Breathe Again
by ysar
Summary: If Alice hadn't seen Bella cliff-dive, what would have happened? Would Bella have given in to her feelings for Jacob? Was she even capable of moving on? Victoria's hunting, Edward's coming back-and that's just the beginning!
1. Dilemma: Bella's POV

**You know those fics where Edward doesn't come back and Bella forgets about him and five seconds later she's in bed with Jacob and none of it makes any damn sense?  
Yeah, this isn't one of them.**

**This story picks up from the moment in New Moon when Jacob has driven Bella home after the cliff diving incident, right before he catches the scent of Alice. Only in this telling, Alice wasn't looking, so there's no sudden appearance at Bella's house, no Rosalie calling Edward and sending him on a suicidal mission to Volterra, and no reason for Bella to do anything but believe that Edward didn't love her anymore. This is simply a story of what might have happened if everyone stayed mostly in character and Edward's return was delayed. Yes, delayed. Because we all know that he was "this close" to coming back on his own anyhow. So what would have happened if Bella had tried to move on with her life?  
Oh, and it's rated M to be on the safe side, not because there are lemons. The lemons are growing, but they won't be ripe for the picking until the sequel.  
**

* * *

No, I'm not Stephenie Meyer, I don't own Twilight, and I'm not getting paid for this. That goes for every chapter I write. However, I would accept payment in the form of one of those gorgeous guys from the Twilight Movie. And by gorgeous, I mean not Mike Newton.

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE: DILEMMA  
(Bella's POV)**

...and the moment was over. Jacob was around the truck before I could snap out of it, opening my door for me. I hesitated, wondering if there was a way I could salvage the chance I'd lost. But I lost my courage and hopped out quickly, unable to meet his eyes. I could tell he was watching me, brow probably furrowed, slight frown on his lips. As if he was trying to read my mind. But my mind had never been as easy to read as my face. Even _I _couldn't make sense of my thoughts.

I trudged toward the house with Jacob one step behind me. Reaching the door, I turned to him. Maybe if I looked him in the eye, maybe then I would know for sure. But that would have been too easy.

"Bells?" he began. I was right; his brow was scrunched & the corners of his mouth turned down. But his eyes were a mystery. They were almost Sam's eyes, distant and guarded. Yet I saw a flash of my Jacob for an instant. Then it was gone.

His too-warm hand reached for mine, then quickly let go. "Don't worry. One of us will be here tonight, too. Now get some sleep. You look awful."

"Thanks, Jacob," I mumbled. "I don't know what I'd do without you."_ And I have no idea what I should do with you_, I added silently.

I unlocked the door and stepped inside, fumbling for the light switch. I turned to see if he was coming in, but he was gone.

Thinking was getting dangerous, at least in terms of my remaining sanity. I washed the few dishes that were in the sink and dug through the fridge for leftovers. I wasn't hungry, but Charlie might be. I guessed he was at the Clearwaters' house, so who knew when he'd be back? I arranged what was left of last night's dinner on a plate, covered it in plastic wrap, and returned it to the fridge. I scrawled a quick note to Charlie, complete with how long to microwave the meal, left it on the kitchen table, and dragged myself upstairs to my room.

A quick check of my email revealed one long-winded note from Renee. There was so much I couldn't (or shouldn't) tell her, so I quickly ran out of things to say and hit send after typing only a few sentences. Well, _that_ took all of three minutes.

I desperately needed a shower, but that would just give me more time to think. So I changed into my old sweats and crawled under the quilt, ready to face the confusing maze of my thoughts and the eventual nightmares that always followed.

Jacob. My best friend. My only friend, if I was being realistic. He loved me in spite of what he was and what I couldn't be. Without him I had nothing, I was nothing---nothing more than the zombie that took over when Edward left me. He'd defied his pack for me, placed himself in danger every night to protect me, and never asked me to be anything more or less than what I was. Sure, his newly acquired supernatural status had caused some problems, but he hadn't abandoned me---not the way Edward had. Not permanently.

Jacob knew me better than anyone, better than I knew myself. Was that it? Was I so busy questioning myself, trying to decipher my twisted emotions and tangled thoughts while Jacob had it all figured out? I remembered Edward's cool embrace, his marble lips, his golden eyes...what was left of my heart wrenched tightly in my chest. Then I thought of Jacob's warm arms wrapped around me, his infectious laughter, and his ability to keep me from falling to pieces again... The pain choking my heart relaxed and I could breathe.

* * *

I awoke feeling less than rested and, as usual, screaming. And, God, my throat hurt. Maybe inhaling sea water wasn't such a good idea after all. I guess I'd be leaving the cliff-diving to the Quileutes from now on. I dressed quickly and headed downstairs. Charlie was in the kitchen staring at a cup of coffee.

"Jake called," he said, snapping out of his thoughts for a minute. Harry's funeral was today. Charlie must have been taking it harder than I thought. He didn't even look away from his coffee. I walked over and gave him a quick hug, holding him a bit tighter than usual, then grabbed the coffee pot and poured a cup for myself.

"Coffee, Bella? Didn't you get enough sleep?" he asked.

Caffeine and I didn't usually get along. Then again, maybe we got along _too_ well, which was why I normally avoided it altogether. I had enough trouble staying upright. Caffeine just sped up my falls, and hyper-clumsiness was far from attractive---or safe, not that I'd cared much about my looks or safety lately. But after yesterday, and the restless sleep I'd gotten last night, coffee sounded good. "It's just one of those days, Dad," I explained.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

We sat there in silence for a while, both staring at our coffee more than drinking it. Sure, the situation was awful, what with Harry's death and my inability to think straight, but at the time I really appreciated that neither of us felt the need to fill the silence with small talk and mindless chatter. Finally Charlie walked to the sink, poured out what was left of his coffee, and grabbed his keys.

"I'm headed back over to Sue's. The funeral isn't till this afternoon, but she could probably use the company."

"Ok, Dad. I'm probably just going to hang out here all day, but I'll leave you a note if I decide to go anywhere." Normally he would have asked questions, like where did I think I might go, but this time he just nodded and left. Great. More time by myself...to think.

I dumped out my coffee, too, and walked over to the window. Edward's voice in my head had told me to be happy, and I wanted so badly to be, even though I knew it wasn't entirely possible. I'd spent my recent past nearly killing myself just to hear his voice. If I was going to allow Jacob to be more than just my friend, I couldn't very well keep putting my life in danger just for imagined moments with Edward. Would I continue hearing him if I stopped all my foolishness? Did I _want_ to? _Could_ I? There was a movement, a flash of color in the shadows behind the trees. I wondered if it was Jake and if he was watching me at that moment. I probably looked awful. Well, I could at least do my thinking in the shower.

* * *

I was just getting my hair wrapped in a towel when the phone rang. _Crap!_ I'd forgotten all about Jacob's phone call.

"Hello?"

_"Bella? You okay?" _asked Jacob.

"Ah, sure. Why? Has something happened?" My heart stopped. Had Victoria gotten close?

_"No, I was just checking on you,"_ he quickly explained, _"...after yesterday. And you didn't call me back."_

I guess that hadn't been him in the woods. "You worry too much, Jacob. I just slept in a bit. And the closest I've come to death today was slipping in the shower."

_"Knowing you, I'm sure that was a close call,"_ he laughed. _"So are you going to the funeral with Charlie?"_

I probably should go. Charlie might need the moral support. Who was I kidding? Charlie was just like me in that respect. Grief was better handled alone. Besides, he'd have lots of friends there who far better at this kind of thing. "No, I don't think so. Charlie doesn't need to spend the whole time worrying about me."

_"Bella? Are you sure you're okay? You seemed a little...off when I left last night."_

_See?_ I said to myself. _Jacob does know me better than anyone._ "I'm just still half-asleep, Jacob."

"_Okay, Bells,"_ he replied with a tinge of uncertainty. "_Call me later_." And the moment was gone again.

If only sleep didn't bring with it nightmares. I knew better than to crawl back into bed and give them another shot at me. So I set the phone back in the cradle and picked up the newspaper.

The crossword puzzle seemed like a good way to keep my mind busy for a little while. Unfortunately, this particular crossword was more difficult than I anticipated, and I found myself wishing Edward was here to help me. _Edward._ The hole in my chest ripped open and I found myself gasping for air. I wrapped my arms tightly around my chest and concentrated on breathing. Clearly sitting around here all day was not going to work. I needed Jacob.

I hurried back up to my room and threw on the first clothes I could get my hands on: a pair of ragged jeans and faded button-up blouse. It was a little cool for something so thin, but I had a coat. Besides, Jake was practically an electric blanket. I grabbed my keys, penned a quick note to Charlie across the face of the crossword puzzle. I practically ran to my truck.

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A/N: This is my first fanfic, and any reviews are greatly appreciated!


	2. Dilemma: Jacob's POV

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**CHAPTER ONE: DILEMMA  
(Jacob's POV)**

It always happened this way. I would hug her, or try to comfort her, and just when it seemed that something incredible was in reach, Bella caught herself. She would tense up or pull away, or crack a joke, reminding me that we were just friends. Just friends. There was nothing _just friendly_ about our relationship. We were so much more than that. Only in her mind, it was like we were family. In my mind it was something entirely different...and impossible. This was just the way things were, and I had to accept it. I didn't have to like it.

I opened her truck door and waited for her to climb out. She sat there for a minute, probably trying to think of a new way to tell me just how "just friends" we were, then stepped down. I watched a tangle of emotions play across her face and waited for her to look up at me. But she didn't-she just headed for the door. True to form, I followed her. I would have followed her anywhere, and she knew it.

"Bells?" I said, reaching for her hand just as she turned to look at me. Why did she look disappointed? I let go. The perfect words to make her love me back were on the tip of my tongue but they were stuck. "Don't worry," I said instead. "One of us will be here tonight, too. Now get some sleep. You look awful." _Did I just tell her she looked awful? What's wrong with me?_

"Thanks, Jacob," she said. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

I retreated to the woods at the edge of her yard and stopped, watching her step into the house and turn on the light. She paused and turned around like she was expecting someone. Then the door shut behind her and I was left standing in the darkness, silently cursing myself for loving her.

* * *

I was running through the forest, relishing the wind whipping past me. I'd stayed there guarding Bella for hours until Jared showed up for his shift. I was free to do anything I wanted...but I only wanted to go back to Bella's.

I heard the crackle of minds and realized the entire pack was out tonight.

'_Any sign of her?' _I silently asked.

'_No, we haven't crossed her scent at all since she got away' _came Sam's reply.

I was relieved and disappointed all at once. The vampire hunting Bella had not attempted to slip past us since we chased her off. It meant Bella was safe, but it also meant she was still out there somewhere, waiting for her next chance. I was immediately consumed with fear and rage at the thought of her finding Bella. I half-hoped she'd return tonight. Our pack was ready to destroy her.

'_Steady, Jake. We'll get our chance soon enough'_

'_Think of it as a night off'_

'_Maybe she gave up'_

Too bad we couldn't take out the Cullens at the same time. It was their fault all this was happening. If they'd never moved back to Forks, Bella wouldn't be in danger. She wouldn't have fallen for that leech who abandoned her. She wouldn't have been afraid to love me. I wouldn't have turned into a monster.

'_Go home, Jake. Get some sleep,' _said Sam.

I had no secrets from them. When we were wolves our minds were connected. They could hear my thoughts, usually centered around Bella. I could hear theirs, too, and they were getting sick of my preoccupation with her. They'd finally stopped giving me a hard time about it, but Sam hated it when I turned my anger toward myself, toward what I had become.

I quickened my pace, everything around me blurring as I practically flew through the woods and into La Push. A few more seconds and I would be home. Daylight would come soon and I was tired. I knew I would dream of her.

* * *

A door slammed loudly, and if I hadn't been so exhausted, I might have sat straight up in bed. As it was I just rubbed my eyes and turned to look at the clock. _Wow. Three whole hours of sleep._ I lay there for a few minutes, trying to force myself back to dreaming, but it was no use. I lumbered into the kitchen and grabbed the phone.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Charlie. Is Bella there?" Of course she was there. The only time she wasn't there was when she was at school or with me.

"_She's still sleeping, Jake. I'll tell her you called."_ He sounded really out of it. I remembered that today was Harry's funeral. That would explain it. And before I could say anything else: Click.

At least she wasn't working. I didn't leave La Push much---at least not in human form---but once or twice I'd gone by when she was working at the Newtons' store. And I saw the way that Newton kid looked at her.

I dropped onto the sofa. Would she call me back? Should I wait a while and try again? How long should I wait? I wanted to get out of the house, but what if I missed her call? I felt just like one of the girls in those silly movies my sisters used to watch, over-thinking something as simple as a phone call.

Couldn't Bella see that I was better for her than that leech she was still pining over? What the hell had he done to her to mess her up so bad? And why wouldn't she let me fix it? I remembered the first time I'd seen her at the beach and we'd wandered away from everyone else. She'd been so beautiful, and she spent the whole night talking to me. Then when she'd shown up here with the bikes it was like seeing a ghost. All the life had gone out of her eyes. But I still thought she was beautiful. And she'd still spent all her time with me. She looked a little more alive lately---when she wasn't coughing up seawater---but she still wasn't the Bella I remembered from the beach.

This afternoon had terrified me. Hearing her scream, seeing her go under the rough waves...I don't think I'd ever been so scared. And when I got her to shore, she'd looked dead. If Sam hadn't been there I don't know that I could have held myself together. It had been so much easier before I'd changed. We'd spent every spare moment together. Her smile had grown a little more sincere, and sometimes she'd laughed like she was truly happy. She'd lit up when we rode the bikes---usually right before she crashed, but still... And then I'd become a monster. The pack had taken me away from her. I had to give her credit, though. As much as I hated what I'd become, it didn't seem to phase her. And at least now I could protect her. But I missed her. Even now that our friendship was back to normal, we didn't get much time together. I hated vampires. And I hated that bloodsucking Edward Cullen most of all.

* * *

Too much time had passed and I hadn't heard from her. I knew one of the pack would be at her house, keeping her safe. But I needed to hear her voice.

"_Hello?"_

"Bella? You okay?" I asked.

"_Ah, sure. Why? Has something happened?"_

"No, I was just checking on you...after yesterday. And you didn't call me back."

"_You worry too much, Jacob. I just slept in a bit. And the closest I've come to death today was slipping in the shower."_

Oh, God. Bella in the shower. Why'd she have to go and put that image in my head? "Knowing you, I'm sure that was a close call," I joked. "So are you going to the funeral with Charlie?"

"_No, I don't think so. Charlie doesn't need to spend the whole time worrying about me."_

"Bella? Are you sure you're okay? You seemed a little off when I left last night."

_"I'm just still half-asleep, Jacob."_

"Okay, Bells." She was a terrible liar. "I guess I should let you finish waking up."

I returned to the couch and leaned back with a sigh. I should have asked her to come over. Or maybe I should have gone to her place. I should have done anything but stay away from her. I closed my eyes and went back to dreaming of her. In my dreams she loved me back...

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_A/N: Please let me know what you think!_


	3. Moments: Bella's POV

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**CHAPTER TWO: MOMENTS  
(Bella's POV)**

Jacob's car was nowhere to be seen. The shades were drawn, and everything was quiet. I knew I should have called first. He was probably at the Clearwaters' too, but since I'd driven all this way, I could knock and make sure.

No answer. _Looks like I'm all alone_, I thought. I turned and headed back to my truck, wondering how I was supposed to survive on my own for a whole day. _Maybe I should just..._

"Bella!"

I turned to see Jacob standing in the doorway. He was massive. He stood at least a foot taller than me, every inch of his body sinewy muscle. Every time he took my hand, mine just disappeared in his impressive grasp. I stood there, momentarily dumbfounded. He looked like he'd just crawled out of bed.

"Sorry, Jake. I didn't mean to wake you. I was just..." _Completely alone? Lost? Dying inside? What was I doing here?_ "Where's your car?"

"Admit it. You can't live without me," he smirked. I just stared at him. "And Embry's got my car. Why?" In just a few long strides, he'd crossed the yard to stand in front of me.

He was right, of course. For months I'd been hanging on to him as if I couldn't live without him. I was so grateful to have him, but I hated that my weakness was so apparent. I could feel the tears welling up and I fought to hold them back. I knew better than to try speaking. That would just turn on the waterworks, and I didn't know what to say anyhow. I just looked up at him, counting on him to hold me together like he always did.

"Oh, Bells..." he murmured as he pulled me against his chest. As usual, he wasn't wearing a shirt. What was it about werewolves and the inability to stay clothed? I pressed closer, folding into his inhuman warmth and wrapped my arms around his waist. There, enveloped in this mountain of a boy, I was safe. Whatever had been constricting my lungs released.

At some point he must have let go and led me inside. We were sitting on the sofa, his arm around me, and he was flipping through the channels with the remote. He finally stopped at a cooking show, and then leaned back into the couch, pulling me closer. I knew he wasn't the least bit interested in how to make the perfect quiche, but he knew I was. I wondered when he'd gotten me all figured out like that. After a couple of episodes, I turned a little, pulled my knees up and tucked them against him, and I lay my head on his chest.

My eyes drifted away from the show and took in the perfection I was leaning against. He really was beautiful. His coppery skin pulled tight across the kind of muscles most men wanted and most women fantasized about. He was flawlessly sculpted and so, so warm. It was hard to believe this was the same boy who'd fallen for my inept flirting last year. Back then I'd thought he was cute. Now I looked at the man holding me, and...nope, I wasn't going to let my thoughts go there! His left hand hovered, absently twirling a bit of my hair around his fingers. God, even his hands were large and perfect.

Edward had been perfect, too, but in a completely opposite way. Whereas Edward was cool and hard as granite, Jacob's soft skin was incredibly warm. Edward's arms were always wrapped around me, but he'd kept me at a safe distance. Jacob was always pulling me closer. With Edward I'd always felt safe, like he would protect me from any threat, but with Jacob I felt safe because nothing was threatening me. At least that's what it _felt_ like.

I sighed and pointed my eyes back to the TV. I had only been awake for a couple of hours, but I was sure I could close my eyes and fall asleep here with him, without the usual nightmares. And that must have been exactly what happened, because when I came to, the quiche was history and a new host was introducing something unpronounceable.

I could hear his heartbeat through his chest, and without thinking I reached out one hand and placed it over the source. It quickened.

His hand was absently tracing an invisible trail on my back, and I felt his breath in my hair. Something brushed my forehead...his lips. And I pressed closer to him.

"Bella?" he started in a coarse voice as I felt his body stiffen. I'd surprised him. He was used to me pulling away. But this time it felt like he pulled away a little.

"Shut up, Jake."

His hand went back to tracing patterns and he relaxed. Maybe words weren't necessary. Surely he knew me well enough to feel how incomplete I was. He couldn't have noticed every _other_ detail about me, even those I hadn't realized myself, and not known I was damaged. Yes, I knew he did. But it still had to be said. "Jacob?"

"I thought I was supposed to shut up," he laughed. But I could feel him tense again and start to pull away, so I snuggled in closer, turning my face into his chest. He didn't pull away, but he didn't relax either.

Why was I having such a hard time with this? With Edward I had been confident, almost brazen. Had it been because I knew that Edward was holding back, that he would always stop me? Yet there I was with Jacob, who I was sure loved me, and I suddenly felt like I was incapable of communicating my feelings, my _desires _to him. Why was I so unsure of myself? _Don't be stupid, _I told myself. _This is Jacob, my Jacob, who I can say anything to. Sure, sometimes he laughs, but then he hugs me so tight I can't breathe. Just say it!_

"You know I'm..." I trailed off. _Words! I needed words!_ "...broken, right?"

"You're not broken, honey. You're just..."

"Broken." I cut him off. "We both know it." It was now or never. "But you still love me, right?"

"Yes." It was barely a whisper.

"And you still...want me...right?"

"Yes." I didn't even hear it this time. I just felt it vibrate through his chest.

"I don't think I can...I don't know. Not like I could before."

His fingertips found my chin, and he raised my face so that I had no choice but to look him in the eye. His expression was confused, and then understanding softened his face. "Do you love me, Bella?"

"Yes," I replied without hesitation. But we both knew that. The question was what kind of love? And was it enough? His eyes narrowed and flashed with an emotion I couldn't place.

His gaze was locked on mine, searching for those same answers. I had to look away, but he wasn't going to let me turn my head. I dropped my eyes and simply looked down. His lips brushed over my hair, then across my forehead, trailing that incredible warmth, and I felt my breath catch. His heartbeat sputtered beneath my palm and he sighed, dropping his hand from my chin and wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face against his neck.

I _was_ safe with Jacob. It didn't matter that my thoughts were spinning or my words were lost or my heart was all but missing. Sure, he was a werewolf, but he was strong enough to hold me together when I should have been falling apart. And unlike my last boyfriend, he wasn't constantly fighting the urge to kill me. I knew he could never be Edward, but then again I wasn't really Bella anymore either. And he loved me anyhow. I could stay there in his arms forever and keep the hole in my chest at a dull ache. He was my sun. Would that be enough for him? Was that even fair?

I steeled myself against my fears, searching for the courage to finish saying what I had started, when his arms suddenly released me. His eyes flashed with pain and then went hard and cold. He slid away from me and I shivered at the loss of his warmth. _Not again! Why couldn't I get this right?_ I scrambled after him, pulling myself as close as I could, burrowing my face against his neck, and placed my hand back over his heart. He held himself rigid but I felt his arms return lightly around me. His breathing was steady but his heartbeat wasn't. I had to say something, do something, before he pulled away again.

My fingers drifted up his chest to his neck, uncertainly over his jaw, and I raised back to look at him. His was glaring at me, his eyes burning with fury, and I visibly cringed. My hand started shaking, and I turned my face to his neck.

His arms tightened around me, and I held my lips over his skin, momentarily afraid to touch against it, barely breathing. What if he pushed me away? He'd never shied away from me before. Of course, I'd never given him the chance. Just then, his grip on me strengthened, and he began to turn his face toward me. I didn't want to see what was in his eyes. I pressed my lips firmly against his neck as my shaky hands snuck up, vainly trying to keep him from pulling away again, and a silent rumble echoed through his body. Suddenly I was flat on my back across the sofa.

Jacob was stretched out above me, supporting his weight over me, and hovering so close I couldn't feel anything but the warmth radiating from him. His dark eyes bore into mine flashing with anger, desperation, and something else. Hope?

"Bella?" he questioned, his eyes begging for an explanation. There was so much I should be saying; so much I had to make clear, but I couldn't arrange my thoughts into words. My only answer was my hands, resting for a moment against his chest, then rushing around his back to clasp him to me.

His mouth found mine and my eyes fluttered shut as I felt his body relax onto mine. I should have been crushed, but he rested his weight on his elbows as his hands pulled my face to his. His mouth was so warm, so gentle against my lips, so unlike the overwhelming power I could feel surging somewhere behind his kiss. I clung to him with desperation, silently preparing myself for the moment he realized how wrong I was for him and pulled away. The tighter I held on, the more urgent his kiss became, compelling my lips to part.

For the first time, I didn't have to be careful, didn't have to hold back. Jacob could hold me without accidentally killing me. Without the risk of venom, I could actually taste him, allowing his tongue to brush mine and linger in my mouth. I'd never been kissed like this. It was shocking...and wonderful.

He rolled to his side, pulling me with him, pressing me tightly against the lines of his body now that his weight wasn't an obstacle. His lips broke from mine and I frantically tried to pull him back. _No!_ I thought, wildly gasping for air, _Don't stop yet! _My eyes flew open as his mouth trailed down my throat, nipping at my collarbone.

Jacob had one arm wrapped under me, as my hands alternated between pulling desperately at his shoulders and creeping between us to trace the lines of his chest. His free hand wandered down my ribcage and up again, and without thinking I slung one leg up around him. A new sound vibrated through him followed by an unrestrained whimper. _Did that whine come from me?_ My eyes drifted closed again as my body arched.

His hand flew down to my thigh, gripping tightly, then his fingers splayed across the small of my back, dipping lower across the seat of my jeans, anchoring me against him. I felt him rolling me back again, pressing his weight against me as he pulled one of my arms from around his neck. _Now it's happening. Now he remembers I'm too damaged, and he's letting me go._ But then his hand trailed back up my arm, to my shoulder, down my neck. He gently slipped my top button loose, exposing just a sliver of the bra beneath.

I wanted to reach down and refasten the button. At the same time I was wishing I'd worn a nicer bra, something lacy and sexier than the plain cotton one had on. Of course, I hadn't been planning on Jacob seeing my underwear today!

His lips grazed my throat then dipped lower. I was breathing too hard, gulping in air and releasing it in uncontrolled gasps. His mouth traced along the top of my bra as his hand crept up my ribcage. Every nerve in my body was on twitching with fire. Just then his teeth pulled at the top of the bra and his tongue darted just beneath it. At the same time he ran his hand up the front of my blouse, his thumb brushing over my breast, and his hips began to press into mine. _Oh my God. What was he doing? What wasI doing?!_

If I could have jumped back I would have. But I was pinned underneath him, pressed against the couch cushions. "Jake!" I gasped. "Jacob, stop. _Please stop_," I begged. Instantly, he spun us over, pulling me half on top of him, one hand tangled in my hair, clutching me against his chest. His hands held me tightly to him but stopped their movement. His chest rose and fell rapidly beneath my cheek. He wasn't going to let me go, but it didn't matter. I was nowhere near catching my breath and I was pretty sure my legs were useless.

Eventually my lungs started working correctly and the fire pulsing through me waned. I noticed he was breathing more normally, too. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the thoughts screaming through my mind.

"Too much?" he chuckled. His chest shook beneath me. _He was laughing at me?_

"Yes," I replied, breathlessly. I couldn't get my head around it. So much had just happened. What was supposed to be a kiss had gone too far, and now Jake was laughing about it. Surely he didn't think we were going to...have sex?

"You sure about that?" he laughed.

"Way too much!" I snapped, launching myself off him and ran for the door.

"Bella, wait!"

He was in front of me in a second, and I lost my balance trying not to slam into him. He caught my shoulders before I could fall, and I looked up to see nothing but laughter behind his smirk.

What had taken me forever to work up to, the kiss that broke my heart yet made it whole all at the same time, it was nothing but a joke to him.

"Let go of me Jacob!" I hissed at him, trying to wrench myself from his grasp.

"C'mon Bells! Don't be mad." He could barely contain himself. Any moment now he was going to be laughing hysterically.

"You can't just-do _that_-just because I kissed you, Jacob You can't---!"

"You weren't mad a minute ago," he added with a chuckle.

Maybe not, but now I was. And that could lead to only one thing: tears.

"Hey, Jake! You in there?" came from the front door.

Great. Embry was here. Could this get any worse?

Still laughing, Jacob let go of me and went to open the door. I spun away, unable to face either of them and stared at the TV.

"Hey, thanks for letting me borrow the car," Embry said as he strolled in. "And you heard about the bonfire on Saturday, right? Those girls we met will be there! Paul's got dibs on Laura, but I hear Maria's only coming to see you. I _know_ you remember her. The _really_ curvy one with---" he stopped suddenly. "Oh! Hey, Bella. Sorry, I didn't know you were here."

"I'm not!" I snapped as I shoved past him and out the door.

The tears were a steady stream now. I yanked my truck door open and scrambled inside. I could hear their laughter echoing from the house as I angrily wiped at my tears with the back of my hand. For once, I wished I had a faster vehicle. The drive home took way too long.

**

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**

* * *

_A/N: Now, before you go all postal on Jacob, remember this: He's not a hundred+ year-old vampire with decades of insight into the female psyche. He's a sixteen year-old boy, complete with hormones, ignorance, and inexperience. Even with the best of intentions, he's bound to screw up._


	4. Moments: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO: MOMENTS  
(Jacob's POV)**

I turned over groggily. Was someone knocking? I lugged myself off the sofa and reluctantly walked to the window. Bella's truck! I ran to throw open the door.

She was walking away? "Bella!" I yelled.

She turned around, a troubled expression on her face. "Sorry, Jake. I didn't mean to wake you. I was just..." she paused like she was searching for the right words. "Where's your car?"

"Admit it. You can't live without me," I joked. Truth be told, it was _I _that couldn't live without _her. _But she didn't smile. "And Embry's got my car. Why?" I rushed over to her. _Why does she look like she's going to cry?_

She looked so vulnerable. "Oh, Bells..." I sighed. I didn't know what to do except hold her. She leaned into me and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. We stood there for a few minutes in silence. When it was clear she wasn't going to cry, I reached for her hand and took her inside.

It didn't seem like she wanted to talk, and I had no idea what to say, so I led her to the sofa and turned on the TV. I must have gone through fifty channels, but finally there was one that didn't look like the news or an infomercial. Bella was into cooking, so at least the scrawny guy in the apron would distract her from whatever was on her mind. And I didn't care what we watched as long as Bella was with me.

After about an hour of silence-and two tortuous sessions with the apron guy, Bella shifted closer to me, pulling herself into a little ball and laying her head on my chest. I wanted to pick her up and cradle her, but I reminded myself I should be happy with the one arm I had around her.

I could feel her eyelashes brushing against me, her breath blowing over my skin. I reached over to touch her face but caught myself, twirling a stray lock of her hair around in my hand instead. She sighed and after a moment, her breathing slowed. Had she fallen asleep? I wanted to see her face, find out, but I didn't want to move and break the moment.

My Bella. She wasn't the same sparkling girl I'd fallen for at that Newton kid's beach party so long ago. _That_ Bella had been bright, filled with life and laughter. _This _Bella was always sad and often scared. But she was still beautiful, from her uneven lips to her unsteady feet. And she was curled up sleeping against me.

I felt her eyelashes flutter and her breathing changed. She moved one hand up to my chest. Without thinking, I stroked her back and kissed her the top of her head. Instead of pulling away, she snuggled closer. _This isn't like her_, I thought, unconsciously sitting up a little straighter.

"Bella?" I didn't mean to sound so surprised.

"Shut up, Jake."

I smiled and resumed stroking her back. She didn't seem to mind.

"Jacob?"

She _did _mind, and now she was going to tell me to back off. "I thought I was supposed to shut up," I laughed without humor. She pressed even closer. _Huh? _

"You know I'm...broken, right?"

"You're not broken, honey. You're just..."

"Broken. We both know it. But you still love me, right?"

"Yes," I whispered. _Where's she going with this?_

"And you still...want me...right?"

"Yes," I said again. At least I tried to, but I was so surprised by her question, I don't think I made a sound.

"I don't think I can...I don't know. Not like I could before."

Love anyone. That's what she didn't think she could do. Anyone but that bloodsucker, that is. Why was she bringing all this up again? Did she think she needed to remind me? _I _had tried to keep the required distance. _She_ was the one who kept moving closer to _me_. Now I was thoroughly confused.

I cupped her chin and raised her face to mine. But the reproach I expected to see in her eyes wasn't there. Instead there was doubt, insecurity, and something softer I didn't want to believe. _Well, hell. It's not like she hasn't said no to me before. _"Do you love me, Bella?"

"Yes," she said instantly.

But I knew better than to think it was the kind of love I wanted. Of course Bella loved me---in a disappointingly platonic way. Why was she doing this to me, making me think for a second that I had a chance with her? Why couldn't she just get to the point and squash my hopes like she always did? I stared at her, waiting, praying I'd see the reason before she said it so I could lock down my emotions before she saw my heart break. She tried to turn her head away, but I couldn't let her. I _needed_ to understand her.

I couldn't make her look at me, though. She dropped her eyes, and I crumbled, like I always did with her. She loved me as much as she could, in the only way she was capable, and I had to be okay with that. I kissed her on the head again and heard her breath catch.

I'd meant for the kiss to be comforting. Instead it had bothered her. I _knew_ I should have just been happy with her nearness, her _friendship_, and left it at that. I sighed and pulled my hand back from her face. It had been so nice to have her close, and I'd ruined it. I hugged her to me, trying to wordlessly tell her that it was okay, that _I_ was okay with how things were. I felt her tense. She didn't try to escape my arms, but she was definitely not relaxed anymore.

I was instantly furious with myself. How could I be so stupid as to believe for one second that she was over him, that she would choose me? I _knew _better. And I couldn't keep holding her so close. It was killing me.

She looked up at me, worry in her eyes, and I inched away from her. Would that be enough distance to make her comfortable? But she just followed me, hiding her face against my neck and putting her hand back on my chest. It was torture. And it was about to get worse.

Her hand moved up my chest, over my throat. I'd dreamed of her touching me like this, but in here, in reality, it was a nightmare. _Doesn't she know what she's doing to me? _Her hand drifted along the line of my jaw and she looked at me again. I wanted to throw her off me and run away. I wanted to crush her against me and kiss her. I was pretty sure she was trying to kill me. I had to say something. This was too much to bear. I turned my face down to her and---

I felt it, I felt _her_. Her lips were on my neck. She was kissing me? She was kissing me! Every sane thought was gone from my mind. Bella was kissing me. _She_ was kissing _me_.

I abruptly threw her back on the couch and stretched out over her, careful to hold myself up off her. "Bella?" _Please tell me this is okay. Please say this is what you want. Me. Tell me you want me. _She wrapped her arms around me and I lost all control.

I kissed her and she didn't resist. If this was my chance I wasn't going to squander it. I relaxed, lowering myself against her. Her hands pulled at me, willing me to get closer, and I didn't hold back. Her lips parted under mine and I could taste her. She wasn't holding back either.

I rolled to my side, pulling her with me and kissed down her neck. Her breathing accelerated and she clung to me. Her hands were around my back, pulling at my waist, roaming over my chest. A whimper escaped her throat, her leg wrapped around me, and her body arched up against mine.

It didn't matter that she'd loved the vampire. It didn't matter that she'd ever loved _anyone_ before me. She was moving against _me_, under _my_ hands. I didn't care that anyone else had coaxed this reaction, these noises from her before. I ran a hand down the side of her body, across the small of her back, over the swell of her hips. I pulled her roughly against me, my hand gripping, kneading over the thin denim of her jeans.

She was so soft, so perfect. She didn't resist when I released the top button of her blouse. I could feel her heart pounding underneath my lips and my senses were assaulted by a new, delicious scent. She was as aroused as I was---I could _smell_ it. I kissed down the center of her chest, over the soft skin swelling above her bra. We were both panting.

I wanted to rip her blouse off, but I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted her, I couldn't be anything but gentle with her. I swept my hand over the front of her blouse, running my thumb over one small, hard nipple. I couldn't stop my hips from pressing more urgently against her, and I heard her gasp my name. It was everything I had dreamed of. Then--

"Jacob, stop. _Please _stop."

I rolled us both over, pulling her on top of me, and I just held her for a minute. I couldn't believe it. Bella had kissed me. She wanted to be with me. Finally! And while I would have preferred something more...romantic?...than a ratty old sofa, Bella didn't seem to mind.

For once I was grateful that the pack shared thoughts. Not that I really cared to share this with them, of course! But I had at least picked up a thing or two from listening to them. Sam let something slip once in a while, but while we were phased, he usually kept his mind on business. The rest of the guys---and Leah---were another story.

Leah subjected us to a constant stream of thoughts of Sam. And the guys had a nasty habit of purposely replaying details of their dates while we were phased. Their mental bragging was annoying, but now I was glad for it. They'd inadvertently told me exactly what to do-and what _not_ to do.

Bella was nearly two years older than me, and plenty of guys had chased her when she'd first moved in with her dad. She never talked about any old boyfriends, but I wasn't stupid. She was eighteen...and she was beautiful...and the way she kissed... Judging from the rate of her breathing I hadn't disappointed her. And it was probably a good thing we had stopped. _Sex on my dad's sofa isn't exactly what I had in mind_, I thought with amusement.

"Too much?" I asked.

"Yes,"

"You sure about that?" I couldn't resist teasing her.

"Way too much," she snapped and jumped up. Was she mad? She rushed toward the door. _Uh-oh._ She was mad. What just happened?

"Bella, wait!" I had to stop her. I couldn't let her run out just because I'd...what _had_ I done?

"Let go of me Jacob!"

"C'mon Bells! Don't be mad."

"You can't just-do _that_-just because I kissed you, Jacob You can't---!"

Oh, okay, I got it. She didn't want me to think she was one of _those_ girls. Silly Bella. As if I could ever think that of _her_.

"You weren't mad a minute ago." I reminded her. If she just thought about it for a second, she'd realize that she enjoyed every second of it as much as I did.

"Hey, Jake! You in there?"

_Dammit, Embry!_ I smiled at Bella & turned to let him. She must have understood because she wasn't trying to leave anymore.

"Hey, thanks for letting me borrow the car," he said, walking in. "And you heard about the bonfire on Saturday, right? Those girls we met will be there! Paul's got dibs on Laura, but I hear Maria's only coming to see you! I _know_ you remember her. The _really_ curvy one with---Oh! Hey, Bella. Sorry, I didn't know you were here."

"I'm not!" And she ran out the door to her truck.

I wanted to strangle him---until I saw the sheepish grin on his face.

"I guess it's a good thing I didn't bring Maria here with me, huh?"

I had to laugh, partly at Embry, and partly because I was just so happy. Even if Bella _had_ just run out the door.

* * *


	5. Perceptions: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE: PERCEPTIONS  
(Bella's POV)**

Charlie wasn't home, so that was a plus. At least I didn't have to explain why my face was red and my eyes were all puffy. I drew a bath, unsure what to do with my time and hoping that the hot water would relax me.

What had just happened? Jacob was supposed to be my best friend. He was _supposed_ to love me. He most certainly was _not_ supposed to turn a kiss into an excuse to cop a feel! And then laugh about it? _With Embry?_ My tears had started out angry but now I was just humiliated. I hated Jacob. I hated Sam for taking my Jacob away and replacing him with that...that smirking, pompous, self-absorbed monster! I hated Edward for abandoning me to a pack of adolescent hormone-crazed wolves. I hated myself for being so gullible and stupid. I was seething with hatred for everything and everyone.

Edward and I had never really ventured beyond kissing. But I'd been with Edward for months. And I'd wanted a lot more than kissing. I'd even asked him about sex once---not because I planned on jumping in bed with him right then, but because I wanted to know if it was an option later on. I didn't _really_ think I was going to wait until I was married. To be honest, I wasn't too sure about marriage at all. But I was at least going to wait until I was ready. At the rate Jacob had been taking things, the wait would have been about ten more minutes.

It had been so hard for me to find the courage to turn to Jacob, to kiss him, to hope he really could be more than my best friend. I couldn't understand how it had gone so wrong. _My_ Jacob had always been so patient with me. The Jake I'd seen today was completely different. What had happened wasn't even a first date kind of thing-at least not as far as I was concerned. It was _maybe _a third or fourth date kind of thing. _If_ you were in love. _If _you had come to an understanding. And it had seemed like Jacob had wanted to take it to a ninety-ninth date kind of thing. What was he _thinking_? Was it the werewolf thing? Was this the kind of person he had become? Was that what he thought love was? Maybe I didn't really know him at all.

I shivered. The warm water had faded to uncomfortably cool, and I was dismayed to find I hadn't relaxed one bit. Now what was I supposed to do? Just about everything reminded me of Edward, and for months I'd had Jacob to help me escape the pain. Now the thought of Jake just made my blood boil. I toweled off quickly and grabbed my jeans again. But I left the offending blouse on the floor and opted for a sweatshirt instead. Much warmer, much more comfortable, and much less associated with anything distressing. I was considering taking a walk in the woods, hoping that bit of recklessness might bring Edward's voice back to me, that hearing him might ground me, when the phone rang. _That had better not be Jake!_

"Hello?"

"Bella?" It was Angela.

"Hi," I said, unable to hide the surprise in my voice. No one ever called for me anymore. Well, except Jake, and that was probably going to change now.

"Hey, Mike's having a beach party tonight, and a bunch of us are going. I know you don't really like...doing things, so much, anymore--," She was trying so hard to be nice about it. "--but it would be so nice to have you there. Ben and I can pick you up if you want."

I answered too quickly, "Sure. That sounds great."

"_Really_?" She sounded surprised, and for a moment I wondered if she'd just invited me to be polite, hoping I'd say no. But this was Angela. She didn't have a manipulative bone in her body.

"Yeah, Ang, I could use a change." I could use a whole new life, but that wasn't going to happen.

"Ok, we'll be there at six. See you then!" she said excitedly.

I immediately regretted my decision. Angela had always been kind, even when everyone else decided I was crazy. And though I'd barely spoken to her for months while I was in my 'zombie phase,' she never held it against me. And Ben was nice, too. I mean, he was dating Angela, after all. While I was sure Mike would wonder when I'd rejoined the living, he'd never actually been rude to me. But then there was Jessica. And Lauren. (Groan) And any number of other people who would treat me like a leper. I resisted the urge to call Angela back and cancel, reminding myself that it was better than staying at home alone with my thoughts.

* * *

It was exactly as bad as I'd imagined. Lauren and Jessica didn't even try to hide the fact that they were talking about me, and when I sat down on a big log serving as a bench by the fire, a few people actually got up and walked away. Angela kept me company at first, but before long she was sitting off to the side with Ben, completely unaware of anyone else. I couldn't blame her. I'd have done exactly the same thing if I had someone there who truly cared about me...

This was a terrible idea. Not only was I alone, but my thoughts were now drifting back to the last time I'd come to one of Mike's parties. The one where I'd met Jacob and flirted with him until he told me the truth about the Cullens. I was in my own personal hell.

"Hey, Bella." Mike mercifully interrupted my depressing train of thought and I gave him a wan smile. "I would have invited you."

_You're a bad liar, Mike._

"But I didn't think you'd be interested."

_I guess I see your point. _"Its okay, Mike. I'm starting to think this wasn't such a good idea." I gestured toward everyone else, then myself, pointing out the obvious.

"Well, _I'm_ glad you're here," he said as he sat down beside me, a little closer than I expected. "I've missed you." He looked like he was about to reach for my hand, so I quickly pulled it up to push my hair behind my ear. He smiled brightly and didn't seem to catch the rejection.

Mike made small-talk with me for what seemed like years, all the while throwing small rocks and twigs at Eric, who was trying to impress Katie-and was _not_ thrilled with the constant interruptions. We discussed classes and homework, sports (I just nodded and agreed with whatever he said, since I really had no clue), and working at his parents store. The conversation was shallow, but at least it distracted me for a while. Mostly I just concentrated on avoiding his not-so-subtle attempts to hold my hand or put his arm around me.

After his tenth (or was it his twentieth?) story about football practice, he reached behind my back to toss something in Eric's direction and slipped his arm around my shoulders before I could stop him. _Oh, well_, I thought, _at least someone isn't avoiding me like the plague._ I was trying to find a non-obvious way to wriggle out of his grasp when I saw them approach. Just like last time, the Quileute boys had decided to join us. _Wonderful_.

Sam was in the lead, of course. He didn't look happy, but that was nothing unusual. Behind him were Paul, Jared, Embry...and Jacob. They were a sight to see, all of them tall and muscular, much bigger than any of the boys from school.

_Maybe I should have just drowned myself in the bathtub when I had the chance._

It only took a second for Jacob to notice me, and, upon glimpsing Mike, his mouth immediately drew down into a tight line. My dismay must have been apparent because Mike looked at me curiously then leaned close to say something I assume was supposed to be reassuring. I didn't hear a word he said. I was too busy watching Jacob's reaction. For a second I was thrilled. Jacob's roaming hands had ruined everything, and now he would see that not only would I _not_ be used that way, but I had a life that didn't include him. Then the hole in my chest opened up and my brief satisfaction was ruined.

Mike was still talking, and I nodded a few times, hoping it looked like I was listening. Jacob sat as far away from me as possible and Lauren wasted no time in turning all her attention to him. And why shouldn't she? He was perfect. His skin glowed in the firelight and when he laughed it sent his muscles into ripples across his flawless chest. It didn't hurt that, as always, he wasn't wearing a shirt. She was laughing a little too loudly at his jokes and finding lots of excuses to touch his arm or brush his knee. He seemed to be eating it up. From what I'd heard of her escapades, she was perfect for him, too. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Mike finally got up to get a drink and, realizing no one was paying attention to me, I took the chance to slip away. I walked down the beach for a while, tripping a few times. When I was tired of picking myself back up, I perched myself on the edge of a large rock and stared out at the water. I half-hoped I would see Victoria's flaming hair in the distance. At least then Edward would talk to me and I wouldn't be so alone. Well, not completely alone...I always had my thoughts to torture me.

I wished I was back in Phoenix, where the sun was always shining and my friends weren't monsters capable of killing me. I wished I could sleep without nightmares, without waking up screaming at the top of my lungs. I wished I had better sense than to fall for boys who thought nothing of abandoning me. I wished I knew how to fill the hole that was ripping me apart. I drew my arms tightly around my chest and tried fiercely to hold myself together.

"There you are," said Sam.

I jumped at the sound of his voice. _How long have I been sitting here?_

"Your friends are worried about you."

"I don't have any friends," I sighed.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself." Why did _he_ care? He was probably just glad I wasn't with Jacob.

Something clattered on the rocks nearby, and we both turned.

"Bella!" called Mike, hurrying toward us. His eyes narrowed when he saw Sam. "I was looking for you," he said as he eyed Sam suspiciously.

I almost laughed. This scenario was disturbingly familiar. "Well, you found me," I said with a weak smile.

Sam stared out into the darkness and slipped away quietly.

"Come on. I'll take you home."

"That's okay, Mike. I came with Angela-I should probably ride with her."

"Well, I kind of told her to go ahead. So it looks like I'm your ride." I think he was trying to sound apologetic, but he just sounded really happy. "It's still early, though. We could find something in town to do for a while...," he offered hopefully.

"I'm actually pretty tired. Would you mind just taking me home?" I wasn't looking forward to riding with Mike, but I was definitely ready to leave.

* * *

We pulled in behind Charlie's cruiser.

"Thanks for the ride," I said quickly, hopping out and stumbling a little in my rush toward the door._ Please don't let him follow me._ No such luck.

"I was thinking maybe you'd want to see a movie tomorrow? There are a couple of new ones out," he said with a bright smile.

"Ah, I'm not really into movies right now, Mike." _Or anything that involves men, supernatural or not, _I added silently.

"Oh." He looked confused, but not ready to back down. "Okay, then, we'll skip the movie and just go out to eat."

_You have got to be joking! _"I can't. I have to cook for Charlie. He'll starve without me." I tried to sound firm. It didn't work.

"That's too bad," he said. "Angela really wanted you to come with us."

_Angela? _"So you're talking about a group thing?" I asked.

"Sure," he said. Then he grinned. "Except Lauren."

The mention of her name spun my mind in a whole different direction. Seeing Jake flirt with her all night had been agonizing, and my annoyance with Mike was suddenly replaced by anger at Jacob. The kind of anger that makes you agree to stupid things. "Okay then, I guess I could meet you all there."

"Actually, since we haven't exactly decided what to do, we should probably just pick you up. Is seven okay?"

"Alright," I agreed grudgingly. It would have been so much easier to leave early if I drove myself.

* * *

I'd failed to get a good night's sleep, as usual. I woke up screaming long before Charlie was up, and nothing could get my eyes to close again. The sun wasn't even out yet, although there was a weak glow in the eastern sky. It had been too long, and I'd been through too much since I'd last heard Edward's voice. I wandered into the woods in search of it.

I abandoned the trail quickly. It was too safe, and I knew that being safe was not the way to summon his voice. I felt like I'd walked for miles, but I'd probably only been gone an hour or two. With my luck I was just walking in circles. Suddenly I heard something nearby. I studied the forest around me but couldn't see it. I sat down and smiled to myself, waiting for Edward's voice. But nothing happened. I heard it again, and I stumbled up and walked toward it. _This is suicidal,_ I thought. _But it's worth it to hear him again, _I reminded myself. I was greeted only by silence.

What was happening? Why couldn't I hear him? I'd roamed aimlessly in what I knew was a very dangerous place to be. I was all alone. Victoria might even be out here. There was no one to help me, no one to even know if anything terrible happened. I probably couldn't even find my way home. But still there was silence. I slowly spun around, silently begging for danger to leap from behind the trees. I finally just dropped to the ground and cried.

When there were no tears left, I pulled myself up and started walking again. It didn't matter which direction I was going---I didn't even care if I never found my way out of the woods. Occasionally I would hear something nearby and move toward it. But it was useless. His voice was gone. After only a few minutes I emerged to find I'd wandered right back into my own yard.

* * *

I heard a car pull into the driveway---they were early. I pulled my mouth into what I hoped was a believable smile, and I stepped outside.

"Hey, Bella! You look nice," Mike said with enthusiasm. Clearly he needed glasses. Then again, maybe I did too, because I couldn't make out anyone else in his suburban.

"Where's everyone else? Are they meeting us there?" I asked.

His grin broadened.

_Oh, no. This is not a good sign._

"Sorry, but Angela and Ben cancelled. And Eric's going somewhere with Katie. Oh, and Tyler's grounded," he added.

I wondered if it was too late for me to cancel, too.

"So I guess it's just us!" a little too happily.

Why did I have the feeling this was planned? I couldn't come up with an excuse fast enough, so I reluctantly got in the passenger seat.

As he had before, Mike spent the evening regaling me with stories I barely listened to. I'm pretty sure he mentioned football a few thousand times, and we might have talked about a class or two, but I wasn't sure. The restaurant we went to was nice---not fancy nice, but nicer than fast food, so I tried to be gracious. Afterward he insisted on a movie and I was too apathetic to argue. Of course he picked out something romantic. Fortunately I didn't have a chance to let the saccharine sweet love story depress me even further, as I was too busy leaning away from him, trying to keep my hand away from his. I was so relieved when he finally drove me home.

I knew I couldn't stop him from walking me to my door. It had been all I could do to jump out of the suburban before he could make it around to my side. I just made sure I had my keys ready, mumbled something about not wanting to wake up Charlie (who probably wasn't even asleep yet), and moved quickly toward the house. I didn't even look back at him as I unlocked the door.

Before I could stop him, he spun me around and kissed me full on the mouth. I was too stunned to move. But then I felt his tongue push against my lips and I jumped back, knocking my head against the door.

He grinned and practically ran to his suburban. I just stood there, horrified & rubbing the soon-to-be knot on the back of my head, as he pulled out of the driveway. Before I could even begin to understand what had gone _so_ wrong I saw something move in the shadows.

"I guess you got home safely," said Jake, scowling as he stepped into the glow of the porch light.

"That was..." I started, but there were no words awful enough to describe what had just happened. Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked down quickly, hoping Jacob didn't see. I would _not_ cry in front of him.

The door opened behind me and Charlie stepped out. "Where have you been?" he demanded. I guess I'd forgotten to tell him I had been tricked into the date from hell. "Thanks for bringing her home, Jacob, but...Bells? What's wrong?"

"Mike kissed me!" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Charlie looked surprised. And pleased! "Well, Mike's a good kid. You could do a lot worse."

I knew he was referring to Edward, and I lost it. "Really? A lot worse than being tricked into a date with Mike when he promised me it was a group thing? Worse than him being stupid enough to think I want to go out with him?" My voice was cracking and I couldn't hold back the tears, but I was too furious to stop. "Worse than him kissing me when I was just trying to get away from him?" I was screaming at him now. "Worse than boys who ruin something wonderful because they're too oversexed to know when to stop?" Okay, maybe that last part was really about Jacob. "Really, Dad? I could do worse than that? Thanks a lot! I have so much to look forward to!"

I didn't even look at Jacob and I ignored Charlie's shocked expression as I pushed past him to get inside. I stormed up to my room and didn't even bother changing. I just crawled into bed and cried.

* * *


	6. Perceptions: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE: PERCEPTIONS  
(Jacob's POV)**

I had no idea what had just happened, but I thought it would be better if she had some time to cool down. Bella had kissed me, and that was enough for now. She hadn't turned her back on me when she found out I was a werewolf, so whatever happened this morning would be easy to overcome. I just had to get through the next few hours, and then I could go to her.

I phased with Embry and spent the rest of the day with the pack. I did my best not to think of Bella, but every now and then, I'd remember her soft lips, the feel of her body under mine, the taste---

"_It's about time!"_

"_Ughhh! Can you skip past the mushy stuff and get to the good part?"_

"_Does this mean we can't call her Vampire Girl anymore?"_

"_ENOUGH!"_

I could always count on Sam.

We spent most of the day searching for Victoria. Her scent was weaker, so we knew she hadn't been near again. At the end of the day, we decided to split up, the newer pack members would go to Forks to watch near Bella's house, and the rest of us would meet back at First Beach. Sam wanted someone near Bella's just in case, but her scent had been strongest yesterday at the beach, so he was pretty sure that would be her route. It made more sense for the stronger pack members to be waiting for her there.

I had one hour before I had to be at the beach, and I was going to make it count.

* * *

I knocked on the door and waited, rehearsing all the things I wanted to say to her.

"Hey, Jake." I hid my disappointment when Charlie answered. "Bella didn't tell me you were coming over. Come on in."

"Thanks, Charlie. Is she here?"

He nodded then turned to yell toward the stairs, "Bella! Jake's here!"

A few minutes passed while Charlie made small talk and I tried to hide my impatience.

"I don't know what's keeping her, Jake," he finally said. "Just go on up. I'm sure she won't mind."

_I really hope not,_ I thought, trying to keep from running up the stairs to her room. The door was open and the light was off.

"Bella?" I called, taking one step in. Her room was empty.

Clothes were tossed across the top of her unmade bed, like my sisters used to do when they were trying to decide what to wear. Her books were piled on the desk next to her ancient computer. The curtains were drawn closed over the window, which was open a couple of inches despite the weather. I closed my eyes as her scent drifted to me.

It was coming from the bathroom. When I went to look, I saw damp towels left on the floor. The mirror was still lightly fogged from a recent shower---or did Bella prefer baths? In the air hung the intoxicating floral smell of her hair. And there, balled up in the corner, was the blouse she'd been wearing earlier.

I could still see it on her, the thin fabric gently clinging to her curves, swelling over her rising chest as her breathing accelerated when I'd touched her. I could see the top button give way, the cloth fall back to reveal the tops of her small breasts...

"She's not in her room, Charlie," I said, returning downstairs.

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"Ah, it looks like maybe she went out."

"With who?" he demanded.

That's exactly what I wanted to know. "She didn't say anything to you?" It was a dumb question, but I didn't know what else to say.

He looked thoughtful for a second. "She's been acting real strange lately. Unhappy, but different from before. You don't think that Cullen kid is back, do you? You don't think she'd run away with him?"

_She probably would, _I thought, _but _"No, he's not back. I'm sure she just forgot to tell you she was going. She's probably just with some friends. Don't worry, I'll find her."

I left quickly, anxious to find Bella. And despite what I'd said to Charlie, I _was_ worried. I knew the Cullens weren't back---we'd have picked up their scent. But what if she'd heard from them? What if she'd gone to meet them? No, she wouldn't have just left Charlie without saying anything. And she wouldn't have just left me...would she?

When I reached the beach, they were waiting for me and we immediately began scouring the area for any sign of the vampire or Bella. I'd phased leaving Bella's house, but her scent disappeared at the driveway. It occurred to me that Victoria could be behind Bella's disappearance, but Sam quickly broke into my thoughts and assured me that there was no sign of Victoria making it past our lines. He was right. And Bella's room _had_ looked like she had been getting ready to go somewhere, not like she'd been taken. That's when we noticed the fire.

It looked like the typical group of teenagers having a party on the beach, sitting ducks for a hungry vampire. The area appeared to be relatively safe, but Sam thought it best to be cautious, taking our roles as protectors seriously. We decided to abandon our patrol and join them. As we approached, I realized I recognized a few of them. _They used to be Bella's friends, _I thought. And then I saw her.

Bella was sitting by the fire with that Newton kid. And he had his arm around her. She looked right at me, but she didn't even smile. Did she usually sit this close to him? And why was he leaning in so close? Was he going to kiss her? No. And it's a good thing, too, because I would have killed him.

She turned her attention back to that moron. What kind of game was she playing? Sam put his hand on my shoulder just as my anger was starting to show and led me to sit with him at the opposite side of the fire. At least we had found her. At least she was safe. At least from there I could watch her and make sure no vampire came near her...even if I couldn't do anything about the blond kid that was dangerously close to having his limbs ripped off.

"Hi! You're Jake, aren't you?" someone asked.

"Yeah," I said.

Bella was just staring at Newton and nodding. She was hanging on every word he said.

"And you have a motorcycle?"

"Uh-huh," I mumbled.

Newton was brushing Bella's hair from her face.

"I'd love to go for a ride sometime," she purred, putting her hand on my knee.

"Sure."

At least Bella wasn't touching Newton. Yet.

"I'm Lauren," she said.

I turned to look at her. She was pretty, in a not-as-perfect-as-Bella kind of way. And she was paying attention to me, unlike Bella, who was throwing another guy in my face. Well, two could play that game.

"So you like motorcycles?" I asked, turning my full attention to...what was her name?

"I might. They seem so...dangerous." Was she trying to be seductive?

I let her go on, overplaying her sultry card as long as I could stand it. Even Paul seemed to fall for my false interest in her, sneaking me a thumbs-up behind her back. It was all I could do not to openly stare at Bella instead. Occasionally Lauren would say something that was supposed to be funny, and when I would laugh, I could sneak a glance from the corner of my eye. Mike never left her side, and Bella never looked away from him.

When the fire was dying down Sam stepped in to save me just as Lauren was hinting not-too-subtly that I should give her a ride home. I turned to see that Bella was gone. Even worse, Mike's suburban was still parked nearby, confirming my fear. She had not only wandered off to be killed by a vampire, she had wandered off with _him._

Sam and I quickly slipped away from everyone and phased. Sam wanted to find Bella before the vampire did. I did too, but I had other reasons as well. We split up, following her scent. It was easy to find, but not easy to track. What had she done? Wandered in circles and touched everything on the ground on her way? It seemed as if not a rock or branch or leaf within a two-mile radius was without her scent.

"_She's here." _

I could see her through Sam's mind. She was curled up with her arms wrapped tightly around her. My happiness to see her alone, not with Mike, was instantly crushed by the emptiness in her eyes. I'd rather have seen her with anyone than to see her _that_ alone. Sam phased before I could see anything else, and I hurried toward them.

I had just phased back---and dressed---when Sam cut me off. Bella couldn't have been more than twenty yards ahead of me.

"He's taking her home," said Sam.

I began shaking with rage. _What the hell is she doing?_

"Leave it alone, Jake."

* * *

Despite Sam's warning, I went straight to Bella's after we left. He could have stopped me. It's not like he couldn't see in my head as I raced through the woods. But he didn't.

I ran so fast I got there before she did, so I waited, just inside the tree line at the edge of her yard and made a plan. I would stay calm. I would just wait for Newton to leave. I would talk to her. It was that simple.

It wasn't like she was going to invite him in. It was late, and she'd be too wary of Charlie. All I had to do was catch her before she got inside, and we'd be able to work this out. Maybe I'd said or done something to make her think I wasn't serious about her. She couldn't be upset because I'd stopped, could she? She _did_ tell me to. Maybe she's just gone out with him out of pity. Maybe she just wanted to make me jealous. (It worked). Whatever the reason, I could get past it and we could get back to where we'd been. She would kiss me again and everything would be okay.

His suburban pulled in right behind Charlie's cruiser. Bella got out and Newton followed her to the door.

I listened as he asked her out again, and breathed a sign of relief as she turned him down. But my relief was short-lived.

"That's too bad. Angela really wanted you to come with us," he pressed.

"So you're talking about a group thing?" she asked him.

"Sure. Except Lauren."

_Crap! Why'd he have to bring her up?_

Her eyes narrowed as soon as he said it, and she instantly agreed to another date. I was too busy kicking myself for trying to make her jealous that the door was closed behind her before I realized it. Not only had I missed my chance to work things out with her tonight, but my stupidity had pushed her into a date with Newton. I was too angry to chance talking to her tonight, and I would have to wait even longer now. I forgot to undress before I phased.

* * *

I wandered the woods outside Bella's all night. I didn't speak to the pack, but they knew why I was there. They left just before dawn, but I stayed behind. _Should I confront her? Find out what was going on? Or just give her time and hope she comes around?_

I wasn't exactly decided on leaving her alone, but I thought I should give the patience thing a try. Bella had been mad at me before, but she'd never stayed that way long.

* * *

Just as the sun was beginning to rise, I heard Bella screaming. Charlie had mentioned it to Billy once, but I hadn't been prepared for how disturbing it was when I'd first heard her. I was used to it now, but it still shook me to the core each time. More than anything I wanted to run up to her room and hold her, and tell her everything would be okay, that I would protect her, that I loved her. But breaking down Charlie's front door and running to Bella's bedside uninvited wasn't a good idea, especially now. So I just stood there, waiting for the screams and the sobs to fade, silently cursing the enhanced hearing my new form afforded me.

I was surprised to see Bella emerge from the house a few minutes later. She looked disheveled and unrested. And she headed straight into the woods. At first, she stuck to the narrow path, but she quickly left it, wandering into the forest. She seemed to walk without direction, and I followed her, half wanting to protect her, half just wondering where she was going.

After little more than an hour, I carelessly brushed too closely to a branch, snapping it, and Bella heard. She started in my direction, but I backed silently into the shadows where my fur was well camouflaged, and I stayed hidden. I watched as she looked all around, then crumbled to the ground and cried. Her sobbing wrenched at my heart. It wasn't fear that was paining her. It was something much, much worse. I wanted to go to her, try to comfort her, try to help her, but I had the strange feeling I would be intruding. Whatever was going on with her, it was intensely private. Even my being there in secret felt wrong.

As I stood there, torn between giving Bella time and giving her a shoulder to cry on, the tears quieted and she pulled herself up. She immediately started walking again, and it dawned on me that she should probably be heading home, not the direction she was going. Short of revealing myself, which would make her think I was spying on her (and maybe I was, a little), my only option was to somehow lead her back the right direction. She'd walked straight toward me earlier when I'd made a noise. Maybe she would do the same thing again.

I stepped deliberately on a twig and her head snapped around toward the sound. She turned and walked toward me. _This is working, _I thought, backing into the brush before she spotted me. I kept it up the whole way back to her house, brushing up against something or breaking something, basically going against every instinct I had to be quiet, every time Bella would stray in the wrong direction. When her house was finally in sight I stepped aside and waited, watching to make sure she continued forward. With Bella's sense of direction, you never could be sure. When she stepped out into her own back yard, she looked disappointed, but I felt nothing but relief. No matter what was going on in her head, she was safe.

I waited until she had gone inside then listened to make sure someone else was around to watch.

"_You can go, Jake. I'll take it from here." _said Jared.

I ran home a little slower than usual---I was exhausted---and went straight to bed.

* * *

When I woke, it was dark. I'd overslept! I immediately phased and ran back to Bella's but she was gone. Jared and Seth had been watching her house while I slept.

"_How long?" _I asked.

"_She's been gone four hours"_

"_Who's she with?" _

"_She's on her way back now. Leah's been following."_

"_Who's she with?" _I didn't like the way they were avoiding my question.

"_Just him"_

_"What about the rest of them?" _

"_Sorry Jake."_

"_You can go," _I told them both. They left without a word. If a vampire showed up tonight, I was angry enough to handle it on my own.

I didn't have to wait long before the suburban pulled into the driveway. Leah didn't bother sticking around, either.

Bella got out quickly and walked toward the door, with Newton on her heels. As soon as they got to the door, they were kissing. It was a good thing I was already phased, or I would have lost another pair of shoes. He stepped back with a proud grin on his face, running to his suburban. I wondered if anyone would notice if he mysteriously disappeared.

The second he was gone, I phased back and stepped into the light. Bella was still standing in the doorway.

"I guess you got home safely," I said. I couldn't hide my anger.

"That was..." she said, and then she looked down. She was probably upset that she'd been caught. And she should have been. After what she'd done with me just two days ago, it didn't say a lot about her to be kissing another guy tonight. I'd never known Bella had it in her to be..._like that._

"Where have you been?" Charlie practically yelled, sticking his head out the door.

Good. He was angry too. She deserved it. Then he saw me.

"Thanks for bringing her home, Jacob, but...Bells? What's wrong?"

"Mike kissed me!" she said. She sounded upset, but not the kind of upset I expected.

"Well, Mike's a good kid. You could do a lot worse," said Charlie.

_That's not what you were supposed to say, Charlie!_

Then Bella just snapped. "Really? A lot worse than being tricked into a date with Mike when he promised me it was a group thing? Worse than him being stupid enough to think I want to go out with him? Worse than him kissing me when I was just trying to get away from him? Worse than boys who ruin something wonderful because they're too oversexed to know when to stop? Really, Dad? I could do worse than that? Thanks a lot! I have so much to look forward to!"

I stood there stunned as Bella ran into the house. I'd never seen her yell at her father--or anyone else-- like that. Charlie looked no less surprised than I. Bella had started out angry and ended up screaming and in tears. _Why is she always doing that?_

"Do me a favor, Jake," Charlie said when the shock wore off. "Figure out what's going on with her."

"Sure, Charlie." _What does he think I've been trying to do?_

"Your sisters ever act like this?"

"Ah, I don't think so." _Did they? Was this something girls usually did?_

Charlie shrugged apologetically then went inside.

There was _no way_ I was going to try talking to her right now.

I stood there in the yard trying to make sense of it. I mulled over what she'd said...well, yelled..., trying to pick it apart. First, Mike had tricked her into a date, so obviously she wasn't interested in him. Second, she didn't want to kiss him. _Maybe I won't have to kill him after all. _And third, some "oversexed boy" had really pissed her off. But I couldn't think of anyone else she'd been around lately. She wasn't making any sense. I sighed, stepping back into the woods.

_I don't understand girls..._

* * *


	7. Persistence: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR: PERSISTENCE  
(Bella's POV)**

It was three in the morning and I was wide awake.

How did I get here? I'd moved to Forks expecting repetition and boredom. What I'd gotten was vampires and werewolves and more close-calls than I wanted to think about. Why couldn't I be a normal teenager? Everyone else my age was concerned with classes and grades and getting dates to the prom. I was more worried about death by monster and feeling like my heart was being ripped out. This could not be normal.

I wasn't nearly as afraid of the nightmares as I was of laying in bed for hours thinking about all my mistakes. For the second time in my life, I sought the help of cough syrup to wipe away my consciousness.

* * *

_I was in the meadow, again, but it was pitch dark except for moonlight, and I was completely alone. The outlining forest buzzed with life and I could hear someone---or something---circling me just inside the trees. I slowly turned in circles, trying to glimpse it. Was it Edward? Was it Victoria?!_

_I could feel its eyes on me, lots of eyes. Then I heard a low snarl. Twigs cracked and leaves rustled closer and closer to me. I spun wildly, my eyes straining against the darkness, trying to determine where it was, which direction I should run from. Then I saw them._

_Eyes reflected in the moonlight, and they were approaching me from all sides. Something----several somethings---were stalking me and I was surrounded. The snarl became a low growl, then...laughter?_

There was no screaming this time. Instead, tears were spilling onto my pillow.

"Bella? Bells, honey, wake up."

I could barely move my eyelids, so I just groaned and rolled away from the voice, pulling my pillow over my head.

"Bella!" I was being shaken. "Bells, please talk to me," the voice pleaded.

Jacob? What was he doing in my room, kneeling over my bed? And where was all the light coming from? And why were my eyelids so heavy? Oh yeah, cough syrup. Well, it was certainly doing its job.

"Go away," I mumbled.

"Not until you talk to me."

"No," I said into the pillow.

"Last night...when I saw you kissing him..."

"_I _didn't kiss him. He _attacked_ me."

"I know."

"I'm done with boys. They're all stupid."

"You kissed _me_, Bella," he whispered.

"You're stupid, too." I was really starting to appreciate the effects of cough syrup.

"You _liked_ kissing me, Bells."

Okay, it was time to wake up now. "And you turned it into...into...something _obscene!"_

"That's crazy, Bella," he snarled. "I didn't--I wasn't--what the hell are you talking about?"

I sat straight up, glaring at him while the room spun a little. What was _in _that cough syrup? "You said you loved me. I trusted you, Jacob! _I trusted you!_" I shrieked hysterically. I threw the quilt back and scurried out of bed. Never mind the tears. I was too angry to care that I was crying-again.

In a flash he rose up to his full height and crushed me to his chest. I pushed against him, but it was fruitless. It didn't help that the floor was swaying or that I was sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bella, please," he begged. "Don't cry, honey. I'm sorry. Tell me how to fix this."

"Leave," I sobbed, trying to push him away. He didn't budge. "I won't be taken advantage of. Go find someone else to...to feel up!"

I couldn't see clearly through the tears, but his rage was evident. He pushed me away swiftly and crossed the room to face the window. His whole body was shaking and his huge fists were clenched. I was almost too scared to say his name.

"Jacob?"

He spun to face me and there was fire in his eyes.

"Jacob, please calm down. We can talk," I pleaded.

"_Now_ you want to talk?" His shaking got worse. "Why?" he practically roared at me. "Because I _terrify_ you?"

If I said yes, would he get even angrier and turn into a furious wolf? If I said no would he be insulted and turn into a furious wolf? Surely there had to be an answer that wouldn't get me killed! I automatically took a step back, my legs bumping up against the bed. I didn't want to sit, but the cough syrup was making it hard to stand. I just dropped back onto the mattress. I knew how I must look: mouth gaping, eyes wide with fright, tears streaming silently down my face.

It seemed he only took one long step to stand in front of me, leaning over me again. The shaking was still there, but I imagined it was just a bit less than a second ago. His eyes were black and cold. His enormous body projected a fever onto my skin, and his face was so close to mine I had to lean back a little to focus.

His face contorted into a snarl, and his fists were actually vibrating. The veins in his arms practically leapt through his skin and his chest rippled.

_Yes, now I'm terrified of him._

"I would have thought you braver than this, Bella," he sneered. "After all, I'm not the first monster you've been with!"

_What? Where is this coming from? And why is he angry with me? I am the one who was taken advantage of. I am the one who was laughed at. I am the one who's about to be ripped apart by a giant wolf!_

I stupidly raised my hand to his face. I meant to be soothing, to calm him a little. Surely if I showed I didn't think he was a monster, he would calm down, right? But as I rested my fingers on his trembling cheek, my thumb brushed across his lips and I felt myself leaning toward him. _That _was a mistake. His breath was hot against my lips, and I wondered if his kiss would taste like I remembered. He froze. No shaking, no breathing, no motion at all. The only change was the streak of alternating emotions blazing across his eyes.

His hands relaxed out of their fists. His rage collapsed and he started to step back but I grabbed his hand. I knew I couldn't stop him. He was much too strong, but he stopped anyway.

"I could have hurt you, Bella," he whispered.

"But you didn't."

He pulled me back up to my feet and looked down at me. What was that in his eyes? Relief? Shame? Pity? I dropped my gaze to his chest, momentarily dazzled by his beauty. Dazzled. I'd thought only Edward could have that effect on me. And where _was_ Edward? Where was his voice? Edward always spoke to me when I was in danger, and hadn't Jacob just been ready to kill me?

I lay my face against him, placing my ear over his heart, and listened to its staggered beat while my arms snuck around his waist. In an instant the floor was gone & I was swept up into his lap as he sat on my bed. I snuggled up against him and he leaned back against my pillows pulling me to lie alongside him. It felt like hours passed before he spoke.

"I still need an explanation, Bells," he sighed. "Nothing you've said makes any sense.

"Oh, Jacob," I whined. "I was so mad I don't even _know _what I said."

"You can start by telling me why you were so mad," he suggested.

Oh, no. It was embarrassing enough. Why did I have to _talk _about it? "What if you get mad again?"

"I won't get mad."

"You can't _know_ that."

"Bells, you've got three seconds to start talking or I swear I will phase---and I won't phase back until you start making sense. How do you plan on explaining to Charlie why there's a giant wolf in your room?" he threatened teasingly.

"Well, now that you mention it, he might handle that better than finding you in bed with me..."

"Please, Bella?" he whispered.

Ok, fine. "You got carried away when we kissed."

"I don't believe I was the only one," he smirked.

"Whatever," I half-conceded, with a blush, "but you _were_ hell-bent on undressing me."

"Obscene?" he guessed, and I nodded. "Taking advantage of you?" He earned another nod.

"I...I'm not used to that," I mumbled, tucking my chin. "I've never..." and my words abandoned me again.

"So you'd rather I do that to someone else?" he ventured. My head snapped up to see him grinning.

"Easy, Bells," he laughed. "I've waited too long for you. Do you honestly think I'd give you up now?"

I rested my cheek against his chest again.

"...just because you're too beautiful in a tank top?"

Why, oh why was I wearing tank top? I hid my face against his neck.

"...without a bra?"

"Jake!" I shrieked, slapping at him.

And then I was flat on my back again, Jacob hovering over me once more. I felt the blood rising in my face as his gaze swept over me, his eyes finally settling on mine.

"I love you. I'll stop the second you tell me to, Bells. Tell me where the line is, and I won't cross it. I promise," he whispered. "But don't think I don't want to."

_Oh, this is way too embarrassing_. But before I could turn a deeper shade of red, his mouth found mine, and I was lost. He was gentle, like I knew _my_ Jacob would be. His tongue parted my lips and I couldn't help but pull him to me. My fingers traced his shoulders, his chest, his stomach, and his whole body jerked. My hands settled on his hips, and I drew up one knee, raising my body against him. My eyes popped open in shock and I dropped back against the mattress. I could feel just how much he wanted to cross the line.

"Tell me when to stop, Bella," he breathed raggedly against my neck.

I relaxed immediately. He really wasn't going to go too far this time. _This _was what I wanted, the considerate Jacob who wasn't going to rush things. I yanked his mouth back to mine. His hands were gripping my waist, tangling in my hair, tracing my lips, slipping under fabric to skim over my stomach, but no further.

He paused to catch my gaze. His eyes were filled with lust-and overflowing with love. His lips grazed beneath my ear, down my neck. His heated breath burned a trail down my chest, through the thin fabric of my top, until his lips skimmed over my stomach. I gasped as his tongue slid along the skin over the top of my pants, and before I could protest he laughed.

He rolled to his side, pulling me to lie against him, as his chest shuddered with amusement. _What was so darned funny?_

"You're not very good at this, Bella," he remarked, and my confidence crumbled.

_Not good at this? How am I supposed to be __good_ _at this? _Until the other day I'd never even been kissed like that, much less anything else. Edward had always had to be so careful with me, stopping us the moment things got anywhere near heated. And before Edward there had been no one. I whipped my head up and stared at him, mortified, as the tears threatened to return.

He laughed again and gripped me in his trademark bear hug. I had to bite my lip to keep the tears back as he held me to him.

"Drawing lines, Bells," he explained. "You're not very good at drawing lines. That's going to be a problem considering how good you are at...everything else," he laughed.

"Oh," I whispered into his neck. I felt the corners of my mouth begin to turn up, and the tears retreated.

"And I don't mind running after you---not if _this_ is where we end up. But maybe we should talk, so we can avoid the yelling part next time?" he prodded.

"Ah. Okay" I mumbled. Wonderful. We were back to the embarrassing part.

He pushed himself off the pillows and turned me to face him. I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks. But he was right. Unless I wanted to invest in a lot of cough syrup, there was much more to be said.

His hand pressed my chin up, and his eyes were staring at me softly, intently, while a smile played across his lips. "The lines, Bells?"

"Clothes?" I ventured, dropping my eyes. "They should...stay on."

He was laughing at me again. "Ok, and...?

"And we _have _to slow down. I don't know how to explain it," I said, my voice getting higher with each word. There was nothing funny about this. Why was he still laughing? "That-the other day-it's too much. I can't do that! You can't be..._touching_ me like that."

He leaned too close then, and I could feel his breath on my ear as he hoarsely whispered, "That's going to be hard, Bells, especially since I can tell how much you want me to." His hand glided down my stomach, and an electric shock shot through me, downward...

"Then this has to stop!" I jerked away from him. "No more! You can just keep your hands to yourself and we'll go back to how things were. You may have turned into a grown man overnight, Jacob Black, but I'm still a teenager!" I was shrieking again and so close to tears I couldn't focus. "I'm not _used_ this! I've never--! No one has--! Dammit, Jake, get out of my room!"

"Take a cold shower, Bella," he laughed, before heading down the stairs.

I grabbed the door to slam it shut behind him when I heard Charlie's voice. "What's wrong with her?"

"Woke her up from a nap," replied Jacob. "You know women and their beauty sleep."

Charlie was laughing now, too. "Lucky you didn't get yourself killed."

"See you tonight, Bells!" Jacob called up the stairs.

Oh, no he wouldn't! I flew down the stairs in a rage. I was so mad I didn't even worry about tripping. "You most certainly will _not!" _I yelled at him.

He was standing in the open doorway about to leave. Charlie was perched in his usual spot on the sofa, remote in hand, chuckling and eyeing us with amusement. Jacob crossed the room in a split-second to stand over me, and I balled up my fists to hit him. My wrists were instantly caught, my back against the wall, arms pinned above my head. _Oh, no. Jacob's shaking again and Charlie's so close this time._

But it wasn't rage that was shaking him; it was laughter. His eyes were soft as his head bent toward me, and he was kissing me again. This time the kiss was light but lingering and I completely forgot how mad he made me.

"I'll be back for you at six," he said huskily.

"Bye, Charlie!" he called, and then he ducked out the door.

_Oh, no! Charlie! How had I forgotten he was there? _I snuck a sheepish glance his direction but he was staring straight at the TV, a giant grin plastered across his face. Of course he was smiling. The men in my life were conspiring against me.

"Ughhh!" I huffed, stomping back upstairs.

* * *


	8. Persistence: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR: PERSISTENCE  
(JPOV)**

I stood watch all night, leaving only when Sam called me back in the morning. Seth and Paul took my place, not that I trusted Seth to be of any use. He was too young, too new. But at least Paul could keep her safe. And I really needed sleep. Chasing Bella around and staying up all night guarding her from vampires was really starting to wear on me.

* * *

When I woke, it was past noon. I rolled over and immediately thought of Bella. I knew she was safe, but what I didn't know was what was going on with her. Ever since we'd kissed, she hadn't made any sense. All she had done was yell and cry.

But _she_ had been the one to kiss _me_. And there was no doubt in my mind that she had enjoyed every second of it. But then she'd run out of the house, gone out with the Newton kid-twice!-and kissed him. Well, she said he'd been the one to kiss her, but she'd gone out with him. And since that morning at my house, she'd ignored me. What was I supposed to make of that? Charlie had given me the perfect excuse. He's told me to find out what was wrong with her. I couldn't just ignore that, right?

I was at her house in less than five minutes.

* * *

As I expected, Charlie answered the door.

"Hey, Charlie. Is Bella here?"

"In her room. Go on up," he said before he turned and headed back to the TV. Nothing could distract Charlie from his sports.

He didn't have to tell me twice. I was up the stairs in a flash. Like the last time, her door was open, and her room was dark, but this time she was there, with the quilt thrown back and the sheets twisted around her legs.

I stood watching her for a minute. She was wearing loose cotton pajama pants and a tank top with little blue flowers printed on it. Even that was sexy. Her hair was spread out around her, slightly tangled. One arm was thrown up over her head, and her brow was creased. Her breath was coming in short gasps and tears were beginning to fall down her cheeks. She was having another nightmare.

I knelt down beside her and tried to shake her awake. Maybe if I could wake her, I could stop it---whatever it was that always made her scream---before it happened.

"Bella? Bells, honey, wake up."

Her eyelids moved and she groaned, rolling to her side away from me. She pulled her pillow over her head.

"Bella!" I shook her again. "Bells, please talk to me."

"Go away," she mumbled.

"Not until you talk to me." I wasn't going anywhere.

"No," she said from under the pillow.

"Last night...when I saw you kissing him..." I started. It wasn't what I had wanted to say, but it had just slipped out.

"_I _didn't kiss him. He _attacked_ me," she said as she raised the pillow up a little.

"I know."

"I'm done with boys. They're all stupid."

Well, she was definitely mad at me about something, but I wasn't giving up. "You kissed _me_, Bella."

"You're stupid, too."

I had to stifle a laugh. "You _liked_ kissing me, Bells."

"And you turned it into...into...something _obscene!" _she snapped, suddenly sounding very awake.

"That's crazy, Bella. I didn't--I wasn't--what the hell are you talking about?" Now I _really_ didn't understand.

She sat straight up, swaying a little, and started yelling. "You said you loved me. I trusted you, Jacob! _I trusted you!_"

I just looked at her, shocked, as she jumped out of bed and tears started streaming down her face. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I stood up and pulled her to me, hugging her tightly while she sobbed into my chest.

"Bella, please. Don't cry, honey. I'm sorry. Tell me what to do to fix this."

"Leave," she said between sobs. "I won't be taken advantage of. Go find someone else to...to feel up!"

Taken advantage of? What was she talking about? Did she think I had taken advantage of her? And what was this about feeling her up? Was that how she saw it? I'd barely touched her! And she'd wanted me to! From the way she'd responded to me, it was pretty clear she'd wanted a lot more than that! This was too much. I had to get away from her. I could barely contain my rage.

I pushed her away from me and crossed the room, facing the window she'd placed the bookcase in front of. I clenched my fists and tried to breathe deeply, slowly, evenly. No matter how mad I was, I did not want to phase here. I did not want to hurt Bella.

"Jacob?" she said timidly.

I turned to look at her and saw her cringe. I could only imagine what I must have looked like.

"Jacob, please calm down. We can talk," she said, her voice shaky.

"_Now_ you want to talk? Why? Because I _terrify_ you?" I was starting to lose it, but I couldn't help myself. Bella was infuriating.

I watched while she considered her position. She was probably trying to figure out how quickly she could run out the door. She took a step backward, and half fell, sitting on the bed. Her fear was written on her face, her mouth hanging open, her eyes filled with fright, her tears still flowing. I hated her for thinking I would hurt her. I hated myself even more for making her think that.

I took one long, deep breath to try to calm myself and walked toward her. I was standing over her, leaning down toward her. I wanted to say something reassuring, to be kind, but she cringed away.

Acid dripped from my voice. "I would have thought you braver than this, Bella. After all, I'm not the first monster you've been with!"

Then she did the last thing I would have expected. As I fought to control my fury, she placed her hand on my cheek. She was trembling as her thumb traced over my lips and she leaned toward me. If I moved at all, our lips would be touching. What was she doing? I could have killed her, at the very least hurt her badly, and her reaction was to move closer? All my anger dissipated and I tried to step back but she grabbed my hand.

"I could have hurt you, Bella," I whispered.

"But you didn't."

I grabbed her arms and pulled her to her feet, trying to see in her eyes what was going on in her head. She dropped her gaze, and laid her face on my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist. Finally. We back where we started. And I wasn't going to let her go this time.

I grabbed her up in my arms and sat on the bed, pulling her into my lap. She curled up against me, and I leaned back, pulling her with me. If I could have lay there like that with her forever, I would have. But I couldn't stand not knowing what had happened, what I had done to make her run away in the first place.

"I still need an explanation, Bells. Nothing you've said makes any sense.

"Oh, Jacob. I was so mad I don't even _know _what I said." She was so cute when she whined.

"You can start by telling me why you were so mad."

"What if you get mad again?" she asked.

"I won't get mad." I never wanted to see her afraid of me like that again.

"You can't _know_ that," she argued.

"Bells, you've got three seconds to start talking or I swear I will phase---and I won't phase back until you start making sense. How do you plan on explaining to Charlie why there's a giant wolf in your room?" I teased. I had to do something to lighten the mood.

"Well, now that you mention it, he might handle that better than finding you in bed with me..."

"Please, Bella?" I pleaded.

"You got carried away when we kissed," she whispered, almost shyly.

"I don't believe I was the only one," I said with a smile.

"Whatever. But you _were_ hell-bent on undressing me." She was blushing.

"Obscene?" I asked, and she nodded. "Taking advantage of you?" She nodded again.

"I...I'm not used to that," she said quietly, looking down. "I've never..."

"So you'd rather I do that to someone else?" I teased.

Her head snapped up and I grinned at her.

"Easy, Bells," I laughed. "I've waited too long for you. Do you honestly think I'd give you up now?"

She laid her head back on my chest

"...just because you're too beautiful in a tank top?"

She snuggled closer.

"...without a bra?"

"Jake!" she yelled, hitting my chest.

I rolled us over so that I was stretched out above her, careful to keep my weight off her. She was so beautiful, even in the little girl pajamas she insisted on wearing. The thin pants hung low on her hips, exposing her soft stomach. The tank top clung tightly, straining over her small breasts as... Why was she lying so still? I looked up to see a blush rising in her cheeks.

"I love you," I told her. "I'll stop the second you tell me to, Bells. Tell me where the line is, and I won't cross it. I promise," I whispered. "But don't think I don't want to."

And I kissed her like I'd wanted to do ever since she'd left my house. I pressed my tongue to her lips, and they parted for me. Her hands pulled at my shoulders and drifted over my chest. I couldn't control a shudder when she ran her fingers over my stomach. She pulled her leg up and arched against me then abruptly dropped away again. She was driving me crazy.

"Tell me when to stop, Bella," I breathed. She pulled me roughly back into a kiss and I fought keep control. Her body was moving with me, not pressed to mine, but brushing softly, almost imperceptibly against me. There was no hiding how much I wanted her. I couldn't stop touching her...her shoulders, her arms, her waist, her thighs. I slid my hand beneath her top and ran my fingers over her stomach. Would this be okay?

I stopped and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and easy to read. She loved me. She trusted me. I could see that. But there was something else. Trepidation. Did she want me to stop? She wasn't saying anything. I kissed down her neck, down the center of her chest, over her stomach, stopping at the hem of her pants.

Then it hit me, the same scent as before, too tempting to ignore. She wanted me. I slid my tongue along the milky skin just above the waist of her pants and heard her gasp.

I laughed, rolling back and pulling her back to my chest again. "You're not very good at this, Bella," I teased.

Her head snapped up, hurt in her eyes. Silly girl.

"Drawing lines, Bells. You're not very good at drawing lines. That's going to be a problem considering how good you are at...everything else," I explained.

"Oh," she said quietly into my neck.

"And I don't mind running after you---not if _this_ is where we end up. But maybe we should talk, so we can avoid the yelling part next time?" We hadn't really gotten anywhere when we'd tried to talk earlier. Well, we'd gotten somewhere, but not with words. And I really didn't want to risk losing her again.

"Ah. Okay," she said, sounding shy again.

I turned her to face me and saw she was blushing. She was quite the paradox, overcome by hormones one minute then overcome by shyness the next. It was incredibly cute.

I cupped her chin and raised her face to look at me. "The lines, Bells?"

"Clothes?" she said. "They should...stay on."

I smiled. "Okay, and...?

"And we _have _to slow down. I don't know how to explain it," she said, her voice getting higher and her words beginning to run together "That-the other day-it was too much. I can't do that! You can't be..._touching_ me like that."

She was too adorable. I leaned in close and whispered, "That's going to be hard, Bells, especially since I can tell how much you want me to." I placed a hand on her stomach and slid it downward, slowly, unable to refrain from teasing her just a bit. Shy Bella was fun to toy with.

"Then this has to stop!" she snapped, jerking away. "No more! You can just keep your hands to yourself and we'll go back to how things were. You may have turned into a grown man overnight, Jacob Black, but I'm still a teenager!"

Oh, crap. Now she was mad again. And it looked like the tears might come back. Why hadn't I learned my lesson?

"I'm not _used_ this! I've never--! No one has--! Dammit, Jake, get out of my room!"

"Take a cold shower, Bella," I laughed, as I left the room. I'd let her have time to cool down, but this time I wasn't going to make the same mistakes. This time she wasn't going to get away---or have a chance to see that Newton kid.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie asked when I got downstairs.

"Woke her up from a nap," I said. "You know women and their beauty sleep." Charlie would believe that.

"Lucky you didn't get yourself killed," he said, chuckling.

"See you tonight, Bells!" I yelled toward the stairs. I wondered how she'd react to _that_. Within half a second, I got my answer.

Bella came flying down the stairs, eyes flashing with anger, ready to kill someone.

"You most certainly will _not!" _she shrieked.

Yes, I would. I was in front of her in two steps, catching her fists before she could land a punch. I kissed her softly, and her ire lost its steam. "I'll be back for you at six" I whispered.

I yelled goodbye to Charlie as I headed out the door.

* * *


	9. Revelation: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE: REVELATION  
(Bella's POV)**

I'd been arguing with myself ever since Jacob left. I was furious with him...no, I was furious with myself. But I knew better than to sit at home by myself all night. Obviously I never should have kissed him. He was still a sixteen year old, even if he _did_ have the body of a grown man. The perfect muscular irresistible body of..._stop it!_ Just because I was attracted to him didn't mean we should be together. Things were so much easier when we were just friends.

His immaturity may very well have been why I had so much fun with him---until recently. Lately everything had just been a mixed-up disaster. I mentally outlined everything I needed to say to him and hoped tonight would be my chance. I would tell him that I loved him but that I was wrong to kiss him. I would make sure he understood how much he'd helped me, saved me really, but that I just couldn't have a _relationship_ with him. I couldn't handle the lack of control-_his_ lack of control. My lack of control, too, but I probably shouldn't mention that. I wanted my best friend back, the one who made me laugh and was always there for me, not this new person who was just all over me--and laughing _at_ me. He'd be upset at first, but he'd forgive me, right?

We would talk when he came to pick me up. He probably wouldn't want me to go with him after that. But if he did, at least I'd know he wouldn't have the wrong idea.

Jacob hadn't told me what we were doing, but I suspected we were going to the bonfire Embry had mentioned. I stood at my closet door, not sure what I was supposed to wear. It's not like there was a bonfire dress code, but since I'd be with Jacob, there were probably some outfits I should avoid. I grabbed a tank top, but after this afternoon, I layered it under a warm black flannel shirt I'd swiped from Charlie---and I buttoned it right up to the collar. On top of some baggy old jeans and boots, I considered it a job well done. I could have lost or gained twenty pounds in that shapeless outfit, and it would have been impossible to tell.

On an even brighter note, it's not like we would be alone. The whole pack was sure to be there, and I doubted Sam or any of the elders who happened to be in attendance would think it appropriate if Jacob tried for a repeat performance. They didn't know it, but I was counting on the pack to protect me not only from Victoria, but now Jacob as well. I couldn't contain my smile as I thought of Sam putting Jacob in his place..._Oh no! The pack! _

Ughhh! Why hadn't I thought of that before? If Jacob had changed into his wolf form at any time recently---and he probably _had_---they would all know every detail of what happened. Embry had already been laughing at me. Now they all would. What was I _thinking_, kissing a werewolf? They could hear each others thoughts! Could they _see_ each others thoughts, too? I sat down on the floor with a thud. I couldn't even be mad, now. I just wanted to hide. A bunch of horny, immature teenage boys were probably witnessing my private moments with Jake right now.

"Bella, Jake's here!" Charlie called up the stairway.

I couldn't do this. Not now. Not with everyone knowing. I raised up enough to reach the doorknob and turned the lock. I was never leaving my room. Ever.

"Bella?" Charlie was standing outside my door now. He knocked, then tried to open it.

_At least the lock works_, I thought.

"Bella, open the door."

"No."

"Bella, are you okay? What are you doing in there?"

"I'm fine, Dad," I lied. "And I'm not doing anything. Can you just tell Jacob I'm not going?" His footsteps echoed down the stairs, and I heard voices below, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I hoped Jacob would just listen to Charlie and leave.

I should have known better. Someone was coming up the stairs again, and I knew my luck better than to think it was Charlie.

"Bella?" _That_ wasn't Jacob's voice. Or Charlie's. What was Emily doing here? "Bella, please open the door. The men have gone outside. It's just me. Can we talk?"

Emily hadn't done anything to me. Refusing her would just be rude. I leaned over and unlocked the door. She looked a little startled to see me sitting in the middle of the floor, but she didn't comment on my choice of seating as she turned to lock the door behind her.

"How long are you planning on staying in here?"

I shrugged.

"You want to talk about it?" she asked, lowering to the floor beside me.

"I don't have anything to talk about," I mumbled.

"Of course you don't," she teased. "I'm sure you always sit on the floor, barricaded in your room, looking like you're about to cry."

"I am not about to cry," I insisted. Crying was all I had done lately, and I was through with that. If I was going to be shedding any tears, it certainly wasn't going to be over a boy.

She put her arm around me. "You know the pack doesn't have secrets, don't you? And you know they don't have any choice in that, right?"

"I wish they did," I said, unable to look her in the eye.

"Sam's worried about you."

"Sam? What---why is _Sam_ worried?" I asked. Sam hated me. Okay, he didn't hate me, but he didn't like me much. He only put up with me because Jacob wouldn't leave me alone. Plus I had information about Victoria. I was gaping at Emily like she'd suddenly sprouted horns and a tail.

"Because you're very upset, and you have every right to be. Jacob is an idiot," she explained, almost laughing at that last part.

"So I guess he '_heard.'_"

"He wasn't _trying_ to, Bella, but Jake's always thinking about you. You have to talk to him. You can't hide in your room forever." A sympathetic smile crept across the un-damaged side of her face.

"I've _tried_ to talk to him, but he's impossible!" I insisted.

"That's the problem with men---especially werewolves," she laughed. "They're terrible listeners. Sam is the worst," she admitted. "But I asked him to talk to Jake about this."

"Sam talked to Jacob about me?" I whined. "No!"

"Oh, Bella," she chided. "It's no wonder you & Jake need a mediator. Look, Sam told me what he 'heard' and I believe I know what's going on."

"_I_ don't even know what's going on," I countered. "But I do know it has to stop."

"You were pretty messed up about that vampire." She was looking at me with something close to pity.

_Great. I'm pathetic now, too._

"You know Sam's the one who found you in the woods, and he hated seeing you like that. And we all know how desperate Charlie was when you didn't bounce back. I know it took you forever to get...to a good place. And Jake's been there for you?"

She paused to gauge my reaction, and I tried to keep a blank face.

"And now Jake's so happy and in love he can't think straight. Has he been...pushing things a bit further than you're comfortable with?"

I quickly dropped my eyes to stare at the floor.

"Bella, I think you're more _inexperienced _than Jake realizes."

My mouth was hanging open. Okay, _this_ was truly humiliating.

"You're what? Eighteen?"

"Yes"

"How many boyfriends have you had, Bella?"

"One." _Where is she going with this?_

"The vampire?"

I nodded.

"Aside from him, there's been no one else...ah...close?"

I shook my head.

"You're a hell of a lot smarter than the eighteen-year-olds I know," she mused. "And since he was a vampire, I'm guessing there wasn't much... Well, things were pretty limited, weren't they?"

Another nod. I _really_ didn't feel comfortable talking about it.

"That's what I thought. And that's exactly what I told Sam."

Ok, my mouth was hanging open again.

"Don't look so shocked, Bella. Sam's a good man, and he looks out for his pack. Jake's a mess when you're upset with him, and it's not good for his brothers. Lately he's been a wreck, and it's making things difficult for everyone."

"That's not _my_ fault," I muttered.

"Well, it's driving the rest of the pack nuts. We all know how Jake loves you, and he shouldn't be left to screw it up just because he doesn't know any better. Sam set him straight, though. Now that he understands why you're so upset, he'll be much easier to talk to."

"It's really not like that, Emily. I'm not _naïve. _I _know _what...goes on, and it's not like I have a problem with it. I'm just not...quite ready for all that...with Jacob."

"Exactly."

"Sam didn't tell Jake I'm..? He didn't make it seem like I'm..? Ughhh! I'm not a child! _Please, please_ tell me Sam didn't say something to embarrass me," I whined. "Jacob and I are supposed to be friends. Nothing more. I just need to explain that to him, and everything will be okay again."

She looked disappointed, but she smiled. "No one's laughing at you, Bella. And if that's how you really feel about Jake, I suppose you should tell him that. But you'll have to unlock your door first."

I wanted to be mad at her for dragging Sam into this, for talking to Jake about things that were private. But she smiled at me so warmly that I couldn't.

"Believe me, Bella, I've been there. I'm not going to give you some talk about love and lust and all that goes with it. But I know your mom's not here, and I can't imagine the chief of police and a pack of wolves are very easy to confide in. You're in on our little secret, so that makes you one of us, even if you and Jake _are_ just friends. Unlike the guys, I am perfectly capable of keeping secrets, even from Sam if you want. So if you ever need to talk-"

I cut her off with a hug. I still didn't want to face the pack, but I had to give Emily credit. I wasn't crying anymore. Plus, I was considering unlocking my door sometime within the next month or two.

"Ok, Bella, about this bonfire...I asked the guys to wait in the truck, but if I know Sam, he and Jake have already left ahead of us. So it's just you and me. Unless you don't want to go?" she asked.

"I don't know, Emily..."

"It would mean a lot to Jake. He's feeling pretty guilty right now---and _really_ stupid---and he at least needs to know you're ok. You're not going to resolve this unless you talk to him. And I wouldn't mind your keeping me company on the drive out there," she said with a grin.

"Okay, I guess." It was impossible to argue with her when she was being so kind. And I _did _still need to talk to Jacob. I had to make him understand it was all a mistake, that we were friends. _Only_ friends. "But if I want to leave?"

"I'll take you home the second you want out," she assured me. "Now about this outfit..."

* * *


	10. Revelation: Jacob's POV

*****If you haven't already done so, read the short companion story WISDOM before you read this chapter. Sam and Emily are about to have a talk with Jacob, and you'll definitely want to see how they got there.***  
**_I'm assuming you all know to just go to my profile for the link..._

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE: REVELATION  
(Jacob's POV)**

Sam and Emily showed up at my house at five thirty. Emily went straight to the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess Billy had made earlier. Sam pulled me into my room and shut the door.

"Jake, we need to talk."

I almost laughed. That was the kind of thing I expected Bella to say, not Sam. "Okay, talk," I said.

"It's about Bella."

That got my attention. "What about her?" I asked, suddenly worried.

"Emily thinks you need some advice. And I think she's right."

"Okay..." I said uncertainly, dropping to sit on the bed. _This should be interesting._

"Things with you and Bella have been kind of...volatile...since the other day, and it hasn't been good for you. It hasn't been good for any of us."

"I know that, Sam, but it's not a problem anymore," I explained quickly. "We talked today, and I think it's all worked out. There's really nothing to worry about."

"So she told you?" he asked.

"Told me what?"

"That she's... Damn, I wish Emily was the one doing this." He looked uncomfortable.

"That she's what, Sam?" I was starting to get worried again.

"Look, Jake, I can't have you distracted all the time. And I told Emily what's been going on with you. She thinks the reason Bella keeps reacting the way she does, getting so mad at you, is because you're moving too fast for her."

"What do you mean _too fast_?" I asked suspiciously.

"You have to understand that I could only describe what I saw through your thoughts, Jake. And I only told Emily because I didn't understand it myself. And if someone doesn't help you out, I might have to kill you," he said with a wry smile.

"Just spit it out, Sam," I said, my impatience showing.

"I don't like talking about this, Jake. It's really none of my business. But as long as you insist on seeing her... Look, Emily thinks Bella's a virgin. She's probably never done half of the things you're trying---or thinking about trying---with her. Emily says that's what's freaking her out."

If I hadn't been so shocked at the words he'd just said, I'd have found the discomfort in his expression thoroughly entertaining. Instead, I was staring at him like he'd just spoken to me in some foreign language.

"Jake?"

"But...she's eighteen! And I know I'm not the first guy she's dated!" I'd be thrilled if Bella had never slept with anyone, but I couldn't believe she was _that_ innocent. I had sisters, and they'd had _plenty_ of experience by the time they were my age. Bella just didn't want to rush things...right?

"How many guys do you know about?"

"Just the bloodsucker. But Sam, you _know_ how she---you _know_ I didn't do anything she didn't want!" I insisted. "I stopped when she said to, and I didn't try _anything_ today!" He _had_ to be wrong.

"No one's accusing you of anything, Jake. Emily's just saying...Hell, _I'm_ just saying that Bella's not used to this. Whatever it seems like she wants, she's not ready for it. Just try to go at her pace---don't let yourself get caught up in the moment." He gave an exasperated sigh. "And if you need more advice, talk to Emily. She's a hell of a lot better at this than I am."

I was still sitting there in shock when he called Emily into my room.

"You okay, Jake?" she asked with concern.

"No." How could I be?

"Leave us for a minute, Sam," Emily said, and she waited until he'd shut the door then sat down beside me. "It's not as bad as you think."

I couldn't say anything. I just shook my head.

"Is she coming to the bonfire with you tonight?"

"I _think_ so. I told her I'd pick her up," I said, not wanting to admit that she'd never actually said she'd come with me.

"She obviously loves you or she wouldn't have put up with you this long," she laughed. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"What if she doesn't want to see me?"

"What if I go with you to pick her up?"

"Why didn't she say anything to me?" I asked, not really expecting an answer. Then I remembered. She _had_ said something. Not in so many words, but she'd still said it. I was just too busy teasing her to pay attention. Bella was right. I _was _stupid.

"Get your butt in the truck, Jake, or we're going to be late to pick her up."

________________________________________________________

Charlie expected me, but he looked a little surprised that I had Emily and Sam with me. Fortunately, he was good enough not to stare at Emily.

"Bella, Jake's here!" he called up the stairway.

We heard movement upstairs, but after a minute or two of no answer and no Bella, Charlie went up after her.

"Bella?" I heard him say. "Bella, open the door."

She'd locked him out? I should have expected as much. I shot Emily a panicked look.

"Don't worry," she said.

"Bella, are you okay? What are you doing in there?" Charlie was trying to coax Bella out of her room. She wasn't coming.

He gave up quickly and came back downstairs. "I'm sorry. She says she's not going," he told us, looking uncomfortable.

"Do you mind if I talk to her, Charlie?" asked Emily.

"You'll probably have to do it through a locked door, but be my guest."

"Thanks. Sam, Jake, do you mind waiting in the truck?" Emily asked as she headed up the stairs.

Charlie shrugged at us apologetically and headed back into the living room. We went outside.

"Let's go," said Sam.

"I thought we were supposed to wait in the truck."

"No, this is girl time. And I've had enough of that for one day," he said, scowling. He phased and I followed.

We didn't run, and we didn't head straight to the bonfire. I didn't bother wondering why, either. I just used the time to get my head together. I didn't even care that Sam could hear all my thoughts.

When Bella had screamed at Charlie about an oversexed boy, she had been talking about _me_. At least I had stopped when she'd asked me to. I hadn't even hesitated. And though I'd teased her a little about it, I hadn't pushed any further this last time. Maybe she would realize that and forgive me. Bella knew I would never mean to hurt her, right? She _had_ to know that. We'd been friends for so long, and I'd never knowingly pushed her into anything. Except maybe into her room behind a locked door.

My stomach was in knots. How was I supposed to fix this? _Sorry, Bells, I thought you were easy_, didn't seem like such a good idea. And it wasn't true either. I'd just assumed she was like every other girl I knew. But I should have known better. Bella wasn't like anyone I'd ever known. Why should this be any different?

I just had to focus on the positives. Emily was with her now, and if anyone could fix the mess I'd made, it was her. She was a girl, she understood these things, and she could probably explain it better to Bella than I could. All I needed to do was apologize. A lot. Probably every day for the rest of my life.

And it was probably selfish of me, but I liked knowing that she was all mine, that she hadn't _really _been with anyone. Even if she made me keep my hands to myself from now on. And maybe later, much later, she'd consider redrawing those lines a little. That thought alone nearly brought me out of my depression.

Before I realized it, we were at Sam & Emily's house, the bonfire burning brightly in the backyard and Sam's truck parked near the back door. Emily was here. I could only pray that Bella was with her.

* * *


	11. Surrender: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: SURRENDER  
(Bella's POV)**

"So tell me about Arizona," Emily prodded. "I can't imagine living somewhere with no rain!"

We were on our way to the bonfire in La Push, and I was beginning to feel a lot better. Jacob would be waiting for me, I knew, but I wasn't scared of facing him. I was a little nervous about facing the rest of the pack, since they obviously knew every detail about us, but Emily had assured me that they were all used to knowing way too much, and they wouldn't make a big deal of it. I was embarrassed enough about what they must know of _my_ time with Jacob. I couldn't imagine what it must be like for Emily since she and Sam were clearly living together. Either it didn't bother her at all, or she was really good at hiding it. I got the feeling she just accepted it as part of life with her werewolf.

She'd convinced me to change before we left. Well, not change completely, but she got me to ditch the shapeless look I had going. The flannel shirt was too comfortable and warm to give up, so we agreed to leave it unbuttoned. It didn't reveal much of the tank top underneath, so I didn't argue. But apparently the ratty old jeans had to go. We settled on another pair, equally baggy, but a decidedly better cut. The boots were unnecessary, too, as I wasn't going to be doing any hiking, so she tossed a pair of slip-on sneakers at me, and we were good to go. I was happy that I was completely covered, and she was happy that I wasn't dressed like a man.

I told her everything I could think of about my old home in Phoenix: the dry air, the constant sunlight, the open deserts. She was fascinated by the weather, but what she really liked were my stories about Renee. By the time we got to the party, we were laughing about the time Renee reported her car stolen because she'd forgotten where she parked at the mall.

I'd assumed we would be at the beach, but apparently this bonfire was being held in her backyard. She drove around and parked near the back door as I my eyes searched the crowd around the fire for Jacob.

"Don't worry, Bella. If they're not here yet, they will be soon." I guess my anxiety was obvious. "Let's go inside and you can help me in the kitchen. Unless you were looking for someone other than Jake?" she teased.

Definitely not. I followed her inside, and we threw ourselves into the finishing touches on enough food for an army. If we were lucky, it might just be enough for the enormous boys who made up the pack. We were practically in hysterics over my latest Renee story when I heard the door open. Emily stopped laughing, and I turned around to see Sam walk in, followed by Jacob.

"Sam, help me take all this out," she said quickly, turning around at the door to wink at me.

I spun back around to pull the bread out of the oven, suddenly not sure if I could face him, and I heard the door close again. Had Jacob walked back outside with them? Would I ever get up the nerve to turn around and see if he was still there? I set the bread on the counter and slowly exhaled. How long had I been holding my breath? Then he was there. I could feel him---rather, his astonishing warmth---right behind me. I turned the oven off and waited.

"Bella?" he whispered.

What was I supposed to say? I turned around, staring at the floor. _I don't know if I can do this..._

"Sam told me...he said Emily thinks..." he started, trailing off quietly.

At least I wasn't the only one having a hard time with this.

"Bella, I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't...I should have...Tell me how to fix this_" _he begged.

I wanted to look at him, but my eyes weren't cooperating. I brought my gaze up slightly, but I was frozen there. Then I couldn't help but smile, even if it was weak.

"You're wearing a shirt," I marveled. I didn't think I'd ever seen Jacob dressed like this before. It was a dark, long-sleeved, button-up shirt, the kind Charlie wore when he had to look nice but didn't feel like dressing up. It wasn't tight at all, but there was no mistaking the shape of all those muscles beneath it, and he'd left it untucked. The sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, and the top few buttons were undone, revealing dark copper skin beneath. Jacob looked all grown up. Then again, I guess he was now.

"And you're wearing two," he countered, snapping me back to the moment.

"I'm not as warm as you are," I answered faintly.

"You have to forgive me, Bells."

_So much for small-talk._

"You _have_ to," he pleaded.

"I don't know what Sam told you, but it's not... I'm not mad anymore, Jake. I just think..." I trailed off, looking up at him. What _did _I think? It was hard to remember when he was right there, so close to me. We _should_ just be friends. I _knew_ that. But when I looked at him, when I saw everything his eyes were saying, I couldn't _believe_ that.

"Do you still want...?" _Stupid words. They were never there when I needed them._

"More than anything," he whispered.

His eyes were so soft, so sad. He looked guilt-ridden and miserable and scared. And so beautiful. I stepped forward and laid my head against his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. His heartbeat thundered in my ear and I felt his arms hesitantly close around me. It felt like home.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" he asked after a moment, his voice shaking.

"On one condition," I replied.

"Anything."

I raised my head to look into his sad eyes again and placed my hand on his face.

"Kiss me," I said, almost too quietly.

His face lowered slowly toward mine, his eyes filled with uncertainty. This kiss was tender and better than I could have imagined. His lips were soft and warm, his mouth gently pressed to mine. My hands glided over his chest----it was so odd to touch fabric there instead of bare skin---and around his neck. He was unbelievably tender..and hesitant. I traced his lower lip with my tongue and his hesitation faded. Finally. The taste of him filled my mouth, and I slid my arms around him, pulling myself to him. Maybe I was making another huge mistake, but would a mistake feel like this? He caught my lip between his teeth and I gasped.

He froze for a second. I moved closer, and his hands clutched my waist, pulling me to him. My head was swimming and heat surged through my veins. I slid my hand under the back of his shirt and shuddered at the smooth warmth at my fingertips. I couldn't believe how quickly I'd changed my mind...but it felt right. _He _felt right.

"So _now_ am I forgiven?" he breathed against my lips.

"I'll have to think about it," I teased, brushing my lips down where his chest peeked out of his shirt.

"Okay, you two, enough! I'm starving!" Embry announced as he grabbed a platter off the counter. Jared and Paul were on his heels, quickly disappearing out the door with all that was left.

"I guess we should join them?" Jacob asked.

"Do we have to?"

"I think so," he replied with a smile. "Emily would kill me if I crossed any lines in her kitchen."

* * *


	12. Surrender: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SIX: SURRENDER  
(Jacob's POV)**

They weren't outside, so they had to be in the kitchen. I stopped just outside the back door, afraid to go in. What if Emily hadn't been able to convince her? What if she hadn't come? Sam could sense my fear.

"She's in there, Jake. Trust me."

I took a deep breath and followed Sam inside.

They were laughing when we walked in. Emily was facing us, and she stopped laughing when she saw us. Bella had her back to us but she turned around when Emily quieted. When she saw me she just stared, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Sam, help me take all this out," said Emily, and in an instant, they had left us.

Bella spun back around to face the other way. _She's still mad at me. Maybe now's not the time to talk._ But surely she wouldn't have come if she wasn't ready to talk to me.

She took something out of the oven and set it on the counter, then just stood there with her back to me. She wasn't going to turn around. I walked up behind her, not sure what to do. I wanted to hold her, but I was afraid to touch her. Touching her had gotten me into enough trouble already.

"Bella?" I said quietly.

She turned around, her eyes to the ground. At least she was facing my direction, even if she wouldn't look at me. I had to go on before I lost my nerve.

"Sam told me...he said Emily thinks..." I felt like an idiot. I didn't know what to say, or how to say it, but in the end it really didn't matter. All that mattered was how sorry I was. "Bella, I'm _so_ sorry. I didn't---I should have---Tell me how to fix this._"_

She raised her head a little, but she still didn't really look at me, and I braced myself for the worst. _This is it. I blew my chance. What if she doesn't even want to be friends anymore?_

Then she said, "You're wearing a shirt."

If I hadn't been so scared of losing her, I would have laughed. Leave it to Bella to say something so random when the whole world was falling apart.

"And you're wearing two," I said, going along with her odd train of thought.

"I'm not as warm as you are."

I couldn't hold it back any longer. "You have to forgive me, Bells. You _have_ to." It sounded like I was begging, and I couldn't help it. I was.

"I don't know what Sam told you, but it's not... I'm not mad anymore, Jake. I just think..." She paused and looked up at me.

I was afraid to say anything. She looked confused for a second, like she was searching for something. Then something indefinable in her expression changed.

"Do you still want...?"

"More than anything," I whispered, not caring what I'd just agreed to. When it came to Bella, it didn't matter what the question was. I just _wanted_.

She looked so lost and vulnerable. I wanted so badly to sweep her into my arms and never let her go, but I was still afraid to touch her. I held my breath as she stepped forward and lay her head against my chest. Her hands crept around my waist and I slowly wrapped my arms around her.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" I asked, waiting for the answer that it seemed my entire existence hinged upon.

"On one condition," she said.

"Anything."

She looked up and placed one small hand on my cheek.

"Kiss me."

If she only knew how terrifying that condition was. I wanted to kiss her. I _needed_ to kiss her. But I didn't want to do anything wrong. I kissed her gently but with all the love I had. I felt her hands roam up my chest, then around my neck, and I began to relax. Her tongue slid over my lip and I deepened the kiss, breathing her in, tasting her. She pressed closer, and I nipped at her lip. She gasped.

_Oh, God. Too much. I've done it again, _I thought.

But before I could back away she pressed closer, throwing herself into the kiss. I grabbed her waist and closed the space between us as her hands slipped under the back of my shirt. Sam's warning sounded in my head and I forced myself to pause. _Don't screw this up!_

"So _now_ am I forgiven?" I said, my lips still touching hers.

"I'll have to think about it," she said.

"Okay, you two, enough! I'm starving," Embry announced, busting through the door. I was going to have to talk to him about his timing. Jared and Paul were right behind him, grabbing some food and then leaving again.

"I guess we should join them?" I said.

"Do we have to?" She sounded disappointed.

I had to smile. "I think so. Emily would kill me if I crossed any lines in her kitchen."

* * *


	13. Reassurance: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN: REASSURANCE  
(Bella's POV)**

I was probably holding Jacob's hand a little too tightly as we walked out to join the others around the fire, but if he noticed, he didn't say anything. Emily was laughing, flitting between guests and glancing back every so often at Sam, who was leaning against a tree just beyond the flickering firelight, eyes only on her.

The rest of the pack was grouped to one side of the fire, talking loudly and occasionally throwing things at each other. _Boys will be boys. Or wolves._ Billy had parked himself beside them; plate perched on his lap, clearly enjoying the food. Rachel, Jacob's older sister, had come to visit, and she waved at us when we walked out, eyeing our clasped hands. Her copper skin glowed against the fire as she spoke softly to a group of girls I didn't know. The occasional giggle floated above them as they snuck frequent glances at the boys. I wondered if they had any idea just how extraordinary those boys were.

"Bella!" Emily was calling me.

"Go on," said Jacob, brushing his lips across my forehead and releasing my hand. He walked over to join the pack. I stared after him, marveling at his enormous stature, then turned to Emily and gave a timid smile as she approached.

"I take it you're feeling better?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Then come on," she said, tugging at my hand. "It's a party---enjoy yourself!" She led me over to a rustic looking bench at the edge of the fire's glow and we sat down.

"Don't be so nervous," she chided, playfully elbowing my side. "No one's staring at you---except Jake," she giggled. Jake was sitting in the ground and leaning back against a giant log, his long legs sprawled out toward the fire. He was watching me with soft dark eyes. Embry was facing him and gesturing wildly as he talked. Jacob nodded occasionally, but his eyes didn't leave me. Embry looked over his shoulder and, upon seeing me, rolled his eyes. He grinned broadly at me before turning back and punching Jacob's shoulder. The force behind his fist would probably put anyone else in a coma, but Jacob just shrugged him off, laughing.

I was beginning to relax. Jacob and I still needed to talk about some things, I knew, but it was hard not to enjoy myself in Emily's company. I hardly noticed the scars that mangled half her expression as she began pointing out the guests I didn't know.

"The one over there is Isaiah," she started, nodding toward a man standing with Sam.

"Is he a...you know?" I asked, not sure if I should mention the werewolf thing.

"No, just lucky. It's hard to believe he's only nineteen," she laughed. "His whole family is just as gorgeous as he is. He came with his sister, Maria, probably to keep an eye on her. But I think he's too busy eyeing you instead. Too bad you and Jake worked things out..." she teased. He was tall and muscular, almost like the wolves, but he didn't have that rough-around-the-edges quality that they did. He smiled, flashing perfect teeth, and waved at us. I smiled politely and Emily waved back.

"That's Clay," she said, indicating a lanky older man who was animatedly talking with Billy. He's from a tribe north of here, but all the women there have tired of his tomcatting, so he's been trying to work his charms on a few of ours. No one has the heart to tell him his reputation preceded him."

"And that's his daughter Meg." She pointed at one of the girls sitting with Rachel. "I think she has a thing for Embry," she laughed, as Meg tossed her ebony hair away from her face and snuck another glance toward the boys. "She'd probably have better luck with him if she hadn't brought a bunch of other girls with her!"

"The two younger ones are Ellie and Julia," she continued. They couldn't have been more than thirteen or fourteen, but they were awkwardly trying to appear older. Jared glanced over in their direction and they both sat up straighter. One of the girls leaned over to whisper to the other, pretending not to notice when the wide neck of her blouse slipped down her shoulder.

"That one with the shorter hair is Laura," Emily stated, pointing to a girl about my age. Laura was the one Paul liked, and I could see why. Her straight hair was cut to sweep just below her ears, and it shimmered in the firelight. Her large eyes were framed by thick black lashes, and when she smiled it was blinding. She had a kindness in her expression that made me instantly like her.

Just then the girl sitting next to Laura laughed and stood up. Now, _she_ was breathtaking. I was instantly envious...and mesmerized. She walked smoothly, like flowing water, toward the wolves. Her hips swayed gently as her bare feet glided over the grass. Her long jet hair rippled across her back and over her shoulders. She was a midnight version of Rosalie, with a figure that put every woman around her to shame. Everything about her was perfect, from her pouting lips to her svelte waistline. She was wearing a long flowing skirt, slung low over her hips, exposing her bronze, perfectly sculpted middle. The hem wove fluidly about her slender ankles as she moved. A white blouse hugged tightly at her waist, swelling over her breasts, the tops of which peeked out over the low neckline, and the sleeves were swept off her shoulders, revealing smooth glowing skin. She was the kind of woman poets immortalized. _This must be Maria, _I thought, praying that the stabbing pain in my chest would kill me quickly.

I tore my eyes from her and saw exactly what I expected. Every male in the group was captivated by her. Clay was practically panting, never mind that he was far too old for her. The wolves were enthralled, drinking in her every movement. Even Billy had dropped his fork, unable to take his eyes off her. A group of younger boys that had been playing at the edge of the woods stopped their revelry and stared. _Are they even old enough to like girls? _Jacob was pretending not to notice, of course, as she slipped over to sit beside him, laying one perfect hand on his knee. She turned her luminous almond-shaped eyes to him, and smiled.

My throat constricted. I choked back a gasp and dropped my eyes to the ground, wishing it would just swallow me up before the hole in my chest ripped open again.

"He's loves _you, _you know," came Sam's low voice.

_When did he sat down next to me? And why is he being nice? _"I know that," I hissed, but there was no conviction in my tone.

"I don't think you do," he countered. "But if you could see inside his head like we can..." He was still talking, but his words were lost beneath the pain thundering through my mind.

I wanted to argue with him, but I was too busy trying to figure out how to curl up in a ball and disappear without anyone noticing. Not that they _would_ notice. Not with _her_ there. Why did Man-Eating Barbie have to want my boyfriend? Could I even call him that? We'd only been together, mostly fighting, for such a short time. We hadn't had a chance to talk things through, hadn't even discussed a relationship, so for all I knew, we weren't even in one. _He should have just let me drown there below the cliffs._

"Bella!" Jacob was calling me. I looked up to see his eyes were...puzzled? Emily nudged me, and I stood up, walking slowly to him.

I tripped twice on the way--over nothing, of course, but I wasn't lucky enough to land in the fire and end my misery. When I reached him, he smiled and offered his hand--- I took it weakly. He jerked me down so quickly I could barely contain a shriek. But he caught me before I could hit the ground and sat me down gently between his legs. He pulled me to lean back against him, his arms wrapping around my chest, and his lips grazed my ear.

"I've missed you," he breathed. "You were with Emily so long I think Isaiah was getting the impression you're available."

_I guess that answers the boyfriend question. _I peeked across the fire at Isaiah, and his smile was gone. He nodded curtly then walked over and began talking with Sam.

_Is Jacob jealous? _I tucked my face down to hide a smile and placed my hand on his leg, my thumb absently tracing circles, as I wondered about that. Maria's hand was gone, too, I noticed. I sighed contentedly and relaxed against Jacob. His lips skimmed over the back of my my neck then nipped at my ear. His arms dropped to my waist and one large hand slipped up just under the edge of my shirt, exquisite warmth trailing across my stomach. I gasped and wiggled against him. His hand on my stomach pressed hard, and he yanked my hips back against him.

"Bella!" he growled. "If you can't control yourself..."

I started to giggle before I realized what had happened. Blood rushed into my cheeks as understanding dawned, and I shifted forward a little. It was a good thing no one could see what had been pressed against my back.

"I'm sorry Maria," I heard him say, snapping me out of the moment. "I don't believe you two have met. This is my Bella."

_My_ Bella, he'd said. _Was _I his? Had I stopped being Edward's?

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to meet you," she said too sweetly. Her bright smile did not extend to her eyes as she looked at me with curiosity. Before I could respond, she rose quickly to her feet and walked off to rejoin the girls.

"I don't think she likes you," Jacob laughed.

"She seems to like _you_ well enough," I responded glumly.

He turned me sideways to look at him but didn't release his tight grasp. "I guess that explains the tortured look you had over there. Jealous?" he asked, grinning.

"Nope," I teased. "I'm sure Isaiah wouldn't mind keeping me company if you're too preoccupied."

"Oh, I'll show you preoccupied..." he smirked. He mouth found mine, his tongue parting my lips, while his fingers traced lightly over my stomach. Fire shot through my core. My heart sped wildly and a low whimper escaped my throat. I was gasping for air when he ended the kiss, a smug grin on his face.

"That's not fair," I whined.

Jacob was beaming. "Careful, Bells," he teased. "I could show you 'not fair,' too, but I'm pretty sure Sam would come unglued."

_Oh, no! Sam! _A deep blush burned my cheeks as I remembered how _not _alone we were. I sheepishly turned to see what kind of audience we had. Jacob just laughed and hugged me close.

The younger girls were whispering excitedly and stealing glances at us. I felt a twinge of shame as I thought about how completely inappropriate our little display had been. The older girls were another story altogether. Rachel was gaping at us, shocked. Laura looked envious, probably wishing it were her and Paul instead of Jacob and me. Maria didn't look our way at all. I almost felt sorry for her...but not quite. With her looks, she could easily attract any number of boys--men even!--and I was still mad at her for going after mine.

I peeked over at the pack. Paul was laughing openly, and I had the feeling Jacob would never hear the end of his teasing. Jared was a little less obvious, but his hand over his mouth couldn't entirely suppress his snickering. Embry was grinning mischievously and had no problem looking me straight in the eye. I turned away from him quickly.

Billy had his head down, still eating, but an odd smile played on his lips. I was a little surprised at first, but then I realized he probably didn't have any interest in "protecting" Jacob from girls. It would have been an entirely different story if it had been Charlie sitting there.

Isaiah was ignoring us. I guess Jacob had staked his claim pretty clearly because it looked like whatever interest Isaiah had in me was history. Then there was Sam. He was staring at us intently, his mouth pressed into a tight line. I cringed and felt Jacob shift, his arms tightening around me. Emily was looking at me with concern. When I met her eyes, she paused for a second and stared hard at me, like she was trying to read something. I instinctively tried to press closer to Jacob but there was no room left between us. Suddenly Emily's expression smoothed and she smiled. She turned back to Sam, speaking quickly in a hushed tone, and he relaxed a little. I looked back at Jacob and was surprised to find I couldn't read his expression.

"You okay, Bells?" he asked.

"Um hmm," I murmured, moving to snuggle my face against his neck. His hand moved slowly up and down my back, and I closed my eyes for a moment. We probably still needed to talk about some things, but it was getting late, and my day had been more than a little eventful. I didn't have the energy left to deal with anything else, and I just wanted to enjoy being with Jacob. It had been way too long since I'd felt truly happy.

* * *


	14. Reassurance: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVEN: REASSURANCE  
(Jacob's POV)**

I took Bella's hand and led her outside. As we got closer to the fire, her grip on my hand tightened, and I looked down at her. She was nervous, and I guess I couldn't blame her. She _was_ hanging out with a pack of wolves.

"Bella!" Emily called.

I didn't want to part with her. I'd just gotten her back. But Bella wasn't a crowd kind of person, and I knew Emily would probably help her feel more at home. I kissed her on the forehead and said "Go on." She flashed a sweet smile before I turned to join my brothers.

I sat down on the ground, leaning against a log and watched Bella. She was sitting on a bench with Emily, and she was watching me, a shy smile playing about her lips. Embry was talking to me, but I wasn't paying attention. I saw her eyes grow wide then felt a jarring pressure in my shoulder, followed by Embry's laughter. The idiot had punched me! I shrugged and laughed, and Bella resumed chatting with Emily.

Emily was pointing at people and talking, and Bella was nodding her head. She seemed to be enjoying herself, so I relaxed and looked around. Isaiah was watching her a little too closely for my liking, but Bella didn't seem to notice so I tried to ignore him. I wasn't having much luck, especially when I caught her smiling at him.

"So, are you back among the living?" asked Embry.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"C'mon Jake. You were like the walking dead without her," he teased.

"That obvious?" I laughed.

"It was disgusting" he snorted. "All that and you haven't even imprinted!"

The others chimed in, with lots of verbal jabs and some _really_ terrible advice. I watched Bella out of the corner of my eye the entire time. So did Isaiah, but at least Bella was too busy talking to Emily to notice. I glared at him for a while, much to Jared's amusement, but Isaiah didn't even glance my way. I was about to go over and say something when Embry distracted me again.

"So what do you think of Meg? You think I've got a chance?" he asked.

"No."

"No?" he repeated, surprised.

"You smell like wet dog," I chuckled.

"You're one to talk! Five bucks says she kisses me before the fire's out."

"You have to talk to her first, moron," I said, my eyes going back to Bella.

Her pale skin glistened in the glow of the fire, and her hair danced over her shoulders as she laughed with Emily. Even her eyes sparkled, reminding me of the bonfire where I'd first met her, back before either of us really believed that monsters existed. She was beautiful like this, when the pain she'd been in for so long was nearly gone. I wondered how she'd managed to get past it. I wanted to think I'd had something to do with that, but I couldn't be sure. Whatever the reason, I was going to make sure she never went back to that dark, destructive place again.

I was tracing her name in the dirt when I felt a hand on my knee. Had she come to sit with me? I looked up and was met with disappointment. Maria.

"I was hoping I'd see you here," she said, smiling.

"Oh?"

"Why haven't you come over and talked to me yet, Jake?"

"I've been busy." _Oops. That sounded rude. _

"Too busy for me?" she asked, moving closer.

_Uh-oh._ "Ah, no." _Crap. I was too busy for her. But saying that would just be mean._

"It's a little crowded here, don't you think?"

"Not really," I said, pretending not to catch her drift. "There's someone I'd like you to meet." Okay, so maybe it wasn't the smoothest change of subject, but I was willing to do anything to get out before things got any more awkward.

I looked over to see Bella still sitting with Emily. Sam was beside her now. It looked like he was talking to her and Bella was staring at the ground, her shoulders hunched down. Something was wrong again. Was Sam upsetting her? Whatever it was, it had to be fixed. Now.

"Bella!" I called.

Sam and Emily glanced at me, but Bella didn't budge.

"Bella!" I called a little louder this time.

She seemed dazed when she looked up. But then she stood and walked clumsily, adorably, toward me. She now looked terrified. I held my hand out to her, and pulled her down to sit with me. I held her close and wrapped my arms around her. She was tense, and I started to wonder if she was uncomfortable just being _here_...with me.

"I've missed you," I whispered against her ear. "You were with Emily so long I think Isaiah was getting the impression you're available."

She rested her hand on my thigh. Her thumb began moving in circles on the inside of my leg, the effect of which I was pretty sure she wasn't aware. I heard her sigh as I felt her relax against me. Whatever was bothering her was gone. But what was bothering me was still moving in circles on the inside of my thigh.

I kissed along her neck and let my teeth graze her ear, and she shivered. I couldn't help myself. I slipped one hand just under the bottom of her shirt, careful not to move too high, and trailed my fingers across her stomach. Suddenly she gasped and wiggled against me, and it was all I could do to keep control. I pulled her hips back roughly against me, knowing she could feel me hardened against her back.

"Bella! If you can't control yourself..."

She just giggled and slid forward a little. Bella wasn't going to make this easy on me.

"I'm sorry Maria," I said, not surprised that I'd forgotten all about her. "I don't believe you two have met. This is my Bella."

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to meet you," she said, with a cold smile. Then she just got up and walked away.

"I don't think she likes you," I said to Bella.

"She seems to like _you_ well enough."

_That's_ what was wrong. Bella had gotten the wrong idea. I turned her to the side so I could see her face and smiled. "I guess that explains the tortured look you had over there. Jealous?"

"Nope," she said, smiling back mischievously. "I'm sure Isaiah wouldn't mind keeping me company if you're too preoccupied."

_This will be better than confronting Isaiah_, I thought. "Oh, I'll show you preoccupied..." and I kissed her again, slipping my tongue past her lips as my hand found its way back to her stomach. I had every right to torture her like she'd done to me. I stopped only when her breathing became ragged and she whimpered against my mouth. I hadn't really even done anything, but I loved her reaction. I smiled down at her as she tried to catch her breath.

"That's not fair," she pouted.

"Careful, Bells," I teased. "I could show you 'not fair,' too, but I'm pretty sure Sam would come unglued."

Her eyes grew wide with panic and her cheeks blazed red. I laughed as she tucked herself against me. A bunch of the girls were giggling, and the look on my sister's face was priceless. I couldn't resist giving Isaiah a smug smile, earning a nice glare in return. Yes, everyone had noticed, but it didn't matter. Looking down at her I knew that what mattered was that she was _my_ Bella. And we were happy.

Then I felt her cringe and I looked up. Sam was watching us, and he was _not_ pleased. I instinctively tightened my arms around her and shifted my position. I took my eyes off Sam for a second and saw Emily was looking intently at Bella...and she looked worried. Bella pressed closer to me. _This can't be good._ Suddenly Emily's expression changed and she whispered again to Sam, who relaxed immediately. I didn't have to be phased to know what they had been thinking. They thought I was pushing Bella again, and I was not about to explain myself to them. _Since when is Sam so concerned about Bella? _I could certainly appreciate their earlier advice, but Bella was mine to take care of now. How could they think I was stupid enough to hurt her? I didn't lessen my hold on her until she turned to look at me, her eyes filled with questions.

"You okay, Bells?" I asked, trying to hide my annoyance with Sam.

"Mmmhmm," she mumbled, then she snuggled her face against my neck.

I was stroking her back and still watching Sam when I felt her breathing change. She had fallen asleep. I held her close, listening to her slow breathing, silently reveling in the moment. It felt like I had waited forever for her. Months of watching her with that bloodsucker, followed by months of watching her fall apart over him.

The Bella that had first shown up with the bikes had looked so lost and fragile. Her eyes had been empty, and her face had lost what little color it had. I hadn't been exaggerating when I'd told her she looked like a little china doll. She had looked utterly breakable. She was skinny and frail, and Charlie had been beside himself with worry. Every time he'd talk to my dad he'd complained about not knowing what to do to help her. And he'd had plenty of names for the bloodsucker who'd made her that way. I didn't understand how the leech could have left her. Why would anyone leave her?

But now she was almost herself again. When she laughed, it didn't sound hollow anymore. And when she smiled, her eyes blazed again. She still wasn't over him, or at least the pain he'd caused her, I knew. But she was mine now, and I wasn't going to let anything hurt her---especially me. The leech had made a mistake in leaving her, but I was selfishly glad he had. I wouldn't make that same mistake.

* * *


	15. Blunder: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT: BLUNDER  
(Bella's POV)**

I must have dozed off, because when I came to, the fire was little more than a glowing pile of embers, and nearly everyone was gone. A few of the guests were paired off, whispering quietly in the remaining glow, but the party was clearly over. And I was still wrapped in Jacob's arms.

"You know you talk in your sleep?" he whispered.

I looked up at him, afraid to ask. _Please, please, please tell me I didn't say anything utterly embarrassing!_

"I don't mind, Bells," he said grinning. "As long as it's my name you're saying, you can talk all you want."

I could feel myself blushing and I tried to look away, but Jacob's hand was under my chin, and he wasn't going to let me budge. In an instant, he was kissing me, softly, sweetly. And I forgot everything.

"Bella!" Sam was yelling from the open back door. "Bella, come inside for a minute," he said.

_But we weren't dong anything! _I silently protested. Jacob pushed me to my feet and stood up beside me, taking my hand. It looked like I was going inside whether I wanted to or not.

* * *

"Just you, Bella," Sam said as we came through the doorway. "Jake, we'll only be a minute. Wait outside."

"No," I protested, clutching Jacob's hand tighter. I was in no mood to face the alpha wolf alone. Besides, he wasn't _my_ pack leader. He couldn't control what I did, and I had every intention of going back outside if that's where Jacob would be.

"Fine," Sam snarled. He sighed and turned to Emily.

"Bella, there's been a little change of plans," Emily explained, stepping toward me. "The power has gone out in Forks, and your father has to go in to work. He asked if you could stay at Billy's tonight, but--," she glanced at Jacob, "We told him it would be best if you stayed in our guest room instead."

Okay, that wasn't so bad. I was almost relieved, and I was starting to wonder where a second bedroom would be hidden in a house this small. Then it occurred to me why she didn't want me to stay at Billy's, and I bristled.

Before I could respond, she hurriedly continued, "No one is saying you can't be...responsible, Bella. But I don't think he'd be happy about you staying at Jake's if he knew."

"But Charlie _already_ knows, and _he_ trusts me," I argued, thinking back to Charlie's annoying grin when Jacob kissed me.

"Then tell me this: Do you honestly think he'd would want you stay there tonight if he'd seen you and Jake outside earlier?"

"Fine," I said grudgingly. Billy's house didn't have a guest room anyhow, and I didn't think a night of the sofa would be very comfortable. Then I remembered the nightmares. What was I going to do about them? It was bad enough to wake up screaming at home, but at least Charlie was used to it. Did I really want to wake up screaming in _Sam's _house? Emily must have seen the worry on my face, and she completely misunderstood it.

"And don't worry about Charlie. The rest of the pack has been watching him while you were here---" she paused to put her hand up in a 'stop' gesture as Sam shot her a dark look, "and there's no sign of the vampire. They'll be watching him tonight, and the others will be here."

_Rest of the pack? There were more wolves than the five I knew about? _But I didn't have time to think about that. I had to get out of there.

"Ummmm, Jacob, do you mind if I talk to Emily for a second?" I asked. He looked at me with curiosity, and maybe a little concern, then kissed my hair and walked out the door. Fortunately, Sam followed him.

"I _can't _stay here," I whined as soon as the door was shut. "I _have_ to go home. It's not like I need electricity to sleep. And the pack will be there, right?"

"No. Charlie made it clear he didn't want you home."

'You can't keep me here against my will. You said you'd take me home whenever I wanted, and I want to go home _now._"

Suspicion crossed her face. "Is this about Jake? Did he...go too far again?"

"No, of course not! I just _really need_ to be at home," I said.

"That's not going to happen, Bella. Now tell me what's really going on."

* * *

The house was too silent and the bed looked way too comfortable. Jacob had kissed me goodnight and slipped out into the darkness of the woods, his clothes left in a neat pile on a chair in the kitchen. I missed him already, even though I knew he was probably watching my window. I walked back into the kitchen and picked up his shirt. It was still warm and I could smell the scent of his skin on it, green and musky, like the woods. Surely he wouldn't mind if I borrowed it? Back in the guestroom, I slipped off my clothes and pulled on his shirt. It was way too big, of course, but it was as close as I would get to having him here. I reluctantly crawled into bed and waited for the nightmares. At least Emily knew what was coming.

* * *

I didn't have time to stifle my screams before Sam burst through the door, throwing the light on and staring at me in alarm. Jacob was only a second behind him, and he quickly pushed by Sam to sweep me up off the bed, blankets and all. As I buried my face against his neck, choking back tears, I saw Emily pulling Sam back out into the hallway. Jacob sat on the edge of the bed, cradling me in his lap.

"Another nightmare?" he asked softly.

"You knew about them?" I asked, surprise in my tone.

"Charlie said something back when you were..." he trailed off. "I hear you all the time when I'm watching your house. Can you tell me?"

I hesitated, not sure if I should explain. Then again, if Jacob and I were going to be together, he had a right to know just how messed up I was. "I've always had nightmares," I explained. "They just got so much worse when...when Edward left."

His body went rigid, and it felt like he was holding his breath. I panicked.

"Please don't be mad, Jacob," I sobbed. "It's not him. I just...there's so much I'm afraid of and I can't block it out when I'm asleep and I love you and I can't even _hear_ him anymore and please don't me mad. I _need _you." The words were tumbling out in a rushed mess, and I didn't even know if I was making sense. "Don't leave me. _Please_ don't th---" I was starting to hyperventilate and I couldn't finish.

He was stroking my hair and cradling me against his chest. "Shhhh, honey. It's okay. I'm not mad."

His arms loosened and he started to push me away. My hands clung desperately, trying to hold on to him.

"I'm not leaving," he whispered. "But if we're going to get any sleep, I need to fix the bed." I let go and he let me down to stand, the tangled covers falling in a heap around my feet.

He scooped them up and quickly arranged them over the bed, then turned to me and froze. Starting at my feet, his eyes slowly worked their way up over me. When they finally reached my face, I was holding my breath. _He's not mad about his shirt, is he?_

He stepped forward, so close to me I had to lean back a little to see his eyes. "That's mine," he growled huskily.

"It's warm...and it smells like you," I said timidly.

"Tell me you're wearing something underneath it."

I looked down and gasped, feeling the blood rush to my face. His shirt was big on me, nearly reaching my knees, and even with the sleeves rolled up, the cuffs were at my wrists. But only the bottom three buttons were closed, leaving a two inch wide gap all the way down to my waist. I peeked over to the pile of my own clothes I'd left on the floor. Yep, my bra was strewn on top. I was actually standing there...next to a bed...with Jacob...in nothing but panties and a mostly-open shirt.

* * *


	16. Blunder: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHT: BLUNDER  
(Jacob's POV)**

I wanted to see her face, but she only pressed it closer into my chest as she slept. Her breath was warm through my shirt, and as I felt her lips move I wondered what she was dreaming about.

"Jacob," she mumbled quietly.

"Bella?" I whispered. Then I realized she was still asleep.

_I should wake her,_ I thought, for a moment feeling like I was intruding_. _But I wanted to hear. _Is she dreaming of me?_

"My Jacob," she said in her dreams, and I smiled.

Even though we were sitting on the ground, by a dying fire, surrounded by people, I was suddenly in my favorite place in the world. It didn't matter that the last few days had been hell. It didn't matter that I had nearly lost my chance with her. What mattered was that she was here, in my arms, dreaming of me.

She moved slightly, and I felt her breathing change. She was waking up.

"You know you talk in your sleep?" I whispered.

Her eyes shot up to mine, wide and fearful.

"I don't mind, Bells," I said, unable to hide my smile. "As long as it's my name you're saying, you can talk all you want."

She blushed and tried to turn away, but stopped her. I didn't want her to be embarrassed. I just wanted to kiss her.

She surrendered as soon as our lips touched. Our kiss was slow and soft, and I was lost in her. The taste of her filled my mouth and I could think of nothing but her lips...her tongue...

"Bella!"

Leave it to Sam to ruin a perfect moment. And what did he want with Bella, anyway?

"Bella, come inside for a minute," he said.

Bella seemed to hesitate, but I knew there was no arguing with Sam. Whatever it was, it must be important. I pushed her to her feet and rose up beside her, leading her inside.

* * *

"Just you, Bella. Jake, we'll only be a minute. Wait outside."

I started to leave, but Bella held tightly to my hand.

"No," she said, surprising me with the firmness of her tone.

This was bad. I had to either defy Sam or go against Bella. This wasn't a choice I was prepared to make. Either way I went, there would be hell to pay.

"Fine," Sam said angrily, much to my relief.

Emily explained that there was a blackout in Forks and Charlie wanted Bella to stay at my house. She and Sam wanted Bella would stay with them, and I was glad to hear it. I was bound to get myself into trouble again if Bella stayed over at my house. My dad was a sound sleeper, and Bella was irresistible. It was hard not to laugh when Bella got offended.

"But Charlie _already_ knows, and _he_ trusts me," she insisted.

_You're not the one they're worried about, _I thought_._

"Then tell me this," argued Emily, "Do you honestly think Charlie would want you stay at Billy's tonight if he'd seen you and Jacob outside earlier?"

_My point exactly._

"Fine," Bella sulked. But then her lips pulled out of their cute pout and fear flashed across her face. She reigned it in quickly, but we all saw it, and before I could ask her what was wrong Emily spoke up.

"And don't worry about Charlie. The rest of the pack has been watching him while you were here and there's no sign of the vampire. They'll be watching him tonight, and the others will be here." Emily ignored Sam, who was clearly not happy that she'd just revealed our numbers.

Bella didn't seem to notice. She was still worried about something. Once again, I was too slow to speak up.

"Ummmm, Jacob, do you mind if I talk to Emily for a second?"

It didn't make sense. What wouldn't Bella want me to hear? Sure, Emily was nice, but why couldn't Bella talk to me? _Maybe it's one of those female things. I probably don't want to know._ I kissed the top of her head and walked back outside. Sam was right behind me.

"_I can't stay here. I have to go home. It's not like I need electricity to sleep. And the pack will be there, right?" _

Even outside we could hear her pleading. Sam put his hand on my shoulder and nudged me forward. I walked with him around to the farthest side of the circle around the fire, where we couldn't hear her over the crackling embers and hushed conversation of the few remaining guests.

"What's that about Jake?" asked Sam, nodding toward the house.

"I wish I knew."

"She didn't say anything? You didn't _do _anything?"

"No!"

Sam laughed, "So she kisses you, yells at you, locks herself in her room, and is refuses to spend the night... Yeah, she's definitely the one for you."

"I hate you, Sam."

* * *

Bella was in the guestroom, and in spite of what she'd said earlier, Emily left us in there alone. Bella looked so tiny seated on the corner of the giant bed. It wasn't a large house, but the beds in it were definitely picked out for werewolves. Bella was perched on the edge with her legs pulled up under her.

"Can't you stay for a little while?"

"Not if you want to be safe," I said, silently adding ..._from a vampire, from a werewolf that's in love with you... _"My brothers depend on me. I can't leave them to cover for me just because you're irresistible," I joked, leaning down to kiss her.

"Sounds like you're resisting," she pouted.

"Only because I love you."

"I love you, too."

Fortunately, she was still dressed. Emily had offered her a nightgown, but Bella had said she'd sleep in her tank top instead. I was already picturing her in nothing but that tank top and... _Focus! _

"Goodnight, Bells," I said, kissing her quickly. If I stood any chance of leaving that bedroom, I had to go _now_.

* * *

I phased as soon as I was out the door, willing myself not to think of her, but it was impossible. I knew the entire pack would be listening, so I tried to focus only on benign things, like our walks on the beach and how she'd fallen asleep by the fire tonight. It was all I could do not to think of kissing her, touching her...Jared started laughing.

Then I heard her screams.

I hadn't strayed more than a few yards from the house since I'd left her, so I knew she couldn't actually be in trouble. That could mean only one thing: a nightmare. I phased back instantly and ran inside, barely managing to get my jeans back on before I was through the door.

Sam was in her room before I was, but I pushed him out of the way and grabbed Bella. I picked her up, along with a mass of blankets, and held her as close as I could without crushing her. I sat down on the bed, cradling her in my lap until the strangled noises from her throat faded.

"Another nightmare?" I asked.

"You knew about them?"

"Charlie said something back when you were..." I didn't want to bring up her post-bloodsucker depression. "I hear you all the time when I'm watching your house."

She didn't say anything and I wondered if she would tell me what was going on, why she had so many nightmares. I was almost afraid to ask. "Can you tell me...?"

She was quiet for a moment, then said "I've always had nightmares. They just got so much worse when...when Edward left."

So much for not bringing up the bloodsucker. I hated him, and not just for what he was. I hated him for what he'd done to _her_.

"Please don't be mad, Jacob," she begged. "It's not him. I just...there's so much I'm afraid of and I can't block it out when I'm asleep and I love you and I can't even _hear_ him anymore and please don't me mad. I need you. Don't leave me. _Please_ don't th---"

How could she possibly think I would leave her? I hadn't been able to leave her even when she didn't want me. There was no way I could leave her now. And what did she mean 'hear him?' Her breaths were coming out in ragged gasps.

"Shhhh, honey. It's okay. I'm not mad."

I knew Emily had kept Bella here to keep us from ending up in the same bed, but I didn't care anymore. Sex was the last thing on my mind. I just needed to stay with Bella. I started to put her down so I could put the bed back together, but she wouldn't let go.

"I'm not leaving," I said. "But if we're going to get any sleep, I need to fix the bed."

I tossed the sheet and blankets back on as neatly as I could, then turned to face Bella...and very nearly came undone.

She was wearing my shirt, and it was so big on her it probably would have covered more of her than one of Emily's nightgowns..._if_ it had been buttoned. She just stood there, her white skin even paler against the dark fabric that draped down to her knees. Her tiny hands peeked out from the rolled up sleeves. But it was open, from her neck to her waist, and I could barely take my eyes off the long line of smooth skin it exposed. I forced myself to look at her face, and her eyes were wide. Didn't she know what she was doing to me?

I stepped over to her. How much control did she think I had? "That's mine."

"It's warm...and it smells like you," she said.

I didn't want it back. I wanted her in it. Just like this.

"Tell me you're wearing something underneath it."

* * *


	17. Redemption: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE: REDEMPTION  
(Bella's POV)**

"Y-yes," I stuttered, grabbing the front of the shirt and holding it closed. "I---"

His arms were around me as he cut me off with an almost violent kiss. Jacob was kissing me like he was hungry and sated all at once, alternating between rough and tender, and my legs were turning to liquid.

His hands were at the small of my back, not moving, but pressing me close against him, pinning my arms awkwardly between us. I was still tightly gripping the front of the shirt. For a moment, I forgot what I was doing, and I let go, wanting to slide my arms around him, too. Then I felt the heat of his skin upon mine, burning down the center of my chest, and I realized what I had done.

He growled against my lips, kissing me harder, and I started to pull away. But I hesitated. Pressed against him, the shirt didn't fall open, and his hands hadn't moved from my back. But the warmth of his skin on mine was doing funny things to my body. My skin was tingling, and my muscles were tightening, and my head was lost in a dizzying fog.

Suddenly his lips were softer, brushing lightly against mine, and he was no longer crushing me to him. I realized too late that his hands were between us, pulling at the open front of the shirt. I started to protest but my words were silenced by his tongue against mine.

Was this what I wanted? Every nerve in my body was screaming yes, but somewhere in the back of my mind a shred of sanity remained, if only I could hold onto it.

I could feel his fingers brushing against my stomach, pausing, then slowly making their way upward, and pausing again. I couldn't seem to break my lips from his. Not because he wouldn't relent, but because I was melting into him. My ability to reason was drowning in the sensations coursing through me.

I finally managed to regain control of my arms, pulling them from his back and catching his wrists just as his hands were at the center of my chest.

"Don't," he breathed against my lips, and what little resolve I had crumbled.

Was I ready for this? Were _we _ready for this? I couldn't think straight. I couldn't think at all.

"There," he whispered. "Now get in bed before I change my mind," he said inching away from me.

I was frozen for a moment, not sure if I should scramble into bed or run from the room.

"Bells, _please, _you're killing me," he groaned.

I dropped my gaze to the floor, not sure what to do, not sure if I could move. Then I saw it. Jacob had fastened nearly every button.

I scurried onto the bed and yanked the covers up.

"I'll be right back," Jacob said with a pained smile, and he slipped out into the hallway, flicking off the light as he left.

I heard the murmur of voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. And I was too stunned to care.

I closed my eyes and tried to catch my breath. A small part of me was disappointed, wondering what it would have been like if Jacob had shown as little control as I had, imagining the warmth of his hands on me, wishing I knew more of his touch. But a bigger part of me was relieved. Relieved that I didn't have to face that decision yet, glad he'd had some willpower when mine had failed me. Willpower like Edward always had.

Edward. Where did he fit into my life now? His voice in my head had abandoned me as suddenly and unexpectedly as he had. And no matter how much I loved him still, he was gone. He'd left me. Why didn't my chest rip open at the thought? Where was the soul-shredding pain that crushed my lungs and weighed so heavily on my shoulders? I took a deep breath, surprised the air came so easily. Was it Jacob? Had he filled the emptiness, healed the hole in me?

No, not entirely. It was still there, but it no longer ached. It hardly twinged.

I felt the bed shift as Jacob crawled in beside me.

"If you've undone even one of those buttons, I'm going to make Sam sleep between us," he said.

I giggled, imagining Jacob having to explain this to Sam. Sam didn't strike me as a 'feelings' type of guy.

"Come here," Jake said softly, and I snuggled up to him, laying my head on his chest.

"Is Emily okay with this?" I asked.

"Sure---anything to keep you from waking everyone up again," he chucked.

"And what makes you so sure you're the solution?"

"Don't I always take care of you?"

I nodded against his chest, smiling to myself.

"Besides, I didn't tell her you were trying to seduce me."

I looked up to see a smug grin on his face that even the darkness couldn't hide.

* * *


	18. Redemption: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER NINE: REDEMPTION  
(Jacob's POV)**

She grabbed at the front of the shirt, yanking it closed. She might have been speaking, but I could only hear my own thundering heartbeat.

Sam's advice resounded in my head, finding dark amusement in my new predicament. Bella was perfect. And it would only take a second to rip off the shirt that barely hid all of her from me. But I couldn't. Not now. Not with what I now knew. Even if the opportunity was there, torturing me, she wouldn't want this. Not yet.

But I couldn't turn away. One second I was staring at her, drinking her in, and the next I was kissing her, pulling her against me, unable to get close enough. What had she been _thinking_? Didn't she _know_ how much I wanted her? Why had she worn my shirt? Why had she looked so perfect in it? Why had she chosen _now_ to test my resolve?

I couldn't get enough of her, but I willed my hands to still, afraid to move them from their place at her back. Her arms were still between us, still mercifully clutching the shirt closed, holding her those few safe inches from me. Then they dropped and she slid her body against mine, her hands curling around me. It was only a thin line of bare skin, nothing really. I hadn't seen anything I shouldn't...everything I really wanted to see. But it was too much, and I was giving in. I wasn't going to be able to stop. My lips were pressing harder into hers, meeting no resistance. If this was a test, I was failing miserably, and I didn't care.

That scent. It was stronger and sweeter than before, and with every breath I took, I felt it slowly overpowering me. Then I heard her soft moan and I knew she would let me. I would press her down on the bed. I would rip through those remaining buttons. I would lose myself in the feel of her, the taste of her, the scent of her.

_She wants this, _I told myself. _She's mine. She trusts me._

It was that last thought that steadied me. Bella trusted me. If Sam and Emily were right about her, I had to stop while I still could.

I pulled my hands from her back and grabbed the front of the shirt, never removing my lips from hers, feeling my way to the lowest open button, her bare skin against my knuckles threatening to distract me from my new purpose. _One down, too many to go. _I inched up to the next one, and fastened it too. Then the next, and the next... my hands hovered over the last button, the hardest button. Her chest was rising and falling beneath my hands. If I just slid my hand over, beneath the shirt...

Just then her fingers closed around my wrists, pulling, as if she was trying to stop me. Whether she wanted me to stop buttoning or stop what I was so tempted to do, I didn't know. But if I hesitated for even one second, it was all over.

"Don't," I managed to say, praying she would just listen for once. Her grip went limp although she didn't let go. _One more. Just finish this last button. _

_Finally!_ I was relieved and disappointed all at once. She was still in my shirt, still pressed up against me, still looking like I'd always dreamed. But she was dressed...kind of. Enough that I could walk away and bang my head against a wall somewhere until I'd convinced myself I'd done the right thing.

I managed to tear my lips from hers, breaking the longest, best, most tortuous kiss I would ever endure. _I must really love this girl. _"There," I said shakily. "Now get in bed before I change my mind."

She just stood there. Was she insane? Did she really think I had any semblance of control left?

"Bells, _please_, you're killing me."

She practically leapt into bed, considerately drawing the blankets up to her chin.

"I'll be right back," I said, anxious to escape. I was actually trying to get away from Bella?

I turned out the light and stepped out into the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me. Emily was waiting. She leaned against the wall, her arms crossed, but she couldn't hide her amusement.

"You look like you're in pain," she chuckled.

"Oh, sure, Bella tries to kill me and you think it's funny," I said, taking out a little of my frustration on her.

"Oh, I don't think you'll die Jake," she said, still grinning. "The water's freezing right now. I'm sure if you do some midnight cliff diving you'll feel much better."

What a comedian. "Very funny, Em. Except I'm not leaving."

"Oh, yes, you are," she said, all humor gone. "If you hadn't come out when you did, I was coming in after you, and from the look on your face, maybe I should have! Charlie is expecting us to take care of her and that doesn't include you in her bed."

"Can't you just trust me?"

"No," she said firmly.

"Emily, _please_. I'm not leaving her."

"No!"

"It'll just be sleeping---I promise." I pleaded.

"Jacob!" she hissed, but I could tell she was wavering.

"Emily?" I begged.

She glared at me and sighed heavily. "You know Sam has excellent hearing, right?"

"Then he can listen to me snore."

"Fine," she said almost angrily. "But he _will_ be listening, and if you even try...," she threatened, turning to go back to her bedroom.

"You'd better warn him that Bella talks in her sleep," I called after her. "A _lot_!"

_Maybe that swim isn't such a bad idea_, I thought. I took a deep breath and walked back into Bella's room.

She was still lying in bed, almost completely hidden under the covers, with her eyes closed, but it didn't look like she was sleeping. I eased in beside her, steeling myself for a very frustrating night.

"If you've undone even one of those buttons, I'm going to make Sam sleep between us," I warned, much to her amusement. "Come here."

"Is Emily okay with this?" she asked, curling up to me.

_Not really. _"Sure---anything to keep you from waking everyone up again." I didn't dare tell her Sam was practically spying on us.

"And what makes you so sure you're the solution?"

"Don't I always take care of you?" I asked. "Besides, I didn't tell her you were trying to seduce me." She didn't really think I was going to let that go, did she?

In no time, her breathing slowed and she drifted off to sleep. She was talking in her sleep again, and every time she said my name, she sounded happy.

I lay there, not wanting to miss a second of it, replaying the night in my head. We had just let everything fall into place instead of talking about it. Not talking had nearly ruined any chance I had with her, and I couldn't risk that happening again. Even though Sam and Emily had spelled it out for me, I needed to hear it from her. _I did the right thing_, I told myself. I actually held back. For Bella. She would probably never know how hard that was for me, but I hoped she understood that I loved her even more than I wanted her. If she only loved me half as much, I'd be happy for eternity.

Eventually I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, and not even her sleep-talking could wake me from the best dream I'd ever had.

* * *


	19. Damaged: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN: DAMAGED  
(Bella's POV)**

I opened my eyes to gray light streaming in through the partially closed blinds and realized I was unusually warm even though I'd kicked the covers off in my sleep. _Jacob. _I was curled up against him in Emily's guestroom. _Wow. What an incredible night_, I thought to myself. It felt like a million years ago that I'd been nearly crying in my bedroom, determined to throw the friendship clause at Jacob. Instead, he'd come to me with such sincerity and love, he'd completely ignored that freakishly beautiful Maria, and he'd come running to my rescue when I'd had a nightmare. I cringed inwardly with embarrassment at the memory of 'the shirt incident,' partly because I'd been stupid enough not to button the shirt up, and partly because I'd completely lost all sense of self-control. Jake was never going to let me live that down. But he had been the perfect gentleman, buttoning up the shirt when I was too weak to think straight. That wasn't what made me so happy, though. What really warmed my heart was the reason he'd done it. Unlike Edward, who always held back because he thought it was what was best for me, Jacob had held back because he knew that was what I really wanted. For once, what_ I _wanted was important.

And right now I wanted food. The smell of breakfast wafted into the room, and I tried to slip out of bed, but a heavy arm pinned me to him.

"And where are you going?" he asked.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," I said, rubbing my eyes.

"I've been awake," he said, rolling over me. "I was waiting for you," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss.

The instant our lips met, I thought back to the night before and realized I only had a few seconds before I forgot where I was again. I pushed him away.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked. Jacob never had any trouble devouring every crumb of food in sight. He was probably starving.

"MmmHmm," he mumbled, crushing his mouth against mine.

It was a good thirty seconds before I remembered I was starving, and I finally managed to push him away again.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a smirk. "Haven't I proven I can behave?"

_Yes, but I can't. _"I'm hungry," I insisted.

He raised an eyebrow and just leered at me.

"Food," I clarified.

"Then breakfast it is," he said dramatically, kissing me again before hopping out of bed. "Here," he said, tossing me my clothes.

They landed in my lap, and I snatched them up quickly, glad to see my bra was nicely hidden somewhere in the bundle. Wait. No it wasn't.

"Looking for this?" I heard Jacob say.

I should have known better than to look up. There was my bra, dangling from his finger. I felt the color rise in my cheeks again.

Jacob just laughed and tossed it to me, then sat down on the opposite side of the bed with his back to me.

"Don't even _think_ about peeking," I warned him, pulling my jeans on.

"That's impossible, Bells," he chuckled. "How about if I just _think_ about it but don't actually _do_ it?"

I've never gotten dressed so quickly in my life.

* * *

I didn't realize the entire pack, plus some, had descended on Emily's kitchen. Rachel was there, and Seth had joined them. They all turned to look at us as we walked in. At that moment I wanted to run back into the bedroom and hide. But Jake had a pretty tight grip on my hand, so I had no choice but to face them. Embry didn't make it any easier for me.

"Soooo...I take it you both _slept _well?" he asked with a smirk.

But before I could even blush, Sam's hand came out of nowhere, slapping him hard across the side of his head.

"Eat!" he told him, then turning to us, his voice softened. "Bella, you'd better grab a plate before these guys go back for seconds."

No one else dared say anything, although Jared looked like he was choking, and Rachel was giving me some kind of death glare, so I let go of Jacob's hand and hurried over to Emily. She was hovering over three skillets at once. Seeing her there, playing mother to a group of enormous teenage boys, I had a hard time believing she was only a couple of years older than me.

"Can I help with anything?" I asked.

"No, I think I've got it all," she said. Then she glanced back at the table. "But if you want to pull that stool over you can eat at the counter and talk to me."

I was more than a little relieved at her suggestion, though I felt bad ignoring Jacob. But when I looked back, he'd already piled his plate high with food and sat down with the others. He smiled at me before shoving an entire muffin in his mouth, and I couldn't help but laugh. I grabbed some toast and a couple of pieces of bacon and pulled the stool over by Emily. It was impossible not to appreciate the scene in her kitchen. The pack truly was a family---an unruly, loud, sometimes obnoxious family, but a family nonetheless.

It was a bittersweet reminder of the Cullens. I had so wanted to be a part of their family, different as they may have been. But breakfast with them would have consisted of me eating while they busied themselves with other things. For a moment, I could almost hear Emmett's roaring laughter, Esme's motherly chiding, Alice's musical lilt, Edward's... I felt a small pang at the thought of him. But breakfast at the Cullen's could never have held a candle to what I was witnessing in Emily's small house. Whether they were capable of morphing into furry giants or not, there was something about the group of them gathered for breakfast that was beautiful. I nearly fell off my stool when Sam plunked a cup of coffee down next to me.

"Decaf," he muttered.

"Thanks," I said, unable to hide my surprise.

"See? He's not so bad, is he?" Emily laughed as Sam went back to the table. "Now tell me...how did last night go?"

"Ah...fine. I didn't have any more nightmares, but I guess you know that...no screaming."

"So, Jake behaved himself?"

"Better than I did," I mumbled. _Crap. Did I say that out loud?_

"Oh!" she exclaimed, smiling brightly. "Well, then I guess things really are all worked out."

"We didn't really talk much," I said, then quickly added, "I fell asleep pretty fast." I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. "But yes, I think we're okay."

She went to drop off some more food at the table, and the boys descended on it like...well, a pack of wolves. Paul seemed to be the only one who didn't care about getting his fill. His eyes were locked on Rachel, and his expression held so much more than just idle interest. He looked completely infatuated. _That's odd, _I thought._ What happened to Laura? _My confusion must have been written on my face.

"He imprinted," Emily said, nodding toward Paul and Rachel.

"Oh," I mumbled. What did that mean? Paul had been smitten with Laura the night before. After some initial shyness, he'd stuck to her side all night---at least when I'd been paying attention. Yet now he was eyeing Rachel like she was the only woman in the world. I wondered if Laura knew about this. I was about to ask Emily, when the phone rang.

"Hello?" said Emily, stretching the cord over the counter to continue cooking while she talked. "Yes, she's right here. Bella, it's Charlie," she said, handing me the phone.

"Hi, Dad. Is the power back on?"

_"Yes, Forks is officially back on the grid. When are you coming home?"_

"Ah, I guess when I finish eating. Is something wrong?"

_"No, everything's fine. Do you need me to come get you, or do you have a ride?"_

"I'm sure I can get a ride. You probably need to get some sleep, Dad."

_"Ok, Bells."_ he said._ "I'll see you later."_

"Bye, Dad."

"So I guess we should get you home?" asked Emily.

* * *

The ride home was quiet, and Jacob seemed to be lost in thought. He'd borrowed Sam's truck and wasted no time in taking advantage of the bench seat, immediately pulling me to the middle and keeping an arm around me while he drove. But I couldn't ignore the weird tension in the air. And every time I glanced up at Jake, he just stared straight ahead. It was like he was trying too hard to pretend everything was normal. The sudden change in mood was a terrible contrast to the way he'd been when we were at Sam and Emily's.

Jacob helped me out of the truck and walked me to the door. I knew he'd have to get back, having borrowed Sam's truck, not to mention spending the night with me when he should have been "working." I turned to kiss him goodbye, and was surprised by the peculiar expression on his face. He looked--and felt--distant.

"Is it okay if I come in for a minute?" he asked.

"Of course," I said, wondering why he suddenly felt like he had to ask permission. Something was _definitely _up.

But when we went inside, he settled himself on the couch, propping his feet on the coffee table, and flipped on the TV, just like he always had. Then he turned and looked expectantly at me, the odd expression still on his face. He was clearly waiting for me to sit down with him, but the thought suddenly lost all appeal for me. I wavered for a moment, not sure if I wanted to avoid whatever was coming or just go ahead and get it over with. I decided on avoidance.

"Ah, do you mind waiting while I take a shower and change?" I asked. "I'll be quick."

"No, go ahead," he said. He opened his mouth to say more, but I rushed upstairs without giving him a chance.

I hurried to the bathroom and turned on the water, then headed to my closet. I settled on a t-shirt and jeans, and laid them out on my bed before returning to the bathroom. I was shivering the second the water hit me. Whether it was because the water hadn't had time to heat up or because I was filled with apprehension, I couldn't be sure. I only knew that there was a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something terrible was about to happen. I tried to stamp it down as I washed my hair, but the nagging sense of something awful on the horizon wouldn't be suppressed.

It wasn't that Jacob had looked upset. He didn't even look unhappy. He just looked...concerned. And after waking up next to him, feeling almost blissful, I couldn't stand the feeling that something wasn't right. A new possibility knocked the wind out of me. What if Jacob had imprinted too? What if I was about to be cast aside just as Laura had been? What the hell _was_ imprinting? If I could have stayed in the shower all day, I would have gladly hidden there, but avoidance was only making it worse. I turned off the water and dried off quickly, working the towel over my head just enough to stop the dripping. I yanked on my clothes and practically flew down the stairs, nearly falling twice on the way.

"Maybe Charlie should consider selling this house," mused Jacob as I sat down on the sofa.

"What? Why?" I asked, now very confused.

"You should be in a one-story, Bells. Those stairs are going to _kill_ you," he laughed.

Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe Jacob and I _were_ okay, and I was just being paranoid. Maybe Edward's leaving had made me wary. I began to relax, only to be filled with a renewed sense of dread when he spoke again.

"We need to talk," he said quietly.

_I knew it. I knew this was too good to be true._

"Hey, don't look so worried," he said, evidently noticing my panic. "And why are you sitting way over there?" he asked, tugging at my hand until I scooted closer to him.

I tried to calm myself, tried to ignore the familiar pain. This was exactly what Edward had done. He'd told me everything was fine, all the while acting strangely around me. Then he'd left me. There was a crushing weight on my chest, and the hole I thought was healing began to rip open. My lungs failed me.

"Bells, stop it. Whatever you're thinking, _don't_. Nothing is wrong."

"Nothing?" I asked, weakly.

"Nothing," he assured me, then he cocked his head to the side and looked at me like he was studying something. "He really screwed you up, didn't he?"

I felt like I should have been offended, but I wasn't. Jacob knew me too well. I shrugged, not sure what to say.

"We just never talked about...what happened," he said.

* * *


	20. Damaged: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN: DAMAGED  
(Jacob's POV)**

I woke up in heaven. Bella was sleeping at my side, her head on my chest. I could hear noises coming from the kitchen---probably Emily making breakfast and everyone else making a mess, but I didn't ever want to leave this bed.

I glanced down, careful not to move enough to wake her, and my heart stopped. She was perfect. Her face was tucked into the curve of my neck, and I could feel her warm breath fanning across my skin. One arm was wrapped under mine, her hand clasping at my shoulder, and the other was resting against my neck. Even in her sleep, she was holding tightly to me. My shirt was long on her, nearly reaching her knees when she stood, and the color accented her milky skin perfectly. But sometime in the night, the covers had been thrown back, and she'd drawn her knee up to wrap one leg around mine. The shirt had bunched up high on that leg, exposing one perfect thigh. I reached down with my free arm, wanting to touch it, but I caught myself, tracing the contour of the knee she had hitched up nearly to my waist instead. If there was ever a moment I wanted time to stop, it was now, when the rest of the world was on the other side of the door, and she was here, her tiny body pressed to mine while she slept.

Her eyelashes fluttered against my skin and she stirred. I couldn't let her go. Not yet. I waited, while she lay motionless for a minute, then she tried to pull away.

"And where are you going?" I whispered.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," she said, rubbing her eyes.

_She has no idea how cute that is. _"I've been awake," I said, shifting to lie over her. "I was waiting for you," I said, bringing my lips to meet that perfect uneven pout. For a moment, she practically melted against me, and then all too quickly, she was pressing against my chest, pushing me away.

"Aren't you hungry?" she asked.

_Starving. _"MmmHmm," I mumbled, capturing her lips again. And again, she submitted, only to push me away again.

"What's wrong?" I asked, unable to conceal a smile as I thought of the night before. "Haven't I proven I can behave?"

"I'm hungry," she said petulantly.

So was I...for her.

"Food," she said quickly.

"Then breakfast it is," I said, and I started to get up. But I couldn't resist just one more kiss. Before she could push me off again, I forced myself out of bed and grabbed her clothes from the little pile on the floor. "Here," I said, tossing them to her. Well, not all of them. I couldn't resist hanging onto one thing. _Pink cotton, no lace. Very Bella. _

It took her a second to notice, but I knew the moment she did. Her cheeks flushed, and she gasped.

"Looking for this?" I teased.

She looked up and her blush deepened. I laughed and tossed her bra to her. She was being awfully modest considering the way she'd been dressed last night. I sat down on the opposite side of the bed with my back to her. I had slept in my jeans--not the most comfortable option, but it was that or nothing. I had known better than to try nothing. But she needed to get dressed. And since the bathroom was across the hall, in plain sight of the kitchen, there was no way she was going to go out there. Not modest little Bella. Not when everyone would see her wearing nothing but my shirt. I could have made it easier on her by just leaving the room, but where was the fun in that? Of course, that meant I had to sit there, knowing that Bella was practically naked right behind me.

"Don't even _think_ about peeking," she said, trying to sound threatening.

_As if I can think of anything else! _"That's impossible, Bells," I laughed. "How about if I just _think_ about it but don't actually _do_ it?"

* * *

We walked into the kitchen holding hands. I felt her hesitate and pull back a little when she saw everyone gathered there. She was probably thinking everyone was jumping to conclusions. And she was right.

"Soooo...I take it you both _slept _well?" Embry asked, smirking.

Bella gasped, and I would have gladly punched him, but Sam beat me to it, slapping him upside the head the moment the words were out of his mouth. Sam could be a pain sometimes, but I had to hand it to him. He was on my side when it came to Bella.

"Eat!" he growled at Embry before looking at us. "Bella, you'd better grab a plate before these guys go back for seconds."

Bella pulled her hand from mine and went straight to Emily. At least she wasn't trying to hide behind me anymore.

I grabbed a plate and filled it with two of everything, then sat down and watched Bella while I ate. She looked back at me and smiled shyly then laughed as I shoved a whole muffin in my mouth. She was happy. Because of _me_.

She pulled a stool over to the counter by Emily and started talking, so I turned my attention to the table.

"Well?" whispered Embry.

"Don't even think it," I warned him.

"What's the deal with you two?" my sister asked, suspicion in her tone. What did she have against Bella?

"She's...my girlfriend, I guess," I said. It sounded weird to put a label on it like that. And 'girlfriend' didn't even begin to describe what Bella was to me. But 'reason for living' would just give them more ammunition.

"And you _slept_ with her? In _Sam's_ house?" Rachel asked incredulously.

"No! Well, yes, technically, but not like _that_," I said.

"Don't tell me you chickened out," teased Paul.

"Bella's better than that," I hissed said, glaring at him.

Sam came back to the table, and they all shut up, but I knew they'd be 'listening' in the second we phased. I was going to have to figure out a way to keep my mind off Bella. _I'm going to have to talk to Sam about that, _I thought.

The phone rang and Emily grabbed it. It was probably Charlie calling to make sure Bella was okay. Yep. Emily handed the phone to Bella.

"Jake, take my truck," said Sam, tossing me the keys. "Bella needs to get home when she's done eating."

_Thanks, Sam. I was hoping you'd ruin my morning. "_Okay."

"I don't need it till this afternoon, so if the two of you need to talk..."

Yes, I supposed we still needed to talk. It wasn't something I was looking forward to.

* * *

Bella didn't say anything on the way home, and that gave me time to try to get my thoughts together. We'd made up quickly last night, and I had managed to control myself even though she'd looked deliciously sexy in my shirt. But Sam was right. We needed to talk. What was I going to say? How was I supposed to bring it up? Why did I turn into a complete idiot every time I was with her?

How did girls talk about sex, anyhow? Did they have some cutesy name for it that guys weren't allowed to know? Probably. All I had was '_So, you've never slept with anyone?'_ and '_Ever get to third base?' _Yeah, that would earn me a good hard slap. Then again, maybe I didn't want to know.

_Why does she keep looking at me like that? She can't know what I'm thinking, can she? Act natural. Act natural. Act... Crap! We're here._

I pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine. At least she wasn't looking at me anymore. I walked her to the door, and she turned to me.

"Is it okay if I come in for a minute?" I asked. _Good one, Jake. Like you've ever needed to ask before. _

"Of course," she said, looking at me curiously. She was catching on.

I sat down on the sofa and propped my feet up, but Bella was just standing there, watching me.

"Ah, do you mind waiting while I take a shower and change?" she asked, looking a little nervous. "I'll be quick," she added.

"No, go ahead," I said, and she ran upstairs before I could say anything else.

At least I had more time to think. About Bella being naked just up the stairs. No, I was _supposed_ to be thinking about what to say. Maybe I didn't have to actually say it, seeing as how there was no way I could word it correctly. Maybe I there was another way.

What did I really need to know anyway? Just if Sam was right, if Bella really was a virgin. Was I even allowed to ask something like that? What did it matter if she was? No, that's not what I needed to know. That was just something I _wanted_ to know now that I knew it was a possibility. What I needed to know was if all the yelling and crying was because I was moving too fast. Or if there was something else that was wrong. How fast was I allowed to go, anyway? Now _there_ was a question I knew better than to ask. That would just make me sound like a jerk. Sam had told me to talk to her. The least he could have done was told me what to say. It was no use. I was doomed.

Bella came stumbling down the stairs and sat down---on the opposite end of the sofa.

"Maybe Charlie should consider selling this house," I said.

"What? Why?" she asked.

"You should be in a one-story, Bells. Those stairs are going to kill you," I laughed.

She didn't look so nervous anymore. Too bad I was. "We need to talk," I said.

She still didn't look nervous. Now she just looked scared.

"Hey, don't look so worried," I said, reaching for her hand. "And why are you sitting way over there?"

She moved closer, and I could hear her breathing getting shallower. Then her arm moved across her chest and pulled tightly, like she was trying to hold herself together. She was more than scared. She was in a full-on panic.

"Bells, stop it. Whatever you're thinking, _don't_. Nothing is wrong," I said, hoping words were enough to calm her down.

"Nothing?" she asked, like she didn't believe me.

"Nothing," I said.

She took a deep breath and loosened her hold on herself, but she didn't let go. It was all that bloodsucker's fault. Whatever he'd done to hurt her, the damage was permanent.

"He really screwed you up, didn't he?"

She shrugged, but didn't say anything. She just looked up at me with those deep brown eyes.

I exhaled slowly, and then said it before I lost my nerve. "We just never talked about...what happened."

* * *


	21. Discussions: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: DISCUSSIONS  
(Bella's POV)**

Still holding my hand, he wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me so close I was practically sitting in his lap. I took a deep breath and laid my head against his chest. Jacob cupped my chin and turned my face to his, planting the softest kiss on my lips. Then he simply smiled, and I could finally breathe. It was all going to be okay.

"Soooooo...can we talk about it?" he asked gently.

_Which 'it?'_ I wondered. _Days ago when you couldn't keep your hands off me, or last night when I didn't want you to? _I shrugged and leaned my head against his chest again. "Okay," I said.

"What Sam said...Is it true?" he asked.

He certainly wasn't starting with the easy questions.

"What exactly did Sam say?" I asked, hoping it wasn't as embarrassing as I had imagined.

"He said you...I...was moving too fast...physically."

Yes, it was just as embarrassing as I'd imagined. But this was Jacob, and I could tell him anything. Couldn't I? "Ah, maybe a little."

"So that's why you got _a little_ mad at me?" he asked, his voice tinged with amusement.

"Okay, maybe more than a little," I admitted.

"Because it's too soon? With us, I mean? Or because you've never..." he trailed off.

I was tempted to say "Never what?" but I caught myself. No matter how he filled in the blank, the answer was probably the same. "Both," I said quietly.

"I'm sorry," he said. He was quiet for a second, then he said, "Sorry because I rushed you, not sorry that you've never..." he trailed off, then whispered, "I'm actually happy about that part." His arms tightened around me and we sat in silence for several minutes. "Is it because the bl--_Edward_ couldn't...ah...do that with you or because you...didn't want to?"

I was wrong. He _had_ started with the easy questions. Now it was my turn to be silent as I tried to figure out how to answer him. Granted, the subject had come up, but not like it does in normal relationships. Instead of talking about when Edward and I would have sex, it had been a discussion about how it was impossible, assuming I didn't want to die. But what if it _had_ been possible? We'd been together for several months, which was a hell of a lot longer than a lot of people waited. And we were hopelessly in love---or so I had thought at the time---but the fact was that the possibility hadn't come up. I really had no idea how to answer him.

"Never mind. Don't answer that. I shouldn't have---"

"No, it's okay, Jacob. I just...I don't really know. It wasn't an option...we couldn't...I never had to think about it." It was an awkward thing to have to explain, and I was sure I wasn't making any sense. But at least I was trying to be honest.

"Oh," was all he said.

Then he turned my face up to his again, a mischievous grin playing across his lips. "So do you think about it now? With me?" he asked.

The blood rushed to my face, and I was sure I'd turned a new shade of red. I yanked my hand away from his, thinking I should be angry or embarrassed. Instead I couldn't help but laugh. "You really are a dog, Jake."

"Woof!"

* * *

After Jacob left, I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on everything I'd neglected during the week. Between loads of laundry I emailed Renee and finished my history paper. I folded clothes and cleaned out the refrigerator. I even ironed Charlie's uniforms, knowing he probably wouldn't have time after his long night and subsequent nap. I didn't want to vacuum while Charlie was sleeping, so I made out a grocery list and went to the store, returning home just in time to start dinner. All my tasks kept my hands busy but left my mind free to wander.

The talk with Jacob had played out more like a round of Twenty Questions, but that was to be expected. After all, I already knew he loved me, I already knew what he wanted, and our night together told me that now he was truly making an effort to rein himself in. If I'd just talked to him to begin with, instead of lashing out at him, he wouldn't have been left with so many questions. But at least now it felt like we'd reached an understanding of sorts. I only regretted two things: wasting so much of my spring break fighting with him, and not asking a few questions of my own. I had to admit I was a little curious now about Jacob's...prior experience.

But in the end, everything had turned out better than I could have hoped. Jacob loved me. I'd known that throughout our friendship, but I'd tried to ignore it, focusing instead on my feelings for Edward---not to mention the fact that Jacob was so young. But Edward was gone. It didn't hurt so much anymore to admit that. And Jacob didn't seem so young anymore, either. Gone was the infatuated teenager who had looked so boyish, with his innocent smile and playful ways. In his stead stood a paradox. His face bore the hardened lines of someone who had seen the unpleasant truth about the world, and his body was most certainly that of a grown man. But he was still impish and at times unsure. And over the past few days I'd seen more and more of the old Jacob, _my _Jacob, in his eyes.

"Smells good!" Charlie announced, coming into the kitchen.

"Doesn't it always?" I said grinning.

"Well,_ someone _sure is happy," he laughed. "You had a good time with Jake?"

I'd had a _wonderful_ time with Jake. Almost too wonderful thanks to his shirt, but I wasn't telling Charlie that. "Yes, Dad. I had a good time," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Good. Then you won't mind that I invited him and Billy to dinner," he said with a wink.

"What? When? Tonight?" I sputtered.

"We always have plenty of leftovers, Bells. It's not like there won't be enough for everyone."

He was right, of course, but I was still annoyed. Of course I was dying to see Jacob, but not with both Charlie and Billy as an audience.

* * *

Dinner hadn't been nearly as bad as I'd expected. Jacob had behaved himself for the most part, aside from the big kiss he planted on me---right in front of Charlie!---when he first arrived. Of course the food was good. I'd made a southwest chicken casserole, and Jake made quick work of what would normally have been several days worth of leftovers. Charlie and Billy were both watching us and grinning a little too much, but it was better than the disapproval I'd always felt when Edward was around. Even so, I was glad when it was over and they made their way to the living room to watch TV.

"You dry," I said to Jake, tossing a towel at him.

We gathered up the dishes and headed for the sink.

I managed to slosh dishwater everywhere, but we made quick work of it, and when we were done, he grabbed my hand.

"Come on," he said, leading me toward the door.

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked, glancing back at our dads and wondering if they'd even notice.

"You're quick, Bells," he laughed. "Just come on."

As soon as we got outside, he dropped my hand and walked over to the Rabbit, grabbing a bundle from the back seat. Before I could ask him what was going on, he was dragging me toward the backyard.

He spread a blanket out on the ground, sat down on it, and patted the spot beside him. As I lowered myself down next to him, I looked back at the house. We were positioned in perfect sight of the living room window, where Charlie and Billy could keep an eye on us. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

Jake stretched and leaned back to lie down, crossing his hands behind his head. I started to lie down, too, but before my head could touch the blanket, Jacob's arm was around me, pulling me to him. Being near the window was turning out to be a bad thing.

"Jacob, they can see us," I argued, trying to pull away. It was no use. Every time I pushed against him, he just drew me closer.

"Then I guess you'd better control yourself," he teased. "Oh, and I believe this is yours?" he said, handing me a bundle of fabric.

The shirt. The one smelled like him. The one that had very nearly gotten me in trouble. I hoped I wasn't blushing again. I relented and curled up against him, hugging the shirt to my chest. If Charlie was going to shoot us, it would be Jake's fault. And then I noticed the sky.

It was a rare sight, a cloudless sky in Forks. And it was beautiful. The stars shimmered across the black night, and the moon hung so full and low it felt like I could reach up and touch it. Its silver beams illuminated the yard and surrounding forest, casting a magical glow on everything they touched. A cool breeze floated over us, but I was warm lying there against Jacob.

"What did you think I was going to say?" he asked quietly.

"What? When?" I asked. _Did I miss something? What's he talking about?_

"Today, when I said we needed to talk. You looked really scared, Bells."

"Oh," I mumbled. I _had_ been scared. I'd been terrified.

"So what was it?" he prodded.

"I-I thought you were going to leave me."

He sat up suddenly, pulling me with him, and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. For a moment I thought he was angry, and then I saw his eyes. They were filled with confusion and disappointment.

"Why would you think that?" he asked.

"Because...well...it's just..." I stammered, searching for a way to put it into words, and then finding way too many at once. "Because I was so happy and you didn't even want Maria and I love you so much and I got to wake up next to you and you buttoned up my shirt--your shirt--even though I didn't know if I wanted you to and everything was so perfect and---"

"So you thought I was going to leave you because everything was perfect?"

"Yes. I mean no. I don't know Jake, " I sighed. "You know what they say. If it seems to good to be true..."

His face was suddenly close to mine, so close that with the slightest shift I would have been kissing him.

"I won't leave you, honey. I can't. I don't know how," he said, his eyes begging me to believe him.

"Promise?" I asked weakly. I knew I sounded like a frightened child, but I guess in a way I was.

"Promise," he said, leaning in for the kiss.

Too soon he pulled away and laid back down, pulling me against him again, and laughing quietly.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You are. Do you realize you just admitted you didn't want me to button you up?"

I didn't have to look at him to know there was a giant grin plastered across his face.

* * *


	22. Discussions: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN: DISCUSSIONS  
(Jacob's POV)**

I put an arm around her and pulled her closer. Her breathing began to return to normal, and I turned her face so I could see her eyes. She still looked a little worried, but then so was I----mostly that I'd sound like an ass.

"Soooooo...can we talk about it?" I asked.

She nodded and laid her head on my chest. At least she couldn't see how nervous I was.

"Okay," she said.

_Here goes nothing. _"What Sam said...Is it true?" I asked.

"What exactly did Sam say?"

_Damn. _"He said you...I...was moving too fast...physically."

"Ah, maybe a little."

_A little? I'd hate to see what she considers 'a lot.' _"So that's why you got _a little_ mad at me?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"Okay, maybe more than a little," she conceded.

Now I _wanted_ to know. I'd told myself if wasn't important, and maybe it wasn't, but I still wanted to know. "Because it's too soon? With us, I mean? Or because you've never..." I didn't know how to put it.

"Both," she said shyly.

She should have just hit me. It would have felt better. Instead, I was once again wracked with the same guilt I'd felt when Sam had talked to me about it. _No wonder she got so mad at me. _

"I'm sorry," I said, holding her tightly. "Sorry because I rushed you, not sorry that you've never..." This was where that cutesy word would have come in handy. But she knew what I meant. "I'm actually happy about that part," I admitted. Of course, now I had to ask, "Is it because the bl--_Edward_ couldn't...ah...do that with you or because you...didn't want to?"

That did it. She didn't say anything. It was too personal. She was going to think that's all I was interested in. I was an idiot for even asking.

"Never mind," I backpedaled. "Don't answer that. I shouldn't have---"

"No, it's okay, Jacob," she said, cutting me off. "I just...I don't really know. It wasn't an option...we couldn't...I never had to think about it."

"Oh," I mumbled. Not exactly the answer I was hoping for, but certainly not the one I was dreading. And then I couldn't help myself. I turned her face to mine again. "So do you think about it now? With me?"

She turned bright red and drew back swiftly. She was mad, but she was laughing. "You really are a dog, Jake."

"Woof!"

* * *

'The Talk' had gone well. I hadn't been slapped, yelled at, or cried on. It was kind of a first for us. I felt awful about those few moments when she'd looked so scared, though, and I really wished I knew what that was about. But at least now we were comfortable talking about things. Well, maybe comfortable wasn't the right word, but we'd talked---meaning I had asked a thousand questions and she'd answered them, and it made sense to me now. And I was so relieved to find out that she'd never slept with anyone. I knew it wasn't important. I really would have loved her just as much if she had. But there was something special in knowing that she hadn't. Bella and I were together, and we were happy, and the miscommunication problem was behind us. So when I got back to Sam's, I set out to tackle the other problem I had.

"Sam, I need some advice," I said.

"Talk to Emily," he said gruffly.

"Emily can't help with this."

"It's about Bella?"

"Yeah"

"Emily," he said.

"Sam!"

"What the hell, Jake? I got you to stop pawing at her. I let you sleep in the same bed with her. I even made her coffee---that decaf crap she likes."

"It's not just about Bella. It's about you and Emily, too."

"Fine. But after this, I'm done. Watch Oprah or something."

"So you'll help me?"

"Spit it out."

"How do you...you know, keep us from seeing things? Things between you and Emily?"

"Don't tell me you two---"

"No! I just...Bella's kind of...she wouldn't want them to know anything. I don't want them to know."

Sam didn't have any magic answer for me like I'd hoped. The only advice he could give me was to concentrate on other things. Like that was even possible. He did, however, offer to help me practice. We spent hours phased, me trying not to think of Bella, Sam trying not to laugh at me. By the time we were done, Sam knew every moment I'd ever spent with her, every thought I'd ever had about her, and even every fantasy I'd ever dreamed of her. Thank God Bella and I had ever done much more that kiss. But Sam handled it as only he could. He couldn't help but laugh at my frustration, but he didn't give me a hard time about anything I was thinking. By the time the sun was going down, I had actually had some success, and after a solid half hour of not projecting any thoughts of Bella at him, Sam called it quits and headed inside for dinner. My head was hurting, but I didn't care. At least I could protect Bella from more than just vampires.

* * *

I was on my way to Bella's. Sure, my dad was with me, but I didn't care. In just a few minutes we'd pull into her driveway, Dad & Charlie would disappear into the living room, and I'd have her all to myself.

I pulled up and parked at the curb, then ran around to help my dad out.

"Someone's in a hurry," he said, giving me an amused look, as he rolled to the door. It was all I could do not to shove him out of the way and go running in.

I walked in and saw only Bella. I'm sure my dad and Charlie were just a few feet away, probably looking at me like I was crazy. Hell, Charlie was probably loading his gun. But I only saw Bella.

She was standing in the kitchen and wearing one of those silly "kiss the cook" aprons while she wiped down the counters. _Well, she asked for it._ I grabbed her by the waist and spun her around. Before she could say anything, I was kissing her. It was hard to hold back, even with the chief of police standing there. I wanted to crush her against me and tangle my hands in her hair and never let go. But Dad's laughter and Charlie's throat-clearing reminded me we were not alone. Still, I wasn't disappointed.

Bella maintained a permanent blush all through dinner, picking at her food and self-consciously keeping her eyes on her plate. Dad seemed to be getting a kick out of it. I know I was. Even Charlie was smiling. But I was happier when everyone was done eating and we'd finished washing dishes.

"Come on," I said, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the door. I was so excited to see her again, to get some time with her, that I was acting like a kid at Christmas.

"Are we going somewhere?" she asked, sneaking a look back at the living room.

"You're quick, Bells," I laughed. "Just come on."

I walked over to the car and grabbed a blanket from the backseat. I also brought my shirt, the one she'd been wearing the night before, although I was trying my hardest not to think about how she'd looked in it, and I tucked it under my arm.

We walked to the back yard, and I spread out the blanket, patting the spot beside me for her to sit down. She hesitated for a second, then joined me. I stretched out and laid back, then grabbed her and pulled her down beside me. There was nothing graceful about the way she landed, but that's part of what was so perfect about her.

"Jacob, they can see us," she said, noticing we were in full view of the window. Of course, that was probably the one thing that kept Charlie from running out after us. I'd made sure he could keep an eye on us from his recliner. I had the feeling his gun was within reach.

"Then I guess you'd better control yourself," I laughed, not letting her pull away from me. "Oh, and I believe this is yours?" I said, handing her the shirt.

I couldn't see her face. But I could almost feel her blush as she went silent. She didn't say a word, but she curled up against me, clutching the shirt to her chest.

I was so happy I could barely contain myself. But there was one last thing nagging at me. Why had she been so scared before we talked earlier? She'd reacted just like she had back when the leech had hurt her, and I couldn't figure out why. She was with _me_ now, and I was doing everything I could _not_ to hurt her.

"What did you think I was going to say?" I whispered, hating that I had to ruin the moment.

"What? When?" she asked.

"Today, when I said we needed to talk. You looked really scared, Bells."

"Oh," she said. Then silence.

"So what was it?" I asked again.

"I-I thought you were going to leave me."

What?! Was she insane? I sat up quickly, pulling her up with me and turned her face to mine. She was serious! How could she be serious?

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

"Because...well...it's just...Because I was so happy and you didn't even want Maria and I love you so much and I got to wake up next to you and you buttoned up my shirt--your shirt--even though I didn't know if I wanted you to and everything was so perfect and---"

"So you thought I was going to leave you because everything was perfect?"

"Yes. I mean no. I don't know Jake," she sighed. "You know what they say. If it seems to good to be true..."

I leaned closer, feeling her breath against my lips. "I won't leave you, honey. I can't. I don't know how," I said.

"Promise?" she asked.

"Promise," I said, then I kissed her.

Remembering Dad and Charlie could see us, I stopped before I really wanted to and lay back again, keeping my arm wrapped around her. She settled against me and buried her face against my neck, just as I realized what she'd admitted.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

I hadn't even realized I was laughing. "You are. Do you realize you just admitted you didn't want me to button you up?"

I didn't have to see her face to know she'd never turned _that_ shade of red before.

* * *


	23. Comfort: Bella's POV

*****If you haven't already done so, read the short companion story GOSSIP before you read this chapter. Bella's about to skip lunch, and you don't want to miss out on what's happening while she's away.***  
**_I'm assuming you all know to just go to my profile for the link..._

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE: COMFORT  
(Bella's POV)**

I was never big on Mondays, but I especially hated this one. Spring break was over, and I had to go back to my school routine. Fortunately, the day went by quickly.

I skipped lunch completely, making an excuse about having to do a paper instead. I knew it was cowardly, but I just didn't want to deal with any of them...especially Lauren. I hadn't liked her much before, but after seeing her with Jacob, I was pretty close to hating her. My spring break with Jacob, despite the threat of death-by-vampire, had worked out so perfectly in the end, and having to leave it all behind for school was just depressing. Of course, I wasn't leaving it _all_ behind. I had more than enough to fuel some daydreams until I could get home and call Jake.

And daydream I did. In fact, I was so focused on thoughts of Jacob that I completely spaced out in Calculus. When Ms. Hunter called on me, I just stared at her, earning plenty of snickering from the rest of the class. Ms. Hunter just looked surprised and a bit disappointed, and I guess I couldn't blame her. I was usually her best student.

But the hardest part of my day was answering the dreaded "So what did you do on spring break?" question.

_Well, I kissed Jacob, then yelled at him and cried a lot. Then I went to a bonfire and watched him flirt with Lauren. Then Mike tricked me into a date and had the nerve to kiss me! Then I kissed Jacob (again) and tried to drive him away (again) but he wouldn't leave. Then his "boss" completely humiliated me by talking some sense into him, and I spent the night with him, but we behaved...sort of. Oh, and did I mention that he's a werewolf and he's protecting me from a vampire that's been stalking me because my ex-boyfriend (also a vampire) killed her mate? So, yeah, that was my spring break. What did you do?_

"A few bonfires. You know, nothing much," was my practiced answer. It's not like the people who asked really cared what I did anyway. Only Angela had any genuine interest.

"So you and Mike are together now?" she asked while we were walking to our last class of the day.

"No!" I replied a little too sharply. Seeing her hurt expression, I softened my tone and explained, "I mean, we hung out a little, but that's all. I really don't like him that way."

"Oh. Well, maybe someone should tell Jessica," she said, a worried expression on her face as she looked past me.

I glanced up, only to duck my head back down when I caught Jessica and Lauren glaring at me as we walked by. "I thought they broke up," I whispered.

"They did---often. But they always get back together. Probably because Jessica keeps harassing every girl who looks at Mike," Angela said laughing.

Great. As if Lauren's thinly veiled hatred for me wasn't enough. Now I had Jessica to deal with.

* * *

I muddled through the rest of my classes, though, and drove my ancient truck home as fast as it would go. The second I was in the door, I grabbed the phone and dialed.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Billy, is Jacob there?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like some lovesick schoolgirl. Of course, that's exactly what I was.

"_No, sweetie, I haven't seen him"._

"Oh, okay. Ah, thanks. Can you just tell him I called?"

"_Sure will. Bye"_

"Bye"

A strong arm snaked around my waist and the phone fell from my hand as a husky voice at my ear whispered, "You missed me."

Before my heart could start beating again, Jacob spun me around and captured my lips in the tenderest kiss. I'd wanted to yell at him or hit him or just do _something_ to him for having nearly scared me to death, but instead I found myself pressing closer to him. He was in no hurry to deepen the kiss, and I instantly forgot my indignation. When he finally pulled his lips from mine, he just smirked and said, "I missed you, too."

The door swung open, and I jumped back as Charlie walked in carrying a stack of files. He eyed Jacob as he made a show of removing his gun belt, then turned to me and asked, "Don't you have homework to do?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, Dad, I've only been back at school one day."

Charlie cast another sideways look at Jake then walked to the refrigerator to grab a beer. I glanced up at Jake and wasn't surprised to see he was smiling broadly. At least _I _had the good sense to look uneasy.

Charlie sat down at the kitchen table and started flipping through his papers. I felt a pang of guilt as I realized the work he'd brought home was all the information the police had on the still unsolved hiker deaths. I wished there was a way I could tell him who---and what---was really behind them, but I knew he would not only _not_ believe me, but probably send me to a shrink if I even tried. Jacob must have sensed my change in mood.

"Come on, Bells. Got any good movies?"

"Ah, yeah," I said, mentally prying my mind off Victoria.

"Well, go pick one," he said, nudging me toward the living room.

As Jacob sprawled out on the sofa, I dug through the small collection of videos we had stacked beside the TV. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Charlie had switched chairs, his new seat giving him a better view of the living room. I was going to have to talk to Jacob about his tendency toward blatant displays in front of my dad. While I knew Charlie approved of Jacob, I didn't want to test him.

Finally, I found the movie I was searching for and slipped it into the player. I grabbed the remote and tossed it at Jake, then went to sit beside him. He immediately grabbed me and pulled me closer, nuzzling my ear, which was just enough for Charlie to cough loudly, an unnecessary reminder that he was watching.

"Behave yourself!" I scolded, just as the movie was starting.

Two hours later Jacob was sound asleep, his head lolled back against the sofa and his arm wrapped tightly around me. I was so comfortable curled up against him, my head against his chest, that I would have dozed off myself had I not been so wrapped up in the movie. Charlie had come into the living room once, probably planning to sit in between us, but when he'd seen that Jacob was asleep, he'd just rolled his eyes and gone back to poring over his files.

"Jake," I said, poking him in the ribs. _Ouch_.

"Wha-? Oh, _thank God_ it's finally over," he said with a lazy grin. "There weren't even any car chases."

"Well, there was a fire," I said.

"Not a good one," he argued.

"Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books, and it's a perfectly good movie," I insisted.

"It's a _girl_ movie," he laughingly complained. "What did she see in that guy anyway?"

"He was _sweet_," I laughed, "Even if he was just a big ugly monster."

"I hear you've got a thing for monsters," he said suggestively as he pulled me in for a kiss.

Within seconds, Charlie was complaining about being hungry. Jacob excused himself, planting yet another kiss on in full view of Charlie before he left. I ignored Charlie's reddening face as I headed to the kitchen to make dinner.

* * *


	24. Comfort: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE: COMFORT  
(Jacob's POV)**

I had completely wasted my spring break. Instead of just spending it with Bella like I'd wanted to, I had spent most of it hunting a vampire, pissing off Bella, and maybe even stalking her a little thanks to that stupid Newton kid. At least everything had worked out in the end. Bella was with me now, and it was every bit as wonderful as I could have hoped. The only problem was that we went to different schools, so I had to go all day without seeing her. A simple transfer could fix that. Of course, then Bella would definitely think I was stalking her.

"If I didn't know better I'd swear you imprinted," said Paul, catching up with me.

Paul had imprinted on my sister over the weekend, and while he seemed thrilled about it, I just felt sorry for him. Rachel was moody and opinionated, and she'd probably already started bossing him around. He had no idea what he was in for.

"I don't need to imprint," I said. "Bella's already mine."

"Yeah, but what if it happens? What if you _do_ imprint and it's not her?" he asked.

"What's it like anyway?" I asked, ignoring his question. I was honestly curious. Imprinting was supposed to be rare, and the only other pack member who'd done it was Sam, but he didn't like to talk about it.

"Man, it's amazing. One second you think you have it all figured out, then you look at her, and nothing else matters. It's like she becomes your whole world."

"_My_ _sister_ is your whole world?" I asked a little disbelievingly.

"She's smart and she's funny and she's beautiful, and you wouldn't believe what it's like to kiss---"

"No!" I clapped my hands over my ears.

"I can't help it. She's just so perfect."

Apparently, imprinting made you blind and stupid, too.

"Sounds like you're whipped," I laughed.

"Sounds like you're jealous," he countered.

"Whatever. I got Bells, and you got a crazy woman," I joked, taking my seat.

"Maybe I like crazy," he whispered as Mrs. Rivers began class.

* * *

The day couldn't go by fast enough. I was supposed to be studying language, something our elders insisted on at Tribal School, but I was too anxious to see Bella. Spending the night with her had been my undoing. Holding her and feeling her next to me as I slept, waking up with her...it was all too perfect. I wanted nothing more than to spend every second with her now. And if I ran straight to her house after school, we'd probably get there at the same time.

As soon as the last bell rang, I raced outside, catching up with Quil and Paul at the tree line. As soon as we got into the forest and out of sight, we phased. Carrying all our clothes in our mouths was no fun, but it beat the alternative. We couldn't get away without shoes and shirts at school. Embry had tried it once, even going so far as to argue that he was simply dressing as our ancestors had done. He spent the next several days working on an essay about traditional Quileute clothing.

"_Where's Embry?" _I asked.

"_He's doing that Insight thing," _said Paul.

"_Online school? When did that happen?" _Embry hadn't said anything to me about that.

"_Last week. You were too busy chasing Bella to notice. He couldn't get enough sleep with and keep his grades up, so his mom enrolled him." _

"_Yeah, he'll probably graduate early now," _Paul added.

"_Garage?" _Quil asked.

Now that we were together again in the pack, we'd taken to hanging out in my garage again after school. It was the only place we could go where there was no Sam and no parents. When we were there, it felt like nothing had ever changed, like _we_ had never changed. Plus, it was where Quil had stashed his magazines so his mom wouldn't find them.

"_Not today"_ I said.

"_And you say I'm whipped."_

We broke into full sprints and I headed east into Forks. Staying hidden during daylight was a bit of a challenge, but it was a small town with lots of trees. It was a longer trip, sticking to only the places where there was sufficient cover, but when I was phased, a few extra miles were nothing. I could make out her house through the woods that crept up to her back yard, so I stopped to phase back and get dressed.

Bella's truck was outside, the engine still popping loudly, so I knew she'd only been home a few minutes. Just as I got to the door, I heard her.

"Hey, Billy, is Jacob there?" she was asking.

She had a bad habit of leaving the door unlocked, and this time was no different. I walked in, expecting her to be happy to see me, but she had her back to me. I heard her disappointment as Dad told her I wasn't home, and realized she didn't know I was there. I'd forgotten how quietly I walked since I'd changed. This would be fun.

Just as she was hanging up the phone, I slipped an arm around her and pulled her toward me. She let out a gasp and the phone clattered on the countertop. "You missed me," I said.

She jerked around, probably ready to yell at me for scaring her, but I kissed her before she could say anything. Her arms slipped around my neck as she pulled herself closer to me. I'd been waiting all day for this, to hold her, to taste her. Her soft lips parted and her tongue teased mine, but I resisted the urge to get carried away. God, I'd missed her.

I could hear Charlie's cruiser pull up outside, and he was fumbling with his keys. How could he not know that Bella never locked anything? As much as I hated to, I pulled my lips from hers. She was breathless and looked dazed, and I couldn't hold back a smile. "I missed you, too," I said.

Of course, that's when Charlie came barging in. Bella jumped back---like he wouldn't notice that blush. And he noticed. He stared at me while he pulled off his gun belt---as if a gun could keep me away from his daughter.

He hassled Bella about some homework, then sat down and started going over some casework he'd brought home with him. Victoria's victims. Bella seemed to notice, too.

"Come on, Bells. Got any good movies?" I asked, trying to distract her.

"Ah, yeah," she said absently.

"Well, go pick one." I told her. _That_ was a mistake.

Bella was more interesting than the movie. At first, she sat about a foot away from me, probably because Charlie was watching us like a hawk. But what was he going to do? Shoot me? So I pulled her close and teased her until she insisted I behave, and then I just watched her. Her lips would part, or she'd get that little "v" between her brows, or she'd look sad or thoughtful or happy. Every time the scene changed, Bella's expression changed. She felt every word that was spoken. I'd seen those looks a thousand times, but I watched her anyway--- until the boring accents put me to sleep.

I woke up to her jabbing her finger in my side. But at least I woke up to her pretty face.

"Wha-? Oh, thank God it's finally over," I said. "There weren't even any car chases."

"Well, there was a fire," she said, as if that made a difference.

"Not a good one."

"Jane Eyre is one of my favorite books, and it's a perfectly good movie," she pouted. Now it made sense...sort of. Bella had a ton of books, but I'd never seen her read any of them. I wondered if Edward ruined that for her too.

"It's a _girl_ movie," I laughed. "What did she see in that guy anyway?"

"He was sweet," she said. "Even if he was just a big ugly monster."

"I hear you've got a thing for monsters," I said, catching her lips for a kiss.

Charlie took that as his cue to interrupt, of course, and Bella got up to make dinner. I needed to get home anyway. I was probably late for patrol. But I couldn't leave without kissing her goodbye...and it wasn't _my_ fault Charlie was standing right there watching us.

* * *


	25. Disturbance: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: DISTURBANCE  
(Bella's POV)**

The next day at school was supposed to be a little better. I'd had a long talk with myself the night before, deciding that I didn't want to be that girl, the one who was so obsessed with her boyfriend that she couldn't function away from him. I loved Jacob, but there was no reason to be so consumed with him that I couldn't get through a school day.

That had always been a problem with Edward. On sunny days, he'd had to ditch school, leaving me to suffer through the hours alone. I'd gotten so used to seeing him all day every day that I'd grown to dread those times when the clouds disappeared. But my relationship with Jacob was different. Even when we were just friends, we'd always made time for each other after school or work...or patrolling for vampires. We didn't have to spend every second together...even if I really wanted to. And that was healthier, right? I would just have to keep telling myself that.

I fumbled my way through my morning classes, working hard to pay attention to the lessons, and while my thoughts often wandered to Jacob, I managed to answer correctly when called on and, more importantly, not injure myself (or anyone else) in gym. Of course, classes were a breeze when compared to lunch.

Like yesterday, Angela caught me in the hall before lunch, and this time I didn't make any excuses. We walked together to the lunchroom, idly chatting in line about things of no consequence. It was nice, and for a few minutes, I felt like my life was actually normal. Jessica got a salad, and I grabbed some pizza and a soda. I actually managed not to trip or drop anything on my way to the table. Eric was sitting at the next table over, and he appeared to be arguing with Katie. Tyler was sitting with them, looking horribly uncomfortable. Then I looked over at our table. Of the four open seats, one was next to Ben, and the other two were directly across from Lauren and Jessica. I had the feeling I would have been better off joining Tyler. Why was it that Jessica was so easily infected by Lauren's spitefulness?

As Angela took the seat next to Ben, I briefly considered sitting at the other table. But after barely speaking to anyone for so many months, I was lucky to still have a group to sit with. So I squared my shoulders and took a seat.

"There's my girl," said Mike, taking the empty chair beside me and casually throwing an arm around me. He planted a wet kiss on my temple, just as I was taking a bite of my pizza. I sputtered and coughed, but my fear having to suffer the Heimlich maneuver at his hands saved me from choking. I shrugged his arm off and gave Angela a pleading look.

"So, Lauren," Angela said, "Have you talked to that cute boy again?"

I mouthed 'thank you' at her and took another bite, turning to Lauren and feigning interest.

"Of course," she said with a smug smile. She looked at each of us, as if waiting for some kind of awed reaction, and then said "Jake is going to take me for a ride on his motorcycle this weekend."

My breath caught sharply, sucking down the bite of pizza with it, and this time I really was choking. Jake? _My Jacob?!_

Mike seized the opportunity to touch me again, patting me on the back and chuckling as strained tears filled my eyes.

"I'm---okay---fine," I gasped as I managed to take in some oxygen. All conversation had stopped, and all eyes were on my very red face.

Lauren was scowling at me again, clearly angry that my display had taken the focus off her. Angela and Ben were looking on curiously, as Mike's patting became rubbing. Jessica was simply looking from him to me and mimicking Lauren's glare. I awkwardly pushed Mike's hand away, and returned Lauren's scathing look.

"You were saying?" I prompted, my tone not nearly as light as I'd intended.

Lauren's fuming turned into something of a sneer and she continued. "Well, some of us...," She paused to give me another pointed look, "...had a very productive spring break."

_She'd better not mean what I think she means._

"Well, Bella and I had a _productive_ spring break too, didn't we?" said Mike. I winced at the collective, but at least this time he had more sense than to put his arm around me.

"Mine was okay, I guess," I replied. I'd correct Mike's delusional train of thought later. Right now, I just wanted Lauren to explain herself. "I didn't do much," I said to her, hoping she'd seize the opportunity to brag about hers.

"That's not what it looked like at the party," Jessica said accusingly.

"Yeah, you weren't there when Jake and I left," Lauren added. "What did you do?"

I should have said something. I should have at least tried to answer her. I should have slapped her. But instead, I just sat there staring with my mouth open. She left with Jake?

"Ah, Bella...," Angela interrupted. "We should probably go. I need to get those notes from you..."

It was a nice gesture, but no one was fooled. I was sitting there slack-jawed while Angela made a rather obvious attempt to give me a graceful exit. But nothing I'd done had ever been graceful.

"Yeah...ah...notes," I mumbled as I stood and gathered my things. My Chemistry notes went flying, stopped only by the soda can they knocked over. Good thing it was almost empty. I hastily grabbed up the wet papers and shoved them in a folder, not caring that they were still dripping.

Lauren looked too pleased with herself, and Jessica just looked confused. I didn't say a word as I stalked off, Angela's footsteps falling in behind my own.

"What was _that_?" Angela asked as soon as we were in the hallway.

"Is she talking about Jacob Black?" I asked, ignoring her question.

"I don't know his last name," Angela said. "He's a Quileute, and I think he's a lot older than us, if that helps," she said, the confused concern on her face doing little to calm me.

"Older...because he's so big?"

"Yeah, he's probably at least twenty," she said. "Bella, what's going on?"

"I think she's talking about my...boyfriend."

And that's what I loved about Angela. Instead of launching a million questions at me, she just gave me a sympathetic smile and walked silently down the hall with me.

* * *

I wasn't able to concentrate on anything all afternoon. All I could do was watch the clock, anxious for the school day to be over so I could... do what? What was I supposed to do? Confronting Lauren was a miserable idea. She would enjoy that far too much, especially if my suspicions were correct. Then again, maybe she wasn't talking about _my_ Jacob. Maybe there was another Quileute named Jake. Who owned a motorcycle. And met Lauren over spring break. My Jacob and my enemy---I certainly couldn't call her my friend---had been together at Mike's beach party, had left together, and had done God knows what together after that.

I should have asked Angela about it. She might know something. But Angela wasn't one to gossip, and if it were bad news, she would only try to soften it too much for me. I tried not to think about it, but that just made me think about it more. Jacob had been so...eager the first time we kissed. And Lauren had a certain reputation. When combined, it was a nauseating prospect. I finally gave up and did something I knew would come back to bite me: I skipped class.

* * *


	26. Disturbance: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN: DISTURBANCE  
(Jacob's POV)**

I don't even remember my alarm going off. All I know is that when I woke up there was a pile of smashed plastic and wires on my nightstand, and I'd probably missed my first several classes. Having all this extra strength was getting to be a problem. I rolled over and closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep, back to my dreams of Bella. But it was no use. I got up and pulled on some shorts, and I made my way to the kitchen to scrounge up some food. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table with the sports page.

"Killed another one?" he asked. He was getting used to the short life spans my alarm clocks suffered.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"There's some leftover pizza," he said. At least he wasn't giving me a hard time about missing school.

I dug around and found it buried at the bottom of the fridge. I grabbed the box and sat down with him at the table. One nice thing about it being just us guys was that nobody cared whether or not you used a plate.

"It's about time you got up," Rachel said, sitting down next to me.

_Damn. Woman in the house. _"Are you _ever_ going back to school?" I asked her. She'd come home for spring break, but she should have been gone by now.

"Dad, I need to talk to you about something," she said, completely ignoring me.

With raised eyebrows, Dad looked up over his paper.

"I've decided to stay in La Push," she announced.

"What about school?" he asked, dropping the paper.

"I'm going to transfer," she said. "All my credits are good at Peninsula College. Besides, WSU is so far away from home. If I transfer, I can be closer to Paul. And you guys."

Like she cared about being closer to "us guys."

"So you're moving back in?" I asked. _No. Please, no._

"Not exactly..." she said nervously.

I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

"You are _not_ moving in with that boy!" Dad bellowed.

"Dad, no!" she exclaimed. "Actually I thought I could move into the old house."

The 'old house' was the first house my parents had after they got married. It was tiny--just one bedroom--so they had to build a bigger place when Mom found out she was pregnant with the twins. It was still there, just behind the big patch of trees in our backyard, and it was in _really_ bad shape. Most of the shingles were missing, and all the windows were broken. Quil and I had even kicked a bunch of holes in one of the walls. Karate or something.

"That house is practically condemned," Dad said, still a little red in the face.

I was pretty sure we'd taken off all the doors, too, although I couldn't remember what we'd done with them.

"That's okay," Rachel said. "Jake can help me fix it up."

"Oh, no! You're not dragging me into this," I said. "You just want it so you can sneak Paul in at night."

Rachel gave me a death glare and I grinned back at her. I'd ruined her big plan.

"Jake's right," Dad said. "If you want your boyfriend to spend the night, you can pay for your own apartment in town."

"But, Dad---" Rachel whined.

"No! You either pay for your own place or you live here. Your choice."

Rachel huffed and pouted. For a few seconds, she even looked like she was trying to make herself cry, but Dad just picked up the paper and ignored her. A car horn punctuated the conversation, and Dad mumbled something about Sue Clearwater, then he left.

* * *

I was sitting on the sofa trying to come up with something to do. The great thing about missing school was that I didn't have to deal with teachers. The bad part was that there was no one to talk to. I looked at the clock. Four more hours until school was out. Four more hours before I'd see Bella.

I tried calling Embry, but he said he was taking a test. I couldn't phase, either. With my luck, Sam would be phased, and then I'd have to listen to an hour-long lecture about the importance of a good education. Not that he had any room to talk. He'd dropped out of school four years ago, when he was sixteen, and it looked like he'd done pretty well for himself in spite of no diploma. He had a good truck, a nice little house, and Emily.

"It'll never work," Rachel suddenly said.

"What?"

"The old house," she said. "Bella won't do it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Face it, Jake. She's used to nice things. She won't want to live in a tiny house on a _poor_ _reservation," _she said.

"You're just mad 'cause Dad won't let you shack up with Paul. This has nothing to do with Bella," I said.

"Oh, yes, it does." she insisted. "You want that house for yourself so Bella can move in with you."

"No, I don't," I argued. But now that she mentioned it...

"Whatever. You know she'll hate it."

"Bella doesn't care about money."

"_All_ girls care about money, Jake. Think about it. She lives in that nice two-story house with her dad. Her mom travels around the country with her step dad--who plays professional baseball! Her dad even bought her a vehicle as a welcome home present. _And _she dated a Cullen. Everyone knows they're made of money."

"Shut up, Rach. You don't even _know_ her!"

"I know enough! She's not like us, Jake. What do you think she's gonna do when she finds out what you are?"

"She already knows what I am, and she doesn't care," I said smugly.

"Sure, that's what she says now. What about when she goes off to college and meets some nice guy who _doesn't_ turn into a dog? You can't even afford to take her on a real date."

I flipped on the TV and turned the volume up uncomfortably loud, and eventually she left the room. She was wrong. Bella didn't care about the werewolf thing. In fact, I thought she liked it. It meant I could protect her, and she didn't have to keep the whole Cullens being vampires thing a secret anymore. And I knew Bella didn't care about money. Yeah, Charlie had bought her a vehicle, but not a nice one. He'd bought her Dad's old, rusty, slow truck, and Bella loved it.

But Rachel was right about one thing. Not caring about money and not having any were two completely different things. I couldn't give Bella what she deserved. I couldn't even afford to order a pizza and rent a movie. How was I supposed to give her the life she deserved if I couldn't even buy her dinner? Even if Dad did give me the old house, it was too small and too falling apart for Bella. Not that it mattered. Hell, we'd barely started dating. We were nowhere near planning a future...even if I couldn't imagine a future without her.

"Soap operas? Seriously, Jake?" Embry asked, cutting short my reflections.

Crap. I was so busy thinking I hadn't even noticed what was on the TV.

"I must have dozed off," I said, hoping he'd buy it.

"Or maybe you've gone soft on me, now that you're all _in loooooove,_" he said laughing.

"Finish your test?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, it was easy. Garage?"

* * *

We spent the next few hours messing around in the garage. I'd changed the oil and spark plugs in the Rabbit, and he'd perched himself on my bike, laughing and cracking jokes every time he turned the page in one of Quil's magazines.

"Here," he said, throwing one at me.

"Don't want it," I muttered, throwing it back.

"You need it," he laughed. "Consider it a study guide."

"Not necessary," I said, dropping it on top of the toolbox.

"What? You got another way to know what she wants?" he asked.

"I don't think _that's _what she wants."

"You say that _now," _he said. "Wait till you get her alone and don't know what to do," he teased.

"I think I can figure it out."

"Okay, man. Don't come crying to me when Bella's all disappointed."

"You screwed up again?" asked Quil, walking in with Paul and Seth on his heels.

"Not yet, but he will!" Embry said.

* * *


	27. Curiosity: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: CURIOSITY  
(Bella's POV)**

Jake would probably be home by the time I got there. He'd never said it, but I assumed he ran home---in wolf form---instead of driving. With his speed, my sluggish truck, and the distance to La Push, skipping my last class was about the only way I'd ever get to his house when he did. And sure enough, he was there...along with half the pack. Embry and Seth were out front when I pulled in.

"Bella! What are you doing here?" asked Seth as I got out of my truck.

"Looking for Jake," I snapped, brushing past him to get to the front door.

"Un-oh," I heard Embry say, followed by laughter.

I didn't bother knocking, so when I swung open the door to step inside, I nearly ran into Rachel. Surprise, then annoyance lit in her eyes.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she asked, her tone not nearly as friendly as Seth's had been.

"I-I need to see Jacob," I said, a little of my angry determination slipping away beneath her withering look.

"Jake, you have a visitor!" she called out, never taking her eyes from mine.

She was instantly shoved out of the way, and I was caught up against a very warm, very broad chest. For once, he didn't try to crush me, and my lungs were filled with his earthy, salty, heavenly scent. I completely forgot why I'd rushed over to see him.

"Hey, cut it out!" Rachel complained loudly.

I felt my feet hit the floor again, and Jacob kept one arm around my waist as he pulled me inside.

"What'd you do? Skip school?" he teased.

"Ah, yeah, actually..." I admitted.

He looked shocked for about half a second, and then broke out into a huge grin. "Good. Saves me a trip. I was gonna see if you wanted to go with me to Sam's tonight."

"It's not another bonfire, is it?" Not that I minded, but there _had_ to be something else to do around here.

"No, we're just hanging out. Unless you want to hang out with your dad and force me to watch something with accents or subtitles or something," he laughed.

"I don't know," I said, but it didn't come out as lightly as I'd intended. My purpose in coming here was distorting my tone.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, concern clouding his face. "Did Rachel say something to you?" He raised his head and looked around the room, then yelled, "Rachel! Did you---?"

"Jacob!" I cut him off. "I just...I need to ask you about something," I explained.

"Okay. Shoot."

"Ah, maybe somewhere private?" This wasn't something I wanted to announce to the whole pack.

"My room?" he suggested.

"I don't think a wall provides much privacy with this crowd," I said. Werewolves could hear almost as well as vampires.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he conceded. "Ah...well...damn," he said, defeated. Then suddenly he was yelling across the room again. "Hey Embry! Come here!"

"What's up?" Embry asked, his gaze flicking between

"Can you get everyone out of here? I need to talk to Bells," he said, getting a curious look from Embry in return. "I'll catch up with you guys at Sam's, okay?"

"Sure," Embry said, turning his curious look to me before heading over to talk to Rachel.

Jacob looked down at me. "Bells, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said weakly.

"Are _we_ okay?" he asked. I could tell he was worried, and the fear in his eyes was chipping away at my resolve.

"Yeah," I said, this time a little more convincingly. "It's nothing," I assured him. "We'll talk when they're gone."

"Okay, I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick," he said before kissing me on the forehead. He gave me another worried look and said, "I'll be right back."

I sat down on the sofa and tried to wait, but I was too restless to sit still. I paced through the living room, looking at the odd collection of knickknacks and old photos scattered around the room. There was no obvious order to things; nothing matched. This was clearly a house that needed some feminine touches. I wondered if Rachel would take care of that.

It was several minutes before Embry managed to herd everyone out the door. I wasn't surprised when I only heard one car engine start up outside. After all, the pack was probably running.

My wandering led me into Jacob's room, and I smiled when I saw the unmade bed and the loose CDs piled around his old stereo. It was practically impossible to walk through the clutter. I kicked a little trail through the sea of clothing littered about and sat down at the foot of his bed.

Did it really matter if he'd...done something with Lauren? It's not like Jacob and I had been together then. Sure, we had kissed, but then I had done everything I could to push him away. I'd been avoiding him, ignoring him, basically too angry with him to think straight. Even after Mike's beach party, I had convinced myself that Jacob and I should just be friends. If I'd stuck to my guns, for all I knew he really would be with Lauren right now. Talk about a sickening thought.

Why was I so jealous? I had no right to be, especially after all the consideration Jacob had shown me. He'd stuck by my side, quietly picking up the pieces, always voicing concern instead of complaints through all the time that I'd been mourning my relationship with Edward. It was selfish of me to expect him not to find someone. But why did that someone have to be Lauren, the one person in the world who wanted nothing more than to make my life miserable?

I heard the water turn off, and I waited. I had no idea what to say. There just wasn't a right way to ask a question like this. But I had to know, even if I had no idea what I would do with the knowledge when it came.

"You know, when I've pictured you in my bed, you weren't wearing so many clothes," he said.

I looked up to see Jacob filling the doorway. When I didn't laugh, his dark eyes filled with concern, highlighted by his furrowed brow. But it wasn't his expression that I found so unsettling. It was everything else. His hair was wet, jet black tendrils curling around his face and trailing down his thick neck. He'd tossed a towel over his shoulders, but it wasn't doing its job. Beads of water still slipped down his chest, grazing over each perfectly outline muscle, slipping down his flawlessly sculpted abs, slowly heading toward his waist. My eyes followed the droplets to down to his faded jeans, carelessly left unbuttoned and hanging low on his hips. As soon as I realized I was staring, I dropped my gaze to the floor. No wonder Lauren wanted him. My chest ached, and it took me a few seconds to realize I'd forgotten to breathe.

He stepped over to the bed and leaned in close, his lips brushing my ear as he whispered, "I believe you wanted to talk."

"Um, yeah," I managed to squeak out.

He sat down next to me, taking my hand and looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I was too busy marveling at the size of his hand, the definition of his forearm, the way his copper skin made mine appear almost translucent. I glanced up at him to find he was still watching me, patiently waiting. There was no point in beating around the bush.

"What happened between you and Lauren?" I asked, staring at the floor.

"Who's Lauren?" he asked.

"From the beach? You were...with her?"

"Oh, yeah," he laughed. "That was her name."

I fought the wave of nausea that reared up. Either I was making a big deal out of nothing, or he was just that casual about it. I really hoped it was the former.

"Well?" I asked.

He opened his mouth to say something, and then stopped, just staring intently at me for a few seconds. His eyes narrowed. "What do you _think_ happened?"

"I don't know," I faltered. "Lauren's kind of...she doesn't exactly take things slow."

I felt my face turning red, and I dropped my gaze to our hands again. I'd been angry when I'd gotten here, but something about the way he was looking at me had taken the wind out of my sails. Now I was just floundering. This was even more uncomfortable than the talk we'd had at my house. His grip on my hand tightened, and his other hand came to rest on top of it.

"No, Bella, I didn't sleep with her," he said, startling me with his bluntness. "I only talked to her because you were with Newton. _Nothing_ happened."

"Oh," I said, feeling even more foolish than relieved.

"Sam helped me get rid of her, and then I went looking for you," he explained.

I should have dropped it. I shouldn't have pressed. But I did. "She said you're going riding with her this weekend. On your bike."

"And you _believed_ her?" he asked, starting to sound a little mad.

"I don't know...I guess," I muttered, getting up and walking out into the living room. This was getting too awkward, and I was feeling too stupid. Here I'd thought Jacob was cocky before, and I'd just given him enough ammunition to torment me mercilessly for the next twenty years. "Shouldn't we be getting to Sam's?" I called over my shoulder.

I should have known better. Jacob's silent steps had put him just inches behind me.

"Bella, look at me," he said.

I turned around and tried, but the second we made eye contact, I felt even worse. He was so good to me, and I'd just practically accused him of cheating. Even though, technically I guess, it wouldn't have been cheating. Still, I'd made a huge deal out of nothing, choosing to believe Lauren's lies when I should have known to trust Jake.

I turned toward the door again, hoping we could just go to Sam's and forget about what an idiot I was, but he stopped me. His hands grabbed my waist, pulling me to close those few inches between us, my back against his chest. His arms slipped around me, and I felt his breath in my hair.

"It's okay, Bells," he said against my ear.

"What is?" I asked stupidly.

"That you asked," he whispered.

I felt my lips curve into a smile and I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against his chest. He wasn't mad at me. And for once, he wasn't teasing me.

* * *


	28. Curiosity: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN: CURIOSITY  
(Jacob's POV)**

Just a little bit longer, and I could leave for Bella's. Any earlier, and I'd just be stuck waiting in her yard---or sneaking in with the spare key. You'd think the chief of police wouldn't leave a key in such an obvious place, but maybe he just thought no one was dumb enough to break into a cop's house. I was pretty sure that one of these days I was going to be _exactly_ that dumb.

In the meantime, I had company. Quil had gone home to study, but Paul was glued to my sister, and Embry and Seth were horsing around in the front yard. We were all going to Sam's to hang out. Emily had rented a movie, and it was a perfect excuse to see Bella without Charlie breathing down my neck. I kind of liked it when Charlie was around---he was fun to torment. But Bella was always a little distant when he was there, and I missed being close to her. Of course, if I was planning to be close to her, I needed to take a shower and change into something not covered in car grease.

That's when the door opened.

"I-I need to see Jacob." It was Bella and she sounded nervous. No wonder. Rachel was standing in the doorway like she wasn't going to let her in.

"Jake, you have a visitor!" she yelled, but I was already there.

I pushed past her and swept Bella up into my arms. She was beautiful, she was mine, and she was here. I never wanted to let her go.

I heard Rachel say, "Hey, cut it out!"

Not that I cared what Rachel thought, but any second now Bella was going to tell me she couldn't breathe. I set her back down but didn't let go. With one arm still around her, I pulled her inside.

"What'd you do? Skip school?" I asked. I hadn't been planning on leaving for another thirty minutes, and I knew Bella couldn't have driven that fast.

"Ah, yeah, actually..." she said.

Really? Bella skipped school just to see me? I never would have expected that, but I certainly wasn't going to complain. Every minute I got with her was worth it. "Good. Saves me a trip. I was gonna see if you wanted to go with me to Sam's tonight."

"It's not another bonfire, is it?"

I had to laugh. Bonfires _were_ kind of our thing. "No, we're just hanging out. Unless you want to hang out with your dad and force me to watch something with accents or subtitles or something."

"I don't know," she said, suddenly sounding unhappy.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

She looked pale---well, paler than usual, and she kept looking away. Maybe Rachel had done something. "Did Rachel say something to you?" Where was Rachel anyway? "Rachel! Did you---"

"Jacob!" Bella said, grabbing my arm. "I just...I need to ask you about something."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Ah, maybe somewhere private?"

This couldn't be good. Not if she was worried about privacy. And chewing on her bottom lip like that.

"My room?" I asked.

"I don't think a wall provides much privacy with this crowd," she said.

She was right. The pack would probably hear every word we said, even if we shut the door and whispered.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, trying to think of somewhere else we could talk. "Ah..." Outside was just as bad as in my room. "Well..." The garage was off limits because I was pretty sure those stupid magazines were still lying around. "Damn," I said. There was no way to get any privacy unless everyone left. "Hey Embry! Come here!"

"What's up?" Embry asked, looking back and forth between Bella and me. Even he could see something wasn't right.

"Can you get everyone out of here? I need to talk to Bells. I'll catch up with you guys at Sam's, okay?"

He looked like he wanted to ask what was going on, but I guess he knew better. He started making the rounds, and I turned back to Bella.

She looked even more nervous than before. She was quiet, and even though I had my arm around her, she was holding herself away from me, as if she was going to pull away completely. I knew she wouldn't give me a real answer until everyone was gone, but I had to ask.

"Bells, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said automatically.

_Liar._ "Are _we_ okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's nothing. We'll talk when they're gone."

It wasn't nothing. That much was obvious. But there was nothing I could do until I knew what was going on. And I wasn't going to find that out until everyone left---which they didn't seem like they were in any hurry to do.

"Okay, I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick," I said.

She didn't respond at all. She just kept looking around at everyone else, everything else, everywhere but _me_.

I kissed her on the forehead. "I'll be right back," I said.

I turned on the water and got in before it had a chance to heat up. I could hear everyone else leaving, and then I just heard Bella. It sounded like she was pacing.

What was going on with her? She'd said we were okay, and I knew I should believe her, but it didn't _feel_ okay. It wasn't that same panic I'd seen when she thought I was going to leave her. It was different, like she was mad or scared or disappointed. But nothing had happened since I'd left her last night---that I knew of---and she was _happy_ then.

I hoped it wasn't about the bloodsucker. I knew better than to ask if she was over him, but I thought things were at least better. She didn't have that pained look anymore. She'd started watching TV and movies again. She'd even mentioned not being able to hear him, whatever that meant. One of these days, I was going to have the guts to ask her. But she seemed happy with me. This just didn't make sense.

The water was just beginning to warm up, but I was done. I grabbed a towel and dried off just enough to pull my jeans on. I was just too anxious to waste any more time.

Bella wasn't in the living room when I got out. And she wasn't in the kitchen either. Had she left? I thought I would have heard the door. Maybe she'd just gone ahead to Sam's with the others. But that couldn't be right. Had she just decided not to talk to me after all?

Then I saw her. She was sitting on the end of my bed staring at the floor. _I should have cleaned my room. _Her shoulders were slumped and she was still chewing on her lip, looking miserable.

"You know, when I've pictured you in my bed, you weren't wearing so many clothes," I joked.

She didn't even smile. She just stared at me as if she'd never seen me before. Normally I would have made some crack about how much she wanted me, but I suddenly didn't feel like laughing. And now I wasn't sure she wanted me at all. Her face was just blank.

I walked over to the bed and leaned in close to her. I was going to kiss her, but she didn't even raise her head. She just went back to staring at the floor.

"I believe you wanted to talk," I said.

"Um, yeah," she replied nervously.

I heard her take a deep breath as I sat down next to her. Whatever she was about to say, it wasn't going to be good. I just had to make sure I handled it right. If I said the wrong thing, Quil would be right. I _would_ screw up again. So I held her hand and waited.

"What happened between you and Lauren?" she asked suddenly.

"Who's Lauren?" Was I supposed to know her? And what did she have to do with us?

"From the beach? You were...with her?" she said, a warm blush creeping over her cheeks.

"Oh, yeah," I laughed. That annoying blonde girl who wouldn't leave me alone. "That was her name."

"Well?" Bella asked impatiently.

Was that what was bothering her? Sure, I'd wanted her to be jealous at the time, but not _now_. Not a week later. This didn't make any sense at all. Why wouldn't she have asked me about this last week? I started to say something, but then it dawned on me. She'd asked _what_ happened, not _if_ something happened. She had already come to her own conclusions.

"What do you think happened?" I asked.

"I don't know," she said quietly, blushing even more. "Lauren's kind of...she doesn't exactly take things slow." She couldn't even look me in the eye.

So _that_ was it? I didn't know whether to laugh or get mad. The idea of anything happening between Lauren and me was ridiculous. And the fact that Bella actually believed it was even worse. But it certainly explained why she was acting this way. She was mad at me...or disappointed in me...or both. And it wasn't fair at all.

"No, Bella, I didn't sleep with her," I said, unable to hide my irritation. "I only talked to her because you were with Newton. _Nothing_ happened."

"Oh," was all she said.

Oh? I tell her I didn't sleep with someone and all she says is 'Oh?' "Sam helped me get rid of her, and then I went looking for you," I explained.

"She said you're going riding with her this weekend. On your bike," she said, still refusing to look at me.

"And you _believed_ her?" This was getting ridiculous. She couldn't be that insecure. Why didn't she trust me?

"I don't know," she practically whispered. "I guess."

Before I could even react, she'd stood up and was walking away.

"Shouldn't we be getting to Sam's?" she asked, as she stepped out into the living room.

No. We weren't going anywhere. Not until I _knew_ we were okay.

"Bella, look at me," I said, following her.

She turned around, looking at me for just a second, and then turned to walk away again. But she was so easy to read, and I'd seen enough. Before she could take another step, I reached for her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her back against my chest. Her eyes said she was scared...and maybe ashamed. _This_ I could fix.

"It's okay, Bells," I said softly.

"What is?" she asked.

"That you asked."

I felt her relax, and she leaned her head back against my chest. Maybe I really could be good enough for her.

* * *


	29. Peace: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: PEACE  
(Bella's POV)**

It felt like we stood there forever, every second better and worse than the last. Better because Jake's arms were around me, worse because I felt more and more stupid for listening to Lauren's lies.

"Are you ever going to turn around?" he asked. I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"No," I said.

"Wrong answer."

My feet flew out from under me, and I was thrown backward. He had one arm under my shoulder and the other slung under my legs, and I was being carried. If I had any sense of balance, it would have been romantic, something like when Rhett carried Scarlett. But flailing arms and legs are anything but graceful. In what seemed like only a second, I was flat on my back and he was stretched out over me. On his bed.

"You've gotta face me sometime, Bells," he said softly, his breath hot against my lips as his dark eyes burned into me.

Well, I was definitely facing him now. "Shouldn't we be going?" I asked.

"In a minute," he said, right before his lips brushed over mine.

"Ah...Jacob..." I started. What was he up to? He'd carried me to his room and was lying on top of me---well, not exactly lying. He'd at least thought to hold his weight up, so I guess the only problems were the horizontal position and the fact that we were on his bed. But that was a _big_ problem.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," he whispered, and I thought I caught a familiar smirk just before my eyes fluttered shut and he was kissing me again.

His lips left my mouth, continuing over my jaw, behind my ear. My eyelids felt heavy and my heart began to race. His lips and tongue burned a fiery trail down my neck...and back up to my mouth. He lingered there for while, his tongue slipping between my lips, and the taste of him flooded my senses. I was sure if I'd been standing, my legs would have collapsed. His warm lips were pressed gently to mine. His hands alternated between stroking my hair and cupping my face, nothing more. There was no urgency or pressure, nothing to remind me that we were alone in his room, no reason to push him away.

"Okay, _now_ we can go," he said, rising up slightly. That familiar smug look was back on his face.

"No," I said, pulling him back to me, "We can't."

* * *

The scene at Sam and Emily's was pure chaos, so much so that only Rachel and Embry seemed to notice when we walked in. Rachel was giving me an evil look, as usual. _I should introduce her to Lauren_, I thought. Embry raised an eyebrow when he saw us, and Jake nodded.

"Movie night," Emily sang out, thrusting a bowl of popcorn at me as she walked by.

Jake ignored my surprise, and pulled me to a big plush chair in the corner of the room. _How on earth are we all going to fit in this little room? _As if to answer my question, he sat down and pulled me into his lap, spilling popcorn in the process. _Well, I guess if everyone sits on top of one another... _And as Jacob helped himself to the popcorn, some of them did exactly that.

Sam sat down at one end of the sofa. Leah sat on the opposite end with Seth slouched at her feet. He tried once to tickle her bare feet, but she gave him a good kick, and he gave up. Rachel took a seat between Sam and Leah, draping her legs over Paul's shoulders as he joined Seth on the floor. Jared and Embry took up the rest of the floor, Jared lying on his back and Embry leaning back against the coffee table. Emily was still running back and forth from the kitchen with drinks and more popcorn, so I hopped up to help. At least I tried to.

"Going somewhere?" asked Jake, trapping me against him.

"Yes, to help Emily," I said, trying to pry his arm from around my waist. "She's not the maid, you know."

He laughed and released his hold, and I walked over to grab some of the drinks she'd set out on the counter.

"Thanks, Bella," Emily said as she balanced three bowls and walked back past me. I followed her, passing out sodas to whoever wanted them. I even resisted the urge to dump one over Rachel's head as I walked back to the kitchen.

"Charlie doesn't mind you being out late on a school night?" Emily asked.

_Crap!_ I'd never gone home. Charlie wouldn't have any idea where I was!

Emily saw my face and laughed. "Want to call him?" she asked, handing me the phone.

I was so flustered that I misdialed twice. When I finally got the number right, my heart raced faster with every ring that went unanswered. Had Charlie heard that I'd skipped last period? Was he angry? Who was going to feed him?

_"Hello?"_

"Dad?"

_"Bells! Where have you been?"_ He didn't sound angry, but I could tell I had worried him.

"Ah, I went to Jake's after school," I explained, hoping he didn't know I'd ditched.

_"Don't you mean during school?"_

So much for hope. "Ah...yeah...I guess. I wasn't feeling well."

_"But you felt well enough to go to Jake's?"_ he asked.

"It was nothing. I just didn't eat at lunch, and I was feeling faint. But then I ate and now I'm fine," I hurriedly explained. He'd never buy that. I was a horrible liar.

_"You should take better care of yourself"_ he said. What? He was letting me get away with that?

"Yeah, I will. Will you be alright for dinner? I want to stay here---I'm at Sam and Emily's now. We're watching a movie." I was pushing my luck, I knew. I'd already gotten away with ditching class and coming to La Push without telling him, and now I asking him to fend for himself for dinner.

_"Just be home by eleven. You've got a full day tomorrow."_

"I will," I said, noticing his emphasis on 'full.' "Bye, Dad."

_"Bye."_

I hung up the phone and let out a sigh of relief. I was going to have to get my act together. I grabbed a soda for myself and headed back to the living room, trying to avoid all the curious looks. Of course, the pack had probably heard everything.

"You felt faint?" Jake asked, pulling me back to sit sideways in his lap.

"It's not funny," I pouted, staring into the popcorn bowl.

"I didn't say it was," he said gently.

I looked up to see his face and was met by soft, dark eyes, not a hint of amusement in them---at least not until we were hit with a shower of popcorn.

"You guys make me sick," said a grinning Embry, the obvious culprit.

"You're cleaning that up," Sam growled.

"Just shut up and watch the movie," Leah snapped. No one wanted to argue with her, and all eyes turned toward the TV.

Emily flipped off the lights and hopped into in Sam's lap. The opening credits were playing. I set the bowl of popcorn on the end table and curled up snugly against Jacob, unable to keep from giggling when I saw the title.

_Brotherhood of the Wolf._

* * *

The room was dark except for the glow from the TV, and we were curled up in the corner, just outside everyone's line of vision. The illusion of privacy was nice. The temptation wasn't. Or maybe it was, and that was the problem.

I really _was_ trying to watch the movie, I was cradled in Jacob's lap, and it was hard to concentrate with him so close. I could feel every breath he took, every heartbeat. And he hadn't bothered to do anything more than button up his jeans before we left his house. In the 'What would you rather pay attention to?' contest, the movie lost, and I found myself running my fingers over his bare chest.

It was so easy to be with Jacob. It felt like we'd been together for months, and I guess in a way we had. He'd seen me through everything, gladly joined me in nearly killing myself on the bikes, followed me in my fruitless search for the meadow, and saved me in more ways than one. It was moments like this that everything with Edward seemed like it had taken place in another lifetime. It was almost as if Edward had been some fairytale, a dream that I'd finally awakened from. But I knew better than to believe that. Edward was still very much in my heart, even if I couldn't hear him anymore. And as easy as things were with Jacob, a part of me wondered if I was just substituting. I knew I loved him. And he made me happy, _finally_ happy. Could I really be over Edward so easily, or was I just deceiving myself? Maybe I was just afraid to believe in what I was feeling for Jacob. It was hard to believe in someone again.

I'd been surprised by his reaction to the whole thing about Lauren. I'd expected him to be defensive, either because he _had_ done something with her and I had no business being upset about what happened before we were together, or because he _hadn't_, and I'd doubted him. Either way, I didn't expect him to be so...understanding. If the situation had been reversed, I wasn't sure I'd have been so nice about it. But he hadn't been upset with me. He'd been confused, maybe a little annoyed, but not mad. And before we left his house, he'd kissed me so sweetly, the kind of kiss that only happens in movies. It didn't matter that we were alone in his house, in his room, on his bed. Gone was the over-eager, sex-on-the-brain Jake that I'd first kissed. He'd been replaced with someone who kept his hands to himself and was content just being with me. We'd spent a good ten minutes just kissing---some _really_ _incredible_ kissing---before he convinced me we were going to be late.

I shifted and settled in closer to him, as if being near him would put all my thoughts to rest. I listened to the hypnotic thumping of his heart beneath my ear, my head rising and falling as his chest moved with each breath.

"What are you thinking?" Jake whispered.

"Lots of things," I said, purposefully vague. I wasn't about to bring up Lauren again, and I didn't want to have to explain any of the rest.

His hand cupped my chin and turned my face up to his. "You're not still worried about that girl, are you?" he asked.

"Not really," I said, dropping my head back down to lie against his chest. I _was_ still worried about her...worried I might accidentally beat her to death at school tomorrow.

"We could always sic Leah on her," he playfully suggested.

"Good idea," I said, not entirely joking. Anyone could see Leah had a permanent case of PMS. She could probably topple Lauren with one look.

"I have a few other good ideas," he whispered, brushing my hair aside and trailing his tongue across the back of my neck.

We were surrounded by people, some of them werewolves. I was sure they could hear my heart stutter and my sharp intake of breath. One of them might look over at any moment, and they could probably see us clearly in spite of the darkness. I should have cared. I didn't.

"Do you?" I whispered, pressing closer to him. Well, I didn't exactly sound seductive, but Jake had fallen for my ridiculous attempts at flirting before.

"Mmmhmm," he murmured, raising my face to his.

He pressed his lips to my forehead, and then placed the lightest kisses over my eyelids and cheeks, his breath trailing fire along my skin. I twisted toward him and wound one hand behind his neck, the other still charting the muscular lines of his chest. My pulse raced as he raised my chin higher and kissed along my jaw, slowly making his way to the corner of my mouth. I had already forgotten where we were, what we were supposed to be doing, who might be watching, and I couldn't hold back. My hand on his neck pressed, pulling him closer, and I crushed my lips against his. My head was spinning, and I couldn't remember how to breathe, but when his lips parted for my tongue none of that mattered. His arm around me tightened as his free hand clutched at my hip. And when my teeth pressed into his bottom lip, he tensed up before he ground his mouth more roughly against mine.

Violent coughing snapped me back to the present, and I whipped my head around to see if we had an audience. No one was turned our way, although a few of them were staring at Embry who was pounding his fist against his chest.

"Pop-corn-" he croaked, still choking.

Jake's laughter rumbled through his chest, and I sunk back against him, hiding my face in against his neck. His fingers lightly stroked up and down my back through the rest of the movie.

When it was over, Emily turned on the lights and started collecting empty soda cans & popcorn bowls. Jake made no move to get up, and I had no desire to leave him. Rachel was sitting on the floor beside Paul, and Embry was crawling around picking popcorn out of the carpet. It seemed he'd thrown more than he'd eaten. Seth was trying to convince Leah that she should wear armor, and Sam was watching them, the corners of his mouth twitching, trying to hold back a rare smile. Jared was snoring loudly, the sounds echoing beneath the bowl someone had overturned on his face. My money was on Embry.

"If I'd known I was gonna have to sit through subtitles..." complained Jacob.

"Oh, sure, like you were even watching," Embry laughed, still crawling around on the floor.

I felt my cheeks turning pink, and as I tried to sink further against Jacob, I felt his lips brush over my hair.

"I'll bet Emily picked it out. No man in his right mind would have done that. What was that? French?" Jake asked.

Embry just laughed. "You're _lucky_ Emily didn't pick it out. She would have made us sit through something with women talking about their feelings and crying over ice cream."

"At least I wasn't pretending to choke on popcorn!" Emily called from the kitchen.

My face went from pink to blazing red in a heartbeat.

* * *


	30. Peace: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN: PEACE  
(Jacob's POV)**

We just stood there, my arms around her waist, her back against my chest. I didn't want to think about how close I'd come to losing her. If she'd believed that lying girl, if I'd been mad enough to say the wrong thing, if she'd decided not to talk to me at all...

But here she was, completely relaxed against me. The only problem now was that she was _never_ going to face me, not now that she'd shown her jealousy. I needed to make her laugh, show her that it didn't matter---even though a part of me was secretly thrilled!

"Are you ever going to turn around?" I asked.

"No," I said.

_No? _"Wrong answer," I said, dropping my arm from her side and sweeping her legs out from under her.

Her eyes grew wide and she looked like she was about to scream, but she held it in. Knowing Bella, she probably just thought she was falling. She _did_ manage to do that a lot. She looked like she was afraid I would drop her on the floor, but the only place I was going to drop her was...where? Rachel had left all her laundry on the sofa. _The bed._

In an instant, she was lying beneath me, and it was all I could do to keep resting all my weight on my arms. _Maybe I should have thought this through better._

"You've gotta face me sometime, Bells," I said.

Those incredible brown eyes were staring up at me, large and filled with apprehension.

"Shouldn't we be going?" she asked.

"In a minute," I said. Right now, I just needed to kiss her. I barely touched my mouth to hers, waiting for her to respond.

"Ah...Jacob..." she said hesitantly.

_Oh, right. We're on my bed. _Leave it to Bella to go _there _when all I wanted to do was kiss her. Well, at least I knew where _her _mind was.

"Get your mind out of the gutter," I said. No matter how tempting she was, I wasn't going to make _that_ mistake again.

I kissed her again, and I felt her relax a little. I paused for just a second and looked at her. She was so beautiful like this, her cheeks tinged in pink, her lips slightly open, her eyes gently closed. I noticed her breath catch as soon as my lips touched behind her ear. _I'll have to remember that. _I felt her hands reach around my neck, pulling me closer, and I nearly forgot everything. Her skin was soft and smooth under my lips, and I could feel her pulse quickening. Her breathing grew shallower and faster, and I had to remind myself to stop my downward trail. She smelled so sweet, like flowers and honey, and I wanted to taste her. She gasped a little at the touch of my tongue to her skin, but she only pulled tighter against my neck until I finally made my way back to her mouth. I could have stayed there kissing her forever, but the sound of her breathing, the feel of her heartbeat, the taste of her mouth was becoming too tempting.

"Okay, _now_ we can go," I said, reluctantly breaking the kiss. She looked as disappointed as I was at having to leave, and I had to admit I loved knowing that.

"No we can't," she said as she pulled my lips back to hers.

* * *

We got to Sam's house just in time for the movie. I hadn't told Bella it was movie night, and I wondered if that would be a problem. She had stopped watching TV completely after the bloodsucker ran off, but she didn't seem to mind watching it with me. And _she_ had been the one to suggest we watch that movie at her house, so I hoped she'd be okay with this.

As soon as we walked in the door, Embry caught my eye. He knew there was a reason I'd run everyone off, and I could tell he wanted to ask. I just nodded, hoping he understood that I would talk to him later. Emily gave us some popcorn and I led Bella over to the big chair in the corner. There wasn't exactly a ton of available seating, and I wanted the good chair. Otherwise, we'd probably get stuck between my sister and Leah, and that was enough to make anyone miserable. Bella looked a little shocked when I pulled her down to sit on my lap, but she didn't really seem to mind. It wasn't like I was going to try anything in front of the pack.

I watched Bella as she looked around the room and almost laughed. She seemed fascinated by everyone there, everything that was going on. I guess being an only child with a practically mute father was quite a bit different than being part of a pack. Rachel was quick to sit down on the sofa between Leah and Sam, and I wondered if Bella noticed the tension. It didn't look like it, which was good because I really didn't want to have to explain that situation to her. Emily was still running around with food, as usual, and we were just waiting for her when Bella started to get up.

"Going somewhere?" I asked, unwilling to take my arms from around her.

"Yes, to help Emily," she said with a cute little scowl. "She's not the maid, you know."

Leave it to Bella to think we were abusing Emily. The truth was that Emily loved taking care of us, and we all knew she wouldn't have given it up for anything in the world. I didn't know what kind of father Sam would be---probably a lot like Charlie---but Emily would definitely be a great mom.

Embry was sitting on the floor near us, and after Bella got up, he leaned over toward me.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "It wasn't a big deal. She just heard some stuff."

"What stuff?" he asked.

"Remember that girl at the beach?" I asked.

"The blond?"

"Yeah. She's a problem." I was about to say more when I heard Bella talking and looked over to see her on the phone. Even if I hadn't been able to hear what she was saying, I would have known it was Charlie just by the worried look on her face. I heard her explaining that she'd come to my house after school, and then watched as her expression turned to panic when he asked her about ditching. My werewolf status had one advantage: it was really easy to eavesdrop, even from across the room.

"It was nothing. I just didn't eat at lunch, and I was feeling faint. But then I ate and now I'm fine," she explained. Her expression went from worry to shock, followed by relief when he told her she could stay out till eleven.

I think she knew some of us heard more than just her side of the conversation. She looked self-conscious as she walked back over to me, and she didn't hesitate to seat herself back in my lap and curl up. She sat sideways, her legs thrown over one side of me and her head against my chest. I looked over her head at Embry, and mouthed "Later." He nodded and started talking to Jared. Now I could turn my attention back to Bella.

"You felt faint?" I asked. What I really wanted to know was if that was just an excuse she'd made up for her dad. She'd been worried enough to skip school and confront me about everything, but I hated to think she could have been so worried that it made her sick.

"It's not funny," she said, her bottom lip sticking out adorably.

"I didn't say it was," I told her. Apparently, she _had _been that worried. She looked up at me, but before I could say anything else, Embry nailed us with a handful of popcorn.

"You guys make me sick," he said.

As usual, I wasn't sure if I should laugh or kill him.

* * *

Bella was snuggled up against me, her hands moving lightly up and down my chest. Her head was down so I couldn't even tell if she was watching the movie, but I knew _I _wasn't. The whole thing was in another language anyway, and even if it hadn't been, I'd rather look at her.

I wondered if she even knew what she was doing, or if she was just touching me without thinking. I suppose either one would be fine. It would be kind of sweet if she didn't even realize she was moving her fingers across my chest. Maybe she was really that comfortable with me now, and things like this were just normal. Or maybe she just wanted to touch me more than she wanted to watch the movie, and that was fine in my book, too. If we hadn't been stuck in a room with the whole pack, it would have been better. Seth looked over at us and grinned, and I just shook my head, hoping Bella didn't notice. I was enjoying being close to her, and I didn't need him messing it up by saying something. Embry glanced at us a few times, but he just smiled and went back to watching the movie. I had the feeling he was going to do something to embarrass Bella, and if he had, I really would have killed him this time.

The longer we sat there, the more she touched me, the harder it was to remember we were surrounded by other people. I finally had to shift positions a little so Bella wouldn't figure out just what her touch was doing to me. Whether she knew what she was doing or not, I was sure she didn't mean to do _that_. But when I moved, she lifted her face up a bit, and I could finally see that she wasn't watching the movie at all. Her eyes were almost closed, and I watched as a multitude of expressions flitted across her face. I loved reading her expressions. She was usually an open book.

I watched as a hint of a smile crept across her lips. Was she thinking about me? About us? I thought about her nearly every second, and I wondered if she did the same. She was definitely happy and relaxed about something, and I wanted to be the reason. Then the smile faded and she got that little crease between her eyebrows. I _hoped_ that had nothing to do with me. Maybe she was thinking about the leech again. I knew she would never completely forget him, and thoughts of him always made her a little sad. I just wanted her to be happy enough with me that it didn't hurt her so bad anymore. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. If she'd been looking at me, if there had been happiness in her eyes, it would have been beyond sexy. But with her brow still wrinkled up, I knew she was chewing on her lip for a reason. Maybe she was thinking about that idiot girl again. But within seconds, she sighed contentedly and settled back into that half-smile, moving her body closer to me and pressing her face against my chest.

"What are you thinking?" I asked quietly. There wasn't a lot of point in being quiet in this group, so I hoped she wasn't going to say anything she wouldn't want them to hear.

"Lots of things," she said, not giving me a real answer.

I lifted her face up toward mine and asked, "You're not still worried about that girl, are you?"

"Not really," she said, looking down again.

_Liar._ "We could always sic Leah on her," I said. Even if she wasn't a werewolf, Leah could scare the hell out of people.

"Good idea," she said.

"I have a few other good ideas," I said, finally giving in to what I'd been wanting to do all night.

I kissed along the back of her neck, letting my tongue slip across her skin. Her breath caught, but she didn't pull away.

"Do you?" she asked invitingly.

_I didn't expect that reaction. _"Mmmhmm."

I kissed her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks. I wanted to kiss every part of her face that I found beautiful. I knew she'd be a little distant, maybe even tell me to stop since there were people around, but instead she turned and pressed closer to me. She had one hand behind my neck and the other on my chest, still driving me crazy. Her skin was flushed again and her heartbeat quickened under my lips as I kissed along her jaw until I was at her lips again. That's when she surprised me.

She kissed me back like no one else was in the room. Her arms wound around my neck, pulling me closer, and she pressed her mouth roughly to mine. It was like I was holding a whole different Bella. For a second, I forgot about everyone else, too, and I held her more tightly. Her tongue darted into my mouth, and then I felt her teeth on my lip. _Bella? _

We were interrupted by Embry, of course. He was coughing and choking and making enough noise that everyone turned to look at him. At least they weren't looking at us.

"Pop-corn-" he sputtered, and then as Bella turned back toward me he grinned.

_Jerk. _But he knew I'd laugh. I hated his timing, but he was probably right. Bella would have died if anyone else had said anything. As it was, she blushing and hiding her face. So I just held her close and ran my fingers over her back until the movie was over. All that really matter was that she was close to me.

Emily turned the lights back on too soon, and the room was filled with noise again, breaking me out of my nice little world of just Bella and me. Bella didn't seem to care that Emily was back on 'maid duty,' and we just stayed where we were for a few minutes. Embry was doing his own version of maid duty, picking up all the popcorn he'd thrown. Apparently, Bella and I hadn't been his only targets.

"If I'd known I was gonna have to sit through subtitles..." I said.

"Oh, sure, like you were even watching," he laughed.

Bella moved in closer to me, probably blushing, and I planted a soft kiss on her hair before glaring at Embry. He just grinned back.

"I'll bet Emily picked it out. No man in his right mind would have done that. What was that? French?" I asked, trying to keep the subject away from anything that would make her any more self-conscious.

"You're _lucky_ Emily didn't pick it out. She would have made us sit through something with women talking about their feelings and crying over ice cream," he said.

"At least I wasn't pretending to choke on popcorn!" Emily yelled from the kitchen.

So much for not embarrassing Bella.

* * *


	31. Unease: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: UNEASE  
(Bella's POV)**

It wasn't even ten o'clock yet, but I decided not to push my luck. I told Jacob I should be getting home, and even though he didn't want me to leave, he knew I was walking a fine line with Charlie after ditching school. I reluctantly got up from the chair and made my way around to say my goodbyes, carefully avoiding Leah, who scared me a little, and Rachel, for obvious reasons.

"Going home already?" Emily asked.

"Charlie will probably be waiting up for me," I explained.

She laughed. "I'm glad you came," she said. "And if you can keep yourself from getting grounded, you know you can come over anytime. Even without Jake."

Emily's warm smile told me she genuinely liked me for me, not just because I was dating Jacob, and it was nice to know I had another girl to talk to without worrying about lies and secrets. I hadn't had anyone like that since Alice. And even though I knew Emily would never throw lavish parties or force me into designer clothes, having her in my corner helped to fill a place that had long been empty.

"Thanks," I said. "I really like it here."

"C'mon, Bells!" Jake yelled.

Emily laughed and rolled her eyes, and I walked over to Jacob. He was standing in the doorway talking to Embry, but my presence seemed to have suddenly killed the conversation.

"What? Did I interrupt some secret werewolf meeting?" I asked.

Embry laughed and actually _hugged_ me. "See you later, Bella," he said.

Jacob laced his fingers with mine, and we walked outside toward my truck.

"What was that about?" I asked him.

"Which part? The secret meeting, or him touching you?"

"Oh, no you don't!" I scolded. "Don't go getting all possessive...on..." I faltered when I looked up and saw the amused smirk on his face.

"You're adorable when you're mad," he said, pulling me close and dropping my hand to wrap his arms around me.

"And you're annoying," I said as he lowered his lips to mine. Once again, I was lost somewhere in a world where nothing existed but the two of us. I found myself dizzy when he stepped back and opened my door for me.

"Oh," I said, a little disappointed that I was actually leaving. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

I hopped up into the truck and he closed the door behind me.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, leaning my head out the partially open window. "I have to work tomorrow." I'd almost forgotten about my job at Newton's Outfitters.

"I'll be there when you get off, then," he said.

"Nine o'clock," I told him.

"I'll be waiting," he said with a sweet smile. He leaned in and kissed me once more. "'Night, Bells."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

* * *

The lights were still on when I pulled into the driveway. I was right. Charlie was waiting up for me.

"You're early," he called from the living room when I walked in.

"The movie was over," I said with a shrug.

He looked pleased with my answer for a second, but then a shadow of something more serious passed over his expression.

"Come sit down for a minute. I want to talk to you about something," he said.

This couldn't be good. Having a real conversation with Charlie was a rare occurrence, but one that required sitting down was a whole different story. I mentally braced myself and sat on the sofa across from him.

"I'm sorry about tonight, Dad," I said, hoping to stem whatever lecture or punishment was coming. "I don't know why I didn't think to call you."

"That's fine," he said dismissively. "I wanted to talk to you about...something else."

Something else? He was ignoring the fact that I ditched school? He was a parent. What could he possibly think was more serious than that?

"Okay..." I said skeptically.

"How serious are you and Jake?" he asked.

_No. This can't be happening._ Charlie wanted to have the talk with me---the _sex_ talk. I was going to die of embarrassment. I could feel my skin flush. My eyes widened and I just stared at him.

"Not that!" he practically shouted. "Unless...we don't need to talk about..._that_...do we?" He looked a little scared.

"No!" I said, shaking my head wildly.

Relief washed over his face, and we just sat there for several seconds, avoiding each others eyes and shifting uncomfortably in our seats. If this wasn't about sex, why was he asking me how serious Jacob and I were?

"Well?" he finally prodded.

Oh, right. I'd never answered him. "I don't know," I said with a shrug. Quite honestly, I didn't know. We were serious enough that I hated being away from him, and that the thought of losing him was unbearable, but how serious was that? Was there some kind of scale used to rate these things?

"It worries me," Charlie said.

"What does?" I asked, now thoroughly confused.

"I just...you're young and..." he stammered.

Where was he going with this? And how was this _not_ the sex talk?

"Bella, I just don't want to see you get hurt," he said.

"Jacob's not going to hurt me, Dad."

"Yeah, well..." He looked as if he was searching for the right words. "He's young, and you're about to graduate and go to college and...if things don't work out, I just don't want to see you fall apart again."

He wasn't just talking about Jacob. He was talking about Edward.

"Don't worry, Dad. It's not like that," I told him. Jacob wasn't Edward. In the bottom of my heart I'd always known that I wasn't good enough for Edward. And though Jacob definitely had some too-good-to-be-true moments, he felt _real_ to me. Plus, I couldn't very well explain to my dad that Jacob was a werewolf, and just packing up and leaving probably wasn't an option for him. Jacob might be able to break up with me, but he could never really leave his pack.

Charlie didn't say anything more, and I got the feeling the conversation was over.

"I need to get to bed now, okay?" I said.

He nodded and turned his attention back to the TV, apparently satisfied with my answers.

Too bad I wasn't.

* * *

Another day of school, another day of missing Jacob. And to top if off, I had to go straight to Newton's after school, so it would be hours before I saw him. I didn't have a lot of room to complain, though. Mrs. Newton had given me all of spring break off as well as the weekend. I hadn't had to go to work in well over a week, and if nothing else, I needed the gas money. At least Jacob would be waiting for me when I got off. No wonder Charlie was worried. I really _was_ getting too attached.

I spent my morning classes in a daze, too preoccupied with what Charlie had said the night before to really pay attention to my teachers. I'd been so upset when I'd arrived at Jacob's yesterday, and he'd handled the whole situation more perfectly than I would have thought him capable of. The evening at Emily's had been even better, despite my embarrassing lack of self-control. Spending time with Jacob was wonderful, and even though we weren't alone, the whole evening had felt like it was just the two of us. The pack was like a huge, loving, slightly dysfunctional family, and I was starting to like them more and more. It was going to hurt like hell if there was any basis to Charlie's concerns.

He was right; I'd be graduating soon. And I _had_ to go to college. There was no question about that. The only question was how was I supposed to reconcile going away to college with having a boyfriend whose mythical creature status would probably forever keep him tied to the reservation? It's not like he would be joining me away at college in two years.

The truth was that I hadn't even decided on where to go. Charlie had nagged me into submitting applications months ago, and some acceptance letters had already arrived. My options were a bit limited by finances, but they would still all take me miles away from Jacob. Private colleges were too expensive, and the only out-of-state options I had were in Florida, where I could claim residency with Renee and Phil. I had originally balked at the idea of ever leaving Forks. It was the one place that I felt I could be near Edward, and maybe the one place he would look for me if he ever changed his mind. But after grieving for so long, I'd decided that maybe getting as far as possible from here was a good idea---until Jake. Even my Washington choices weren't so great now.

The closest major college was Evergreen in Olympia, but even that was nearly a four hour drive from the Quileute Reservation. It wouldn't make it impossible to visit, but it would make it inconvenient. Even Peninsula College, the one big school in our area, was in Port Angeles, over an hour and a half away from Jacob. It seemed that our little corner of Washington was so far removed from civilization that every choice I had was a painful one. I knew that my selection of college really shouldn't revolve around who I was dating, but I couldn't help it. I was _happy_ with Jacob. I didn't want college to change that.

"Penny for your thoughts," Mike prodded.

I'd been so wrapped up in my college dilemma that I hadn't even noticed him catch up to me in the hallway.

"Just thinking about college," I said_. And wondering where I can fit a werewolf into my plan._

"Oh, yeah?" he asked. "You got accepted?"

I was momentarily offended, as if he'd implied there was a question as to whether or not I'd even get into college. But I reminded myself that this was a guy who probably hadn't even applied anywhere yet. I doubted he meant it as an insult.

"A couple of places," I said, "but I haven't decided yet."

"Maybe you could go to Peninsula, and we'd have some classes together." His tone was a little too hopeful.

"Oh...well, I was thinking more like Washington State or something," I said. The only thing I was really thinking about Washington State was that it was too far away. Mike seemed to think so, too, and I tried not to laugh as his expression fell. We were in the lunch line now, and I was looking everywhere for Angela. But our usual table was completely empty.

"But that's like nine hours away," he complained. "When will we ever see each other?"

_Never. _"Isn't there a class reunion or something?" I asked, purposely misunderstanding.

"Yeah, sure," he muttered.

Was he finally getting the hint?

"There you are!" said Angela, grabbing my arm. "I've been looking everywhere for you! It's warm and sunny, so we're all at the picnic tables today."

I took my tray and followed her outside, leaving Mike alone with his disappointment.

* * *

"I'm telling you they must have said, 'Just send us the ugliest ones you have,'" Jessica whined dramatically.

She'd spent the last twenty minutes complaining about P.E. From the sound of it, today was swimming, or as I liked to call it, water torture.

"I don't know why they don't just let us wear our own," Lauren said. "I look so much better in a two piece anyway."

As soon as I'd seen her, I thought about lunging over the table and strangling her. But with my luck, I'd probably break my arm. And as much as I wanted to call her out on her lies, I didn't want to cause a scene. I especially didn't want to give her any reason to think I'd felt threatened by her, which was exactly what she would think if I lost my temper. I settled instead for the coward's way out, sitting there quietly while she and Jessica droned on and on about things that were only important to them.

Normally I'd have been annoyed with their shallow conversation, but today's subject had me in knots. I didn't care at all about the swimsuits they seemed to find so hideous. I only cared about the fact that I'd have to swim. Not only was I a terrible swimmer, but I often inhaled half the pool when I tried. An hour spent flailing around in the water in front of everyone I knew was not something I looked forward to. Too bad I couldn't ditch again.

"Bella?" Angela said quietly, a look of kind concern on her face. "Did you get everything figured out? After yesterday, I mean?"

She had to be referring to the whole Lauren debacle. And she must have been really worried about me if she was actually asking about it. Angela wasn't usually one to pry.

"Yeah," I said. "Everything's perfect." I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face as I said it.

"Good," she said, grinning right back at me. "I was really---"

Whatever she was about to say was cut short by a deafening roar, and everyone turned to see where it was coming from. My heart leaped at the sight of a black motorcycle and the large, dark-haired, copper-skinned figure astride it, but just as quickly, I was brought back down to earth. It was definitely his bike, but the tall, muscular boy swinging his leg off the bike and scanning the crowd was not Jacob.

* * *


	32. Unease: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN: UNEASE  
(Jacob's POV)**

Even though it was nowhere near her curfew, Bella wanted to go home. At first, I thought she was upset about something, and I guess in a way she was. But she was just nervous because Charlie knew she'd ditched class. I knew Charlie wasn't going to do anything, but she wanted to face the music, and I had to let her. While she went off to say goodbye to everyone, I waited by the door. Embry saw that as the opportunity to finish our earlier conversation.

"So? The blonde?" he asked.

"She told Bella we hooked up or something," I said.

"Shit! No wonder she was pissed when she showed up," he laughed. "I take it everything's cool now?"

"Yeah, we're good."

"Just good? From what I saw---"

"Don't say it," I growled. The rest of the pack could think and talk about the girls they went out with, and obviously didn't care about, any way they wanted. But I wasn't going to let them talk about Bella that way.

"I'm just saying---"

"New subject. _Now._"

"Okay, okay," he said, throwing up his hands in mock surrender. "I won't mention that her tongue was down your thr---"

Punching him in the chest seemed to do the trick, but from the way he laughed, I knew he was just waiting for another chance.

"So that's it? You're not gonna do anything about it?" he asked.

"Bella and I are fine."

"Yeah, someone's trying to convince your girlfriend that you're cheating on her, and that's just fine with you. Dude, for a guy with two sisters, you're pretty clueless."

What was taking her so long? "C'mon, Bells!" I yelled.

"And you're the expert?" I asked him.

"You know it."

Bella walked up, and we immediately shut up. Embry grinned smugly, making way too obvious we were hiding something.

"What? Did I interrupt some secret werewolf meeting?" she asked.

Embry laughed and hugged her. "See you later, Bella," he said.

The look of shock on Bella's face as she half-heartedly hugged him back was almost worth seeing someone else's arms around her. But not quite. Embry smiled a little too brightly at me, obviously satisfied that he'd irritated me, and walked off.

As I was walking her out to a truck she asked, "What was that about?"

"Which part? The secret meeting or him touching you?" I asked.

"Oh, no you don't!" she said, trying to sound mad. "Don't go getting all possessive...on..."

She must have noticed I was trying not to laugh at her. I couldn't help being a little possessive of her. And if she was going to be all cute and flustered about it, I had even more reason. "You're adorable when you're mad," I said, pulling her into my arms.

"And you're annoying," she pouted just before I kissed her. She leaned in closer, pressing herself to me and slid her hands up over my shoulders. I held her more tightly. It didn't escape my notice that she seemed more comfortable, almost assertive now when we were close like this. But I knew if we didn't stop soon, I wasn't going to let her leave. And Embry would probably just interrupt like he always did.

"Oh," she said, as I pulled back. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely," I told her as she climbed into the truck.

No sooner had I shut the door than she stuck her head out the window and said, "Wait! I have to work tomorrow."

Just another reason I hated that Newton kid, even if he didn't make the schedule. "I'll be there when you get off, then," I said.

"Nine o'clock."

"I'll be waiting," I said. She smiled back at me, and I just had to kiss her once more. "'Night, Bells."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

* * *

Rachel was arguing with Dad when I got home. She was still trying to get the old house, and he was still refusing. Her attempts to convince him were quickly becoming attempts to burst his eardrums with her whining, and I definitely did not want to be a part of that. I still had a few hours before I had to go on patrol, and hiding out in the garage sounded like the best---and quietest---option.

"About time you showed up."

Embry was sitting on my car, and Quil was leaning against the toolbox when I walked in. So much for quiet.

"Shouldn't you be on patrol?" I asked them.

"Sam says I'm too green," Quil replied. "He's taking the night off, so I have to, too." He sounded disappointed. He really seemed to be taking being a werewolf better than the rest of us had. He actually enjoyed it.

"And I already finished mine," added Embry. "Besides, we have trouble to make."

"Trouble?" I was almost afraid to ask. "If this is about Lauren, you can forget about it," I said. "It's over, and I don't want to upset Bella."

"Then you have to _do_ something," he argued. "It's your fault for leading her on anyway. And Bella's too nice to do anything."

He was right about one thing. If I hadn't been so determined to make Bella jealous, that stupid girl wouldn't have nearly ruined everything for us. I just really didn't need the two of them reminding me what an idiot I was.

"Man, she tried to break you two up," said Quil.

"Yeah, what would you do if some guy was lying about Bella that way?" Embry asked.

"Rip his throat out," I said.

They both laughed as if I was joking.

"Well?" asked Embry.

"Well, nothing," I said, knowing he wasn't going to let up.

Quil rolled his eyes and looked at Embry. "He really is clueless, isn't he?"

Embry nodded and turned to me. "Just hear me out," he said.

"I'm not sure I want to," I told him. I could almost see the rusty little wheels in his head spinning. He may have once been the quiet, almost shy one, but all that changed when he started phasing. Now he was always up to something.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said. "Blondie was all over you at the bonfire---"

"This is between Bella and me."

"Uh-huh," he said. "So she was all over you, and she told Bella you hooked up, and now you're gonna let her get away with it?"

"Dude, she wants to get rid of your girlfriend," Quil added, egging him on.

"What do you know about her?" Embry asked.

"Nothing."

"Real helpful, Jake. She was at that party, right? With all the kids from Forks?"

"Yeah, and Newton," I replied, scowling a little at the memory of his arm around her.

"So she goes to school with Bella?" asked Quil.

"I don't know...maybe?"

"What's she like?"

They were getting on my nerves. "Annoying. And real full of herself."

"Well, we can---" Embry started.

"Just leave it alone, okay?" I snapped. Bella hadn't said anything more about it, and for all I knew, she just wanted to forget it. She certainly didn't need a couple of trouble-making werewolves getting involved. I didn't either.

"Fine. Then can I use your bike tomorrow?" Embry asked.

"What for?"

"I need a ride, and you've got two."

"If you put a single scratch on it..." I warned him.

"Don't worry, man. I know it was a present from your _girlfriend_."

* * *

I only got two hours of sleep before I had to get up for school. Patrolling all night was really starting to wear on me, but I'd sooner give up graduating than leave Bella unprotected. It didn't help that Sam was on my case, too. He'd assigned Seth and Leah to watch Bella's house, and I didn't trust them. I knew Seth would do his best, but he was still so young. The only reason Sam let him go out unsupervised was because Leah always stayed with him. And she was just crazy. She had good reason to be, but it didn't change the fact that anyone else in the pack would be more reliable protection for Bella. Then again, any vampire who tried to go up against Leah would definitely regret it. She had enough anger in her to take on a whole coven. Still, I spent half the night watching Bella's house when Sam wanted me in town, and he was pissed. I had phased back halfway home just to get his voice out of my head.

I would miss her, but it was probably a good thing Bella had to work tonight. At least I'd be able to get in a nap after school. I just hoped Newton wasn't going to be working with her. That kid got on my nerves.

I fell asleep during my first three classes. I was so far behind I wouldn't have learned anything anyway. Ever since I'd first phased, my grades had slipped. At first, it was because Sam thought I was too unstable, so I had to stay home several days until he could see that I wasn't going to maul anyone. Then it was because I was so freaked out about being a wolf and having to stay away from Bella that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. After that, my grades didn't stand a chance. I was always patrolling, always sleeping through my alarm, and homework was a lost cause. If it weren't for Bella, I probably would have just dropped out. Lots of other kids on the rez quit school when they were my age. The elders said it was a 'cultural problem' and that we should take more pride in being Quileutes and get our educations. But I was pretty sure the only cultural problem I had was four paws and fur.

Leah only had a few weeks left until she graduated. The rest of us were going to be stuck here for two more years. Poor Seth probably wouldn't even make it into high school. I still couldn't drop out, though, even if I _was_ close to failing. Bella would understand, but I knew she'd be disappointed, and I also knew she deserved better than to be with a dropout. I might not be able to go to college, but I could at least get a diploma. Maybe Embry had the right idea doing that online school thing.

"So what's going on tonight?" Leah asked me between classes.

"Nothing that I know of," I told her.

"Embry told me we were all doing something," she said.

"He didn't say anything to me."

"You look like shit, by the way," she sneered.

"Classy."

"Like you care."

I really didn't. She had a mouth on her, but it was no worse than any of the rest of us. Hell, we probably contributed to it. "Wanna get out of here?" I asked. She looked just as worn out as I felt.

"Yeah, but I can't go home. Mom would freak," she said. Sue Clearwater still had no idea both her kids were werewolves.

"Just come to my house. Dad won't care. I don't know how Sam expects us to do school after keeping us out all night anyway."

* * *

I was right. Rachel raised an eyebrow, but Dad took one look at us and didn't say a word. He just turned down the volume on the TV, and we went straight to my room.

Leah grabbed one of my pillows and all the covers off the bed and spread them out on the floor, kicking all my junk out of the way to make room. Then she curled up on the bed.

"My room, I get the bed," I told her.

"I'm not moving," she replied.

_That's what she thinks._ I walked around to the other side of the bed, sat down, and shoved her off the side. She let out a yell when she hit the floor, and I guess Rachel thought that was a good excuse not to knock. The door opened and she poked her nosey head in just as I was sprawling out across the whole mattress.

"Your brother's an asshole," Leah said to her.

"Yeah, I know," Rachel replied before stepping back out and closing the door behind her.

I was so exhausted I didn't even take my shoes off. I just lay down and closed my eyes, feeling myself start to drift off immediately.

"Hey, Jake?"

"What?" We were supposed to be sleeping, not talking.

"What's gonna happen to her?"

"Who?" I asked.

"Bella. When you imprint, what's gonna happen to her?"

"I'm not gonna imprint," I said.

She didn't say anything else, but I knew what she was thinking. She was wondering if I'd dump Bella like Sam had dumped her.

* * *


	33. Mischief: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: MISCHIEF  
(Bella's POV)**

Embry's gaze wandered over the very curious and now larger group of students who were making no effort not to stare. It wasn't every day that a giant muscle-bound boy riding motorcycle showed up at Forks High School. Not surprisingly, he looked like he was loving the attention. As soon as his eyes met mine, he grinned broadly and started toward me. I snuck a quick glance around to see if anyone else had noticed. Of course, they _all_ had.

Jessica and Lauren wore their usual glares. Mike looked shocked and a little scared as his eyes darted from the approaching Quileute boy to me. Eric looked absolutely fascinated, and Katie appeared to be trying to hide herself behind him, but she was noticeably peeking over his shoulder.

"So this is where you go to school..." Embry said, stopping in front of me and casually taking in the scenery.

"Um...yeah," I said. What was he doing here?

He stepped right up to our table and leaned against the end, arms folded, ankles crossed, as comfortably as if he belonged there.

"Ah...Embry? What are you doing here?" I finally asked.

"You're welcome to join us," Jessica gushed, giving him her biggest smile.

He glanced in her general direction then slid into the empty seat next to me. "Are you coming to the rez after school?" he asked.

"N-no. I have to work." This was just weird. Why was Embry at my school? Why wasn't he at the Tribal School? Why did he even care what I did after school? And what was he doing with Jacob's bike?

"When do you get off?" he asked, as if a conversation about my afternoon plans was the most normal thing in the world.

"Nine. Why?" I had to ask.

"We need some camping stuff," he said.

"For what?" Werewolves didn't go camping---that I knew of.

"You don't think we just sleep on the ground like animals, do you?"

"Well, no," I said. Actually, I'd kind of assumed they did.

"So we can come by around eight thirty or so?"

"We?"

"Me and Jake. And maybe Paul. And Leah."

Was it my imagination, or did he look at Lauren when he mentioned Jacob? Before I could ask if he was going to rattle off the names of the entire tribe, we were interrupted.

"Who's your friend, Bella?" asked Mike. He had stepped up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders like he owned me. I tried to shrug him off, but he wouldn't budge. I opened my mouth to rebuke him, but hesitated when I saw the mischievous glint in Embry's eye as he studied Mike.

"I'm Embry," he said. "You must be Newton."

"Mike," he replied, stepping closer to me and extending a hand over my shoulder to Embry.

I watched as Mike's pale hand was engulfed in the strong grip of the much larger, much more muscular one. Embry maintained a deceptively innocent expression, but I could see the muscles in his hand and forearm flex, and the tightened grip of Mike's remaining hand on my shoulder, coupled with his audible gasp told me he got the message. As soon as Embry released his hand, Mike's grip on me relaxed. I took advantage of the moment, slipping my shoulder away from him. Unfortunately, it was just in time for Embry to sling his heavy arm around me.

I tried shrugging his arm off, too, but he just tightened his hold, pulling me closer to him. _What the hell is he doing?_ If anyone knew about Jacob and me, it was Embry. So why did I feel like he was staking a claim?

He grinned at me and turned his attention to the rest of the table, stopping to focus on Jessica. "I don't believe we've met," he said, sounding every bit like one of those cocky, smooth-talking jerks in a movie.

"I'm Jessica," she giggled, falling for it.

Lauren looked like she was ready to spit fire. Not being one to be ignored, she flipped her hair, looked down her nose at Jessica, and turned to give Embry what I guess was supposed to be a flirtatious look. "And I'm Lauren," she said, extending her hand out to him.

_If he kisses her hand, I'm going to vomit. _Fortunately, he didn't, but he did hold on to her hand just a little too long, long enough for Jessica's stupid grin to fade a little as she looked back and forth between them. _God, he's laying it on thick. _He finally released her hand and turned back to Jessica, who started batting her eyelashes so furiously she looked like she might be having a seizure.

"We should all do something sometime," he said, before turning to me. "Bells, you don't mind if they join us sometime, do you? I could bring a couple of the guys along."

Now it was my turn to spit fire. Why was he making it look like he and I were together? And where did he get off calling me 'Bells?'

"Embry, I don't---" I started, but before I could get another word out, he was leaning in way too close, and in my panic, my voice failed me. If he hadn't had an arm around me, I would have fallen backward off the seat in my effort to get away from him. He only looked amused and kissed me on the forehead then turned and winked at Jessica.

Great. Not only did they all think I was dating Embry, but he looked like a low-life cheater. In a flash, he was walking away.

"Eight thirty, Bells!" he called back over his shoulder.

I was afraid to even look around our little lunch group, but did anyway. I instantly regretted it. Mike looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. Lauren and Jessica were wearing malicious smiles. Angela looked shocked and a bit disappointed, and Ben just looked completely lost. Eric and Katie were looking on with curious eyes, and even Tyler had walked up to take in the show, standing back with his arms crossed as if he was an angry parent waiting for me to explain myself. I felt just like I was about to be put on trial.

"Who was that?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"He knows Jake!"

"How old is he?"

"Do you think he likes me?"

I didn't even know where to begin, and I was too deep in my own confusion to even think about answering their questions. My boyfriend's best friend had just showed up at my school, _flirted_ with me _and_ my friends, _kissed_ me, and then left me to deal with the fallout.

"I have to go," I mumbled. I grabbed up my books, leaving my half-eaten lunch behind, and walked away.

* * *

I fought with my nerves as I changed into my swimsuit. Jessica was right. The school really had selected the least flattering suits they could find. To pile on the injury, they'd even offered us bright white swim caps. And now I was going to drown, my final moments spent dressed in bright orange spandex.

"This isn't so bad," Lauren was saying.

The girl she was talking to---Ashley, I think---groaned and pulled at her suit. "At least I have a tan," she said. "This color looks horrid on everyone else. They're all just so pale."

Oh, goody. Lauren had been cloned.

"And flat," said Lauren, darting an arrogant look my way. "At least I fill out my suit."

They walked out of the locker room, still laughing to themselves. I followed behind, keeping my arms crossed over my embarrassingly small chest, and prepared myself for a slow, chlorine-scented death.

* * *

I managed to survive P.E., but only because Mike had taken pity on me and pulled me out of the water just as my lungs were starting to collapse. He mercifully lied to our instructor, insisting that I'd already done the required number of laps, and if he hadn't creeped me out so much, I probably would have hugged him. As it was, I gave him a grateful smile and hurried into the locker room to change.

I spent the rest of my classes wishing my hair would hurry up and dry and dreading having to go into work.

* * *

"So did you have a nice spring break?" Mrs. Newton asked me.

"Yeah, it was okay," I said. Then, realizing what she really meant, I added, "Having the whole week off was great. I really appreciate it."

Her smile brightened, and she leaned over the counter a little to whisper, "Mike said you two saw a movie together."

Crap. How many fake boyfriends was I going to have? "Oh, yes, we did. It's really nice having a _good friend_ like him," I said. "No pressure to date or anything."

Her smile faded a little at that, but I hadn't left any room for argument, and she went back to counting inventory.

It was a pretty slow night, and normally I'd have been happy with that. But tonight it just meant the seconds were ticking by in tortuous slow motion. I'd tried calling Jake before clocking in, but Billy said he was sleeping, and even though I'd asked Billy to have him call me, I hadn't heard from him yet. I knew he'd be here to meet me at closing, even earlier if he came in with Embry, but I really wanted a chance to talk to him first---without any other pack members around.

Embry's visit had really disturbed me. On the one hand, I liked him. He was a nice guy, and he was a good friend to Jacob. I knew how upset Jake had been when he thought he'd lost him to Sam's 'cult,' and I didn't want to mess up their renewed friendship. But his kissing me, even if it was just on the forehead, in front of my school friends and when Jake wasn't around was not cool. I half-hoped Jacob would laugh it off and tell me it was no big deal, mainly because I really didn't _want_ it to be a big deal. But the other half of me hoped he'd do something to get Embry to back off, even if it meant he had to be possessive. As much as it had bothered me that Edward had been a little _too_ protective and controlling, I had to admit to myself that it would have been nice right about now.

* * *


	34. Mischief: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: MISCHIEF  
(Jacob's POV)**

"This stereo sucks!"

I opened my eyes to almost total darkness, blaring music, and Leah. Short of a fire alarm, I couldn't imagine anything worse.

"Still sleeping," I grumbled, pulling the pillow over my head. I was supposed to patrol again tonight, and if I didn't at least get a good nap in, I could kiss that high school diploma goodbye. Besides, I'd been dreaming of Bella again. Leave it to Leah to get in the way of my happiness, even in a dream.

"Don't care," she replied, turning the music up even louder.

I let out a growl and lunged off the bed, grabbing the stereo and yanking the cord out of the wall. There. Problem solved. I lay back down and closed my eyes.

"Oh, come on, Jake. You can't expect me to just sit here while you snore," Leah complained.

"_Please_ shut up," I said.

"Not until you get up."

"Then go home."

"Sam's there," she sighed.

"What? Why?" I asked, more than a little surprised. I sat up and looked at her. Her expression told me she wasn't kidding. But Sam had avoided Leah like the plague ever since he broke her heart. And when he couldn't avoid her, when we were phased, she tortured him with her thoughts. Why on earth would he be at her house?

"Mom invited them over for dinner," she said quietly. "Says we're family...spouting some shit about forgiveness."

"Oh..." What was I supposed to say to that? "Do you think you can? Forgive him...someday?"

It's not like Sam had _meant_ to imprint on Emily. It just happened, and he had no choice. Emily didn't have much of a choice, either, from what I could gather. Apparently, it was just about impossible to resist a werewolf once he imprinted on you. It's not like he put her under a spell or anything, but everything about him became everything she wanted. How was she supposed to walk away from that? I wondered if Leah would eventually imprint on someone. Could a girl even do that, or was that just a guy thing? Part of me hoped she could, just so she'd get over Sam and move on. And part of me hoped she couldn't because...well, I wouldn't wish her on anyone.

She glared at me for several seconds, and then her expression slipped into something that could only be described as intense sadness. "I forgave him a long time ago. It wasn't his fault, right?" She looked at me like she needed confirmation, so I nodded. "Besides," she said with a wry smile, "I can't be the bitch forever, can I?"

"Oh, I have the feeling you could if you really wanted to," I laughed, ducking just in time to avoid the speaker she threw at my head.

* * *

When we stepped into the living room, Quil and Embry were sitting on the sofa watching TV. Quil eyes went from me to Leah, and then back to me, a look of utter confusion on his face. Leah must have caught it, too, and true to form, she didn't hold back.

"Really, Quil? You think I'd go for _a wolf_? Quit being a dumbass and tell me why we're all here," she demanded.

I had to admit I was wondering the same thing. It wasn't unusual for both of them to come by, but it was always to hang out in the garage, not watch TV while I napped. And Leah _had _let on that we were supposed to be doing something.

"To help Jake, of course!" Quil said a little too happily.

I groaned. _Not this again. _"I told you I don't need your help."

"Okay, if that's what you want," Embry replied, nonchalantly shrugging. "Come on, Quil."

I eyed him skeptically. He was giving up _way_ too easily, and Embry _never _gave up. He was definitely up to something.

They both stood and walked toward the door as if they were leaving. Quil looked back over his shoulder, a mischievous glint in his eye, practically mocking me. Then Embry stopped and said, "Oh, and tell Bella I'm sorry about kissing her."

I was instantly in front of him, blocking the doorway, every muscle in me tensed and twitching. "What?" I snarled.

"It was nothing, really," he said with a smirk.

"You _kissed_ her?" My whole body was shaking now, and Quil was trying to step in between us, but I was stronger. I shoved him back. I could hear Leah laughing behind him.

"Yeah. I went to see her at school and---"

"_EXPLAIN!_"

Dad's bedroom door opened, but I didn't look up. After a moment, I heard it quietly shut again. Either he knew I could handle this, or he knew I couldn't, and he didn't want to get involved.

"Calm down, man. It's not like that," Embry laughed. "I just went to check out that Lauren girl---she's awful, by the way---and I _might_ have gotten a little carried away."

"_Carried away? YOU KISSED HER!_" My entire body was shaking, and for once, I didn't give a damn about what Sam would do to me if I hurt someone. Imprinted or not, you didn't get in the way of another pack member's relationship.

"Just on her _forehead_," he said, still laughing. "I couldn't help it. Really, man, he was asking for it."

"He _who_?" I asked. I was still furious, but I was starting to get myself under a little bit of control.

"That Newton kid," he replied. "You _have_ to do something about him."

"_You_ kissed her." I sounded like a broken record, but I was having trouble focusing on anything else.

"C'mon, man, you know I would never make a move on Bella, right?"

"Yeah," I said, still angry, and not sounding the least bit convinced. I _did _know that, but it didn't make everything okay.

"If it makes you feel any better, she looked totally freaked out."

"Why would that make me feel better? You upset her!" It actually did, a little. It's not like I thought Embry would seriously hit on Bella, and I certainly didn't think she'd be okay with it. The confirmation was nice, but it still irked me that he'd upset her. That defeated the whole purpose of just leaving things alone.

"Besides, she's not my type anyway. You're the only one here who likes 'em little and pale."

I tried not to smile when he said that, but I think he could tell I wasn't leaning so much toward killing him anymore. Bella was definitely on the small side...and the pale side. We probably looked a little strange together. I was nearly a foot taller than her---probably a foot wider, too---and she had the whitest skin I'd ever seen...on a human.

I glanced over at Leah, who was impatiently pacing back and forth. Leah was tall and dark and strong, and I'd seen other girls on the rez watching her enviously. She could have been beautiful if she ever stopped looking homicidal. But she didn't do a thing for me. Yeah, I definitely preferred little and pale.

"We need to borrow your car," Quil said suddenly.

"What for?" I asked.

"Just trust us," Embry said.

"Trust you? After you _kissed_ my girlfriend?"

"C'mon, man. It was like kissing my mom, okay?"

"Whatever," I said, not sure if he meant that to appease me or insult me. Since I didn't want to phase in the house, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. And the keys to my car.

* * *


	35. Retribution: Bella's POV

*****If you haven't already done so, read the short companion story LOYALTY before you read this chapter. It's Embry's POV regarding what he's been up to and what's about to go down.***  
**_I'm assuming you all know to just go to my profile for the link..._

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: RETRIBUTION  
(Bella's POV)**

I couldn't say I liked being back at work, but at least it wasn't a busy night. I suppose that wasn't unusual for Forks, though. Of course, that meant I had to find things to do to keep myself busy. In a momentary lapse of sanity, I felt relieved that Mike was working, too, because it meant I had someone to talk with while I came up with busywork for myself. But then I realized he wasn't even on the schedule, and the way he was following me around as I cleaned the display cases had me thinking of odd little things...like restraining orders and anti-stalking legislation.

Eight thirty came and went, and I was both relieved and disappointed to see no sign of Embry. Relieved because his behavior at my school had been disconcerting at best, and disappointed because I'd been looking forward to Jacob showing up early. I'd tried calling him again, but this time Billy said he wasn't there. Maybe he was already on his way to meet me. At most, I had another half hour to go before being able to tell Jake how weird Embry was acting. But I could survive thirty more minutes...right?

"What are you doing after work?" Mike asked.

Then again, maybe another thirty minutes would kill me. "Going home, I guess," I said. _'Meeting my boyfriend!' That's what I meant to say!_

"If you want, we could maybe go get something to eat," Mike said hopefully.

"Ah...I really can't, Mike. I'm supposed to---"

"Why don't you two go ahead?" Mrs. Newton interrupted. "It's so slow here tonight. I'll be fine closing up."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she gave me that 'no arguments' look and shooed us both toward the door. I grabbed my backpack and followed Mike. Great. Now I was going to have to stand in the parking lot waiting around for Jacob to show up. Mike was sure to try to take advantage of that.

Of course, I could have just grown a backbone and told him I had a boyfriend. I had actually been about to do just that when his mother said we could leave. But now I was having second thoughts. I knew that the minute I told him, Mike would have a million questions...not to mention opinions. And while it was really none of his business, I didn't want to be completely rude to him. Even if he was annoying at times, he was still a nice guy, and on some level, I considered him a friend. But after Lauren's little show the other day, I wasn't looking forward to what he might say. I knew he'd disapprove, just like he had with Edward. Only now, he'd think I was dating a guy who was cheating on me with Lauren, and if I wasted any breath defending myself or Jacob, I would come off like one of those stereotypical girls in denial about her two-timing jerk of a boyfriend. No, I couldn't avoid it forever, but I could certainly avoid it for now.

I started out the door and headed toward my truck, groaning inwardly when I heard Mike's faithful footsteps catching up to me. "See you later," I said. _Take the hint, please!_

"Sure you're not hungry?" he asked.

"Sorry, Mike. I already have plans," I said.

"I'll just walk you to your truck," he replied. "Girl...parking lot...alone..."

Yeah, sure he was just being chivalrous. I knew better than to believe that. This was Forks, where the worst crime to happen in the last century was probably a speeding ticket. And it's not like Mike could provide any protection from the real dangers I knew lurked in the shadows. He didn't look like much of a vampire-slayer to me. I was pretty sure I'd be just as safe walking to my truck alone.

"We could do something tomorrow night instead," he offered.

"I really can't. I'm sort of seeing someone." There. I said it. Now I'd get to be even more uncomfortable while I waited. Hopefully Jacob would show up soon and save me from the onslaught of questions.

"Who are _they_?" he asked suddenly, stopping me short.

"Huh?" If I'd been paying attention, I would have noticed sooner. But I'd been looking at the uneven pavement, concentrating on not falling down for fear that Mike would see the need to catch me. But now I saw them. Just a couple of spaces away from my truck stood Quil and Embry, talking to Jessica. And not ten feet away from where I now stood, Lauren had her arms around Jacob.

_This isn't what it looks like. It can't be. Jacob wouldn't do that. Why is Lauren here? What's Jessica doing with Embry? Crap! I have to tell Jake about Embry. Maybe it was nothing. It looks like nothing now. But Lauren and Jacob don't look like 'nothing.' _

My thoughts were a rushing jumbled mess, and I couldn't move. Jacob turned, his expression a mixture of surprise and relief as soon as he saw us. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mike step closer to me. _Tell me this isn't what it looks like, Jake._

I wanted to say something, but my voice was gone. I just stood there, dumbly staring, silently begging Jacob to walk away from her. And he did. He walked right up to me as Leah descended on Lauren.

"Hi," he said.

_Hi? I find you with Lauren and all you can say is hi? _"What's going on?" I asked.

"I have no idea," he said, pulling me closer. Lauren was scowling at us. I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned my head against his chest. Whatever weird scenario was playing out, Jake wanted nothing to do with it.

And as long as we were on the subject of weird scenarios..."Embry came by my school today," I said.

"I heard."

Uh-oh. "What did you hear?" I asked. Was he mad? Did he already know Embry was insane?

He smiled and said, "He has a death wish."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I stretched up on my toes and kissed him, instantly forgetting about Embry's weirdness, Mike's stalking, and Lauren's overall stupidity. It was supposed to be a quick kiss. After all, there were people around, and the whole situation was beyond strange. But Jacob wasn't letting go, and to be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted him to. I loved kissing Jacob, and if Mike got an eyeful at the same time...well, maybe _now_ he'd take the hint.

"Bella?!"

I guess Lauren got an eyeful too, and it sounded like she didn't like what she was seeing. I suppose it would have been childish to stick my tongue out at her, but I can't say I wasn't tempted.

"But she's so..._plain._"

Jake's lips broke from mine so fast I swayed on my feet. Before I could even make sense of what was happening, he spun toward her and took a long stride in her direction. The rage rolled off him in waves, and I instinctively grabbed his arm, knowing all too well there was no way I could stop him if he really wanted to...what _was _he going to do? Whatever it was, I knew it wouldn't be pretty.

"Jake," I pleaded. "It's okay. She's just...like that."

It was the truth. Lauren was just like that. She was mean and blunt, and in this case, absolutely correct. I _was_ plain. My skin was sickly pale, my eyes were the most boring brown imaginable, my figure was...well, not much of a figure at all. Next to Lauren and Jessica, I just blended into the background. And Jacob... Jacob was just beautiful. There was no other way to describe him. He'd gone from a sweet, smiling kid to the kind of man you'd see shirtless and leaning over some beautiful woman on the cover of a romance novel. And I didn't hold a candle to him. A girl would have to be blind not to notice him. No wonder Lauren was shocked. I was shocked myself, and I imagined it was just a matter of time before Jacob would realize he could get any girl he wanted. I felt uncomfortably like I had with Edward. Never quite good enough. Never quite deserving.

Oddly enough, Jacob stopped and turned back to me. Only now, I just wanted to go home and get away from the awful truth behind Lauren's observation. I stood there for a moment, crossing my arms over my chest and trying to think of a graceful way to make my exit. But grace was never my strong suit, so I just awkwardly excused myself. "Ah...I should probably be getting home," I said.

I stepped around Jacob and headed quickly toward my truck, only vaguely aware of Mike still standing behind me. I was so not looking forward to his questions now. I yanked open my truck door.

"Bells?"

Damn Jake and his silent movement. He was right behind me.

"Hmmm?" I mumbled. _Please just let me leave, Jake. I've had about all I can take for one night._

"Why are you way over there?" he asked as I turned around.

"I'm only a foot away from you, Jake. Where should I be?" _Home. I should be at home, preferably having nightmares. That would be better than this._

He stepped closer and I felt the edge of the truck seat pressing into my back. I didn't look like I'd be running and hiding any time soon. His fingers found my chin, raising my face so that I had to look at him, that perfect, amazing face reminding me of everything I wasn't.

"Right here," he said.

In spite of myself, I felt myself leaning toward him. Why did he have to be so irresistible? His arms were immediately around me, pulling me closer.

"You're perfect," he whispered, his lips claiming mine before I could say a word. And there it was, that effect he had on me. I was lost. I just had to be closer to him, had to feel him against me, had to taste him on my tongue. I stretched up toward him, my hands feeling their way up his chest, over his broad shoulders, around his neck. I felt his hands slide slowly down my back, skimming lightly over my bottom, and then gripping my thighs. _Well, this is new._

Then suddenly I was being lifted, my legs pulled around his waist, and, whatever he was doing, I couldn't bring myself to stop him. His mouth was rough against mine, his hands on my legs gripping tightly. He placed me on the edge of the truck seat, pushing me back away from him slightly, and a very bold side of me was disappointed at the distance. But he hadn't stopped kissing me, and that was all that mattered. I finally had to come up for breath, wishing all the while that oxygen wasn't such a necessity.

Overwhelmed, my head rolled back, and I felt his lips on my neck. His mouth, his tongue, his hot breath, all mingled together sending wondrous sensations through every nerve in my body. I tried moving forward, closer to him, but his hands on my hips held me still. I was gasping, craving more of his touch as he found his way behind my ear, down my neck, over my collarbone...

"I think you made your point!"

Oh my God. How had I forgotten we weren't alone? My head snapped forward and I caught Jake's eye. A small smile played about his lips, not smug, but happy. I couldn't help but smile back. Who was I to care if there were people around when he made me feel like this?

"What's your point, Leah?" Jake asked, his eyes never leaving mine.

"My _point_ is that whiny boy's in shock, and I'm not sure what to do with _this,"_ she said.

I peeked over Jake's shoulder, ignoring a stunned Mike, and I had trouble believing what I was seeing. Wow, Leah certainly wasn't someone I wanted to make angry. She had Lauren pressed up against Jake's car, nowhere to run, and Lauren looked like she was about to cry. For the first time I saw how truly frightening Leah could be. She was taller than most girls I knew, and there was no hiding her strength. Tensed, her arms showed off long sinewy muscles that somehow complimented her feminine build. Whether it was genetic, or just a result of growing up with a bunch of rough boys, I wasn't sure, but she was definitely able to take care of herself. The vindictive side of me was happy to see Lauren knocked from her pedestal. The human side of me felt a little sorry for her.

I looked back at Jake, his eyes still on me, completely uninterested in what was going on behind him. I poked him in the chest. "I think you'd better turn around."

Jake turned just enough to see what was happening. "Leave her alone, Leah," he said, sounding a little annoyed.

"She's not really as bad as she seems," I added, not really sure if I actually meant it.

Leah stepped back slightly, and I took my eyes away from the unfolding scene, distracted by the much more interesting bare chest in front of me. _Beautiful._

"Come on, Jessica!" I heard Lauren pleading.

I looked up to see Lauren already buckling herself in the car, while Jessica extricated herself from Embry arms. _Embry? Oh, I so did not need to see that._

"Remember, you promised to call me," Jessica giggled.

"He's in trouble, isn't he?" Jake asked me.

"I think so," I laughed. Poor Mike had been suffering Jessica's wrath ever since they broke up for the millionth time. Embry was _definitely_ in trouble.

"Me? Trouble?" Embry asked. He tried to sound innocent, but the smirk on his face betrayed him.

Jake turned his body away from me, and facing Embry now he leaned back against me. My fascination with Jake's chest was immediately replaced by a new, equally attractive set of muscles. _Mmmm. Deltoids._

I scooted forward now, Jake's hands no longer holding me back, and wrapped my arms around his chest. Leaning my chin on his shoulder, I peeked over Jake to see what was going on...and get my mind back to more appropriate matters.

"How about you tell us what just happened?" Jake asked Embry.

"How should I know?" Embry asked.

Leah spoke up. "Embry got everyone here. You two went at it in front of everyone---"

I felt my face turn six shades of red, and I briefly considered curling up into a ball and hiding behind Jake. We really had just put on a show for everyone, hadn't we?

"What Leah means is that Newton here and Blondie won't be a problem anymore. You can thank me anytime now," Embry said.

I snuck a glance at Mike who was suddenly utterly fascinated by the ground at his feet. He looked up at me briefly, and I mouthed, "I'm sorry." He shrugged and turned to leave. And I was truly sorry. I hadn't appreciated his persistent attempts to get me out on a date, but I'd never wanted to humiliate him.

"Thank you? What the hell, Embry?" Jake asked, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"I know. I'm a genius," he replied, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

"You're an idiot," I said. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. The last ten minutes had been one big well-coordinated disaster, and he just looked so proud of himself, like he'd just executed the successful takeover of a small country.

"I believe our work here is done," Quil said theatrically. "So...you're not gonna be needing your car, are you?"

"Why?" Jake asked.

"Well, there were these girls---"

"Go."

Leah rolled her eyes and climbed into the car with Embry and Quil. The let out a few howls as they pulled away. Boys.

Jacob turned back to me then. "Now, where were we?"

* * *


	36. Retribution: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER 18: RETRIBUTION  
(Jacob's POV)**

Embry. What was his problem? We'd been friends our whole lives, and I knew he liked to cause harmless trouble, but kissing Bella? Was that really necessary? Knowing I was overreacting, I tried to shake the feeling, but it still lingered. Even if it _was_ just a harmless peck, it bothered me. I knew he wasn't really trying to come between us. Embry had an ego the size of the Grand Canyon when it came to girls, and if he was interested in someone, there was nothing subtle and on-the-forehead about it. Besides, he would never betray one of his brothers. So what was he up to?

He'd been trying to get me to do something about Lauren. Was there really something I was _supposed_ to do? I knew nothing about her except her first name, so it's not like I could call her up and tell her I wasn't interested. Hell, the fact that I hadn't asked for her number or even tried to find her should have made that clear. Maybe Embry was trying to make me jealous, like Bella had felt when she'd heard that ridiculous lie. But that didn't make sense either. I saw how hurt Bella had been, and I knew she wouldn't have wanted me to feel that way. Besides, why would Embry suddenly care about Bella's feelings?

I was running through the woods, trying to make sense of it all, when I finally gave up. Embry had a way of scheming and complicating things that should have been simple. There was no point in trying to figure him out. The best thing to do would be to just ask him. Only I couldn't do that until he returned my car..._if_ he returned my car. He was a shitty driver. It was too bad we hadn't been phased at the same time today. It probably wouldn't have made much more sense, but I'd at least know what he was up to if I could have simply picked the thoughts from his twisted little brain.

When I came to the last patch of trees near Newton's, I stopped and phased back. I immediately wished I had thought to bring a shirt, if not shoes. I didn't mind waiting outside the few minutes until she got off work, but I didn't want to just say hi and then call it a night. I'd hoped we could just hang out at her place for a while, but I knew it would irritate Charlie if I showed up shirtless. Of course, I had no problem with making Charlie uncomfortable, but I had the feeling Bella would. And after Lauren's shit yesterday, and Embry's today, I didn't have the heart to put her through anything else, even if it was all in good fun. Maybe she would want to come back to my house instead. She didn't really have a curfew, so as long as she called Charlie first, he probably wouldn't mind. I'd just have to wait until another time to make the veins in his head pop out.

I stepped out of the woods and walked down the street toward the store. There were a few people hanging around at the other end of the parking lot beside an old white car and a red..._my_ car. What the hell was Embry doing_? If he's waiting for Bella... _My hands clenched into fists again, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Embry was lucky I had so much control over phasing.

Then I saw her. That girl from the beach, Lauren. It looked like she was throwing herself at Quil, who appeared to be desperate for an escape. _Better him than me. _Another girl was talking to Embry while Leah paced back and forth nearby. She looked like she couldn't decide if she was bored or furious.

"Finally! It took you long enough," Leah said as soon as she saw me. "I've been stuck here watching _this_," she said disgustedly.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't realize I was invited to...whatever this is."

"Jake!" Lauren squealed, running up and hugging me before I had a chance to react.

"Ah...hi," I said, trying to extricate myself from her grasp. Would I have been justified in just shoving her back about thirty feet? I was honestly considering it.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" she asked, sticking her bottom lip out in a fake pout.

The second I stepped back she was on me again. This was going to be awkward or ugly...and I was leaning toward ugly.

I heard a faint gasp and turned to see Bella standing several feet away. She was just staring, and for once, her face wasn't so easy to read. It was like a thousand different thoughts were flying through her head, but only one of them mattered at the moment. Hurt.

Newton was with her, and upon seeing me, he stepped possessively closer to her. When he reached over to put an arm around her, I couldn't conceal a low growl. He immediately drew his arm back, but he didn't step away. _He must be suicidal._

"And _why _would he be happy to see you?" Leah snarled, stepping in between Lauren and me.

Okay, _now _I didn't mind Leah's bitchy attitude so much. I quickly stepped over to Bella, smiling a little to myself when I saw Newton nervously back away from her. He looked like he wanted to run away and hide, while she looked up at me with a hesitant smile and wide eyes.

"Hi," I said quietly. How was I supposed to explain this? What the hell was I explaining anyway?

"What's going on?" she asked. She was trying to hide it, but I could tell she was nervous.

"I have no idea," I said, reaching for her hands and pulling her closer to me. We were just inches apart as the chaos played out behind us, but I didn't want to turn around. I didn't want to look away from Bella. She leaned forward and laid her head against my chest. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"Embry came by my school today," she said.

"I heard."

Her head snapped up. "What did you hear?" she asked hesitantly.

I smiled. "He has a death wish."

She giggled and stepped up on her toes to kiss me. I could feel Newton staring. Leah was laughing at Lauren, who was stuttering and tripping over her words now. Embry was probably just sitting back admiring his handiwork. God only knows what Quil was doing. But none of that mattered when Bella's lips were touching mine.

She started to pull away too soon, but I held her tightly, silently refusing to let her go. I knew she was probably worried about having an audience, but this was one audience we needed. Newton would now know that she was mine. Later on, I'd find a way to let him know just what would happen to him if he had any trouble accepting that.

"Bella?!" I heard Lauren say disbelievingly. "But she's so...so plain."

I let go of Bella and spun around, all rational thought fleeing. Plain? She was calling my Bella _plain_? I wasn't sure what I intended to do, but I took a step toward her, stopping only when I felt Bella's tiny hands pulling at my arm.

"Jake, it's okay. She's just...like that," Bella said.

She was using all her strength, digging her heels in, but other than the electric touch of her skin on mine, her grip had no effect at all. We both knew she wasn't strong enough to stop me, but something in her voice was. I turned back to her and was heartbroken at what I saw. Defeat. Shame. Resignation.

She dropped her hand from my arm and crossed her arms over her chest, but something was different. She didn't look like she was trying to hold herself together this time. Instead, she stared at the ground, self-consciously shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"Ah...I should probably be getting home," she said as she stepped around me and walked toward her truck. What the...? One minute she was laughing and kissing me, and the next she was walking away? She made no sense. Or did she actually _believe _what Lauren was saying?

"Bells?" I said, following her.

"Hmmm?" She stopped at her truck and opened the door, turning toward me instead of climbing in. Her head was down, but she was peeking up at me through her lashes.

"Why are you way over there?" I asked.

"I'm only a foot away from you, Jake. Where should I be?"

"Right here," I said, raising her chin so I could kiss her again.

There was a moment, an almost unnoticeable second, when it felt like she would pull away from me. But in the next second she'd stepped forward, closing the space between us, and I pulled her against me.

"You're perfect," I whispered against her lips, and before she could argue I pressed my mouth to hers. Her lips parted under mine, her tongue slipping into my mouth. Her hands snuck up my chest and over my shoulders, into my hair. I felt her raise up on her toes again, and I slid my hands down from the small of her back until I was holding the backs of her thighs. She gasped into my mouth but didn't pull away as I lifted her legs around me and sat her on the edge of the seat.

She clamped her legs around my waist as her hands flitted back over my chest. Charlie be damned, I was never going to wear a shirt again. My fingers dug into her hips, wanting so badly to pull her closer but knowing I would only get myself into trouble. I could feel her trying to scoot forward, and I wondered if it was instinct or if she was consciously trying to drive me nuts. But it didn't matter. This was enough for now.

We finally broke the kiss, both of us a little oxygen deprived, and her head fell back, her neck begging for attention. God, she was beautiful. My tongue slid along her neck, down to her collarbone, along the top of her shirt as her breath became more and more ragged, her chest rising and falling rapidly just below my chin...

"I think you made your point!" Leah's sharp voice came crashing into us.

Bella blushed and smiled, but didn't let go of me. Her sweet brown eyes were large and sparkling. I couldn't take my eyes away from her.

"What's _your_ point, Leah?" I asked, unable to sound as annoyed as I was. Bella had me under some kind of happiness spell.

"My _point_ is that whiny boy's gone, and I'm not sure what to do with _this."_

Bella peeked over my shoulder and her eyes widened before she looked back at me. She poked me in the chest and said, "I think you'd better turn around."

I looked over my shoulder to see a very nervous and clearly humiliated Lauren backed up against my car, Leah standing menacingly over her. If there was ever a girl that looked like she was capable of ripping someone's throat out, it was Leah.

"Leave her alone, Leah," I sighed.

"She's really not as bad as she seems," Bella added.

Leah seemed to consider her words, an evil smirk crossing her lips. Lauren cowed as Leah leaned in closer, whispering something I couldn't quite make out. As soon as Leah stepped back, laughing, Lauren scrambled away, practically throwing herself in the passenger seat of the white car.

"Come on, Jessica!" she whined.

Jessica pulled herself away from Embry's busy hands, giggling that he'd better call her. My eyes automatically rolled when he winked at her. She looked like the persistent type.

I looked back at Bella. "He's in trouble, isn't he?" I asked.

"I think so," she laughed.

"Me? Trouble?" Embry asked, feigning innocence as the two girls drove away.

I turned around fully this time, leaning back against the seat, against Bella. She slid forward a little, her legs still around me, and wrapped her arms across my chest. She propped her chin on my shoulder, inadvertently pressing herself into my back. At least I hoped it was inadvertent. I tried not to react, but Embry saw my face and laughed.

"How about you tell us what just happened?" I asked before he could make some smart-ass comment.

"How should I know?" he asked, that mischievous glint never leaving his eye.

"Embry got everyone here," Leah said, "You two went at it in front of everyone---" I felt Bella tense up, and Leah must have seen it, too, because she stopped mid-sentence. Had she finally grown a conscience?

"What Leah means is that the Newton kid and Blondie won't be a problem anymore. You can thank me anytime, now." Embry said smugly.

"Thank you? What the hell, Embry?"

"I know. I'm a genius."

"You're an idiot," Bella laughed. At least _she_ thought it was funny.

I glanced over at Newton. Had he been standing there the whole time? My eyes narrowed, and I was tempted to say something smug, but hesitated, worried that Bella would just think I was an ass. And then he looked up, taking in the image of Bella wrapped around me, and I saw defeat in his eyes. He scuffed his feet along the pavement as he walked away.

"I believe our work here is done," Quil said with a grin. "So...you're not gonna be needing your car, are you?"

"Why?" I asked. So far, both times I'd loaned Embry my car, it had somehow led to drama with Bella.

"Well, there were these girls---"

"Go." At least they'd be out of our hair for a while.

They piled into the Rabbit, and I turned back around to face Bella. "Now, where were we?"

* * *


	37. Questions: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER NINETEEN: QUESTIONS  
(Bella's POV)**

"We were leaving," I replied, unable to hide my smile.

Jake's lips brushed my ear. "Are you sure?"

I struggled to control my breathing.

"I could have sworn we weren't leaving just yet," he whispered.

"Charlie's expecting me," I said, although at this point I really didn't care about being late.

"Call him from my house," Jake said. "You can just tell---"

Whatever he was going to say didn't matter. I covered his lips with mine, instantly seeking out his tongue. Everyone was gone. It was just us and the night.

I slid forward, pressing myself against him and reveling in the warmth of his skin. I slipped my arms around his waist, tracing the muscular lines of his back as our lips moved gently together. This was the kind of kiss that every girl dreams about...strong and slow, sweet and consuming, soft and deliberate. His fingers brushed over my cheek, gently cupping my face as his other hand pressed against my lower back. And then I realized.

I realized why he'd been pushing me back, trying to keep those couple of inches between us. My perch on the edge of the seat as he stood in front of me made up for our difference in height, and the evidence of his attraction to me was pressed squarely between my legs. Before I he could react, before I could even consider what I was doing I slipped further forward, wrapping my legs around him.

He instantly tensed, and an almost silent growl rumbled through his chest as his shaky hands sought out my hips. I locked my ankles behind his back as I pushed his hands away. His kiss became hungrier even as his hold on me loosened, and he half-heartedly tried to pull away. I caught his lip between my teeth, biting lightly, and in the next second I was crushed against him.

His fingers tangled in my hair, pulling my head back as he assaulted my neck with hot, desperate kisses. His tongue darted out, burning a trail from my ear to my collarbone as his free hand found the top of my thigh. Our breathing grew heavier, our hands gripping each other more tightly. His fingers dug into my leg, alternately squeezing and relaxing, before sliding around and under the back of my shirt.

As much as I knew I should stop, I couldn't. I simply held him there against me, sucking his tongue into my mouth and second-guessing myself every second that his hands lingered over the clasp of my bra.

"Bella?" came a sharp voice from behind him.

Mrs. Newton?

Jake shoved my hips back almost roughly, and stepped an appropriate distance back, turning swiftly to see who had such terrible...or was it perfect?...timing.

"Ah...Mrs. Newton...I..." I stuttered, wishing Jacob hadn't stepped back so at least I could hide behind him. What was I supposed to say?

"I expect Charlie's waiting up for you?" she asked, casting a critical look toward Jake.

I couldn't even look her in the eye. I could feel her shock, her judgment, her intense disapproval. But while my immediate reaction had been embarrassment, I was suddenly overcome with indignation. So what if I was kissing Jacob? Wasn't that normal behavior for teenagers? I doubted she would have the same reaction if she'd walked up on me with Mike. I fought back the shudder that threatened to ripple through me at that thought, and I raised my head back up to meet her severe gaze.

"Probably not," I said. "He knows I'm with Jacob."

She arched an eyebrow, but mercifully chose not to call my bluff.

"Well...I...I'll see you Friday," she said, glancing at Jake again before turning and walking to her pretentious Cadillac.

I was still watching her walk when I heard a chuckle.

"So, Bells? What was that?" Jake asked, doing little to suppress his laughter.

"I didn't like the way she was looking at me...at _us_," I said.

"So now you're defending me?" he asked with a smirk.

"Get in the truck, Jake," I said, rolling my eyes.

He was still laughing as walked around to the passenger side and climbed in.

"Your place or mine?" Jake asked. His smirk told me he was well aware of the implications of his question.

"Yours," I sighed.

Truthfully, the last place in the world I wanted to go was home. Mrs. Newton was a bit of a meddler, always gossiping about people and usually exaggerating. I had a bad feeling that she was dialing Charlie's number before she even pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

"Shit!" The word escaped my lips before I could even process what I was seeing. Charlie's cruiser was parked right in front of Jacob's house. I briefly considered just backing out and heading home, but common sense squashed that idea. It didn't take supernatural senses to hear my truck coming from a mile away. Sure enough, before I could even cut the engine, Charlie was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a way-too-fatherly look on his face.

"What's his problem?" Jake asked.

"Mrs. Newton," I replied.

We both got out and started toward Charlie. Jacob walked closely beside me but didn't touch me. Thank God. Charlie was wearing his gun belt.

"Hi, Dad," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

He just nodded in my general direction, his stare still fixed on Jacob. "Jake, son, we need to talk."

I wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or call 911. I glanced up at Jake, and while he was smart enough to keep his grin to himself, there was a twinkle in his eye that told me he was enjoying this. If I wasn't afraid of hurting myself, I would have kicked him.

"Go inside, Bells," Charlie said.

I stepped past him, pausing in the doorway to give Jake a look that I hope said, 'Behave yourself,' then shut the door behind me.

"Bella," Billy said, nodding his greeting.

I just stood there, desperately wanting to ask how much trouble we were in, but not sure if I wanted to know. My curiosity got the best of me though, and I stepped over to the front window, slowly pulling the curtain back just enough to peek outside.

Charlie's back was to me, and though Jacob was facing me, I couldn't make out his expression in the darkness. While I was glad there was no yelling, I was disappointed that I couldn't tell what was being said. All I could see was Charlie talking with his hands and Jacob nodding.

"She called him, didn't she?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Yes," Billy replied. "Any truth to what she said?" he asked.

"I doubt it," I said, quietly adding, "We weren't really doing anything."

"Well then, there's nothing to worry about. Why don't you come sit down? Jake can take care of himself."

I shuffled over to the sofa, slouching against the end as I tried to concentrate on what appeared to be a sports news show. Like _that_ was going to keep my attention away from the possible homicide taking place in the front yard. I tried telling myself that if Jacob was really in danger of being shot, Billy wouldn't be so calm. But I wasn't convinced.

"So you two are pretty serious?" Billy asked.

I groaned. This could not be happening. If the thought of the whole relationship/sex talk with Charlie was disconcerting, having one with my boyfriend's father was positively mortifying.

"Look, I'll leave most of the worrying to Charlie, but I am concerned about my boy. He's in...well...he _cares_ about you a lot, and I just want to know that you're he's not going to get hurt."

My head whipped up, and I'm sure my surprise showed on my face. It's not that I didn't think Billy loved his son. It's just that he'd always been so laid back about things. The last thing I expected was for him to question_ me_. And now his words had me questioning myself.

Just how serious was I about Jacob? I knew he loved me, and I knew I loved him. But was it the way I loved Edward? Was it absolutely everything to me, and did I want it to be? I didn't want to dissect my feelings. I didn't want to pick it apart and compare it. The fact was that Jake made me happy, happier than I had thought I could ever be again. And when he was holding me, I felt like nothing could touch me, nothing could take away from what we had. He wasn't Edward. But he was every bit as important to me. And that was serious enough.

"I...ah..." I hedged, not sure if I wanted to be talking about love with Billy. In the end, I just decided to go with the words he'd used. "I care about him a lot, too," I finally managed to mumble.

"Good," he said, mercifully turning back to the television. "Just be good to him."

I didn't miss the warning in his tone.

* * *


	38. Questions: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER NINETEEN: QUESTIONS  
(Jacob's POV)**

All I wanted was to kiss her. Okay, so maybe that's not entirely true. I wanted to hold her, to hear her soft sighs and taste her sweet skin and think of nothing but what it felt like to be near her. Somehow Bella had turned me into a kind of romantic sap. And I was just fine with that.

"We were leaving," she smirked.

I leaned forward and whispered, "Are you sure?"

That seemed to do the trick. I heard her breath catch and I seized my chance. "I could have sworn we weren't leaving just yet," I said.

"Charlie's expecting me," she replied, no real argument in her tone.

"Call him from my house," I said. "You can just tell---"

I think I was going to say something about a phone...or...I don't know. Both word and thought were lost the second her lips crashed against mine. I felt her press closer to me, wrapping her arms and legs around me as I traced my fingers over her flushed cheeks and down to the small of her back. She was so soft and so sweet, and I never wanted to let her go.

And then she pressed closer. I tried to push her away, but there was no strength in my attempt. I made a last ditch effort to pull back, just enough to be a safe distance, but she made it impossible. And then her legs locked around me, and she bit lightly on my lip. I should have been worried about what she would think. She had to know. She had to feel it..._me._ But she only pressed closer.

It was heaven. It was hell. It was every extreme I could imagine. My brain stopped functioning.

My hands moved without my permission, one threading through her hair and yanking her head back so I could drag my lips down her neck, and the other gripping her thigh too tightly. The war within me raged over whether I should give in or stop, my fingers clenching and unclenching with each conflicting thought. I finally managed to let go, quickly moving my hand to her back, only to be further tempted by the band of exposed skin where the back of her shirt was raised. I dipped my fingers beneath the thin fabric, running them over the smooth skin of her back and stopping just over the clasp I knew I had no right to think about undoing.

I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. Bella had been so controlled, so adamant about boundaries, and yet here I stood, pressed firmly against her, her small body completely wrapped around me in a way that prevented all rational thought. With every breath her body rubbed against mine, her hips rocking just slightly against me, every nerve in my body screaming at me to touch her.

"Bella?"

The shrill female voice jolted me back to sanity and I pushed away, spinning around to see who it was that had probably saved me from making a huge mistake.

"Ah...Mrs. Newton...I..." Bella stumbled over her words as the woman practically glared at me.

I was too stunned, my mind still whirling, to say anything, but it was probably for the best. I wasn't sure I was capable of forming actual words.

"I expect Charlie's waiting up for you?" Newton's mom said. She was still watching me with suspicion, and despite the lingering haziness in my brain, I was beginning to get annoyed. Apparently Bella was too.

I watched as the emotions flickered across her face. She was embarrassed, and I was to blame. It was my fault her boss had walked up on us. I'd heard something behind us, but I had been too caught up in what I was feeling at the time to realize it was a some_one. _And if I hadn't been so damn...affected by Bella... Well, I should have had better self-control. But just as quickly as the guilt set in, it was replaced by curiosity.

Bella's eyes, which had been focused on the ground, lifted to meet Mrs. Newton's stare. She straightened up, squaring her small shoulders and holding her head high. The wide-eyed, shamed look she had disappeared, and I could almost see the confidence build in her expression. I'd always known Bella was a strong person, but I rarely got a chance to see it. It was beautiful.

"Probably not. He knows I'm with Jacob," she replied, practically daring Mrs. Newton to argue.

"Well...I...I'll see you Friday," Mrs. Newton said, giving me another look before she walked off.

I tried not to, but I couldn't help but laugh. My Bella was really something. Not afraid of vampires, werewolves, or Newtons.

"So, Bells?" I asked, "What was that?"

"I didn't like the way she was looking at me...at _us_," she said.

God, she was cute when she was angry, especially when that anger wasn't directed at me.

"So now you're defending me?" I asked.

"Get in the truck, Jake."

"Your place or mine?" I asked.

"Yours," she sighed.

We rode to my house in silence. I watched Bella, her face a constantly changing flow of expressions. I wished she would talk to me, but the little crinkle between her brows made it clear she was lost in thought. I knew she was upset about Newton's mom, but I hoped she wasn't mad at me for my part in it. We really hadn't done anything more than kiss, but it was...intense. And while I knew I'd gotten a little carried away with it, she really hadn't given me much choice.

* * *

"Shit!"

Bella's outburst brought me back into the moment and I looked up to see her dad's cruiser in our yard. The second Bella cut the engine, he stepped through the doorway, crossing his arms and looking like a man on a mission.

"What's his problem?" I asked her.

"Mrs. Newton," she said.

Charlie just glared at me as we walked toward the house.

"Hi, Dad," Bella said.

Charlie wasn't having it. He didn't even look at her.

"Jake, son, we need to talk."

Son? Yeah, I was in trouble. _This should be interesting._

"Go inside, Bells," Charlie said.

Bella shot me a worried look as she went inside. I wanted to laugh and tell her there was nothing to be concerned about, but I didn't think Charlie would appreciate not being taken seriously. As soon as she shut the door behind her, he spoke.

"Jake," he said.

"Charlie."

Silence.

We were getting nowhere fast. He continued staring at me as if he was sizing me up. _Bad idea, Charlie_. Bella would kill me if I phased in front of her dad. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, and then stilled as I saw triumph flash through his eyes. He was trying to intimidate me.

Sure, I was uncomfortable. I was standing in my front yard being stared down by a man who refused to speak when all I really wanted to do was go inside and be with Bella. But I wasn't intimidated by him. Mostly I was just bored...and a little curious.

"I got a disturbing call tonight," he finally said.

I could just picture Newton's mom calling 911 and reporting teenagers making out in her parking lot. I held back my laugh, but I'm pretty sure Charlie saw my amusement anyway.

He scowled at me, and his face started to turn an angry red. "Mrs. Newton says she caught you in...a _compromising_ position."

Compromising? No. Definitely not. Perfect, heavenly, I've-been-waiting-my-whole-life-for-this position, yes. I rolled my eyes. "Look, Charlie-" I started.

"No, you look," he said sternly, cutting me off. "That's my daughter, and I don't know what you thought was going to happen tonight, but you can just get that thought right out of your head. Billy may not care what kind of trouble you get into, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let Bella throw away her future because you can't control yourself."

"It's not like that," I said, wondering just how much of an explanation he needed. What did---or didn't---happen between Bella and me was no one's business but ours. Of course, he'd just referred to her as 'his' daughter, like he was trying to stake his claim, so telling him it was none of his business might not be such a good idea. Just then, I saw a slight movement from the front window. Bella was probably watching us, and I just hoped she couldn't hear us.

"Now, Jake, you know I've always thought of you as family," he said.

I nodded, waiting for the axe to fall. No one ever bothers to remind you that you have a good relationship with them unless they intend to do something to ruin it.

"But I'm not above arresting you."

"Arresting me?" I asked, completely shocked. "For what?"

"Public indecency, statutory---"

"Hey, she's older than I am," I interrupted. "Besides, sixteen's the age of consent here, so we're good."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't know exactly what I was doing. Charlie's face turned from red to almost purple, and his eyes went wide. I was counting down the seconds until the vein in his forehead just popped out and took on a life of its own.

"Relax, Charlie," I laughed. We're not sleeping together. Not even close."

"Oh...good...I just..." he stammered. "She's too young to be in a _serious_ relationship." He paused for a moment, and something like pain flashed across his face. "She's still my little girl, you know. I'm real glad she's over that Cullen boy, and I know you like her, but..."

"I love her," I corrected him.

"Yeah, well, just...just...you know."

He stared at me again for a few seconds, this time looking like he was trying to figure something out, and then he walked right past me, got in his car, and left.

* * *


	39. Choice: Bella's POV

**A special thanks to my Twitter followers, LiveJournal friends, and Author Alert subscribers for all the reviews of Charlie's POV one-shot.**  
For those of you who haven't read it yet, head on over to my profile and select the story called **_Confrontation_**.  
It's a peek into Charlie's mind before and after he spoke with Jake.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY: CHOICE  
(Bella's POV)**

I was just about out of fingernails to chew off when Jacob finally came through the door…with Paul and Rachel on his heels. I hoped they didn't witness Charlie's talk with him. Rachel already hated me enough, though I still couldn't figure out why. And Paul was just Paul.

Billy looked up from the TV at the same time I did. Jacob didn't appear to have any bullet wounds. In fact, he looked…relaxed. Paul smiled at me, and Rachel…well, she wasn't glaring at me, so that was a plus.

"You gonna stay and watch the movie with us?" Paul asked me.

"Ah…I…" I looked at Jacob, hoping for some indication as to whether he thought Charlie would let me. He didn't seem fazed at all.

"C'mon, Bells. You can call your old man and ask if you want, but you know he won't mind.

"He left?" I asked. _That_ wasn't what I expected. I'd actually assumed he was still outside, losing his patience while waiting for me. From the way he'd zeroed in on Jake the second we got here, I half-expected him to throw me in the backseat of his cruiser and escort me home like a criminal.

"Yeah, everything's cool," Jake said with a shrug.

Cool? Well, until I had a chance to interrogate him without so many witnesses, I'd just have to take his word for it. But I _would _be calling Charlie to get permission to stay.

Jake stepped into the kitchen and came back with a couple of sodas while Paul muttered and cursed at the DVD player. I made a mental note of the time---10:22. It would take Charlie a half hour to get home, and I planned on calling him the second he got in the door.

"Oh, get out of the way," Rachel griped, shoving Paul aside and pushing a couple of buttons on the player. He just laughed at her and grabbed a drink from Jake.

They certainly made for an interesting couple. Between his hair-trigger temper and her blatant show of spite, it was hard to believe they could actually manage a relationship. Then again, they were a perfect match in that respect. Maybe it had something to do with that whole imprint thing that Emily had mentioned. I'd been meaning to ask someone about that, but I wasn't really sure I wanted to know the answer.

Jake plopped down at the end of the sofa and scooped me up onto his lap before I could protest. Not that I really wanted to.

"You kids behave yourselves," Billy said, "I'm off to bed."

The second I heard Billy's voice I was scrambling to get off Jake's lap. It was one thing to behave this way in front of the pack. It was quite another to do it in front of parents. But Billy had spun and wheeled himself off toward his room before I could figure out how to escape Jake's strong grasp. Admitting defeat, I sighed and sank back against him just as the movie started.

Rachel and Paul were snuggled up in the big recliner. It didn't look comfortable, but they seemed happy. They were too busy whispering to watch the movie, so I took my chance.

"Well?" I asked. "What'd he say?"

"Nothing much," Jake replied. "Newton's mom gave him some x-rated version of us in the parking lot, and I set him straight."

The second he said 'x-rated,' I felt my face blaze red. Charlie and I had a kind of 'don't ask–don't tell' policy when it came to boys, and I was mortified at just the idea of what he might have been thinking. And Mrs. Newton…_Ughh!_ How was I ever supposed to face her at work? Even if Jake had convinced Charlie that she was wrong, I was pretty sure nothing would change _her_ mind. Great.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"I just told him we weren't…that we're not even close to anything like that," he said.

Technically, he was right. We weren't anywhere near having sex---or whatever it is that Mrs. Newton had told Charlie. But I knew what had been doing was more than innocent kissing. And Charlie would have shot Jake on the spot if he'd been the one to walk up on us.

"And he believed you, right? I mean, he's not gonna sit me down for some awful talk when I get home?"

"Yeah, he looked like he could tell I wasn't lying. Plus, I told him I love you."

"You what?" I asked, a little too loudly. Out of the corner of my eye I say Rachel and Paul emerge from their cocoon to stare at us.

Jacob laughed. "You should've seen the look on his face, Bells."

I groaned. If there were two things in the world that didn't go together, they were Charlie and anything to do with emotions. There weren't words to describe how relieved I was not to have witnessed that conversation.

"I do, you know," Jake said softly.

I nodded.

"No. I _really_ do," he said. "I love you."

This was it. This was that moment that I didn't even know I'd been waiting for. It wasn't the words---I'd heard them from him before. I'd even used them myself. It was the feeling, the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes when I raised my face up to look at him, _really _look at him. This wasn't love between friends. This was so much more. I didn't only love him. That would never be enough. I was _in love_ with him. We'd only been officially dating for less than a week, but we'd been together in one way or another for so much longer. Somehow it didn't seem rushed or impetuous. It just seemed…perfect.

"Aw, don't cry, honey," he said, smiling a little as he pulled me into the crook of his neck.

He held me against him, stroking his fingers up and down my back. I hadn't even realized I was tearing up, and now here I was crying on him. Why did I have to be such a girl about things?

"I love you, too," I whispered against his skin.

We sat there in silence as I wondered why it had taken me so long to figure it out.

* * *

Jake nudged me. "Time to make that call," he said.

I turned from him to look at the clock on the DVD player. It had been thirty-two minutes since we'd started watching the movie. Well, everyone else might have been watching it. I had been too wrapped up in Jacob to even turn my head toward the TV. I grudgingly pulled myself from his arms and walked to the kitchen to call Charlie.

"_Hello?"_

"Dad? Is it okay if I stay and finish a movie?"

"_Just you and Jake?"_ he asked, no small amount of suspicion in his voice.

"No. Rachel and Paul are here, too," I said. "But Billy went to bed." I reasoned that if Charlie had trusted me enough to let me stay despite Mrs. Newton's gossip, I should at least be honest with him.

"_Okay. Just call me before you head out,"_ he replied.

"Won't you be asleep?" I asked.

"_I'd rather know when to start worrying,"_ he said.

"Okay. Oh, and thanks."

"_Sure, Bells," _he said.

I put the phone back on the charger and turned back toward the living room. Jake was giving me an 'I told you so' grin.

"So, Bella," Rachel started as I made my way back into Jake's lap. "Have you decided on a college yet?"

To say I was surprised that Rachel was speaking to me would be putting it mildly. She had a smile on her face that could almost be construed as friendly. But Jake seemed to tense at the question, and frankly, so did I.

"Ah, no. Not yet," I replied. Truthfully, I didn't want to decide on a college. What I really wanted was for someone to just build a major one in Forks. Better yet, La Push. Of course, I knew that wasn't an option. My choices were limited to the acceptance letters I'd received and my meager college fund. I just hoped that wherever I ended up, it wouldn't be too far away for me to see Jake.

"You should go to Peninsula," she said. "That's what I'm doing so I don't have to be so far away." She smiled at Paul then turned back to me. What she actually trying to be helpful?

"I don't know if my truck can handle the drive," I said. Port Angeles wasn't _that_ far away, but making that kind of trip even once a week would be a sure way to run my old truck into the ground. And it's not like I could afford something newer.

"Well, Jake can take care of that. Can't you, Jake?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, and if you schedule your classes right, you can probably take most of them at the extension in Forks," Rachel added. "I mean, unless you don't want to stay…"

"No!" I said, a little too abruptly. "I just…haven't figured it all out yet."

Rachel looked like she wanted to say something else, but Paul started the movie again and they went back to their whispering. I leaned back into Jacob.

"Want me to look at your truck?" he asked, a much bigger question looming behind those words.

Did I really want to base my college decision on a relationship? What if it didn't work out? What if I was passing up the chance to go to a better school? What if I ended up missing out on a whole different world out there? Then again, what if going away meant I was walking away from Jacob, the best thing to ever happen to me?

"Yes."

* * *


	40. Choice: Jacob's POV

**CHAPTER TWENTY: CHOICE  
(Jacob's POV)**

Well, _that _was interesting. I expected Charlie to light into me the second I said I loved her. But he walked away. Just walked away! I knew I gave him a hard time. It was just so easy to push his buttons. But in the end, he needed to know I loved her…because when it came down to it, that was really the only thing that mattered. I was still standing there, shaking my head, when I was blinded by a pair of high beams.

"Damn!" Paul exclaimed as he and Rachel got out of the truck. "I thought we were gonna have to bail you out!"

"Nah, not yet," I laughed. "But if you're trying to sneak into my sister's room, you're too early. I'm pretty sure Dad's still up."

"Whatever, man," he laughed.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "We're watching a movie. Wanna join?"

"Dude, run while you can. She picked it out," Paul said, gesturing toward Rachel.

Normally I would have taken his warning seriously, but I really didn't care what movie it was, just as long as Bella would stick around for it.

Bella was nervously sitting on the sofa when we walked inside. She looked curious, anxious, and relieved at the same time, and then all at once she looked disappointed. I was about to ask her what was wrong when Paul asked her if she was going to stay for the movie.

She looked uncertain. "Ah…I…" she stammered.

"C'mon, Bells. You can call your old man and ask if you want, but you know he'll say yes," I said.

"He left?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, everything's cool," I said.

Was she really that worried about Charlie? Yeah, I guess she probably was. In some ways, it seemed like I knew her father better than she did, but that only made sense considering the fact that he was like a second dad to me. Bella, on the other hand, had only seen him for a few weeks each year---and sometimes not even that much. Charlie always acted like he was a real hard-ass, but I knew better.

I grabbed some sodas and went to join her on the sofa. She didn't seem to mind when I pulled her onto my lap, and I smiled at the thought that she was finally beginning to realize that she belonged as close to me as possible.

We couldn't have acted like this in front of Charlie. He always watched me like a hawk when I was with Bella, but Dad didn't mind. Sure, having my girlfriend on my lap didn't sound all that innocent, but he knew it wasn't like that. I just liked having her in my arms, and she always seemed so comfortable snuggled up against me. Besides, she was sitting sideways with her head on my chest, a position that made it hard to even kiss her. But then Dad broke the spell when she said he was going to bed. She stiffened up immediately, but the second he was gone, she relaxed again.

Paul and Rachel took the big chair, and while it was a little weird seeing my sister and my friend together, they seemed happy. Plus, I had to have some faith in the whole imprinting thing. That was probably the only way Rachel was going to keep a man anyway, what with her attitude and all.

"Well? What'd he say?" Bella asked quietly.

I assumed she was asking about Charlie. "Nothing much," I shrugged. "Newton's mom gave him some x-rated version of us in the parking lot, and I set him straight."

She pressed her face closer into my chest, and I knew she was embarrassed. But it's not like I was going to lie to her. Honestly, I didn't know what Newton's mom had told Charlie, but it was pretty clear that, whatever she had said, it wasn't good. She probably hadn't even taken into account the fact that we were fully clothed. Well…Bella was. I was only as fully clothed as I usually was, but she probably hadn't known that.

"What did you say?" she asked.

"I just told him we weren't…" Maybe I should have reconsidered that whole honesty thing. I wasn't sure how Bella would react if I had to tell her that I got Charlie off my back by telling him we weren't having sex. "…That we're not even close to anything like that," I finally said. There. Maybe telling her the same way I told Charlie would keep her from being as embarrassed.

"And he believed you, right? I mean, he's not gonna sit me down for some awful talk when I get home?"

"Yeah, he looked like he could tell I wasn't lying. Plus, I told him I love you."

"_You what_?" she asked, raising her voice a little.

Paul's head immediately popped up, and though he was still looking toward the TV, I knew he was listening in. Rachel turned and stared at us, not even trying to be subtle, so I kept my voice low. With any luck, Paul's pack loyalty would prevent him from telling my nosy sister what I was saying.

"You should've seen the look on his face, Bells," I laughed quietly.

Bella groaned and kept her head down. Was I not supposed to tell Charlie?

"I do, you know," I added.

She just nodded her head against me.

"No. I really do," I said, needing her to know just how much. "I love you."

She raised her head up to look at me from under her lashes. She looked so…so…vulnerable. In an instant, her eyes had teared up, and I just hoped it was a happy thing. Why girls cried when they were happy, I would never understand.

"Aw, don't cry, honey," I said, pulling her closer.

She clung to me tightly. "I love you, too," she whispered.

And my heart exploded.

* * *

It had been half an hour since the movie started, and I was pretty sure it was the worst movie ever. The ghost of a woman who wasn't actually dead was haunting some guy living in her apartment. It didn't even make any sense! Paul must have been thinking the same thing. Every so often he'd glance over Rachel's head at me and give me one of those looks that clearly said, 'What the hell?' And we were only a third of the way through it.

I nudged Bella. "Time to make that call," I said, knowing she'd want to check in with Charlie.

She sighed, pulling herself up, and walked to the kitchen.

I heard her speaking softly into the phone, asking Charlie if she could stay. I listened for a second just to make sure he wasn't going to give her a hard time, and then turned back to the stupid excuse for a movie. Unfortunately, Rachel had paused it, probably just to prolong the torture.

"So you really love her, huh?" Rachel asked me.

Paul gave me an apologetic look. So much for pack loyalty.

"Yeah," I shrugged.

Rachel looked thoughtful for a moment, glanced back at Paul, and then smiled at me. I couldn't tell if it was a friendly smile or a devious one. Rachel was tricky that way.

Bella hung up and turned to me with a relieved look. I pretended not to see when she stumbled over the edge of the rug before flopping back down on my lap. Then, instead of starting the movie again, Rachel spoke up.

"So, Bella, have you decided on a college yet?" she asked.

If this was her way of reminding me that Bella was going to graduate and leave me behind, I was going to smother her with a pillow while she slept. College was one of the many things we hadn't talked about yet, and I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear the answer. Bella was smart, smarter than most people I knew, and that was going to take her away from me. I was tied to the rez, stuck here with the pack, destined to live out my life in La Push. But Bella was destined for greater things. I couldn't ask her to stay, and I couldn't follow her. The thought made me sick to my stomach.

"Ah, no. Not yet," Bella replied.

"You should go to Peninsula. That's what I'm doing so I don't have to be so far away," Rachel said.

For the first time in…forever, I wanted to hug my sister. Maybe she wasn't evil after all.

"I don't know if my truck can handle the drive," Bella said.

At least she was thinking of visiting.

"Well, Jake can take care of that. Can't you, Jake?" Paul asked.

I wanted to hug him, too.

"Yeah, and if you schedule your classes right, you can probably take most of them at the extension in Forks," Rachel added. "I mean, unless you don't want to stay…"

"No!" Bella said, much to my relief. "I just…haven't figured it all out yet."

I gave Paul a pleading look, and he started the movie, stopping Rachel from saying any more. She had planted an idea, and I could only hope Bella would consider it. Once Rachel's attention was back on the crappy movie, I focused on Bella.

"Want me to look at your truck?" I asked.

She hesitated, and it felt like decades passed in the time it took her to answer. But when she did, my heart exploded again.

"Yes."

That truck was going to last forever by the time I was done with it.

* * *

**_A/N: So it seems like Jake and Bella have been together forever, doesn't it? Well, I sat down and did a timeline based on the dates in New Moon and the corresponding chapters in my story. Here's what I discovered: _**

**Thurs, March 16th, 2006:** Cliff-diving incident; Jacob drops Bella off at home. _In New Moon, this is when Alice showed up._

**Fri, March 17th, 2006: **Harry's funeral; Bella & Jacob make out on the sofa; Jake sees Bella with Mike at the beach party, and Mike is stupid enough to kiss Bella. _In New Moon, Alice & Bella spent the day together and Harry's funeral was not until the following day._

**Sat, March 18th 2006: **Jake wakes Bella from nightmare; bonfire at Sam & Emily's; power outage; Bella spends the night. _In New Moon, Harry's funeral was today. Alice had her vision, and Bella left for Italy with Alice despite Jacob's protests._

**Sun, March 18th:** breakfast with the pack; the "virgin talk," and laying under the stars in the back yard. I_n New Moon, Alice & Bella are on the plane to Italy, making plans._

**Mon, March 20th, 2006:** Bella skips lunch, and Jessica lies about Jake; Bella and Jake watch Jane Eyre while Charlie keeps an eye on them. _In New Moon, this was the day that Bella stopped Edward from stepping into the sunlight. She met the Volturi who insisted she be changed.  
_

**Tuesday March 21st, 2006:** Lauren lies some more & Bella skips school; movie night at Sam & Emily's; Embry starts scheming. _In New Moon, Edward, Alice, and Bella fly back to Forks._

**Wed, March 22nd, 2006:** Embry shows up at Forks High; everyone sees Jake & Bella together at Newton's; Charlie confronts Jake._ In New Moon, Edward explains why he left, the Cullen's vote on changing Bella, and Edward agrees if Bella will marry him._

**Damn. A lot has happened in just a few days, huh?**

* * *


	41. Admission: Bella's POV

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: ADMISSION  
(Bella's POV)**

Jacob and Paul were outside the second the movie was over. Jake mumbled something about checking in with Sam, and I had to assume that involved phasing. Unfortunately, that left me alone with Rachel. There I sat, playing with the seam of the worn sofa cushion while trying to ignore the awkward silence. Finally, Rachel spoke up.

"Have you ever seen them…change?" she asked.

"Once," I replied. "But I saw them as wolves once before---only I didn't know it was them. Have you?"

She shook her head. "Paul won't let me. He says it's dangerous."

If anyone was dangerous, Paul was the one. "I guess so," I said, trying to sound casual about it. It probably wasn't a good idea to tip her off that her boyfriend was a loose cannon. "They're not just regular wolves," I explained. "They're enormous."

"So it's true then?" she asked. "That's what happened to Emily?"

I nodded.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then she caught me completely off guard.

"You know I don't hate you, right?" she asked, abruptly changing the subject.

No, I didn't know that. We had been friends…sort of…when we were younger, but I honestly didn't know her very well. And I'd been surprised by her apparent hostility toward me since Jake and I got together. Biting my tongue, I shrugged and gave her a half-smile. What had she expected me to say?

"I just…well, I thought maybe you were using him. You know…to get over the leech," she explained.

I guess I had to give her points for not beating around the bush, although I inwardly cringed at her derogatory term for the Cullens. "I wouldn't do that to him," I said, hoping she wouldn't question my lie.

It hurt to admit, even just to myself, but I _had_ used Jacob. I had used him from the moment I pulled up to his house with two motorcycles. I'd used him to keep me from falling apart, to help me "hear" Edward's voice, to show Charlie that I didn't need psychiatric help. But things were different now, _really_ different.

I couldn't pinpoint when it happened. It wasn't a particular bike ride or walk on the beach. It wasn't a certain night in his garage or doing homework. It wasn't because of a declaration he'd made or an event that made me "see the light." It had just happened. Slowly and steadily and with increasing strength I had fallen in love with my best friend. The last thing I was going to do was shoot myself in the foot by telling his sister it had ever been anything else.

She looked at me for a few seconds, her dark eyes narrowing as if she was searching for something else from me, and then she frowned. Crap. Was I that transparent? I'd always known I was a terrible liar. She looked over her shoulder at the door and then leaned toward me, lowering her voice to a loud whisper.

"You can't go away, Bella. Jake's not supposed to leave the pack, but he would if he had to. He'd do it to be with you, and it would ruin everything."

I knew I looked shocked. Yes, I'd known Jake was tied to La Push and the Quileutes, especially now that he was a werewolf. But even if he hadn't been, I never thought he'd consider leaving Billy all alone. And I really _did_ want to stay nearby. It never even occurred to me that Jake might go with me if I left.

"I wouldn't ask him to do that," I said. "Jake belongs here."

"Do you _really_ love him?" she asked.

"Yes," I said without hesitation.

Her expression softened. "I know you probably think he's just a kid," she said, "but he's not. This isn't just some crush for him. He's maturing faster now, like his brain is catching up to his body. Paul's younger than me, too, but in a lot of ways he's more grown-up than the guys back at school. I mean, Jake's still an idiot---"

"Gee, thanks, Rach!" Jacob interrupted loudly.

"Anytime," she laughed as she got up and walked over to Paul. He took her hand and pulled her toward her bedroom, turning back to wink at us before he closed the door behind them.

"You ready to go, Bells?"

Definitely.

* * *

Jacob insisted on riding home with me, explaining that he was on patrol and would be out half the night anyway. It was comforting knowing that he'd be nearby, even if I wouldn't be able to see him, but I still drove more slowly than I had to, not wanting to say goodbye so soon. Besides, I was still thinking about what Rachel had said.

I guess it made sense that I'd seen them phased and she hadn't. It probably wasn't something I was ever meant to see, but it couldn't have been avoided that day in the meadow. And Paul hadn't been able to control his temper when the pack found out I knew about them. If Jacob hadn't been able to phase so quickly…

I glanced over at Jake, but he was just staring out the window. Rachel had su­rprised me when she said she had thought I was using Jacob. I hadn't expected everyone to just accept me, especially with the whole wolf-vampire conflict of interest, but once the pack was okay with me, I'd just kind of assumed everyone else would be. Part of me wanted to tell Jacob about the conversation, but I hesitated. We'd just had that amazing moment tonight when we realized how much we really loved each other. I didn't want to give him any cause to doubt me now.

"So…I'm thinking of quitting Tribal School," Jake suddenly said.

I ventured a look at him, half-expecting him to be joking. His earnest expression threw me for a loop.

"What? Why? You can't just drop out," I argued. Even if he didn't want to go to college, he at least needed to graduate high school. I knew from Charlie that Billy was having a hard enough time supporting himself with just his disability check. There was no way he could support Jake indefinitely.

"You think I want to drop out?" he asked, sounding a little insulted.

So he wasn't talking about dropping out. The only other option he had then was to transfer.

"It's too late in the year to transfer to Forks. You'd lose at least a semester if you quit now," I explained.

"I've already lost the semester, Bells," he sighed.

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking my eyes off the road again.

"I just can't do it. I patrol _and_ spend time with you _and_ keep my grades up. Hell, I can barely find time for a nap, much less a full night's sleep." He looked down at the floor then, like he was trying to avoid direct eye contact. "I'm already failing four of my classes, and the others aren't much better. Something's gotta give."

I stared at him for a second too long, bringing my eyes back to the road just in time to avoid swerving off the shoulder. This was so not the time to be having this discussion. "Does Sam know?" I asked. "Maybe he can give you some time off," I suggested, hopefully.

"You know I can't do that to the pack," he said. "Sam already gives me more time off than anyone else."

He was going to tell me we needed to spend less time together. "Maybe I can help," I said. "We can get your grades back up---at least enough that you can pass." _Please. Anything. _My stomach was churning.

"It's no big deal, Bells," he said, surprisingly calm for someone who was about to either ditch his girlfriend or cement his future as a cashier at the nearest drive through.

"No big deal?" I asked angrily. "It's too late to transfer and you can't just drop out! I can help you. Or you can do summer school. Have you talked to your teachers? Maybe they'll let you retake some tests or something. But you are_ not_ quitting! What kind of future are we supposed to have if all you're qualified to do is bag groceries?" _Uh-oh. Did I just say "we?"_

"Relax, Bells," he laughed.

Really? He was laughing? "This isn't funny, Jake!"

Tears were stinging my eyes, and here he was laughing. He was infuriating!

"I'm not dropping out," he said.

"Damn right you're not," I huffed; glad that he'd come to his senses, but still mad that he'd even considered something so stupid.

"I'm gonna do that Insight School," he said. "Embry's already doing it, and he's gonna graduate early."

"The online one?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's a really good deal, Bells. They give you a computer and everything. And---what the hell?!"

I turned my eyes quickly back to the road, afraid I was about to swerve off again, when I saw it. There was a strange glow over the tree tops, and the air around us was thick and hazy.

"Pull over!" Jake shouted in a tone that I didn't dare question.

Before I could even come to a complete stop, he'd thrown the door open and disappeared into the woods.

"Jake!" I yelled after him, trying to make out something, _anything_ in the darkness. What was going on? Was he coming back? Was there something out there? I started to get out, and then thought better of it. What if something reall was out there? I reached over and yanked the door shut, slamming the lock down and wondering what I was supposed to do. A chill ran through me at the thought of the things that could be just out of sight, cloaked in the black of the nighttime forest. Things that might just be waiting for a human sitting all alone in an old truck on the side of the road.

Something heavy thudded against my door, and a massive silver figure streaked by. I didn't even realize I was screaming.

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**Poll:** It's pointless, really, but I'm curious. I know some of you are teenagers and some are grandmothers. Let's hope none of you are teenage grandmothers, 'cause that would just be strange. Anyhow, there's a poll on my profile page. Please stop by and click on your age group. It won't have any effect on the story---I just find it interesting that it appeals to such a wide range of people.


	42. Admission: Jacob's POV

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Sorry to start this out on such a sad note, but for those of you who are not aware, we lost a great fanfiction author. On May 8th, "Daddy's Little Cannibal" was tragically killed in a drunk driving accident. She was 18 years old.  
****In her short time with us, she contributed 43 stories here on the site, and was honored with a Twilight Award for best one-shot. I did not know her personally, but I certainly knew her work. I'm still amazed by the teenage girl who loved Twilight and writing so much that she shared with us all the wonderful workings of her very colorful imagination. **

**_"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." --Albert Pike  
_**

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: ADMISSION  
(Jacob's POV)**

"Coming?" Paul asked me.

Now that the stupid movie was finally over, we needed to check in with Sam. I was supposed to join in on patrol at midnight, and Paul had the night off. All we needed to do was phase, listen in for a second, and make sure nothing weird was going on. There hadn't been signs of any leeches in days, but we weren't stupid enough to let our guard down. Especially since they were after my Bella.

"Be right back," I told Bella. "Just gotta check in with Sam."

She glanced over at Rachel and then nodded at me. I hoped we could make this quick so Rachel wouldn't start spewing any of her shit at Bella. Ever since Rachel had been back, she'd been making my life difficult, and I wouldn't have put it past her to seize an opportunity while I was out of the room.

Paul and I headed outside and jogged across the yard to the tree line. Just inside the forest, we ditched our clothes and phased. He was slower than I was, as usual.

We were greeted by the familiar crackling of their minds. Sam, Quil, and Embry were poking around in the forest near Forks. Sam was focused on his job, and Quil and Embry were thinking about girls. Seth and Leah were napping in the woods by Bella's, and Seth was having a really weird dream about spaghetti and robots. Leah didn't seem to be dreaming at all, and for that I was grateful. I'd hate to see the horrors her subconscious mind could come up with.

The second Embry sensed me he focused on thoughts of Jessica, some of them real, some of them obviously figments of his warped imagination. None of which I wanted to see.

'_At least he didn't imprint,' _Paul laughed.

'_Would've served him right,'_ I said, just as Embry's thoughts took a turn for the truly perverted.

I phased back before my mind needed bleaching, and pulled my shorts back on. Everything seemed to be normal, boring even, and while that was a relief of sorts, it didn't make me look forward to my shift. I just hoped Sam would send me to Bella's. I always felt better when I was near her.

"Think your dad's asleep?" Paul asked.

"Really?" I asked. "You're asking _me_ that?" I knew exactly why he was asking, and it wasn't something I wanted to think about.

"Dude, c'mon. I _imprinted_. It's not like I'm gonna dick her over or anything."

He had a point, but still... "You really wanna risk that?"

"Yeah, she's worth it," he said with a grin. "Don't tell me you never sneak into Bella's room."

"I don't," I insisted. "If Charlie didn't kill me, Bella would."

He got a good laugh out of that, and we walked back out into the yard and toward the house. I could only hope we'd been quick enough that Rachel and Bella hadn't started talking. Not that I would have minded if they'd suddenly become friends or something, but I knew Rachel, and she didn't have any friends outside of the tribes. I didn't think my five minute absence was going to change that.

Paul and I stopped just outside the front door. We could hear every word they were saying, and they were talking about me.

"_You can't go away, Bella. Jake's not supposed to leave the pack, but he would if he had to. He'd do it to be with you, and it would ruin everything."_

"She's leaving?" Paul whispered.

I shrugged and waited to see what Bella would say.

"_I wouldn't ask him to do that. Jake belongs here."_

Paul gave me another questioning look, and I shrugged it off again. Bella wouldn't leave me. She loved me. Yeah, she had to go to college, but like Rachel said, it didn't have to be far away.

"_Do you __really__ love him?"_ Rachel asked.

A million years passed in the split second it took her to answer. Surely she loved me. She'd _said_ she loved me. Bella wasn't the type to just say something because she thought she had to.

"_Yes."_

"_I know you probably think he's just a kid, but he's not. This isn't just some crush for him. He's maturing faster now, like his brain is catching up to his body. Paul's younger than me, too, but in a lot of ways he's more grown-up than the guys back at school. I mean, Jake's still an idiot---"_

I threw the door open. "Gee, thanks, Rach!"

Rachel and Paul headed toward her room, and I pulled Bella in for a hug. I never wanted to let her go, and I was seriously reconsidering the whole sneaking into her room thing.

"I guess I should go," she said, sounding disappointed.

"Yeah, guess so. But I'm coming with you," I said.

She gave me a puzzled look.

"Patrol," I explained. "I have to be in Forks anyway, so I may as well ride with you.'

She gave me a bright smile and we headed out to her truck.

* * *

I never thought I'd be so happy that Bella drove such a slow vehicle. But the more time I had with her, even if it was just sitting there in silence, the happier I was.

Tonight she'd said she loved me. And not in that 'you're my boyfriend so I have to' kind of way. It was like her heart had turned into three simple words, and the whole world shifted on its axis when I heard them. I was definitely going to have to step up my game if I was going to be deserving of her love.

"So…I'm thinking of quitting Tribal School," I said.

Bella's head spun quickly to look at me. She looked surprised and…expectant?

"What? Why?" she sputtered. "You can't just drop out."

She thought I was dropping out? Shit. If that's what she thought of me… "You think I want to drop out?"

"It's too late in the year to transfer to Forks. You'd lose at least a semester if you quit now," she said.

As if I could salvage any of the last semester. The werewolf thing had pretty much destroyed the semester for me. "I've already lost the semester, Bells."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

I really didn't want to say it. I knew I had good reasons, but telling your super-smart girlfriend that you're failing doesn't do much for the old ego. "I just can't do it," I said. "Patrol _and_ spend time with you _and_ keep my grades up. Hell, I can barely find time for a nap, much less a full night's sleep. I'm already failing four of my classes, and the others aren't much better. Something's gotta give."

Bella was staring at me, her mouth moving like she wanted to say something, but no words were coming out. _Please let her understand. Please don't let her think less of me._

She stared at me so long that we nearly ran off the road. I'd been too intent on her reaction to notice, but surprisingly, Bella managed to swerve just enough not to lose control.

"Does Sam know?" she asked. "Maybe he can give you some time off."

"You know I can't do that to the pack. Sam already gives me more time off than anyone else."

"Maybe I can help," she said, sounding really upset. "We can get your grades back up---at least enough that you can pass."

"It's no big deal, Bells," I assured her. Online school was just as much a real diploma as regular high school.

"No big deal?" she asked, uncharacteristic anger flashing across her face. "It's too late to transfer and you can't just drop out! I can help you. Or you can do summer school. Have you talked to your teachers? Maybe they'll let you retake some tests or something. But youare_ not_ quitting! What kind of future are we supposed to have if all you're qualified to do is bag groceries?"

"Relax, Bells," I laughed, realizing at once what was happening. I'd been so caught up in trying to defend my decision to leave Tribal School that I'd forgotten to mention what I was replacing it with.

"This isn't funny, Jake!"

"I'm not dropping out," I told her.

"Damn right you're not," she huffed.

"I'm gonna do that Insight School. Embry's already doing it, and he's gonna graduate early."

"The online one?" she asked.

"Yeah. It's a really good deal, Bells. They give you a computer and everything. And---"

The conversation, the misunderstanding, the nearly running off the road…it had all drawn my attention away from what was going on around us. There was a fiery glow just past the trees, coming from town. And the smell of smoke…why hadn't I noticed it sooner?

"What the hell? Pull over!" I shouted.

The second the truck slowed, I was out the door. I had to phase. I had to tell the pack---or find out if they knew. I didn't want to leave Bella, but I had to get out of sight. If anyone drove by and saw her, they'd think she needed help. If anyone drove up and saw me in wolf form, all hell would break loose.

'_Sam!'_

'_Get her out of here, Jake!'_

Sam was following a police cruiser, and I could only assume it was Charlie. Seth and Leah had abandoned Bella's house and were headed back to my place. Paul was racing like a madman to join everyone in town. Embry and Quil were running, chasing something so quick and agile it could only be one thing: bloodsucker.

'_What's going on?'_

'_Fires. Leeches. Everywhere. Get her to the rez and then get your ass back here!'_

I nearly ripped my shorts as I yanked them on and ran back to the truck. Paul whizzed by just as I reached the driver side door, only to find it locked. Bella was huddled inside, and the second I touched the door, she let out the most terrified scream I'd ever heard. I ripped the door handle off and yanked it open, pulling her to me.

"Shhhh, baby. It's just me," I said, half pulling her out of the seat.

"Jake?" she whimpered against me.

"Scoot over and let me drive, okay?" I said, trying to sound a lot calmer than I was.

Bella nodded and moved over without argument, and I slid into the seat, throwing the old heap of metal in gear and making a quick u-turn half way into the ditch.

"What's going on?" Bella asked. She was terrified.

"I don't know," I said. "There's a bunch of fires, and some bloodsuckers, and I need to get you back to the rez."

"Victoria?" she asked.

I had to think for a minute before I remembered the red-haired leech had a name. "I don't know. There's more than one," I said, regretting my honesty the second I saw the fear in her wide eyes intensify. "Look, you'll be safe at the rez. Seth and Leah will be there in a minute, and they won't let anything near you."

"Seth? Leah?" she asked incredulously.

Well, it was too late to take it back. I'd just kind of assumed she knew. And after tonight it would have been obvious anyway.

"There's a lot of us," I said. I didn't have time to explain it just now. "Just trust me, okay?" I asked as the old truck whined and complained. I ignored its protests and punched the accelerator into the floorboard.

"Okay," she said quietly.

"Bells, it's gonna be okay. We'll protect you. And Embry's with Charlie, too, so don't worry about anything, okay?"

"Will you stay with me?" she asked.

I wanted to. I wanted to more than anything in the world. Even more than I wanted to kill the leeches. But I knew I couldn't. I wasn't sure how many there were, and Sam had demanded I come back, so I knew they needed my help.

"I'm sorry, Bells," I said. "I can't."

She didn't say anything, and I finally looked over to see if I could tell what she was thinking.

"Don't worry about me, honey," I said, trying to calm the fear that was evident in her expression. "This is what I'm made for."

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**_Writer's Challenge: So many of you expressed interest--thank you! I'm still going to send a message to everyone who asked about it, but I also wanted to post the info here for anyone else who is interested. Full details/rules about the challenge are posted at http://community[dot]livejournal[dot]com/twificchallenge/profile. The first challenge has been listed, and all entries must be posted by May 21. After that, each challenge will last one week, but we wanted to give everyone time to check it out, get all set up on LiveJournal (if you're not already), and get started.  
Here are the basics: (1) You need to have a LiveJournal account so you can post your entries. It's free, and it's a great site. (2) Each week, a new quote will be listed on LiveJournal and announced on Twitter, and that should be the inspiration for your fic. Incorporate it into whatever kind of Twilight-based fic you want. (3) Everyone, whether you've written a thousand fics or never written at all, is invited to join. _**

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	43. Waiting: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: WAITING  
(Bella's POV)**

"Just trust me," he'd said.

And surprisingly, I did. Sure, I was terrified. Victoria had come for me. I was sure it was her. But there was something in the way Jacob spoke, the way he seemed so in control, the way he knew exactly what to do that I trusted. I wasn't worried about my safety at all. I was worried about his.

He was so sure of himself. Too sure. Too confident in himself and in the pack. Yes, I'd seen what they were capable of. Well, okay, so I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I'd seen enough to know. They were wolves---and not just _any_ wolves. They were the size of horses, they ran with a speed I'd only seen in vampires, and they had killed Laurent. I'd been fortunate enough not to see that part myself. But I knew they had accomplished what I'd thought was impossible.

And there were so many of them. Sam and Embry and Jared and Jake and Paul. And now Leah and Seth. Was Quil one of them now, too? He had to be. He was enormous, and he was always with them. Why hadn't I figured it out before? How many others were there that I simply hadn't noticed? And how many vampires were they facing?

That's where the real fear came from. If it had been all…how many? Eight? If it had been all eight of them against Victoria, I might not have been so nervous. If five could take down Laurent, surely eight could take down Victoria. But Jake said there were more. She must have formed another coven. Or joined one. So eight werewolves against how many vampires?

I tried to reason with myself, to stay calm. Jake could read me so well, and he knew I was worried. He'd even correctly deduced that I was worried about him. So I couldn't panic. I _wouldn't _panic. Whether I was calm or freaking out, this was happening, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. But I _could _hold myself together for his sake. He had enough on his mind. And so I tried to reason with myself.

The Cullens had been considered a large coven, although they preferred the term family. And there had only been seven of them. So chances were Victoria's new group was smaller. Maybe there were only three of them, like before? That wouldn't be so bad. Eight werewolves could take on three vampires. Couldn't they?

Billy was waiting when we pulled up. He was sitting just outside the door, his chair sitting halfway in the grass, and his eyes scanned the darkness behind us. Billy had never struck me as a weak man, even in a wheelchair, but now…now he looked imposing, intimidating, and almost dangerous. He had a commanding air about him, and for a moment I could almost _see_ the power he wielded in the tribe.

"Bella?" Jake asked.

I hadn't even realized we'd stopped, and now he was holding my door open, waiting for me to climb out. I slid from the seat and grabbed his hand, numbly following as he led me into the house. Billy nodded wordlessly as we passed, but his eyes never left the tree line at the edge of the yard.

"What's happening? Why did he leave? Where are you going?" Rachel sobbed, throwing herself at Jake the second we stepped inside.

He pried her away from him, gripping her wrists and pushing her just far enough away that he could look down at her, and she fell silent.

"Stay with Dad," Jacob said. "Paul and I will be back as soon as we can. Do _not_ leave, no matter what you _think _is happening."

Rachel nodded mutely, sniffling a little, and then walked over to sit down on the sofa. She stared at the floor as I tried to absorb what was happening.

"Bells?"

I looked up at Jacob, trying to hide my fear. It was pointless. He grabbed me into a bone-crushing hug, and I couldn't bring myself to protest. I didn't need to breathe. I just needed to be near him.

"It'll be okay," he whispered in my ear. "Stay with Dad and Rach."

He loosened his grip on me just enough that my lungs could expand again, and I was filled with the heady scent of musk and woods…Jacob's scent. I had a million questions, a million things to say, and only one thing that mattered.

"Come back to me."

"Always."

* * *

I waited, the ticking of the old clock mocking me as the seconds dragged by. He'd kissed me so hard I was sure my lips would be bruised, and then he'd left. He hadn't even been gone a full minute, and I was already losing my mind.

"How big are they?" Rachel asked, mercifully piercing the suffocating silence.

"Huge," I said. "Bigger than bears. More like horses."

"It's a vampire, isn't it?" she asked, her eyes wide with fear and curiosity.

I nodded, wanting to correct her, but knowing that if I told her there were more than one she'd probably freak out. _I _was freaked out. Besides, that would only bring up more questions, and I didn't have the answers.

"They'll be okay, right? I mean, really?"

I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and walked outside.

"Shouldn't be out here," Billy said.

"I'm supposed to stay with you," I replied. "You're out here."

He only grunted and turned his attention back to the woods. I couldn't make out a thing, but I could tell his eyes were following something. He didn't look scared or even worried, so I took my cue from him and held it together. His back eyes moved slowly across the trees and stopped. Then he shook his head almost imperceptibly.

"What's out there?" I asked.

He didn't answer.

"Seth and Leah?"

_That_ got his attention. He spun quickly to look at me.

"What?" I asked. "Jake told me they're here."

"Come on out," he said quietly.

There was a strange rustling, and then something stepped out of the darkness. Seth.

_Screw being calm. _I bolted toward him, stumbling over the uneven gravel and grass. Suddenly I pitched forward, my toe catching on something, and all the breath left my lungs as I collided with the…with Seth? Well, he was just as solid as the ground, but at least I didn't skin my knees.

"Careful there," he said humorlessly, gripping my arms as he pushed me upright again. "Jake'll kill me if anything happens to you."

"Tell me what's happening," I demanded. "You can hear them right? Can you see them too? Is he okay? Is it over yet? Is---"

"Let's go talk to Billy," he said, spinning me back around toward the house.

I had to almost run to keep up with his long strides. Gone was the sweet, funny boy I knew. He was replaced by this strange version of a man, all confidence and control now. He stopped just short of Billy and proceeded to fill him in as I looked on, feeling oddly like a child eavesdropping on the grown-ups.

"Six. They set fires all over town. Probably a diversion. We already got two of them."

"Civilians?" Billy asked.

"Fine so far," Seth replied. "Some minor injuries, but nothing serious. It looks like they hit the businesses, and it's so late…"

"Any sightings?"

"Doesn't look like it. Everyone's distracted by the fires."

"Makes sense," Billy nodded.

"What about Jake?" I interrupted. "And Charlie?"

They both turned to me with surprise, almost like they'd forgotten I was there.

"Jake's good," Seth said, his face lighting up a little and reminding me of the boy I knew was in there somewhere. "Everyone's good. And someone's been on Charlie's tail all night. We thought maybe they'd go after him…you know, to get to you. But it doesn't look like they thought it out that well. "

They'd certainly thought it out well enough to bring back-up. And set fires. And God only knew what else. "So what now?" I asked.

"We wait. I have to get back," he said. "It shouldn't be much longer before---"

An eerie howl split the night and Seth stopped mid-thought, every muscle in his body tensed and alert. In the next second he was gone, practically flying across the yard, phasing in mid-air just as he slipped into the forest. Pieces of his shorts fluttered in the air for a moment before dropping to the ground.

"What was that?" Rachel shrieked, the door slamming into the wall behind it as she darted from the house. "What's wrong?"

Billy shook his head, once again staring into the forest, but this time he reached his hand out to his daughter. She looked at me, distraught, as she clung to her father, and then she crumpled to the ground, her whole body shaking with sobs.

Time stopped as I lowered myself to the ground by her side and put an arm around her. She turned and flung her arms around me, crying into my shoulder as I stared numbly at Billy. He offered me a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

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	44. Waiting: Jacob's POV

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If you think I left you waiting too long, it's probably because you didn't get an alert about the new companion story I posted:  
"Pursuit." Since it goes hand in hand with what's about to happen, I suggest you head on over to my profile and check it out first.  
Oh, and if you want to receive an email the next time I post one of these, put me on your author alerts.**

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****CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: WAITING **  
**(Jacob's POV)**

I had to leave her. All hell was breaking loose in Forks, and I had to leave her.

I watched as she tried to keep it together. She was fiddling with the hem of her shirt, tapping her foot, staring wide-eyed straight ahead while she tried to feign calm. I knew better. Bella was freaking out inside.

I'd tried to say what little I could to console her, to reassure her. I'd told her we'd protect her, but here I was, about to drop her off to be guarded by Queen PMS and her kid brother, while I ran off to fight miles away. It wasn't right. I should have been able to stay with her, to protect her. I knew Leah and Seth could be a lethal combination, but they didn't love her. It's not like they would sit by and let something happen to her, but I still didn't like it. It should have been me. Sam should have left _me_ to protect her.

It was like stepping into hell. The air was heated and thick with smoke. Sirens wailed and cars sped down streets as people milled about, calling out to each other and talking on cell phones. The residents of Forks had never experienced a night like this, and it was up to us to make sure it didn't get worse.

It was almost impossible to sort through the racing thoughts of the pack. Everywhere I focused there were fires, people, running. I zeroed in on Sam, who was near what appeared to have been Newton's Outfitters. From the size of the fire, it looked like it would be just an empty parking lot come morning. He'd cornered a small leech, a strange mix of little girl and monster, and she didn't stand a chance. He was already ripping her apart by the time I reached him, her agonized shrieks drowned out by the roar of the nearby fire and the never-ending sirens.  
_  
'I've got this! Find the leader!'_

It was a planned attack. That was the only explanation for it. Too many vamps, too many fires, too many coincidences. It had to be that red-haired leech that was after Bella. I searched the pack minds, but she was nowhere in sight, so I headed to Bella's house. It was the one place I knew she'd check.

All around me, the chaos raged. I kept to the woods but didn't worry when the trees grew sparse. The collective attention of Forks was focused on people and property. No one even noticed me when I cut through a brightly lit street and sprinted directly into Bella's front yard.

I scanned the yard quickly for any sign of her. The sickeningly sweet smell of leech was thick in the woods behind Bella's house, but it didn't even touch her doorstep. The bloodsucker's trail led in two directions, one much stronger than the other. Her path away from the house. I raced after her, following her scent, my rage growing as it got stronger and I got closer.

I had to detour when I got near the school. Half the town was there, and someone had set up a giant spotlight as two fire trucks aimed their hoses at the rapidly spreading flames. I leaped over a fence and wound my way through the parked buses, anxious not to lose time. Just as I emerged on the other side of the lot, I slammed into something impossibly hard, and my senses were assaulted by the fetid odor of vampire.

He looked lost and confused, and a bit frightened. If it hadn't been for his putrid scent, I might have thought he was just a scared kid. He looked to be about my age, maybe a year or two older, and I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Before he had time to react, I was on him, forcing my teeth into the almost impenetrable flesh of his neck. He let out a strangled grunt, his arms flailing around my torso, just before I tore his head clean off. Disposing of the body was a bit more difficult. I grabbed his leg and drug the body around the side of the school, but there were too many people standing around. I knew better than to try the way I'd come. I finally had to jump from a dumpster, thankfully closed, to the rooftop and fling it into the fire from there. I followed with the head, and then went back to what I was doing---tracking the red-haired one.

Once I was away from the crowded school, I stopped watching for people and cars, not caring if I was spotted, as long as I caught up to her. In what felt like seconds, I was miles away from Bella's house and just beyond the edge of town. My job would be easier here, away from all those who still believed they lived in a normal world. No one would hear the crash of my attack, her screams of pain, the unearthly tearing as I destroyed her.

She had to be close. Her stench burned my nostrils, and I yearned to pull back, to get away from it. Suddenly I picked up the scent of a second leech. It was fainter, as if this one had run ahead of her toward their destination. I searched the minds of the pack again, looking for someone who could help, but they were all too far away or too busy with their own leeches.

Sam was still grappling with the pieces of his kill, fighting the still-animated limbs as he tossed them into the fire engulfing Newton's. Embry's pursuit of Charlie was interrupted by the biggest bloodsucker I'd ever seen, and Jared was only seconds away from joining in the fight. Quil was playing a game of cat and mouse with his catch, letting her almost get away before he ripped off another piece of her as Paul raced from across town to lend a hand. That left me on my own to deal with the trickiest, most elusive bloodsucker we'd come across...and whoever her companion was.

I slowed for a second at the realization---just long enough to see where I was. My heart lurched painfully in my chest as I recognized the path I was on. Straight ahead lay the rez, only a few miles away. Bella, Rachel, and my dad were there, not to mention Sue and Emily...and nearly everyone else I knew. All defenseless, all vulnerable, all alone except for Seth and Leah. And the leeches were on their way.

I couldn't find Seth, so I focused on Leah. She was watching Seth talk to Bella. My Bella. I'd never run so hard or so fast in my life. I could hear the frenzied footsteps of the bloodsucker ahead of me. I glimpsed her fiery hair glinting in the moonlight, and suddenly I didn't care. I didn't want to catch her. I wanted to beat her there, to get ahead of her and take down whoever was in the lead before they could reach my family.

I could hear Sam screaming in my mind, yelling at me to take down the leader, the red-haired one. It was an alpha command, one I had to obey, and it felt like I was being ripped in two as I tried to defy him. She was almost within my reach, her wild eyes landing on me as she spun to identify her pursuer. If she'd been human, she would have been pretty. But there was nothing pretty about the otherworldly glow of her pale skin, the glint of her venomous teeth, the noxious stench that rolled off her stony body as she tried to outrun me.

_'Leah!' _

I felt Leah's attention turn to me at once, and I was answered by a keening howl as she saw in my mind the double threat and our rapid approach. A sharp crackling sound cut through my mind as Seth phased to join his sister, just as the lanky bloodsucker ahead of us closed in on them.

I was filled with their fear, their excitement, their rage as Leah lunged at the leech and Seth rounded him to attack from behind. My internal struggle eased as it became clear they could handle him, and I sprang for the creature in front of me.

She spun quickly, almost faster than my eyes could register, her shrill laughter taunting me as I missed contact. Before I could stop myself, I was ahead of her, and as I turned to face her a sharp pain tore across my back. She leapt, and I dropped to the ground, the air around us whirling as she flew over my head. I sprang at her, jaws snapping, a monstrous snarl ripping through my body, but she was too fast again.

We darted through the trees, branches and saplings crashing around us, rocks crumbling beneath her bare feet as she tried to outrun me. But I knew where we were going, and she made the mistake of looking back. The earth shook as she crashed into a virtual wall of rock, and I snapped blindly in the choking dust that filled the air around us. My jaws closed around stone, and I nearly let go, thinking I'd missed again. That's when I heard her shriek. I snapped my head around, pulling and ripping, and was rewarded with an ear-splitting wail and the sound of granite snapping, rendering in two.

She clawed at my shoulder, trying desperately to obtain whatever part of her I held in my jaws, so I tossed it behind me and lunged for her again. The dust was clearing, only to be replaced by twigs and leaves swirling around our fevered battle. This time I knew what it was when my teeth closed around the leech, but my grip was tenuous, and she managed to slip from my mouth before she turned to flee.

I raced after her, ignoring the anxious minds of the pack who were hurrying to catch up with us. I could focus only on her, the abomination I pursued. She would not get near my Bella.

My pace slowed as I realized she was running haphazardly through the dense forest. She had no plan, no strategy, and no prey in mind. She was simply running for her vile excuse for a "life."

* * *


	45. Homecoming: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE:** **HOMECOMING **  
**(Bella**'**s POV)**

We sat there forever, maybe even longer. Rachel cried and Billy stared, and I just tried to keep breathing. The night was quiet, eerily so. Even the insects had gone silent---not even a flutter of tiny wings could be heard. Aside from the occasional rustling of wet leaves in the mild breeze, the only sounds were of the three of us, sitting, waiting, hoping.

Rachel's sobs had quieted to occasional sniffles. She straightened up a little, pushing back the long black hair that had become stuck to her tear-stained cheeks, but she still clung to me tightly. I did my best to comfort her, but I was just as worried as she was. It felt backwards. She was supposed to be the adult, the one who'd gone off to college and was now planning a future with someone. I was the kid, still in high school, dating someone who'd only recently earned his driver's license. How was it that_ I_ was the one comforting _her_?

"They'll be okay, right?" she asked quietly, her dark eyes wide with fear as she looked to her father for reassurance. Her tone was as lost and desperate as I felt.

Billy didn't even seem to hear her, so I answered, "Yeah. Jake says this is what they're made for." It was what he'd told me, and though it hadn't done anything to calm my nerves, maybe it would do something for hers.

"But he's just a kid," she cried. "They all are."

"I know, but they're ready. They've done it before."

"What?" she asked, a look of shock on her face.

And now I was shocked. She didn't know? I'd assumed Paul had told her everything. Or that people who were at least close to the pack were aware. It seemed strange that Paul and Rachel were so serious, and yet she knew very little about them. I had understood why they'd been reluctant to tell me anything. After all, I was known for having a relationship with the only vampire family in town, but it was definitely a surprise to learn that I knew more than Rachel did. "There was one here before, and they...well, they took care of it," I told her.

She didn't say anything for a moment. It looked like she was just trying to digest everything, and I could certainly understand that. I was sure it was all just as strange and unbelievable to her as it had been to me.

"I don't think I can stand waiting here. What if something happens?" she asked.

She was verbalizing everything I was feeling, and despite my words to the contrary, I felt no confidence. I had faith in Jake, faith in the pack. But faith did little to override my fear.

"There's so many of them. Victoria doesn't stand a chance," I assured her, wishing I believed my own words.

"Victoria?" she asked in confusion.

"The...ah...vampire."

"You _know _her?" she asked, pulling back to look at me with wide eyes.

"I sort of met her once...," I admitted, "When I was with the Cullens." I wasn't sure just much I should explain to her. Everyone I'd met on the reservation usually reacted badly whenever I brought up the Cullens.

"So why is she here _now_?" she asked. "They left. What does she want?"

"Me," I choked out.

"Jake won't let that happen. You're one of us now," Rachel said, hugging me close again. So I held her to me, maybe because I needed to cling to someone a little, too, and we waited some more.

* * *

"Soon," Billy's said softly, nodding into the distance. I whipped my head up, scanning the darkness for a sign of something, anything to tell me that everything would be okay, but all I saw was night. I turned back to Billy and watched his eyes. They were moving slowly, following something again, but his face was expressionless. I wondered what he was seeing, _how_ he was seeing anything at all. Was it a Quileute thing? A wolf thing?

I knew Billy wasn't one of the wolves, but maybe he would have been if vampires had shown up during his time. Was there some strange werewolf gene that enhanced his hearing or his vision just enough that he knew what in those woods while his daughter and I struggled to keep our sanity? Or was it the fact that he was Quileute? Everyone always said Native Americans noticed more, saw more, heard more. They paid attention to the things that the rest of us never bothered to see, almost like they had a sixth sense. But that was probably just rumor or legend. Then again, I'd always thought werewolves and vampires were simply legends. My internal musings were cut short by a strange rumbling noise.

It was far off, a low whisper in the distance, but it was growing closer. Within seconds branches were snapping, something was pounding into the ground without rhythm, and then I just begin to make out what I was hearing. Panting.

My heart caught in my throat as I watched the enormous figures emerge from the woods, a black one and a russet one in the lead. Sam and Jake. Others followed, but the sight of them barely registered with me. I was too busy shoving Rachel out of my way and running to get to Jacob.

Any other time I might have considered my actions. A pack of unnaturally large wolves was thundering straight toward me, and my first instinct was to run _to_ them. That couldn't be sane. What if they were different when they were in this form? What if they didn't realize it was me? Would Jake even know me? But before the doubts were complete in my head, I was pressed up against an enormous russet figure, my face buried in the shaggy fur of his shoulder.

He smelled of musk and woods and…dog? I supposed that made sense. And I didn't care. He was back. He was still in one piece as far as I could tell. He was safe.

Something cold and wet nudged my shoulder, startling me, and I flinched back a little. I suddenly felt self-conscious, and I looked around to see we were being watched. A couple of the guys had already phased back and were standing there in their trademark shorts. They were eying me curiously, no doubt expecting me to faint or something. The others, those still in wolf form, were also watching, though I couldn't really make out their…expressions? Billy hadn't moved from his place at the doorway, and he was leaning forward, watching me intently. Rachel, on the other hand, was standing behind Billy, a look of combined horror and awe on her face. I wondered if I'd looked that way when I'd first seen the pack in the meadow that day. It was then that I ventured a look up at Jacob.

"Jake?" I asked, hesitantly.

He cocked his head to the side, his tongue rolling out of his mouth as he lowered his body first to a sitting position, and then to lie down in front of me. I slowly reached one hand out, brushing my fingers across his muzzle as he stared at me.

His posture was non-threatening, almost submissive. He didn't move as I searched his face for some sign of recognition. But I couldn't tell. Maybe he just knew I wasn't a vampire, maybe that's why he wasn't snarling or snapping or growling. It's not like he was wagging his tail or anything. But then I looked into his eyes. They were Jacob's eyes, _my _Jacob_._ His eyes were narrower, larger…but he was in there. I could see it.

I looked around us again. One…two…there were only seven of them.

"Leah?" I asked, unable to keep my voice from trembling.

"She's getting dressed," Jared said, nodding his head back toward the woods.

"Oh. _Oh._" I'd forgotten about that part. They couldn't very well phase back with me just standing there. Well, maybe they _could_, but that would just be...awkward. "So go get dressed," I said, pushing against Jacob's chest.

He snorted, quickly rose up to full height, and then immediately dropped to his side, rolling completely over before he sprung back to his feet and trotted back to the forest. It was impossible not to laugh at him. Yes, my boyfriend was a gigantic werewolf, capable of shredding almost indestructible vampires. And he was rolling around on the ground like a mutant puppy.

Everyone was still staring at me, and I supposed they had every right to. I did look a little crazy. So I did the only thing I could think of. I marched right back over to the house and grabbed Rachel by the arm, pulling her inside with me.

* * *

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	46. Homecoming: Jacob's POV

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: HOMECOMING  
(Jacob's POV)  
**  
I lost her when we hit the water. I was a powerful swimmer, but she was quicker. And when I got too close, she made an impossible turn, throwing her stone-like body back on top of me and pulling us both down beneath the choppy waves.

I fought to hold her, but her skin was like wet marble, slipping from my teeth and leaving me with the taste of spoiled brine in my mouth. It was only when my lungs screamed out for oxygen that I realized my mistake. The leech didn't need to breathe. She could stay here, completely submerged, for years if she wanted. I, on the other hand, was rapidly losing strength as I labored to surface. My lungs were burning, my chest tightening, as my panicked body begged for air. I could no longer hear the pack, although I knew they were close. My mind could only focus on one thing: Bella. The threat to her was gone, and I had to get back to her. I had promised.

I threw all my weight behind one last strike, pitching her to the side and closing my teeth against the unyielding flesh of her back. It was not an attempt to destroy her, or even to damage her. I had no thought except to escape her. The seconds stretched on for a lifetime as she thrashed and struggled to break free. And then, in an instant, she was gone, the cold sea blanketing her in darkness as I kicked upward, straining for air.

Suddenly I was breathing, my lungs frantically gulping in oxygen as I paddled to stay afloat. The night was strangely silent, no sound except for the lapping water and the occasional cry of the wind. I phased at will, trusting my human body to carry me quickly to shore, and I glanced one last time over my shoulder. There was no sign of the leech.

As soon as my feet touched sand I phased back. Sam and Quil were standing on the shoreline, their gazes intent on the water as small waves lapped at their feet. Jared and Paul hung back toward the forest, while Embry trotted up triumphantly carrying in his mouth the arm of the creature that had nearly done me in.

_''Thought you might want this.'_ He dropped the still-moving limb at my feet. It was a sad trophy of my failure.

_'No'_ said Sam, reading my thoughts. _'She's not dead, but she's defeated. Alone, injured…I doubt she's an immediate threat.'_

_'She'll be back,'_ I said.

_''We'll be ready.''_

I grabbed the arm and ran toward town, the rest of the pack on my heels. It would be easier to dispose of it in one of the many fires, and the acrid stench of burning vampire would be lost among the plumes of smoke that rose throughout Forks. The last thing we wanted to do was start a fire here and attract the attention of the overly-vigilant officials in town.

* * *

Leah joined us when we were only a mile from home. She'd had the same idea about the fires in Forks, and she and Seth were taking turns running large pieces of their leech into town to be burned. I'd underestimated them. Even when they knew the danger was over, they had not left Bella unprotected. Leah was immediately annoyed at my observation, so I turned my attention to Seth. Through his eyes, I could see my family, worry etched on their faces, and I increased my pace.

Bella was safe. It was the only thing that mattered. But even though I knew she was okay, I needed to see her with my own eyes, feel her in my arms, and hear her voice. Sam tried to lead the way, but I couldn't be slowed, and the best he could do was run alongside me. The rest of the pack followed, none of us taking care to hush our footfalls or silence our approach. In my haste I forgot I was still in wolf form, but I was shocked back into reality when I saw my sister standing slack-jawed beside Dad.

Bella, on the other hand, surprised me…and filled me with pride. Her eyes fell on me instantly, and she tore across the yard toward me, paying no mind to the wolves that surrounded her. I hadn't expected her to run away screaming or anything, but I certainly didn't expect this. I stopped short, not sure if my size or form would frighten her, but she stumbled right into me and held on.

I could smell the salt of her tears as she pressed her face into my fur, and had I not been concerned with a lack of clothing, I would have phased right then and there just so I could wrap my arms around her. As it was, I held still, waiting out her reaction.

Jared and Seth stepped out of the trees behind us, having forethought enough to get dressed. Leah lingered behind, waiting till the coast was clear before she phased and dressed. Fortunately for her, the rest of the pack was preoccupied with the strange sight before them.

'_You okay with this, Jake?'' _Sam asked. We normally didn't interact with anyone outside the pack when we were phased, and I knew what he was really asking. I'd just come out of a fight, and while I was no Paul, I wasn't known for keeping my cool. But it didn't matter how worked up I was. I would never do anything to hurt Bella.

_'Dude, that's kinda weird.'_

_''Huh...she's cool with it.' _

_'Why's Rachel looking at me like that?'_

The thoughts of the pack swarmed through my head. No one had ever approached us like this. Even the few elders who had seen us phased kept their distance, more out of respect than fear, but the effect was the same. We weren't used to this, to contact with others when we were in our wolf forms, and it seemed everyone was surprised and a bit fascinated. When Bella had been still for too long, I nudged her gently with my snout. She flinched, and my heart plummeted. She was afraid of me after all.

I stayed as motionless as I could so I wouldn't startle her as she took in her surroundings. Only she didn't look frightened. She just looked...curious. Her eyes darted back to the house where Dad waited while Rachel stood dumbfounded. Once again, my heart filled with pride as I noted the differences between the girl who pretended to be strong and the girl who actually was.

Bella's gaze returned to me, and she looked up at me, searching my eyes.

"Jake?" she ventured.

It understood that she didn't really know me in this form. She'd seen me as a wolf only twice, and both times I had left before she really had a chance to process any of it. In fact, the first time she'd been terrified, and the second time she'd looked like she was going to be sick…well, at least that's what it looked like when they guys remembered it later. So I lowered myself gradually, finally lying at her feet, although my shoulders still nearly reached hers. Her hand rose slowly as she lifted it to my face and her fingers brushed lightly across my fur.

I remained still as she continued to study me, her fingers absently stroking my face. She looked around again, and I watched, puzzled, as a pained look crossed her features.

"Leah?" she asked, and I mentally cursed my inability to speak.

"She's getting dressed," Jared replied for me.

"Oh," she said, relief and understanding filling her expression. "_Oh!..._So go get dressed," she demanded, pushing me.

If I could have, I would have laughed. Her reaction was just so...Bella. Instead, a weird snort came out, and I sprang up then dropped to my side and rolled over. I heard her laughing as I loped over to the woods to phase.

* * *


	47. Union: Bella's POV

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: UNION  
(Bella's POV)**

This time the wait wasn't so bad---if you didn't count Rachel's impatience. But at least she wasn't crying anymore. She nervously flipped through the channels on the TV, never staying on a station long enough for me to even figure out what we were watching. It's not like I could have concentrated on a TV show, but it would have been nice if she could have just picked something. Twice she stopped just long enough to get up and peek through the blinds, sighing in frustration.

"What is so important that they have to talk about it out there?" she whined, flopping down on the chair again.

"I'm sure it's just pack stuff," I told her. "And personally, I've had about enough of it for one night." The truth was that I was dying to know what had happened, what was going to happen now. But just knowing Jacob---and everyone else I cared about---was safe was enough to tide me over for a few more minutes.

"But I---" she started to complain again.

Her next round of whining was cut off as the door opened. Billy wheeled in, followed by Sam, Jacob, and Paul.

Billy looked tired and as if he'd aged several years. The lines around his eyes were more pronounced, deeper. It was as if he was now wearing all the worry he hadn't allowed himself to express earlier, and it made me wonder how Charlie was handling things in Forks. I knew better than to call him, though. There was no way he'd be anywhere near a phone.

Sam and Paul were shirtless, as usual, and while Paul didn't seem at all changed, Sam looked even more serious than ever. I wouldn't have thought that was possible.

Jacob…well, there was something about him I couldn't put my finger on. I supposed he felt like I did. Upset, relieved, emotionally exhausted. I knew he had conflicting feelings about who and what he was, and I supposed tonight had only served to exacerbate that. Oddly enough, he was wearing a shirt, even though he hadn't bothered to button it up.

Rachel immediately leapt over the side of the chair with a sense of balance I could only dream about, jumping into the arms of a startled Paul.

"Okay, clingy," he teased. "I was only gone a couple hours."

Rachel responded by punching him in the chest, a move that was immediately followed by a yelp as she clutched her certainly injured hand. Jake laughed and threw an arm around me, pulling me down onto the sofa with him.

"Miss me?" he asked.

I didn't need to answer. I just curled up into his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heartbeat as everyone else settled in. Billy moved to sit across from us, blocking the TV that no one was watching. Sam remained standing, towering over everyone and looking every bit the alpha that he was. Paul sat down in the chair as Rachel perched on the arm beside him. She kept running her hands over his shoulders, down his arms, like she was afraid that if she wasn't touching him he'd disappear. I knew the feeling, and I curled in closer to Jacob.

"We don't usually discuss this with outsiders," Sam started, looking directly at me.

I felt Jacob tense beneath me, a low snarl erupting from him at Sam's implication.

"Now, Jake---" Sam began.

"But she's one of us now!" Rachel interrupted.

All eyes turned to stare at Rachel. Billy was expressionless, as usual, and Sam looked shocked. I probably did, too. I mean, she'd said the same thing to me outside, but I'd written it off as hysteria.

"No, it's okay," I insisted. "I understand." I was just grateful that someone besides Jake had spoken up for me.

"It's not okay," Jacob said quietly, menacingly.

Sam took a step toward Jake, challenging him to speak again when Billy spoke up.

"She is one of us," Billy said in a quiet yet commanding tone.

Sam stopped short, looked over his shoulder at Billy, and then backed down.

"We didn't get her. She got away," Sam said, looking directly at me again.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't know what to say. She got away. Victoria was still out there somewhere, maybe planning her next attack.

"How?" I finally asked.

"She was crazy fast," Paul volunteered. "But Jake got a piece of her."

I spun to look at up at Jake. "A _piece_?" I asked.

"Her arm," he explained. "We burned it."

"Oh." Well, this wasn't exactly how I'd seen the conversation going. I'd thought we'd sit down, they'd tell me Victoria was dead, and our lives could continue as if nothing had ever happened. Instead, a now armless, probably very pissed off vampire was still after me.

"So what happened?" I asked. "The short version," I quickly added.

Sam spoke first. "There were six of them. We think they set the fires, but we haven't had a chance to verify that."

"Charlie's men are all over the place," Jacob explained. "We can't check for scents until they go home."

"Yeah, if they haven't all been washed away by then," Paul complained.

"And the others?" I asked.

"They seemed disorganized, all over the place. Jared and Embry got one near the school. I found one behind Newton's, and Quil took down another by the Baptist church. The fires led us right to them, and they also came in handy for…ah…disposal."

"Yeah, and Jake ripped that blond one apart!" Paul said excitedly. From his tone, you'd think he was bragging about hitting a home run or something.

I couldn't help but shiver at the thought. I should have felt happy about it, but I couldn't. I was torn between the nightmare of what had happened with James and the fear of it ever happening to one of the vampires I loved, even if they didn't love me anymore. That, and my boyfriend had just killed someone.

"So another one got away, too?" I asked, tallying the numbers in my head and coming up one short.

"No, Seth and Leah got the last one," Sam said proudly.

"What…how…but they were right _here!_" I argued. If Seth and Leah…well, that could only mean one thing. One of Victoria's new coven had gotten too close.

"I told you they'd protect you," Jake said, squeezing me closer.

I wanted to ask more, but my head was already spinning. I looked over at Rachel, but she was no help. Her eyes were darting around the room, her mouth gaping. Clearly she was as stunned by the night's events as I was.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the phone rang. No one moved to answer it, so I got up and walked to the kitchen. I looked back at Jake, and he just nodded before he started talking to Sam again.

"Ah…Black residence?" I said uncertainly. I felt pretty at home at Jake's, but answering the phone was just out of my comfort zone.

"_Bells?" _Charlie asked.

"Hey, Dad," I said in a relieved sigh.

"_Oh, thank God you're still there. Listen, we took a bunch of arson hits in town tonight. I think it'd be best if you stayed in La Push. It's been quiet for a little while, but we've got our hands full, and I'd feel better knowing you aren't in the line of…well, fire if they strike again."_

"Is everyone okay?" I asked. It was the question I really needed answered, and I knew Sam and the pack had been too focused on chasing vampires to know about the rest of the town.

"_Looks like it. They didn't target any homes, just the businesses. Newton's got it pretty bad. They also hit the power company, one of the churches, and three restaurants. Looks like they tried to get the school too, but sprinkler system kicked in and the only real damage was outside. _ _Anyway, I gotta get over to the church now. You'll be okay there tonight?"_

"Sure. I'll call Emily," I said.

"_No, stay where you are. Emily's a nice girl, but…Billy can look out for you."_

Charlie was more upset than he'd let on. That was the only explanation for his insisting that I stay at the house of his most trusted friend. Apparently the fact that Jacob was here had slipped his mind.

"_And Bells? I'm trusting you,"_ he added.

I guess it didn't slip his mind after all. "I know, Dad," I replied. "Be safe."

"_Lemme talk to Billy."_

I stretched the long cord over the counter and handed the phone off to Billy, and then returned to my spot on the sofa with Jake.

"You okay?" Jake asked.

"Yeah," I said. "It's just a lot to take in."

"You're handling it really well," he said, motioning toward his sister.

Rachel was in tears again, and Paul looked completely lost. I got the feeling he wasn't the best when it came to comforting crying women.

"Bella, you'll stay here tonight," Billy announced. "I'm off to bed."

Clearly he didn't share Charlie's concerns.

* * *


	48. Union: Jacob's POV

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: UNION  
(Jacob's POV)**

Sam wanted to talk to us before we all took off. It was actually the first time he'd done this---we usually just all went off on our own if we wanted. But then again, it was the first time any of us had been through something like tonight. Before tonight, we'd only come across one bloodsucker…well, at least since I'd been with the pack. Seth, Leah, and Quil had even less experience. And six of them at once was something none of us had expected.

"No patrols tonight," he said.

"But---" I began to protest. There was still one leech out there, the one that wanted Bella.

"No buts," he interrupted. "We've had a long night, and we all need rest. Paul, you'll stay at Jake's tonight, right?"

Embry chuckled and Paul shot him a warning look.

"I'll be staying at _Rachel's _tonight," he corrected him.

Sam nodded. "That should be enough. Besides, if she comes back at all, it won't be tonight."

He was right, and everyone else seemed to agree. Still, it wasn't how I would have done things if I was alpha.

Engine noise caught our attention, and we quieted for a moment as headlights lit the yard. Emily threw the truck in park and stepped out quickly, walking straight to Sam and looking him over for injuries.

"I'm fine," he insisted as she turned him around in a circle.

"Then you won't mind if I see for myself," she replied. Satisfied that Sam didn't need any first aid, she turned to the rest of us. "Anyone hurt?" she asked.

"Nothing we can't handle," Quil said.

She made the rounds anyway, inspecting each of us for damage.

Embry winced when she touched his shoulder, and despite his protests, she insisted on putting his arm in a sling. His leech had dislocated his shoulder, and though it had easily popped back into place and was getting better by the second, we all knew the only way Emily would feel better was if we let her play mom.

Quil and Leah passed her inspection, but Seth had to endure some kind of spray and some gauze pads to cover scratches that would probably be healed in the next hour anyway.

I tried to avoid her ministrations, but it was useless. I heard the gasp the second she got a look at my back, and I was only glad she hadn't seen it thirty minutes ago. She got me with the spray, too, and it burned like hell, but I refused to let her cover my back in bandages. On the bright side, she got all the dried blood off me, and she dug one of Sam's shirts out of the truck.

"So Bella doesn't see," she said, holding it up for me to put on.

The conversation turned to bragging and teasing, then, with most of the focus on Paul, the only one of the pack who didn't get in a kill. The guys were egging me on, hoping I'd chime in since I was the only one who took on two leeches, even if I hadn't managed to take them both out. But I wasn't having any of it. I just wanted to go inside and see the one person who made all this worth it.

* * *

Rachel was having a high-pitched fit when we walked in, and the second she saw Paul, she hurled herself at him. Bella smiled at their banter and then turned to me. She looked exhausted but happy. We'd already kind of had our reunion outside, but I still needed to be near her.

I plopped down on the sofa, pulling her with me. "Miss me?" I asked.

She curled up against me and I wrapped my arms around her. Dad and Sam looked like they were ready for yet another mini-meeting, but I shook my head at Sam, silently letting him know it would have to wait a few minutes. As strong as she was, Bella had been through a lot tonight.

When Bella finally lifted her head to look around the room, Paul and Rachel took a seat, and Sam spoke.

"We don't usually discuss this with outsiders," Sam said, his gaze focused on Bella.

If she hadn't been right next to me, I'm not sure I could have stopped myself from phasing and attacking him right then and there. And Sam knew it.

"Now, Jake---" Sam started in a pointless attempt to calm me.

"But she's one of us now!"

Rachel? Every head in the room whipped around to stare at her. Where the hell did that come from? Not that I minded...

"No, it's okay. I understand," Bella said. She was always so accepting, never insisting upon what she deserved.

"It's not okay," I said, more to Sam than to Bella.

Accepting the challenge, Sam started toward me, and I made ready to push Bella from my side. He knew I wouldn't hesitate to fight him over this.

"She is one of us."

Whether Dad meant it or just wanted to diffuse the situation, I couldn't be sure. Whatever his reason, Sam listened.

"We didn't get her. She got away," he said simply, backing down and again looking directly at Bella

Bella was turned away from me, so I couldn't see her expression, but I could imagine. And based on the guilty look on Sam's face, it wasn't good. _Way to soften the blow._

"How?" she asked softly.

"She was crazy fast, but Jake got a piece of her," Paul said proudly. While it was certainly true, I didn't think Bella would be nearly as excited about that as he was.

"A _piece_?" she asked, turning to me.

"Her arm. We burned it." It wasn't really a detail I wanted to share with her, but there was really no way to pretty it up.

"Oh," was her only response. She was quiet for a moment, and we all waited. Then she asked, "So what happened?" she asked. "The short version."

We spent the next few minutes giving Bella the condensed version of everything that had gone down. Thankfully, no one volunteered any more gory details, and Bella seemed most concerned with the fact that the leech was still out there. In a way, I was relieved. But mostly I just felt guilty.

It's a strange situation we were in. We all sat there calmly discussing the fact that we'd spent the evening on a kind of killing spree, and Bella just seemed to quietly accept it, compounding my guilt. It was my fault the leech wasn't dead. If I'd been faster or stronger, if I'd been smarter about letting her get to the water, if I'd just done _something_ different, maybe Bella would feel safe. Instead, I'd let her would-be killer get away.

I didn't feel too good about what I_ had_ accomplished either. I didn't want to be a killer, even if it was for the greater good. Sure, I was proud of my heritage and of my responsibility to protect the tribe and the community, and I always tried to focus on that fact. But even though I knew I was only destroying murderous monsters, it didn't make me feel like any less of one myself.

To make matters worse, Sam let on that one of the leeches had gotten close. It's not that I _wanted_ to keep things from Bella, but I also didn't want to scare her---any worse that tonight already had. She was strong, stronger than I would have expected, but I was sure she was close to the limit.

"I told you they'd protect you," I said, pulling her just a little closer.

As if on cue, the phone rang, and no one moved to answer it. I'm sure Dad thought whoever it was could wait. Pack business always came first. Rachel was too busy fawning over Paul, and I wasn't about to move from Bella's side. To my surprise, Bella got up to answer it. She looked back at me, as if asking permission, and I nodded. I was actually a bit relieved that she was walking away from the conversation.

As soon as we realized she was talking to Charlie, we began talking in hushed whispers. Sam didn't really want to give Bella any more details, but he thought she might be able to give us more insight. Dad thought she deserved to know as well. Paul didn't care one way or the other.

"Don't you think she's been through enough?" I asked.

"More than enough," Sam agreed, "but I thought you wanted her to know."

"Well, yeah, but maybe not in so much detail?"

"Look, Jake," Sam said, "If it was up to me, none of the girls would know about any of this, but Bella's _the_ _target_. If she's going to know anything, it might as well be everything."

"Sam's right," Dad said. "Besides, Bella's the one who gave us information when we needed it. And there's only so much you can protect her from. Focus on the real danger here."

Before I could argue, Bella walked back in carrying the phone.

"Billy? Charlie wants to talk to you."

"You okay?" I asked as she sat back down beside me.

"Yeah. It's just a lot to take in."

I searched her face for some sign of what she was feeling. She definitely looked overwhelmed, but she didn't look like she was going to fall apart or anything...unlike my sister, who was crying again.

"You're handling it really well," I said.

Dad handed the phone to Sam, who walked over and hung it up for him.

"Bella, you'll stay here tonight," he said. "I'm off to bed."

* * *

**YOUTUBE: **Someone suggested I make a trailer for this story to put on YouTube. While I love the idea, I am an idiot when it comes to technology & the modern world. Seriously. My ex-husband had to come over and teach me how to use the remote for my new TV. So I thought I'd check with y'all. Any brilliant YouTube junkies out there who would be willing to do that?

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	49. Unrest: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE:**** UNREST **  
**(Bella's POV)**

I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't what I got. When Billy announced I was staying the night, Jake did nothing. It's not that I wanted him to get carried away or anything, but I thought he'd be happy about it, maybe make one of his smart-ass remarks or something. But he didn't react at all.

"I have to get back to Emily," Sam said. "Jake, can I talk to you for a sec?"

I moved so Jake could get up, and I sat there for a second, watching as he followed Sam outside. I was a little uncomfortable sitting there trying not to notice Paul and Rachel, so I got up and walked toward Jake's room. Suddenly, Paul started laughing, and I turned to see what was so funny. He just shook his head at me and tried to compose himself.

Once inside Jake's room, I wasn't sure what to do. Was I sleeping in here? On the sofa? Wherever I was supposed to sleep, I needed something to wear. I assumed Jake would be okay with me borrowing one of his shirts---it's not like he ever wore them anyhow. So I tugged on the closet door to see what my options were. It seemed that his closet was less for clothes storage and more for hiding junk. Everything from trophies to a half-deflated basketball to several boxes were stacked up inside. Even if he'd wanted to hang clothes in it, there wouldn't have been room. I shut the closet and looked around. I really didn't want to go digging through his dresser, so I was relieved when I saw a laundry basket filled with folded clothes over by the bed. I plucked a t-shirt off the top and held it up to me. It would probably cover me down to my knees, but I didn't want it. It smelled like detergent, not Jacob. I looked around at the clothing scattered across the floor and thrown over the back of his desk chair. Then again, digging through his dirty clothes would have been weird. So I settled on the clean shirt I was holding.

I heard the front door fly open and slam against the wall, so I walked back into the living room, still clutching Jacob's shirt. Anger was etched across his face, and he barely looked at me.

"I'll sleep on the sofa," he mumbled in my general direction. "Get out," he said to Paul and Rachel.

They wasted no time getting up and going to Rachel's room. I stood there for a few seconds after they closed the door behind them. Jake lay down on the sofa, his feet draped over the edge, and closed his eyes.

"Turn off the light for me?" he asked.

"Sure."

I couldn't sleep. I knew I shouldn't be staring at the clock, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the little red numbers. It had been forty three minutes, and Jake still hadn't come in.

I tried telling myself he was trying to be respectful, but I knew that wasn't it. Jake and I had slept in the same bed before and nothing had happened. Why couldn't we do that again? _Maybe it's because Billy's here,_ I thought. No, that wasn't it. Billy hadn't seemed fazed at all by my being here overnight. He hadn't even glanced sideways at Paul, and I had the feeling he knew exactly where Paul was sleeping. Clearly he didn't have any problems with the sleeping arrangements. So what was Jake's problem?

I tossed and turned for a few more minutes, but Jacob's scent on his pillow taunted me. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep without knowing what was going on. I tossed back the covers and felt my way over to the door.

Only a faint light misted through the windows, and I could barely make out the sofa across the room. The house was completely silent. I shuffled slowly across the room, still arguing with myself about what I should say.

"Ouch!" My shin slammed into what was probably the coffee table and I pitched forward, barely catching myself before I went sprawling.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked.

"What are _you_ doing?" I countered, stepping around the offending table and easing onto the edge of the sofa cushion beside him.

"Sleeping."

_Must be nice._ "I can't sleep," I told him, hoping he'd just take the hint. He didn't.

"Nightmares?" he asked.

"Not exactly."

"Too much excitement tonight?"

This guessing game was going to take forever. "Probably. But...did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"Nope."

His nonchalant response only served to irritate me further. "If you're going to ignore me, you can at least tell me what I did to deserve it."

"I'm not ignoring you," he replied.

"Oh, sure," I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. "I'm sleeping in your room and you're on the sofa and you didn't even kiss me goodnight and you're not trying to come in there." Okay, so that didn't come out exactly the way I wanted it to, but at least I said it.

"Do you _want_ me to come in there?" he asked, sitting up a little.

I could barely make out his face in the darkness, but I couldn't make out his expression. "No…yes…I don't know," I said. "Paul's in your sister's room." Then again, maybe Paul and Rachel weren't the best argument.

"Yeah, and we both know what they're doing," he said quietly.

I felt his warm hand close over mine and hoped he couldn't see me blushing. "Is that it?" I asked. "Are you mad because we're not…you know…_sleeping_ together?" It hadn't occurred to me that we might be having _that_ problem, but it was as likely a possibility as any.

"No!" he exclaimed too loudly. "What the hell, Bella?" he asked angrily. "_That's_ what you think?"

I was instantly relieved…and confused. "Well, what am I supposed to think?"

"You should think…no, you should _know_…that they all think I'm gonna be in there with you."

"They?" I asked.

"Paul and Rach, my dad, the pack…"

I felt myself blushing again. Billy just assumed Jake and I would be sleeping in the same room. I really hoped he didn't assume we were just like Paul and Rachel. But either way, Billy was okay with it. "Then what's the problem?" I asked.

Jacob sighed. "Sam asked me if I needed _protection_," he said.

"Oh." Well, that was a development I hadn't been prepared for.

"I don't want them thinking that," he said. "And I just thought it would be better if I stayed out here. Paul's gonna know if I go in there. And he can't keep his fu---sorry! ---his mouth shut. Everybody would just assume…" he trailed off.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" I asked.

"C'mon, Bells. You get so embarrassed by _everything._"

"Well, yeah, but I'd rather be embarrassed than have you being all distant and weird toward me."

"I know," he sighed. "I was just mad—not at you, though," he quickly added. "At Sam for thinking…well…and at Paul for laughing about it."

"_That's_ why Paul was laughing? How'd he know?"

"We hear a lot, Bells," he sighed.

Oh yeah. Super wolf hearing.

"Do you think he can hear us now?"

"He _can, _but he's…distracted ."

"Wow," I said. "You guys really don't have any privacy, do you?"

I thought I saw him nod in the darkness.

"You could stay out here, you know. With me," he offered.

"Wouldn't that look just as bad?" I asked.

"Not really," he said as he pulled me against his chest and lay back down. "Of course, you'd have to be _really_ close."

I smiled to myself. "I think I can handle that."

* * *


	50. Unrest: Jacob's POV

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: **** UNREST**  
**(Jacob's POV)**

I wanted to jump up and down like a kid at Christmas, just maybe not with so many witnesses. I'd planned on somehow staying with Bella, but I'd assumed it would mean I was sleeping in the woods just behind her house. It's not like I was going to leave her completely alone after everything that had just happened. This was more than I could have hoped for. Not only did it mean I could make sure she was safe, but I'd also have her right beside me. Dad was heading straight for bed, which meant he wasn't going to put his foot down about where she slept.

"I have to get back to Emily," Sam said. "Jake, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Bella moved over and I got up, following Sam out the back door.

"What's up?" I asked.

Sam shifted his weight to his other foot and stared at the ground for a few seconds. I was trying to come up with a crack to make when he muttered something about wanting to kill my dad. I knew he wasn't serious, but what the hell? Before I could ask, he spoke up.

"I don't think this is such a good idea," he said.

_Huh? _My confusion must have been obvious.

"Maybe you should sleep on the sofa," he explained.

"And why would I do that?" I asked. I suddenly knew _exactly _what he was getting at, and I didn't like it.

"Because...well...Bella might be more...comfortable...you know, sleeping alone."

"Bella will be just fine sleeping with me," I insisted. Surely Sam would believe me. I mean, I'd proven it before, hadn't I?

"Look, Jake, she's had a pretty...um...emotional night. This might not be the right time to---"

"Exactly. She's scared and I'm keeping her with me. That's all you need to know." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What happened between me and Bella was our business---no one else's. If I needed advice, I'd ask for it. And for him to think I was standing here planning on taking advantage of her...emotional state or whatever...well, if I thought I could have kicked his ass and gotten away with it, I would have.

"Fine," he said.

Good. He was finally getting the message.

"Just don't be stupid. If you need protection..." he trailed off with a questioning look.

"What the...Why?" I didn't even know what to say, and now I could hear Paul's laughter from inside. "Go to hell!"

I turned and went back inside, slamming the door behind me.

* * *

The only thing worse than Sam's assumption was knowing how Bella would react. If we both slept in my room, even if all we did was sleep, everyone would assume the same thing. The guys would probably give me a hard time, not caring whether Bella overheard or not, and she would be mortified. This really was the last thing I needed.

It's not that I _wanted _to just lie there and hold her all night. Well, actually, I did want to do that, but there were plenty of other things I wanted to do as well. Even so, I had the feeling Bella would just shut me down if I tried. And really, it only made sense. She was a good girl, and being with me for all of one week probably didn't fit her idea of "long enough." To be honest, I was okay with that. It was frustrating, to say the least, but I loved her. I loved everything about her, including the fact that she wasn't one of _those _girls.

The real problem was her tendency to throw fits. Granted, she hadn't done that since we _really_ got together, but she wasn't exactly a pro at keeping her emotional outbursts in check. Add in the embarrassment she'd feel about what everyone would _think_ was going on, and she'd probably go off like a nuclear bomb. Great. What was supposed to be the perfect ending to a terrible night had circled back and turned just plain shitty.

I hadn't been inside for three seconds before Bella came out of my room. And she was holding one of my t-shirts. I bit back a groan and inwardly cursed fate or karma or whatever the hell had decided I needed to be tortured just a little more. The second I saw her standing there, I was assaulted by the vision of her in just that t-shirt. It was almost as good as the memory of her in the last shirt of mine she'd worn.

"I'll sleep on the sofa," I said.

Paul shot me a questioning look.

"Get out," I snapped at him.

I lay back on the sofa and closed my eyes. I could feel Bella looking at me. What was I supposed to tell her? _Hey, if we stay in the same room, everyone's gonna think we're screwing. _Nope, I definitely wasn't saying that.

"Turn off the light for me?" I asked.

"Sure."

* * *

It was like Bella's nightmares were contagious. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw some new degree of horrible. First, it was that damn leech, standing in my yard taunting me. She was laughing and telling me I wasn't fast enough. And then before I could move my leaden legs, she had her hands around Bella's throat. I woke with a start, sitting straight up and nearly panting. And I'd only been asleep for eight minutes.

Next, it was an all-Bella nightmare. The pack was standing around us, laughing. Bella's face was getting redder and redder, and tears were streaming down her cheeks. I looked over her shoulder to see Charlie holding a shotgun while Sam just shook his head and scowled at me. When I finally managed to open my eyes and shake off the dream, I heard movement coming from my room. Bella wasn't sleeping either.

A few seconds later, my bedroom door opened, and I waited to see what she was doing. If she thought she was going to sneak out to her truck and leave, I had news for her. Maybe she was just getting up for a drink. I wouldn't let myself look. I had the feeling my imagination didn't do justice to how she _actually _looked in my t-shirt.

"Ouch!"

So much for pretending not to notice. Bella had just collided with the coffee table. Either she had no sense of direction, or she wasn't looking for the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"What are _you_ doing?" she replied almost accusingly. She stepped around the coffee table, a little more cautiously this time, and sat down on the edge of the sofa.

"Sleeping," I said. _Or at least trying to...and failing miserably._

"I can't sleep," she said.

"Nightmares?" I asked.

"Not exactly."

"Too much excitement tonight?"

"Probably. But...did I do something wrong?"

Shit. She was upset, and something told me it had to do with me.

"Nope," I said, hoping she's just accept it and go back to bed. Yeah, right.

"If you're going to ignore me, you can at least tell me what I did to deserve it."

She thought I was ignoring her? Okay, so maybe I could understand where she was coming from, but why would she instantly go to that? Why hadn't it occurred to her that I was _trying_ to behave myself and look out for her?

"I'm not ignoring you."

"Oh, sure," she said, sounding angrier than I expected. "I'm sleeping in your room and you're on the sofa and you didn't even kiss me goodnight and you're not trying to come in there."

_If only you knew. _ I sat up and looked at her. Big mistake.

God, she was perfect. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, much of it escaping to sweep around her pale face. My shirt was huge on her, reaching mid-thigh, which at the moment wasn't nearly long enough. It's like my eyes couldn't decide what they should be staring at...her sweet face, her angry eyes, her pouty lips, her perfect legs... _Dammit, focus!_

"Do you _want_ me to come in there?" I asked. _Please say yes. I mean no!_

"No," she said. _Thank God. _"Yes." _ Thank God. _ "I don't know." I couldn't have said it better myself. "Paul's in your sister's room," she said. Like that wasn't going to give me any ideas.

"Yeah, and we both know what they're doing," I told her.

She had her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers around each other and looking nervous. I reached over and placed my hand on top of hers.

"Is that it?" she asked quietly, that beautiful blush coloring her cheeks. "Are you mad because we're not…you know…_sleeping_ together?"

"No!" I said automatically. "What the hell, Bella? _That's_ what you think?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Hadn't I done enough to show her that sex wasn't the only thing on my mind? I mean, yeah, it was definitely on my mind, but did she really think I was mad at her about it?

"Well, what am I supposed to think?" she asked.

"You should think…no, you should _know_…" How was I supposed to word this? "...that they all think I'm gonna be in there with you."

"They?"

"Paul and Rach, my dad, the pack…"

Her blush grew even brighter, and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. _Finally, she gets it._

"Then what's the problem?"

_Maybe not. _I sighed, realizing that embarrassing for her or not, I was just going to have to spell it out. "Sam asked me if I needed some _protection_," I told her.

"Oh."

I rushed to explain before she could get any more upset. "I don't want them thinking that. I just thought it would be better if I stayed out here. Paul's gonna know if I go in there. And he can't keep his fu---sorry! ---his mouth shut. Everybody would just assume…"

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" she asked.

"C'mon, Bells. You get so embarrassed by _everything._" Surely she could understand _that_.

"Well, yeah, but I'd rather be embarrassed than have you being all distant and weird toward me."

She was right. I was being an ass. "I know," I said. "I was just mad—not at you, though---at Sam for thinking…well…and at Paul for laughing about it."

"_That's_ why Paul was laughing? How'd he know?"

"We hear a lot, Bells."

I could see from her expression she understood.

She glanced toward Rachel's room and whispered, "Do you think he can hear us now?"

"He _can_, but he's…" I didn't want to think about it, much less say it. "…_distracted_."

"Wow. You guys really don't have any privacy, do you?"

"You could stay out here, you know. With me."

"Wouldn't that look just as bad?" she asked.

"Not really. Of course, you'd have to be _really _close," I told her. After all, the sofa wasn't made to sleep two.

"I think I can handle that."

* * *

* * *

**_Author's Notes:_**

It seems we've picked up some new readers because the big **"IS EDWARD COMING BACK?**" question is bogging down my inbox. So…

**_1._** Yes, Edward is coming back in the sequel. In the book, he was "this close" to coming back on his own, and I won't just ignore that.

_**2. Will Jacob imprint?**_ By the end of the series, ALL the wolves we know and love will have imprinted. Let the speculation begin.

**_3. How much is left to this story?_** At least 20 more posts. Then we'll move on to the sequel.

**_4. How often do you post?_** I don't have a set schedule, but I aim for once a week. Lately I've been on a roll, and it's been twice a week.

_**It's time to review!**_


	51. Quiet: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX:**** QUIET**  
**(Bella's POV)**

I had to get up so he could pull the thin blanket over me, and then I slid to his side, resting my head on his chest. _Much_ better than his pillow. We lay there in silence for a few minutes, both lost in our own thoughts, before he finally spoke.

"You weren't scared," he said quietly.

"Yes, I was," I told him, rising up just a little so I could look at him. "I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening and Seth said there were six---"

"I meant of me," he explained.

"Of _you_? Why would I be scared of you?"

"When I was phased," he said. "I was a...monster, and you weren't scared." He sounded ashamed and disbelieving.

"You weren't a monster, Jake," I argued. "Besides, I was just happy to see you safe. I didn't even think about it."

"And if you had?" he asked.

He sounded like he was scared of how I might answer, and I knew better than to tell him how I'd briefly wondered if I'd lost my sense of self-preservation. So I hesitated, choosing my words carefully before speaking. "You wouldn't hurt me, Jake. I think I knew that."

His arms wrapped around me more tightly, and he didn't say anything. I lay my head back against his chest, listening to his heart thump beneath my ear. It was such a soothing sound, and I was suddenly reminded of Edward. He'd always loved my heartbeat. At least, I _thought _he had. Then again, I'd thought he loved me, too, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I quickly banished the thoughts from my head. I was with Jacob now. Jacob, who loved me and fought for me and protected me.

"But it was kind of weird," I admitted. "Standing in middle of pack of huge wolves…"

"Only you," he laughed quietly.

"I love you," I said.

"Love you, too, honey."

"But you did kind of smell like dog."

His chest shook with silent laughter.

"Come here," he said, just as I was beginning to fall asleep.

"Huh?" I _was_ here. How much more 'here' could I get than practically lying on top of him?

"Up _here,_" he said. "I believe I owe you a kiss?"

"You sure do," I laughed. I raised myself up a little, not sure how I was supposed to do this. Stand up and lie back down in the right place? Crawl up?

Before I could decide, his hands were under my arms, pulling me up until I was looking down at him, into his eyes. I relaxed against him and lowered my mouth to his.

It was easy to forget about vampires and werewolves and the rest of the world when we were like this. "Goodnight, Jacob," I whispered.

"Oh, no, you don't," he said, pinning me against him.

I laughed and tried to pull away even though I knew it was useless. And when his fingers tangled in my hair and pulled me in for another kiss, I was only too happy to comply.

Jacob was always so gentle with me, yet at the same time so different from the way Edward had been. Our kisses always started out slow and sweet, and even when they didn't develop into quite the make out session we'd had in the parking lot at Newton's, I always felt something deeper, something more passionate underneath. I didn't have to question Jake's attraction to me. I didn't have to wonder if I was the one with the problem, always pushing for just a little more. I knew where I stood, what we had. Unfortunately, I also knew we were in a house full of people who could walk in on us at any second.

As soon as his arm loosened its hold on me I slid down a little, kissing my way from his lips to his neck to his chest. It was no wonder Lauren had tried so hard to get his attention. He really was amazing.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?" I said, feeling his muscles tense and relax beneath my lips.

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice just a raspy breath.

"Getting comfortable," I said as innocently as I could. I kissed his chest and wrapped my arms around him, then slid back to my spot beside him.

I slept soundly...too soundly, actually. I drifted back into consciousness feeling warm, even a little sweaty, and there were strange noises coming from close by. And the smell of something burning.

My eyes flew open, failing to register my surroundings as I looked around frantically. But Victoria hadn't come back. It was just Rachel and Paul making a mess of the kitchen. I pushed myself up and away from Jake, picking at the t-shirt that was now sticking to me.

"Come back." mumbled Jacob sleepily, pulling me half on top of him again.

I pushed away again, planting a quick kiss on his lips. "Nope," I laughed. "I think I need a shower."

"No, you don't," he insisted, refusing to let go of me.

"Ah...I'm all sweaty," I said. "And I'm pretty sure it's your fault."

He opened one eye and looked me over, his eyes lingering a little too long. I crossed my arms over my chest and stood up.

"You look fine to me," Jake said, a playful glint in his eye.

"Shower," I repeated, backing toward the hallway.

"Oh, thank _God!_" Paul said loudly. "Bella, you've gotta get in here. Betty Crocker here is trying to burn the house down!"

There was a loud slap as a spatula made contact with Paul's head.

"Shut up! It's not like you're any help," Rachel said angrily.

"I'll get the fire extinguisher. Is that helpful enough for you?"

"Give me five minutes," I said quickly.

Perched on the grab bar above the tub were a generic bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap. That was it. And that just wasn't going to work. I looked under the sink, and was relieved to find Rachel's stash of toiletries. It's not like I needed an entire salon's worth of products, but with my hair, conditioner was a must.

I made quick work of my shower, not wanting to linger too long in case someone else needed the bathroom. One bathroom at home wasn't too bad since it was just Charlie and me, but I couldn't imagine what mornings were like with three (probably more like four if Paul was as permanent a fixture as I thought he was) people jockeying for bathroom time. I toweled my hair mostly dry and pulled it up into a ponytail, and then I was stuck. I needed to brush my teeth, but of course I hadn't thought to pack a toothbrush when I'd left for work the night before. When I'd stayed at Emily's, she'd actually had a new toothbrush, still in the package, for me to use. I had the feeling that wasn't going to be happening here. Finally, I settled on just putting some toothpaste on my finger and doing the best I could. At least I wouldn't have morning breath.

I eyed the t-shirt I'd slept in. It didn't _look_ dirty, but there was no way I was putting it back on when I'd just cleaned up. And I hadn't thought to grab my clothes from yesterday. Crap. I wrapped the towel tightly around myself and just prayed that I didn't fall down on the way to Jake's room.

"Careful!" Jake warned as I made my way toward the kitchen.

"What happened?" I asked.

Jake was fumbling with a broom and dustpan, sweeping up a wet mess of broken glass.

"Damn glass slipped," he muttered. "I think I got it all, but..." he trailed off and quickly looked me over. "Good," he said. "You're wearing shoes. But I liked you better in just the shirt."

I'd dressed in my jeans from the day before and stolen another one of Jake's t-shirts. "I'm sure you did," I laughed as he stepped over the mess and pulled me into a hug. "Now let's get some breakfast before we're late for school."

"Oh, yeah, school's cancelled today," Jacob said. "Charlie called."

"Oh," I said. "Well, I should probably be getting home then." I really didn't want to. After all, I did have the day off now, but I probably need to at least make an appearance with Charlie.

"Nope," Jake said smugly. "You're staying here until Charlie comes by tonight."

"But---" I began.

"Official orders from the police chief, Bells. You're stuck with me," he said with a big grin.

"Dammit!" Paul exclaimed from the kitchen. "You're gonna kill us all!"

"You'd better get in there," Jake said, nodding toward the kitchen.

"Are you sure it's safe?" I asked, only half-jokingly.

"Probably not."

I shrugged and headed into the war zone.

"What can I help with?" I asked.

"How about cooking lessons?" Paul asked. "Ow!"

This time Rachel forgot about the spatula and just hit him with a skillet.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the charred remains of God knows what that were stuck to the skillet.

"It was supposed to be eggs," she huffed, glaring at me.

I quickly put Rachel to work doing things that did not involve the stove top, and though she seemed less than thrilled with my directions, she didn't argue. She chopped and whisked and mixed, but at no time did she go near a burner. Paul was stuck with dish duty, something he complained about loudly. Occasionally I looked away from the food I was preparing, only to be met by Rachel's dirty looks. Whatever her problem was this time, I was determined not to let it affect me, and in no time we had more than enough food.

Just as we were starting to plate everything, the front door opened, and Billy wheeled himself in.

"Smells good," he said in his usual quiet way.

Jared was right behind him, and within seconds everyone but me was seated somewhere, at the table or on the sofa, stuffing their faces. The mood was unusually somber, not awkwardly so, but quiet nonetheless. It seemed the playful banter I'd grown used to was at a minimum.

"Okay," I said, breaking the silence. "So what really happened last night? Do you know anything more yet?" Without Sam around, I felt a little more comfortable asking questions.

"From what we can tell, she started fires around town to distract everyone," Jake said. "Embry was closest, so he headed to your house, chased her off before Charlie even noticed. Don't look like that, Bella," he said, and I tried to mask the fear that I'm sure was on my face. "We were with him the whole night."

"Who were the others? Was it a new coven?"

"Don't know. They didn't seem like the other bloodsuckers…you know, the Cullens," Jared replied.

"Well, the Cullens were...unusual," I said tentatively. I looked around and was surprised there were no glares or growls. Everyone simply looked...interested. So I continued. "They consider themselves a family, and I guess you know they don't...um...hurt people. They others I met seemed more like...drifters? Not really settled or even very civilized." I stopped then, not sure what else to say.

"They were disorganized and kind of wild...and young," Jacob explained. "Maybe it was the thrill of the hunt, but it just didn't seem right."

"Yeah, the red haired one grabbed another one and threw him toward us when we were after her, like she was sacrificing him or something," Paul added.

I bit back a gasp, unable to imagine any of the Cullens ever putting one of their own in danger. If anything, each one would have sacrificed himself before letting another be hurt.

"But she got away," I said quietly, mostly to myself.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean she's coming back. We burned her arm, and it's not like they grow 'em back, so she's weakened. We might not see her again for a long time." Paul sounded confident, and I tried to believe him. I just couldn't.

"But that doesn't mean she won't be back. I just have to sit here and wait. I can't…I can't just live my life, I always have to wonder..."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't associated with bloodsuckers in the first place---" Rachel started accusingly.

"Rachel!" Billy growled.

She had the good sense to look chastised, but Billy didn't stop there.

"Bella is one of us, now," he said sternly. "You said so yourself. Now, the pack is responsible for protecting people---_all _people---and that includes your brother's girlfriend, the daughter of my very good friend. You are an imprint, you will behave like you are worthy of that title, and you will accept what comes with it."

No one said a word. Billy calmly lifted another bite to his mouth and continued eating his breakfast as if nothing had happened. Rachel looked like she was about to cry, and Paul just looked embarrassed. The tension was actually painful.

Jake dropped his fork and walked over to put an arm around me. It was such a simple gesture, but it was enough. I looked up to smile weakly at him, and he brushed his lips against my forehead.

"Aw, geez. Can't you two _ever_ quit?" Quil stood in the doorway, a mischievous grin on his face. He was quickly distracted by the smell of breakfast. "Wow, Bella. Giving Emily some competition?"

"Hey, why do you just assume it was all Bella?" Rachel asked defensively.

"Because you can't cook, that's why," Paul jabbed.

"Oh, thank _God!"_ The door opened, and Embry walked in, eying the food appreciatively. "Emily didn't cook and I'm starving!"

"You could always eat at home, you know," I laughed. There was a sudden hush, and I could feel them all looking at me.

"No, I couldn't," Embry replied with a wink as he grabbed the plate I was holding.

I looked over at Jacob, who smiled adoringly at me, and I was relieved when the chatter started back up again. I turned back to the kitchen to make another plate for myself, and the front door flew open again. This time it was Seth and Leah, followed by Sam. I gave up on my own breakfast for the moment and just made plates for all of them. They were taking this pack cohesiveness thing a bit far.

When I finally had everyone served and had a chance to sit down with my own plate of food, there was a knock at the door. I counted off the pack in my head. They were all here, so at least no one else was expecting me to feed them. Besides, whoever it was didn't have "walk right in" privileges.

I shoved a bite of food in my mouth. I'd just made breakfast for everyone and barely seated myself. There was no way I was getting up to answer the door. Rachel shrugged and pushed back her chair. She opened the door just a few inches, and from where I was sitting, I couldn't see who it was.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked the visitor.

"Is Embry here?"

I'd know that nasally voice anywhere. Jessica.

* * *

**VOTING IS OPEN for the Razzle-Dazzle Awards**  
**_Breathe Again is the __only Jacob fic_** that's nominated for Best During the Series, so please go to http://razzledazzleawards[dot]webs[dot]com/vote[dot]htm & vote!

Also, nominations are now being accepted for The Tulip Awards, so head over to  
http://tulipawards[dot]webs[dot]com/  
to nominate your favorite fics and authors!

**And now I want to hear from TEAM EDWARD  
**Many of you have told me that you love my Jacob even though you're Team Edward.  
What I want to know now is which guy you want Bella to end up with in the end.  
Are you secretly Team Jacob now? Are you still loyal to Edward? Are you torn between the two?  
The end of the story has already been decided, but I'd love to know where you stand now.


	52. Quiet: Jacob's POV

_**Edward-talk is not allowed after this chaper. Besides, he's not coming back until the sequel, so let's not panic just yet. Out of sight, out of mind, right? **_

_**Speaking of sight... imprinting is kind of like love at first sight, isn't it? Well, now that Jessica's at the door, there's an imprint right around the corner. If you've been in the Twilighted forum lately, you have a very basic idea how that's gonna happen. If not...well...who wants to guess?**_

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: QUIET**  
**(Jacob's POV)**

There wasn't much room on the sofa, but we made it work. I pulled her on top of me, and then she slid over to my side a little, her head resting on my chest and her leg slung over mine. I wished we could lie like that every night.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. I couldn't get over how lucky I was. Bella had amazed all of us with her reaction when we'd come home. Not only had she shown no fear of us, but she'd actually come running, wanting to be close to me even when I looked like I'd just stepped out of a horror movie. I'd seen the look on my sister's face. She knew exactly what Paul was, and even acted a little too proud that one of the pack had imprinted on her, but when faced with the reality of it, she'd practically turned green.

"You weren't scared," I said.

"Yes, I was," she replied. She raised her head to look at me. "I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening and Seth said there were six---"

"I meant of me." Of course she'd been scared while we were gone, and in true Bella fashion, scared for _us_ instead of for herself. But she hadn't been afraid of me.

"Of _you_? Why would I be scared of you?"

"When I was phased. I was a...monster, and you weren't scared."

"You weren't a monster, Jake," she argued. "Besides, I was just happy to see you safe. I didn't even think about it."

"And if you had?" I asked. Surely if she'd taken just a second to think about what she was doing, she would have turned and run the other way. I knew what we were. And even though Bella knew as well, it didn't mean she had to just…embrace it the way she did.

"You wouldn't hurt me, Jake. I think I knew that."

She was simply amazing. I didn't care what anyone else said. Imprinting was nothing compared to what Bella and I had.

"But it was kind of weird," she finally said. "Standing in middle of pack of huge wolves…"

"Only you," I laughed, remembering the looks on everyone's faces, the thoughts in their heads when she'd come running across the yard to us.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Love you, too, honey."

"But you did kind of smell like dog."

We lay there for a moment, both of us quiet. I was grinning, and I would imagine she was too. Even after the night we'd had, everything was perfect when we could just be together.

"Come here," I said.

"Huh?" she asked, sounding confused.

"Up _here,_" I said. "I believe I owe you a kiss?"

"You sure do," she laughed, lifting herself up a little.

I hooked my hands under her arms and pulled her higher. What I wasn't counting on was the feeling of her body sliding up mine. Maybe the sofa wasn't so safe after all.

Her hair fell down around us as she hovered over me, her lips softly touching mine as her legs slipped down on either side of me. I had a bad feeling she was just naïve enough not to realize she was actually straddling me. I probably should have said something, but I _really _didn't want to.

"Goodnight, Jacob," she whispered against my lips.

"Oh, no, you don't," I said, wrapping one arm around her waist and pinning her to me.

She giggled and playfully struggled to get away until I wove one hand into her hair and pulled her face back down to mine. I loved hearing her laugh almost as much as I loved kissing her.

Her lips were so soft. Everything about her was soft…gentle…sweet. And, _God, _the way she kissed me. There weren't words to describe the feel of her, the taste of her, the rush of her breath and the tiny sounds she made.

She broke the kiss and I sighed, glad that she was happy and safe and lying with me, and knowing it was going to be a very long night. And then I felt her lips on my neck.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?" she murmured as she kissed her way down to my chest.

"What are you doing?" I teased.

"Getting comfortable," she replied impishly as she slid herself down.

Her hands slipped beneath my open shirt and she placed a kiss in the center of my chest before rolling to my side again and snuggling against me. She sighed contentedly and yawned.

* * *

It wasn't long before Bella drifted off to sleep. We'd both had an impossibly rough night. But as wiped out as I was, I had too many reasons to stay awake.

At first, it was just that she was there, pretty much lying on top of me. As innocent as it may have been, it didn't _feel_ innocent at all. It felt like every breath she took pressed her closer to me, and it seemed that sleeping Bella was created just to torture me. I could feel her breath against my neck, and occasionally her hand would wander over my chest. And then there were the dozen or so times she curled even closer, drawing her knee up just enough to…um…get my attention. Each time I shifted and slid her leg back, and each time she waited exactly long enough for me to get comfortable before she did it again. I was about to wake her up when she started talking.

At first, it was just mumbling, although I did make out my name a couple of times. But her words progressively got louder and clearer, and it became apparent whatever she was dreaming about scared her.

"Come back…" she murmured.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," I whispered, wrapping my arms more tightly around her.

I hadn't had a lot of experience with Bella while she was sleeping, but I'd thought my being with her would at least lessen her bad dreams. It seemed I was the subject of this one. I waited for the nightmare to subside, but it only seemed to get worse. She said the leech's name, and then she started begging me to wake up. Her body tensed, and she pulled her arms back to curl them to her chest. And then the tears started.

"Bells? Honey, wake up," I said, shaking her gently.

"Mmmm…Jake," she mumbled, curling back up to me.

"Bells?" I asked, not sure if she was really awake.

She quieted again and for a while her sleep seemed peaceful. And then it started again.

"Jake…" she said. "Victoria…no…" she practically sobbed. Her breathing sped up and her hands curled into fists. "Please…don't go."

"Bells," I said, shaking her a little more roughly than I should have.

"Huh?" she asked, groggily raising her head. She didn't open her eyes, and I realized she didn't even know she had been dreaming.

"Shhhh. Go back to sleep, honey," I said, rubbing her back.

"Love you," she mumbled.

"I love you, too."

* * *

The sun was beginning to rise before I finally fell asleep. After what seemed like only a few minutes, I felt Bella trying to sit up.

"Come back," I said, trying to hold her to me.

She got up anyway, kissing me and laughing. "Nope," she said. "I think I need a shower."

"No you don't," I argued sleepily.

"Ah…I'm all sweaty?" she said like it was a question. "And I'm pretty sure it's your fault."

I made the mistake of opening my eyes then, and what a wonderful mistake it was. My t-shirt was of course way too big on her, but I don't think she could have looked sexier if she'd tried. Her hair was all messy and her skin was flushed, glowing with the thin sheen of sweat she was complaining about. And it was just enough that the shirt refused to hang loosely. It wasn't what I would call revealing, but it definitely accented curves Bella normally didn't show off.

"You look fine to me," I said, trying to pull my gaze back to her face.

"Shower," she insisted, backing away before I could pull her to lie down with me again.

I heard Paul yelling from the kitchen, begging Bella to save us all from my sister's attempts at cooking, and I lay back down as Bella hurried off to the shower.

Between the sight of Bella standing before me in a clingy t-shirt and my imagination going wild now that she was in the shower, it only took me a few seconds to figure out there was no point in trying to get anymore sleep. It probably didn't help that Rachel and Paul were turning cooking into a contact sport.

Groaning, I finally gave up and dragged myself off the sofa.

"Rough night?" Paul laughed as I walked into the kitchen.

"Shut up," I grumbled.

I poured myself a glass of water and leaned up against the counter. Rachel looked over with a raised eyebrow. "Nightmares," I said.

"I knew she wasn't okay with it," she said.

"What?"

"The wolf thing. She's not like us, Jake. Did you really think she'd just accept you, fur and all?"

"Oh, you're one to talk," I countered. "Standing there with your mouth hanging open."

"Well what did you expect? That was the first time I ever saw you guys. But at least I didn't have nightmares," she said snidely.

"For your information, her nightmare wasn't about me. It was about the leech."

"Sure it was," Rachel said dismissively.

"Don't mind her," Paul said. "She's just jealous because Bella knew everything."

"She didn't know _everything_," Rachel argued.

"Whatever," I said.

Paul shrugged, and I decided to take my drink and go into the living room. Just then I heard the bathroom door open, and I looked up to see Bella scurry down the hall wearing nothing but a towel. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by broken glass and Paul was laughing again. I stood there for a second, trying to clear the images from my head, then bent to the task and started cleaning up the mess I'd made. The last thing I needed was for Bella to get cut just because I couldn't keep my mind out of the gutter.

* * *

Careful!" I said a little too loudly as Bella came too close to the glass.

"What happened?"

_Well, I was picturing you naked… _ "Damn glass slipped. I think I got it all, but..." I glanced at her feet. "Good. You're wearing shoes."

And thank God she was wearing more than just the towel. Although… "But I liked you better in just the shirt," I said.

"I'm sure you did," she laughed.

I stepped over the pile of glass and pulled her close. She didn't smell as much like fruit and flowers as she usually did.

"Now let's get some breakfast before we're late for school," she said, pulling away and stepping around the glass.

"Oh, yeah, school's cancelled today. Charlie called," I told her.

"Oh, well, I should probably be getting home then."

"Nope," I grinned. "You're staying here until Charlie comes by tonight."

"But---"

"Official orders from the police chief, Bells. You're stuck with me." I wondered if Charlie would mind if I bought him a giant Thank You card.

Paul started yelling again, and Bella's eyes darted toward the kitchen.

"You'd better get in there," I said. It was that or no one was getting breakfast.

"Are you sure it's safe?" she asked.

"Probably not."

* * *

While Bella put out fires in the kitchen, possibly real ones, I hopped in the shower. The bathroom was still warm, and her scent filled the air, tempting me to linger. But at that moment she was in the kitchen…where we kept the knives…with two of the three most unstable people I knew. I needed to make it quick.

I soaped up and rinsed off as fast as I could, then yanked the curtain back to step out. There on the old fuzzy bath mat were two perfect little wet footprints. Proof that Bella stood there…naked…wet…_shit! _ I barely managed to dry off before I pulled on my shorts and got out of there. It was either that, or spend the rest of the day in there with a bar of soap.

Bella was still in the kitchen when I rounded the corner. She had three pans going and was barking out orders like a little drill sergeant. It was too damn cute. Paul looked up and rolled his eyes at me. I just smirked at him and walked out the front door. Served him right for laughing last night.

I jogged across the yard to the woods and phased. Only Jared was out, and from the looks of it he was headed our way.

"_Everything cool?" _I asked.

"_Think so. Where's everyone?"_

"_Probably still sleeping. Last night was insane!"_ he said.

I didn't make any effort to respond. He could read my thoughts anyway, and it was no secret I wasn't nearly as excited about last night as the rest of them were. They were acting like it was a game, something fun that we had won, and I knew it was so much darker than that. I'd seen that male leech go after Bella in the meadow. I'd seen the fear in her eyes, heard her sobs as she ran away, smelled the cold sweat breaking on her skin. And she'd told me about the other one, the one that lured her into that dance place, the one who bit her.

"_Bit her? Dude! What the…how…but she's not a leech!"_

Dammit, I knew better than to think about that when I was phased. I tried to clear my mind, think of other things like Sam taught me, but Jared was begging to know. And the more he prodded, the more I saw her telling me about the scar on her hand.

"_That's…shit, man," he said. _

Jared's thoughts were a mess, first confused, then pissed off, then awed…and then confused again.

I phased before he could get anything more from me and yanked my shorts back on. Great. I hadn't meant to keep it a secret from everyone---I just didn't like thinking about it, and I _certainly _didn't want to have to explain it. The way he'd nearly killed her, the way Cullen had saved her…it was all so messed up. Bella deserved better. She deserved to be happy and safe.

"Son," Dad said, nodding his simple greeting at me as I walked back up to the house.

"Hey, Dad."

"Things are quiet," he said.

"Yep."

"Good. Food's almost ready," he said.

* * *

Bella was still the queen of the kitchen when I went back inside. She had enough trouble on her hands with Paul and my sister, so I just stayed out of the way. Dad came in a few seconds later, followed by Jared, and Bella started serving everyone. She seemed so in her element that I couldn't stop watching her. She belonged there with us, with my family, with _me. _ She was like Emily that way, just accepting everyone and finding her place with us. She looked so at home, and my imagination took off, picturing a future where it was _our_ home.

"Okay," she said suddenly. "So what really happened last night? Do you know anything more yet?" She leaned back against the counter and looked at us expectantly.

I knew it was too much to hope that she wouldn't have any more questions. So I spoke first. "From what we can tell, she started fires around town to distract everyone. Embry was closest, so he headed to your house, chased her off before Charlie even noticed."

Her eyes grew wide and what little color she had fled her skin.

"Don't look like that, Bella," I said. "We were with him the whole night."

"Who were the others? Was it a new coven?" she asked.

"Don't know. They didn't seem like the other bloodsuckers…you know, the Cullens," Jared said.

"Well, the Cullens were...unusual," she said. She paused for a second and looked around, then continued. "They consider themselves a family, and I guess you know they don't...um...hurt people. They others I met seemed more like...drifters? Not really settled or even very civilized."

"They were disorganized and kind of wild...and young," I said. "Maybe it was the thrill of the hunt, but it just didn't seem right." Even if they were drifters like she said, it didn't add up.

"Yeah, the red haired one grabbed another one and threw him toward us when we were after her, like she was sacrificing him or something," Paul said.

Bella looked horrified, and I wondered if she was thinking of them, the Cullens.

"But she got away," she said softly.

I wanted to say something reassuring, but I just didn't have it in me. She was right. The leech got away. And she'd probably be back.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean she's coming back," Paul said.

At least someone was optimistic.

"We burned her arm," he continued, "and it's not like they grow 'em back, so she's weakened. We might not see her again for a long time."

"But that doesn't mean she won't be back," Bella said, echoing my concerns. "I just have to sit here and wait. I can't…I can't just live my life, I always have to wonder..."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't associated with bloodsuckers in the first place---" Rachel said.

_You can't hit a girl. You can't hit a girl. You can't hit a girl…even if she deserves it._

"Rachel!" Dad said angrily.

She tucked her head and pretended she knew she was wrong. Dad knew as well as I did that it was an act. Even Paul looked skeptical.

"Bella is one of us, now," Dad continued. "You said so yourself. Now, the pack is responsible for protecting people---_all _people---and that includes your brother's girlfriend, the daughter of my very good friend. You are an imprint, you will behave like you are worthy of that title, and you will accept what comes with it."

Everyone was quiet, and Bella shifted uncomfortably. I didn't even realize I was moving, but suddenly I was standing right next to her. I put an arm around her and pulled her toward me, and she gave me a little smile. I kissed the top of her head, trying to say without words that she didn't need to feel bad about what had just happened. Rachel _had_ been asking for it.

"Aw, geez. Can't you two _ever_ quit?" Quil interrupted, and for once I was glad for the intrusion. "Wow, Bella," he said. "Giving Emily some competition?"

"Hey, why do you just assume it was all Bella?" Rachel just had to open her big mouth again.

"Because you can't cook, that's why," Paul said.

"Oh, thank _God!"_ Embry exclaimed loudly, letting himself in. "Emily didn't cook and I'm starving!"

"You could always eat at home, you know," Bella teased.

Crap. Everyone went silent. Bella didn't know about Embry's home life…if you could call it that.

"No, I couldn't," Embry laughed, winking at her and taking the plate right out of her hands. This time I would let him get away with it.

Seth, Leah, and Sam joined us, and I watched as Bella played hostess to them before finally sitting down herself.

A knock on the door surprised everyone. Unless it was Emily---and she probably would've just walked in, everyone was already here. Rachel got up to answer it, and when she opened the door, I caught a glimpse of curly hair. I shoved a huge bite of omelet into my mouth to keep from laughing. Embry was in for a shock.

"Who the hell are you?" Rachel asked.

"Is Embry here?"

Bella's eyes widened and she looked quickly at me. I nodded my head and turned to Embry. He looked like a deer in headlights.

* * *


	53. Nuisance: Bella's POV

**m&m: Thank you :)**

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN:** **NUISANCE **  
**(Bella's POV)**

Embry looked like he was going to make a run for it, but Paul was quicker, jumping up and flinging the door open. Jessica's eyes lit up the second she saw Embry, and she pushed past a shocked Rachel to plant herself right in Embry's lap. For a guy who fought vampires, he seemed awfully scared, and everyone looked to be enjoying his discomfort. Even Sam had a smirk on his face.

Jessica certainly wasn't my favorite person, but she wasn't _all_ bad. She just seemed insecure, something I had no trouble sympathizing with, but she tended to overcompensate in the worst ways. It appeared she'd now latched onto Embry, and while I was sure Mike would be relieved, I was a little scared for the pack. The only time Jessica was even close to subtle was when she was being backhanded, and I doubted even a werewolf was equipped to handle her.

It was actually Seth who finally took pity on Embry, casually asking if the guys would mind helping his mom with some yard work since it wasn't raining at the moment. There was clearly no polite way to get rid of Jessica, but at least Seth managed to remove some of the audience.

I talked her off Embry's lap by asking her to help me with the dishes. Rachel took one look at us in the kitchen and turned up her nose, disappearing to her room and dragging Paul along with her. Embry, of course, made a beeline for the door, and I nearly laughed aloud when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jake's hand fly out and clamp down on his shoulder. We were willing to help him out, but there was no way he was sticking us with her.

"So, Bella…" Jessica said. "Do you guys do this breakfast thing often?"

I knew better than to answer without thinking it through first. No, we didn't, but I was afraid if I told her that, she'd ask why today was an exception. The last thing I wanted to do was admit that I'd spent the night---the rumor mill would be spinning before all the words were out of my mouth---and I was a horrible liar.

"Ah…well, since school was canceled we just…it seemed…you know how I like to cook," I stammered.

"Really? I didn't know that," she said. "That's cool, though. Oooooh! I should make dinner for Embry!"

"Oh," I said. Really, what was I _supposed_ to say?

"What should I make?" she asked excitedly. "Do you know what he likes?"

"He likes pizza!" Jake yelled from the living room.

"Oh," she said, sounding disappointed. "Bella, do you have a recipe for that?"

"No, sorry," I replied. I did, but I couldn't quite bring myself to torture Embry like that. It was time for a change of subject. "Hey, did you see the fires last night?

"Who didn't? They were everywhere!" she exclaimed. "Did you see Newton's this morning?"

I shook my head.

"Really?" she asked, her forehead crinkling up in a very unattractive way. "You had to pass right by there on your way to La Push."

"Oh, yeah, but I was running late…you know, for breakfast, so I didn't really get a good look," I explained weakly.

"Well, let me tell you it's a mess! And Mike better not think I'm going to be volunteering to help or anything. I really don't think that would be right. You know, since I'm with Embry now."

I had to turn quickly and wipe down the already clean countertop so she wouldn't see the look of complete disbelief on my face.

* * *

I grabbed Jacob's hand and did my best to drag him into his room. Fortunately, he didn't resist, and it was all I could do not to slam the door behind us.

"Well, if you wanted to be alone…" he said smugly as he closed the distance between us. He started to put his arms around me, and I slapped them away.

"I do not want to be alone," I said through clenched teeth.

"What's wrong?" he asked. His smirk was gone, and his eyes were wide with confusion.

"What's _wrong_?" I asked him, folding my arms across my chest and glaring at him. "You two go off and leave me with _her_, and you ask me what's _wrong_?!"

Three hours. For three hours Jessica had followed me around the house, asking me questions about Embry, insisting we should double date, and basically driving me nuts. She kept trying to talk to Embry, but each time he'd somehow turn her attention to me. Apparently, Jessica and Embry were soul mates and I was now her best friend.

It's not that I minded her company---in theory. She was being genuinely nice, and instead of talking non-stop about herself, she showed a real interest in me, asking questions about Phoenix, my interests, and even Charlie. But it was kind of like that day I jumped off the cliff. If I'd been prepared, if I'd worked my way up to it, if I'd wanted to do it for halfway sane reasons, it probably wouldn't have turned out so bad. But there I was, struggling against whatever current prevented me from getting away from Jessica, and I was drowning in a sea of too much idiotic babbling.

"We didn't leave, Bells. We just went outside for a few minutes," Jake said, stepping toward me again.

I backed away. "Forty-seven minutes is not just a few, Jacob," I argued.

"Well, it took me a while to catch him," he shrugged.

"Catch him? He ran?" Werewolf or not, I was going to kill Embry. Or maybe I'd just give Jessica that pizza recipe and let her cooking do it for me.

"Hell yeah, he ran," Jake said, as if stating the obvious. "Wouldn't you?"

I was in no mood to agree with him, so I just kept glaring.

"He phased before I could stop him, and man, he can really bolt when he needs to," he laughed.

Okay, I suppose it was kind of funny. And Jacob _had_ dragged him back. But it didn't change the fact that what should have been a nice quiet day with my boyfriend had turned into The Jessica Show.

"Get rid of them," I insisted.

"Okay," he said, throwing up his hands in surrender. "Just stop looking at me like that. _Please_?"

* * *

The rest of the day was slow-paced and simple, quite a contrast the night before…and the morning from hell. We watched TV, hung out with the pack---minus Embry, and even went down to the beach for a walk together. We didn't talk about anything serious. Jealous girls, vampires, and all things unpleasant were banned topics, and I think we were both happier for the break. Spending the day with Jacob like that was easy and relaxing, and I found myself daydreaming about what it would be like if we could do that all the time.

"Bella, are you even listening?" Rachel asked, annoyed.

"Sorry," I said, returning to the issue at hand. "I was just..."

"Thinking about my brother?" she grinned.

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and she just held up a jar. She'd been acting strange, almost a little mean toward me all day, but then she'd suddenly switch gears and act friendly again. I couldn't figure her out.

"No. Absolutely not," I said. "No 'super secret recipe' tonight. We're making our own sauce."

I'd called Charlie at the station earlier, but he was still buried in his arson investigation. It was the worst crime to strike Forks in all his years there, and the whole town was on edge. I knew there was no need, but I had to stay in La Push until he could come by and follow me home. There wasn't anything I could do to make his job any easier, but I could make sure he was well fed. That's how I ended up in the kitchen with Rachel again, arguing about a jar of Ragu.

"Fine," she sighed. "But trust me, they won't know the difference." She rolled her eyes theatrically and put the sauce back in the pantry then turned to me with a smile. I was starting to wonder if there was some medication around that she'd forgotten to take.

Fortunately, the Blacks were fond of canned goods, fast-cooking pasta, and fresh vegetables from their tiny garden out back, so finding the right ingredients was easy.

I managed to do my part of the chopping without lopping off any fingers, and spent the rest of the time directing Rachel. It was an easy recipe using canned tomatoes, a few vegetables, and a lot of stirring. So as long as she kept the spoon moving, there wasn't much she could do to mess it up.

Charlie arrived just as we were finishing up in the kitchen, and to my surprise he walked straight in and hugged me. I was so stunned I didn't know what to do at first, but then I quickly remembered the natural reaction would be to return the hug. After a couple of seconds, he pulled away, awkwardly clearing his throat and looking for an escape.

"That the game?" he asked Billy.

"Yep."

Charlie grabbed two beers and joined the guys in front of the TV for a few minutes while I set the table.

"Dinner!" Rachel announced loudly when we had everything ready.

She didn't have to tell them twice. Jake and Paul practically fell over each other racing the few feet to the kitchen, and Charlie and Billy were surprisingly close behind them. Everyone had their plates piled high within seconds.

"Smells great. Thanks, Bells," Charlie said.

"Thank Rachel," I replied. "All I really did was chop some veggies."

Rachel's beaming smile was quickly replaced by an angry scowl as everyone but she and I dropped their forks.

"Ah...I'm not really very hungry," Paul said, scooting his chair back.

"Yeah, I had a big lunch," Jake said.

"Doc said I should watch my carbs," Billy added.

Apparently Rachel had quite a reputation when it came to cooking, and it looked like she was going to burst into tears.

"Jacob, if you don't eat right now..." I warned.

Shock registered in his expression, but then he had the good sense to look chagrined. All eyes were on him as he twirled a couple of noodles around his fork and took the smallest possible bite. And then the shock was back.

"This isn't bad," he said, sounding like he couldn't believe what he was saying. He took another, much bigger bite and grinned. "It's actually edible!"

Everyone soon followed suit, and before long they were asking for seconds.

"So do you have any leads?" Billy asked.

"No. It's the damnedest thing," Charlie replied. "At first we thought it was just some stupid kids, a prank gone wrong. But it looks like all the fires were started around the same time. It's more than just simple arson."

"Like what?" I asked. I knew he'd never figure out the real reason the fires were set, but I was curious as to just how close he'd get.

"We think the fires were just a diversion, something to distract us from the real crime. Only problem is we can't figure out what that is. Nothing's been reported missing, no break-ins other than the ones related to the fires, and none of the places that were hit seem like they would have been a target for anything else. The safe at Newton's wasn't touched. And why a church?"

Billy's control over his expressions was simply amazing. He managed to look interested and curious, even impressed a little by Charlie's explanation. And it was his perfect reaction that kept Charlie from noticing those of us who were more transparent.

"We're starting to wonder if they weren't after some kind of information…or maybe a person. Can't imagine what---or who---that would be though," he said. "All I know is that someone around here knows something, and we're gonna get to the bottom of it."

Charlie's assessment mirrored the pack's. The only details the officials in Forks hadn't zeroed in on were the identities of the culprits and their primary intentions. Vampires sent to kill me.

Rachel fumbled with her fork, clanking it loudly on the rim of her plate. I pushed my food around in little circles, afraid if I looked Charlie in the eye he'd see right through me. Paul shoved so much spaghetti in his mouth I worried that he would choke. But Jacob managed to look almost as unaffected as Billy did. Like father like son, I guess.

"But no one was hurt, right?" I asked.

"No, not really. Unless you count Mrs. Cohen's Pomeranian," he laughed. "Stupid little thing decided to eat half a roll of foil while the old lady was outside watching all the action."

Billy managed to steer the conversation from dogs to fishing, and soon Charlie was telling Paul and Jake stories about "whoppers" and the ones that got away. He looked tired, but happy to have his mind off work for the moment, and Rachel and I soon excused ourselves to do the dishes. Jake came in and hovered for a while, but three people in a kitchen that small was just an accident waiting to happen, and we'd already pushed our luck when making breakfast. After I tripped over Jake for the fifth or sixth time, he finally grabbed Paul and went outside, to the garage I assumed. After they'd been gone for a few minutes, Rachel caught me looking at Charlie.

"He's not even paying attention," she said with a knowing smile. "Go find Jake."

I tossed my dishtowel over the faucet and slipped out the front door, wondering if I'd ever figure out Rachel's mood swings.

* * *

The garage lights were off, and there was no sign of the guys. I wandered outside and looked around. I waited around for a few minutes, wandering aimlessly around the yard, but I had no idea where to find him.

"Oh, there you are," Charlie said, stepping out of the house. "Ready to go?"

"Ummmm…yeah," I said, still looking around for Jake.

"Come on, I'll follow you."

Rachel stepped outside and hugged me goodbye, and Billy nodded, but there was no sign of Jacob. Realizing I couldn't stall forever and knowing that Charlie was exhausted, I sighed and walked over to my truck. The door handle was missing, but the window was down, so I reached inside to pull it open. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to explain that to Charlie, but that wasn't really my priority at the moment.

Driving back into Forks was…strange. The smell of smoke lingered in the air, and the streetlights illuminated a light haze still clouding the night. I slowed nearly to a stop as I drove past what used to be Newton's Outfitters. The building was still there, but it was charred almost black, and several windows were blown out. Yellow police tape surrounded the scene, and a lone cruiser sat in the parking lot. The honk of Charlie's horn was the only thing that kept me from rolling my truck up onto the sidewalk, and I switched my focus back to the road.

A few minutes later, I was pulling into my driveway, feeling a little like one of those people who returns home after a long time away, only to find that everything has changed. I turned off the truck as Charlie pulled in beside me, and I climbed out.

"Hope you don't mind if I turn in early," he said as we walked inside.

"No, I'm sure you've got some sleep to catch up on. I'm just gonna read or something."

Charlie kicked off his shoes by the door and put away his gun. He stopped at the fridge to grab a beer as I headed upstairs to my room.

"Hey, Bells?" he called out.

"Yeah, Dad?" I stopped halfway up the stairs and waited.

"We still need to talk about Jake."

* * *

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**_http://simplytwilight[dot]com/eFiction35/index[dot]php_**

**_And if you do post a fic there, let me know so I can check it out! :)_**


	54. Nuisance: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN:** **NUISANCE **  
**(Jacob's POV)**

I couldn't have planned it better myself. Embry had a habit of leading girls on, and it was finally coming back to bite him in the ass. Before he started phasing, he always played the shy card. He acted all nice and sensitive, and they fell for it every time. To his credit, he never really took it too far, but it was still a mean game to play. I think he just liked the attention.

After going through his first phase, shooting up several inches in height, and putting on some muscle, he'd changed his game. Shy wasn't necessary anymore, since girls seemed to notice him without the act. Now he just grinned and let them fall at his feet. This one had fallen a bit too hard, and now she was standing at our door.

"_You're_ Jessica? From last night?" Rachel asked. Apparently Paul had filled her in.

Embry turned a little green and looked around for an escape.

"Hey, Embry! Your woman's here!" Rachel yelled. She was getting as much enjoyment out of this as I was. I couldn't blame her. Embry annoyed her nearly as much as I did growing up, and it didn't look like she'd forgotten it.

"My _what_?" he choked. His eyes darted around nervously, silently begging us for help, but he was in the wrong company for that.

He jumped out of his chair, ready to take off, but Paul anticipated his move, springing over to Rachel and swinging the door open wide. The look on Embry's face when Jessica jumped in his lap was something I'd never forget. And I planned on playing it over and over in my mind every time we phased for the rest of our lives.

We all sat watching in amusement as he half-heartedly ate the food he'd been dying for just minutes earlier, and Jessica talked his ear off. She was going on and on about some dress she needed, asking him a million questions she never gave him time to answer, and scolding him for being too messy when he ate. Too bad he hadn't imprinted on her. I could have watched this go on forever.

I glanced over at Bella to find her expression fighting between pity and humor. I knew she'd feel sorry for Embry---she felt sorry for _everyone. _But I was glad she was getting a silent laugh out of it, too. She was quickly becoming one of us.

"That was great, Bella. Thanks," Seth said, pushing his chair away from the table.

Bella smiled at him, clearly pleased. His eyes lit up as he returned her smile, and then he suddenly looked at me. Immediately he cleared his throat, his gaze dropping to the empty plate he held, and he shuffled away to the kitchen. Smart boy. His crush on Bella was becoming obvious. I really couldn't blame him, but he was only going to get away with so much.

"So…I need to get home," he said. "Told Mom I'd help her with the yard."

No one paid any attention to him. We were all too busy watching Jessica pick at Embry's hair as she explained why he needed to grow it out like some guy she saw on TV.

"Umm…guys? Hey!"

Even Jessica noticed Seth this time, and she scrunched up her face in annoyance. Seth repeated his bit about the yard work, and then he just stood there, looking at everyone expectantly. Sam had to get home to Emily, but Jared and Quil reluctantly offered to help. Embry, seeing his opportunity for escape, started to volunteer as well, but Jessica cut him off, insisting they didn't get enough quality time together.

Bella's pity finally took over, and she asked Jessica to help her with the dishes. Jessica didn't look happy about having to be a whole ten feet away from Embry, but she followed Bella into the kitchen anyway.

The second she was out of reach, Embry sprung toward the door.

"Not so fast," I said, grabbing him by the shoulder. "This is _your_ problem. If you leave, take it with you."

He glared at me, glanced over at the door again, and then sighed. "Fine. What's on TV?"

* * *

While the girls cleaned up from breakfast, Embry and I flipped through channels, trying to find something decent to watch.

"So what happened last night?" I asked him.

"You know what happened," he said.

He was right, to an extent. As focused as he'd been on hunting vampires last night, his thoughts had still occasionally flitted to Jessica. I knew he and Quil had caught up with the girls a few miles from Newton's, and they'd driven out to the Timber Museum together. Leah had tormented Lauren just long enough for her to mouth off, and it looked like someone was going to be sporting a black eye for a while. Poor Quil had been stuck with a pouting Lauren while Embry swapped spit with Jessica---and _not_ in my car, thank God. I really didn't want to have to torch it after all the work I'd put into it.

"I only know what you were thinking about," I said. "Apparently I missed something epic, like a proposal."

He rolled his eyes. "Dude, all we did was mess around a little. Not even third base! I don't know what her deal is."

"I'd say her deal is you," I grinned.

"You gotta help me get rid of her," he said.

"Nope."

"C'mon, man," he pleaded. "It's part your fault anyway."

"_My_ fault? How is this _my_ fault?" There was no way I was taking the fall for this.

"I wouldn't even have met her if I hadn't been helping you out," he insisted.

"Okay, first of all, I didn't ask for your help, and---"

"Just because you didn't have the balls to---"

"And second, you're the one who went chasing after her."

"But---"

"You screw with girls' heads all the time, man. Odds were you'd eventually get a stalker."

His mouth opened like he wanted to say something, but then he quickly shut it. He narrowed his eyes at me and grabbed the remote.

* * *

When the girls were done in the kitchen, Embry jumped up from the sofa and moved to the chair. He looked pretty satisfied with himself until Jessica hopped on his lap again. Apparently nothing was going to keep her from sitting with him. Bella snuggled up at my side, but there was no getting comfortable with Ms. Fatal Attraction in the room.

I'd felt sorry for her at first, but the more she talked, the more that feeling faded. She was louder than the TV, no matter how much I turned up the volume, and even though it was obvious that Embry didn't want to be around her, she just couldn't take a hint. I was tempted to just spell it out for her, but it was kind of fun watching Embry squirm. Besides, Bella seemed to be getting along with her well enough, and even though I knew they weren't very close, I didn't want to be rude to her friend. Even if she was the most annoying person I'd ever met.

When it came time to check in with Sam, Jessica didn't want to let go of Embry. Apparently she didn't believe him when he said he'd be right back---and neither did I. I didn't know what to do to get out the door without her following us, though. It's not like we could say, '_Hey, we're gonna go morph into vampire slaying monsters real quick, okay?' _ Fortunately, Bella saved us by asking Jessica about a dress. Jessica got a wild look in her eye, let out an eardrum shattering squeal, and started spewing words so fast I couldn't tell if she was excited or insane. But either way, we had an appointment with the pack.

Embry and I bolted out the door and ran to the woods, phasing the second we were behind the thick cover. We tried to keep our thoughts quiet, simply listening as Sam and Jared tried to talk Collin down from hysteria. We'd been expecting it for a few days now, but we were all kind of hoping it wouldn't happen. It seemed that the leech attack had been just enough to rip him out of his human form. It sounded like the only thing that had kept him from phasing earlier was the gallons of cold medicine his mother had been filling him with, keeping him completely calm and practically comatose for a few days.

Poor kid was only thirteen, and I doubted he was ready for something like this. Then again, none of us had been. Sam had been trying to get access to Collin for days, but short of telling his mom what was really going on, there was no way he could argue with her when she insisted he was contagious and couldn't have visitors. The result was that his mother had been standing in the doorway to his room when he phased, and she was convinced he was a demon who'd taken her child and was now trying to kill her. Her panic only fueled his agitation, and he was too upset to phase back any time soon. From Sam's thoughts I gathered that he and Jared were just out of sight near Collin's house, while Emily and Leah were in the house, doing their best to calm the hysterical woman. We waited a few minutes, knowing that Sam recognized our presence, but we were just a distraction to him, so we phased back.

"So, I guess Brady's a goner, too, huh?" Embry asked.

"Looks like it," I replied, pulling my shorts back on.

Brady was another one that was too young for this, but his "fever" had started a few days after Collin's did, and it was just a matter of time before he joined us. We were probably just lucky they didn't both phase at the same time.

"We're gonna have our hands full," Embry said.

I nodded and looked over at him. Why was he still standing there naked? _Oh. Shit._

That sneaky little bastard grinned deviously and leapt away from me, phasing just after his feet hit the ground. I yanked my shirt back up, trying not to rip it as it tangled over my head. I couldn't exactly walk back in the house with no clothes on while the girls were there, and he knew it.

"Dammit, Embry!" I kicked off my shorts and sprung, phasing mid-air to chase after him.

I zeroed in on his mind, ignoring everyone else who was phased. Poor Collin was just beginning to calm down, and now he had to witness a full on chase through his mind.

'_Embry!'_

'_No!'_

'_You can't run forever!'_

'_Watch me!'_

It was all pointless. He was going to have to stop eventually. I was faster than anyone in the pack, including Sam, and even with his head start, Embry wasn't so ahead of me that he'd get very far. And if luck was on his side, and he managed to slip too far ahead, Sam would simply command that he stop. He'd be lucky if he got out to the mountains before I caught up to him.

I could hear his paws crashing through the dense undergrowth just ahead of me as he barreled between trees, leaves flying and branches snapping behind him, and I picked up my pace.. He was still running at top speed, his head down and paws heavily pushing off the ground with each step, and I was just getting started. I was watching the ground ahead of him through his mind, and he was doing the same with me. I felt his desperation as soon as he saw I got a glimpse of him. He was about to make a fatal mistake.

It takes a lot to make a werewolf stumble. Our phased bodies practically sense obstacles, and we can spin almost instantly, changing course without missing a step. Unless we're not looking through our own eyes.

Embry's focus was constantly changing between what was ahead of him and what I was seeing ahead of me. He was focused on what I was seeing again when it struck me, and I reacted before I even completed the thought.

I knew where each tree, each rock was in front of me. The only other thing in my path was Embry. I closed my eyes and leapt forward. He was still watching through my mind, and for a second, all he could get from my thoughts was the backs of my eyelids. I heard his confusion and panic just as he focused his gaze ahead and sideswiped a tree, slowing him just enough that I crashed into him. The struggle was over in seconds.

* * *

The second we walked in, Bella jumped up off the sofa and stalked toward me. She grabbed my arm and spun, trying to pull me toward my room. Finally. I didn't care if all we did in there was play checkers, as long as there was a closed door between us and her chatty little friend.

She kicked the door shut and turned to face me.

"Well, if you wanted to be alone…" I said, only to be surprised when she slapped my hands away from her.

"I do not want to be alone," she spat.

"What's wrong?"

I don't think I'd ever seen her angry before…at least not like this. I'd seen her upset, hurt, maybe a little mad. But I'd never seen her eyes flash fire or heard her voice quite so steely. For such a tiny girl, she could be a little scary.

"What's _wrong_?" she asked, stepping back to glare at me. "You two go off and leave me with _her_, and you ask me what's _wrong_?!"

Make that a _lot _scary. "We didn't leave, Bells. We just went outside for a few minutes," I said. I got that she wasn't happy with Embry and Jessica, but it wasn't exactly _my_ fault. Jessica was _her_ friend, not mine. And the only reason I hadn't already shoved her out of my house was Bella.

"Forty-seven minutes is not just a few, Jacob," she argued.

Had we really been gone that long? "Well, it took me a while to catch him."

"Catch him? He ran?" she asked, her voice rising.

"Hell yeah, he ran," I said. "Wouldn't you?"

She didn't answer, but she wasn't glaring…as bad.

"He phased before I could stop him," I tried to explain. "And man, he can really bolt when he needs to."

Her eyes narrowed at me. "Get rid of them," she said.

_Gladly. _"Okay. Just stop looking at me like that." I thought I saw a flicker of my sweet girl somewhere behind the anger. "_Please_?"

* * *

Bella and Rachel almost had dinner ready when Charlie showed up. Rachel's contribution to the meal had everyone making excuses not to eat, and Bella made _me_ the guinea pig. I really hoped my supernatural abilities included immunity to food poisoning. Otherwise tonight was going to be a repeat of that Thanksgiving a couple of years ago when Rachel had tried to kill us with what she swore was turkey. I thought about warning Bella, but the look in her eyes and the tone of her voice slapped that thought right out of my head. Still, I wasn't looking forward to death by spaghetti.

"This isn't bad," I said. The noodles weren't over or undercooked, and the sauce was…"It's actually edible!" Bella's influence in the kitchen might have just saved all our lives.

We ended up talking about the attack, or, as Charlie knew it, the "arson investigation." I knew better than to hope the cops were just as clueless as the rest of the locals. Sure enough, Charlie told us they thought the fires were a distraction from the real crime.

It was hard to sit there without feeling guilty. Charlie had every official in the county working overtime, and he'd never get to the bottom of it. What's worse is that we all knew Bella was the target, and yet no one would, no one _could _tell him. It's not like he could do anything about it anyway. His department issued gun was nothing to a bloodsucker. But I'd take care of his daughter for him, even if he'd never know just how much.

Dad worked his usual magic, easily leading the conversation in a different direction just as everyone's nerves were starting to show, and when dinner was done, Rachel and Bella headed back to the kitchen to clean up. I wanted to help out, but they just kept pushing me out of their way. I hated that Bella had spent so much time at my house stuck in the kitchen, but she wasn't complaining so I let it go and gestured to Paul that I was going outside.

We were walking to the garage when we heard the howl. It didn't sound like an emergency, but we still couldn't ignore it, so we stepped around back and phased.

* * *


	55. Overwrought: Bella's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: OVERWROUGHT**  
**(Bella's POV)**

I tried reading, but my mind kept wandering elsewhere. So much had happened in so little time, and while it all made sense, it was all so hard to digest.

I'd gone from normal, albeit clumsy, girl from Phoenix to ex-girlfriend of a vampire and current girlfriend of a werewolf. If I hadn't been living it, I would have sworn it came from the front page of one of those grocery store tabloids. The logical part of me wanted to pick it all apart and analyze it, as if that would somehow make it easier to believe. But the fact was that I was living in some kind of supernatural alternate reality now, one in which a one-armed vampire was hunting me and a pack of werewolves were hunting her, and I just needed to get used to it.

I'd been staring at the same page forever. I sighed and dropped the book beside the bed. It was getting late, and I was mentally exhausted. I headed into the bathroom for my nightly routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face and then pulled on some sweats and a tank top.

Once changed, I headed downstairs for a glass of water and an excuse to call Jake. It was after eleven, and long past the polite time to be calling anyone, but I knew Billy wouldn't mind. I quickly dialed Jake's number before I could change my mind and waited for someone to pick up.

"_Hello?" _Rachel answered on the fifth ring, but she didn't sound sleepy. I wasn't sure I wanted to know why it had taken her so long to answer.

"Rachel? It's Bella. Is Jake there?" I asked hopefully.

_"No, I haven't seen him since after dinner. I thought maybe he was with you,"_ she replied. _ "But Paul's not here either, so maybe they're doing some kind of pack thing."_

"Yeah, that's probably it," I sighed. "Well, if you see him, can you just let him know I called? I'm going to bed, so I'll just talk to him tomorrow."

Rachel and I made small talk for a little while. She still seemed pretty worked up, but not nearly as emotional as she had been last night or as bitchy as she was this morning. If anything, she was now overjoyed to be "part of the legends," as she put it, and she even went so far as to say we were like sisters. _Sisters who don't get along, _I thought. It made me miss Alice all the more.

When she finally stopped gushing about how "cool" it was that the boys were wolves, I yawned loudly, and she let me off the phone. I set my glass by the sink and dragged myself upstairs and into bed. I was asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

* * *

I awoke with a start, my heart thundering in my chest. I hadn't had a nightmare, but I was uneasy all the same. Something was off. I could _feel_ it.

I rubbed at my eyes and blinked a couple of times. The cloud cover must have been thick. It was black as pitch, and I could barely discern the outline of my window against the wall. The curtains were wide open, and yet no moonlight shone through. It was clearly _way_ too early to be awake.

I untangled the sheet that had wound itself around my legs and yanked the covers back up, turning on my side to curl up with Jake's shirt. I loved wearing it, but I was afraid the scent would fade. So I simply held it against my chest, breathing it in as I fell asleep.

If only I could clear my head. My mind was simply playing tricks on me, probably a result of the whole Victoria mess. I was just being paranoid. There was nothing out there. And just I closed my eyes and began to drift off again, I heard it. Tapping.

I sat up and turned toward the window, trying to see something in the darkness.

_Tap. _

My heart wasn't thundering anymore. It had simply stopped.

_Tap._

"Bella!" came a muffled voice from outside.

"Jake?"

I fumbled for the lamp switch and glanced down at myself. Not exactly my finest, but Jacob was never one for dressing up, so I didn't suppose it mattered.

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

"Okay, I'm coming," I answered, trying to keep my voice down.

I hurried over to the window and pulled. It hardly budged. I pulled again, and it rose about an inch. Apparently that was good enough, because he reached one long arm out and, hooking his fingers under it, raised it with hardly a sound. I stepped back as the cold night air rushed in.

"You're gonna need to oil that," he said before springing into my room.

"Oh really?" I asked. "Are you planning on making this a habit?"

"Definitely," he said, pulling me into his arms.

A comforting heat radiated from his bare chest. We stood there for a while, just holding onto each other in silence, until I finally yawned.

"Okay, sleepy, let's get you into bed," he said, still holding me close as he backed me away from the open window.

"Are you leaving?" I asked. I knew Charlie would kill us both if he found Jake in my room, especially after that thing with Mrs. Newton.

"Not a chance," he replied as the backs of my legs hit the mattress and I fell back on the bed.

"But Charlie…" I tried to argue.

"I don't care," he said, lying down and pulling me against him. The cloud cover must have thinned because I could now see his smile in the dim light.

"Jake!" I tried slapping lightly at his chest, but he caught my wrist easily.

"He sleeps like the dead, Bells," he laughed. "And you know as well as I do that half the floorboards in that hallway creak, so it's not like I can't hear him coming."

He had a point. Charlie was pretty observant, but as long as he was snoring, we were probably in the clear. Still, I felt a little guilty. Charlie was pretty understanding as far as dads went, and he trusted me. Yet here I was, lying with my half-dressed boyfriend in my bed. But we were just talking. Even if Charlie wouldn't have approved of the way it looked, we weren't doing anything wrong, right? I pushed the guilt aside and tried to focus on something else---like where Jake had been all night.

"So what are you doing here? And where were you tonight?" I asked.

"I just... needed to be with you," he said, his breath warm in my hair. "And sorry about earlier. Sam called us together, and I didn't know it was going to take so long."

"Did something happen?" I asked.

"You could say that," he sighed.

He reached over to turn off the lamp and then pulled the covers over me.

"You cold?" he asked.

"No." Actually, with the window still open, I was a little cold, but I knew with Jake next to me that wouldn't last long. "What happened?" I asked.

"We're growing, Bells."

Well, I _knew_ that. I'd only known Jake for a little over a year, and I was pretty sure he'd grown about a foot in that time. Not to mention all the muscle…not that I minded. But Jake and the rest of the pack had appeared to be proud of their new physiques. So why did he sound so worried? Unless…he wasn't going to end up ten feet tall or something…was he? "Is that bad?" I asked, hoping he'd answer all my silent questions as well.

"It's just sad, I guess," he said. "I thought Seth was young, but Collin…and probably Brady pretty soon."

"You mean the pack is growing?" I asked.

"Yeah, we took in a new one tonight. Collin…he's just…" he drifted off.

I had a million questions. Would they all become werewolves? Why did this Collin kid phase so young? How many more were there that I didn't know about? But something in the tone of his voice, something wistful and lost told me not to interrupt, that he just needed to talk. As the silence stretched on, my curiosity grew. He felt…distant, and I wondered what he was thinking. But I remained patient, waiting while he worked through whatever was on his mind, until he could put it into words.

"He's only thirteen," he sighed. "His mom thinks he's possessed or something. And he can't go home. What if he hurts her? Or his little sister? She's only seven." Now he was just thinking out loud. "I mean, I was lucky. We all heard the legends, but Dad _knew_ about them. He knew what Sam was, what Embry became. And I was scared shitless when it happened, but Dad just stayed with me. This poor kid…his mom just turned on him." His hand was rubbing up and down my arm as if he was trying to make _me_ feel better.

I felt like I was supposed to respond, but I couldn't find the right words. "I…I don't know what I'm supposed to say." It was the truth. What do you say to something like that? I'd have been lying if I said it would all work out because I honestly had no idea.

"Sorry," he sighed. "You shouldn't have to deal with all this."

"Jake---"

"No, Bells. You shouldn't have to worry about bloodsuckers stalking you and kids turning into wolves and stupid legends actually being true and all this…shit."

I'd never seen Jake like this. It's not that I thought he was somehow immune to it. It's just that he usually found something to laugh about. If he'd been cracking bad jokes, or even so mad that he shook I wouldn't have been surprised. But I'd never seen him so…sad. "It's okay, Jake," I said.

"No it's not. You deserve better than this. Better than _me_."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Why would you…? No! You're _good_ for me, Jacob. You're just…everything."

"Don't you see? I can't _be_ everything for you, Bells. There's a whole world out there for you. I'm just…stuck here, stuck being this…this _thing."_

I pushed myself away from him and sat up so fast I nearly tumbled off the bed. I'd heard this song before, the one about not being good enough, not being _human_ enough. It was like talking to Edward all over again. The self-loathing was only the beginning. Next he would tell me that I wasn't safe with him, that I couldn't trust him not to hurt me. He'd be blaming himself for my clumsiness and bad luck and…I didn't even hear the slap.

He was sitting up staring at me with a look of shock on his face, and my hand hurt like hell. Had I actually slapped him?

"Oh my God. I…Jacob, I'm sorry," I said, tears stinging my eyes.

He wrapped his arms around me and crushed me against his chest. He was holding me so tight I could barely breathe, and I didn't even care.

What was _wrong _with me? How could I have hit him? He was talking to me, telling me how he felt, letting me see that he was upset, and my reaction was to hit him. I tried talking, but my words were strangled, and I just gave up, sobbing against his chest.

His hand was rubbing up and down my back in long warm circles. Each breath I took filled my lungs with his earthen scent, slowly calming me and causing me to question my reaction even more.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"I'm not," he said.

"But---"

"Shhhh. It's okay, honey." Was he _laughing_? "I think I needed that."

I pulled back and looked at him, confused.

"I was getting way too down on myself," he said.

"But…did I hurt you?" I asked. I couldn't see any marks on his face, but I could still feel it in my hand.

He threw his head back and laughed, his whole body shaking as he tried not to be too loud. "No," he said, almost gasping from laughter. "I didn't even feel it. You might wanna use a baseball bat next time, though. _That_ might sting a little." His expression suddenly turned serious and he lifted my hand, turning it over carefully. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Yes. But my throbbing hand was the least of my pain. I'd actually hit Jacob. _Really_ hit him. "It's not bad," I said, watching as he raised my hand to his lips. And then the pain was forgotten. He touched his warm lips to my palm, grazing his mouth along my hand, over my wrist, to the bend of my arm. It was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen, and yet my eyes fluttered shut, unable to continue watching his lips ascend.

"Better?" he asked, his mouth suddenly at my ear.

I tried to hide my shiver with a nod.

"Do you wanna sleep now?"

No. Sleep was the very last thing on my mind at the moment. "We can talk some more," I offered, my mind scrambling for a topic. "Why were you gone so long tonight?"

He lay back down and patted the side of his chest for me to join him. I curled up at his side and he wrapped his arm around me, tugging me even closer.

"We had to decide what to do with Collin. Even if his mom would let him, he can't go home."

"Where will he stay?" I asked.

"My house for now. It's not safe for anyone outside the pack to be around him until we're sure he can control it. Sam is afraid it might happen again."

"Like with Emily?" I asked, instantly picturing her marred smile.

"Yeah."

"What about Rachel?" I asked. It's not like she could defend herself against a werewolf any better than Emily had. "And your dad?"

"Rachel's gonna stay at Leah's. She's gonna be pissed, too," he laughed. "There's no way Sue's gonna let Paul stay over. And Dad can handle Collin. He's already dealt with it once."

"So I guess I won't be coming over, either," I said, a little disappointed, even if I did understand why staying away was necessary. And Jacob was always welcome at my house, but it was a little uncomfortable with Charlie watching us as closely as I knew he would be.

"Yeah, you can," he said. "Just not when Collin's there. He'll probably be with Sam most of the time. He really just needs a place to sleep until he's got better control and his mom comes around."

"Is that normal? You know, for the parents to…well…freak out?" I felt silly the second I asked. Of course they would freak out. Who wouldn't?

He laughed wryly. "If they find out, then yeah, I guess. But they don't always know."

"How is that even possible?" I realized that the pack was a secret, but it didn't make sense to me that those closest to the wolves would remain ignorant.

"It's not something we advertise, Bells. And sometimes it's just easier not to say anything. Dad knows. I think Grace suspects something, but no one will tell her---"

"Grace?" I asked. He'd never mentioned her before.

"Embry's mom," he explained. "And Sue doesn't have a clue. She just thinks her kids are delinquents," he laughed.

Jake had always been pretty open with me about the pack---well, after I'd figured out what he was. But usually I just found out things when I needed to know them. I'd never really asked him for all the little details. There was definitely a lot more to who they were than just hunting vampires. And my curiosity wasn't waning. "So who's Brady?" I asked.

"He's next. Probably any day now. His dad's an elder, though, so his parents know what's coming. Sam's already been over there a lot."

"Is he gonna stay at your house, too?" I knew it was selfish, but I really hoped not.

"Probably not. I think his mom's gonna go visit family, and his dad's gonna stay home with him.

"So…I thought you guys only…you know, changed, if there were vampires around."

"Yeah, but they'd already started the change before last night. Once it starts, you can't stop it, even if the leeches are gone."

Neither of us said anything for several minutes. His finger traced patterns on the back of my neck as I listened to his heartbeat vibrating under his chest. The silence was calming, a rest from all the craziness around us.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you get mad?"

"Ah…I just…" Crap. I didn't want to lie to him. But the truth probably wasn't something he wanted to hear. Then again, the last time we'd talked about Edward, he'd been really sweet about it. Did I want to chance that?

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," he said softly.

'It's just…" I wasn't sure how to say it. I didn't want him to think I was comparing him to Edward, even though in a way I was. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Edward used to say things like that." I waited for a reaction, but none came. So I opened my eyes and continued. "He was always telling me he wasn't good for me, he was dangerous, I should want something…some_one_ human. But he didn't mean it. He didn't mean any of it. He just left and forgot about me."

"I'm not him."

"I know that. It just---"

"Look at me."

I turned my face up to see him watching me in the dark.

"I _don't_ deserve you. You _do_ deserve better. And I hope you never realize that because I'm not letting you go. I love you too much."

He always knew just what to say, and I couldn't stop my smile. "I love you, too," I said, nuzzling my face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Last night?" I asked. He wasn't seriously apologizing for Victoria, was he?

"I should have just talked to you," he explained.

Oh. That.

"Will you stop apologizing? We're fine, Jake."

"I know, but I still…I just need you to know…I know I handled it all wrong," he said.

"Well…I guess I make it hard for you," I admitted. "I know I get...uncomfortable about certain things."

"You mean sex," he said, and I was sure there was a smirk behind those words.

"Ah...yeah...like I was saying," I stammered, playfully elbowing him. "But that doesn't mean we can't talk about...whatever."

"When you stop calling it 'whatever' maybe we'll do that," he laughed.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. But...you _really _thought that's what I was mad about?"

"Well, no...Okay, maybe a little," I admitted.

He let out a melodramatic gasp, overplaying his innocence.

"I didn't _want_ to think that!" I insisted. "I just...didn't know what to think. I mean...you're not...you know, ready for that, are you?" I immediately regretted asking.

Quite honestly, I had no idea how I wanted him to respond to that. I _wanted_ him. There wasn't any doubt about that. But I also thought it was too soon. We'd only been together for a couple of weeks, and I was so afraid of rushing into things. It wasn't sex I was uncomfortable about. It was putting too much trust in someone again that was the problem. But I should have known he'd have the perfect answer.

"Not until you are."

"Okay then," I said, instantly relieved. "Can we change the subject now?"

Laughter ripped through his chest. "Yeah. So what can you tell me about Jessica?"

The more we talked, the more I realized Jessica simply defied explanation. She was nice and rude and friendly and annoying all wrapped up together. She was convinced that Embry was her boyfriend now, a development anyone that knew her would have seen coming. To explain her stalker-ish behavior, Embry had gone so far as to tell the pack that he'd told her she could drop by some time. None of them believed him, of course, and the second he phased, they all knew the truth.

According to Jacob, Jessica had taken Embry to her house, where he'd been subjected to not only her attention, but also her mother's. When he'd finally convinced her that he needed to leave, she ignored his demands to go to La Push, and instead dragged him to a florist to look at corsage designs. Before he realized what was happening, Jessica was telling him what color her prom dress was, what time to pick her up, and which after-party they were expected to attend. Embry barely got away from Jessica in time to meet with the pack, and then he'd holed up in Jake's garage and refused to leave.

"So why haven't you mentioned your prom?" Jacob asked.

"Oh...no...I can't...just no," I sputtered.

"Any particular reason?" he asked.

"C'mon, Jacob. You know me. I haven't even mastered walking yet. We'd have to have a trauma unit on standby if I tried dancing. Besides, I don't see what the big deal is. "

"The big deal is that it's supposed to be all ...I don't know...romantic or something. What kind of girl doesn't want to go to her prom? You know they'd all see you with me and be jealous."

"Whatever!" I laughed. "Are you saying you can't be romantic unless there's cheap streamers and bad music?"

"I don't know...what do you think?" he asked, his voice suddenly lower as he turned, pressing me onto my back as he hovered over me.

I didn't have a chance to answer.

His nose grazed up my neck, just below my jaw, and behind my ear where he placed a single soft kiss before dragging his tongue to my collarbone. His body pressed gently against me, and I shifted as his leg slipped between mine. He was getting too good at this. Vampires, werewolves, snoring fathers…all forgotten. The brief thoughts flitting through my mind were only of Jacob.

His lips finally landed softly against mine, his tongue darting out teasingly as his hand moved down my shoulder, over my side, across my stomach trailing invisible sparks in its wake. I could feel each muscle in his back twitch and roll beneath my hands, and my brain just fizzled. His hands, my hands, our lips…the sensations were too much to think straight.

His lips moved down to my neck as his fingertips brushed the waistband of my sweats, and I gulped in a deep breath, brought suddenly back into the reality of the moment and trying to figure out just how to slow this down. But before I could string together the right words, it moved to my hip, ghosted over my side, and slid around my back.

"Is this okay?" he breathed into my neck, his hand slowly inching downward over my rear.

I nodded, not even realizing he couldn't exactly see that, and after a second he tensed and raised his head to look at me.

"Bells?" His eyes were filled with worry.

"It's…fine…good," I stammered. I didn't even know what I wanted, but whatever it was, I didn't want it to stop just yet.

He didn't look convinced, so I reached my hand up around his neck and pulled his mouth down to mine, nipping at his bottom lip. He responded with a low groan and I immediately felt myself being lifted. I choked back what was sure to be a very unattractive squeak as my hips were raised and pressed into his thigh.

_We need to stop._ I rolled my hips against him. _This is Charlie's house. _I could feel him pressed hard against my leg. _This is too much. _My hands roamed down the lines of his chest, over the thin trail of hair that began at his waist, and then slipped around his back, gripping the flexing muscles there, urging him closer. Heat radiated from his skin, seeping through my clothes and enveloping my body in his warmth. With no conscious thought, I lifted my free leg and wrapped it around his, anchoring myself against him as he gently rocked against me. Our kissing was more urgent, crushing and gasping and---

"Bells…" his voice was rough and shaky as he lifted up and rolled over onto his back, his arm rising to rest against his forehead, over his eyes.

I knew I shouldn't have been disappointed, that I should have been relieved, but at that moment I felt more conflicted than I would have thought possible. "Sorry," I said.

He laughed and pulled me closer again. "Don't ever apologize for that."

* * *


	56. Overwrought: Jacob's POV

* * *

**So it sounds like we need to talk about bipolar disorder. An increasing number of my readers have been leaving reviews in which they call Rachel bipolar, and I'd like that to stop.**

**Bipolar disorder is a debilitating mental illness. Applying that diagnosis to Rachel is wrong on two levels. First, her "symptoms" point more toward borderline personality disorder, not bipolar. Second, casual use of the term trivializes the suffering experienced by those of us who have to live with this illness.**

**I've never hidden the fact that I'm bipolar. I'm open about it, I joke about it, and I just try to deal with it. I was actually pretty excited when I was properly diagnosed because I finally had an explanation for the course my life had taken. It explained the inability to function, the long periods of sleeping & eating disruption, the impaired judgment, reckless behavior, substance abuse, relationship problems, and general hell I've been through. Bipolar disorder has compromised my physical health, destroyed my marriage, and taken my mother from me.**

**Fanfiction is my escape. It's my chance hide away in a world where medication is not needed, where happy endings are possible, where I can actually "leave" the seclusion of my apartment and experience some degree of normalcy. The last thing I would do is inflict this illness on another person, fictional or real.**

**I know that no one meant any harm, and I'm not looking for apologies or sympathy. I'd really like to just leave it at that and go back to Forks. I'm pretty sure a shirtless Jake is waiting for me there.**

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: OVERWROUGHT**  
**(Jacob's POV)**

Emily was standing in the doorway when we got to Sam's. She pointed to the side of the house, and we rounded the corner to find the rest of the pack waiting.

"You could have just called," Paul said.

"Mom wouldn't let us use the phone," Collin mumbled.

Collin was almost as big as the rest of us, but his eyes were those of a scared little boy. He stood between Sam and Jared, staring at the ground and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and he looked down, almost like he was ashamed or something.

"She'll come around, man," Jared said, patting him on the back.

There was no need for introductions. We'd all seen Collin around before, even if he had been a little young for any of us to have spent much time with him. But Sam pointed everyone out to him anyway, and he just nodded quietly as we were each introduced. His eyes brightened a little when Seth stepped up, probably because they were so close in age.

Sam went over the basics---patrol assignments, staying out of sight when phased, trying to stay calm so he wouldn't phase uncontrollably. Seth surprised us all by volunteering to pair up with Collin on patrol, but Sam vetoed that, saying Seth was still too green to take on that responsibility. He did, however, let Seth and Embry take Collin out on a run, trusting that they would keep him out of trouble.

It felt like they were gone for hours, and I was getting impatient. It was getting late, and I wasn't even sure Bella would still be at my house. The thought of not getting to kiss her goodnight was almost as bad as knowing that wherever she was, no one was there to protect her.

"Hey, Sam? Is it okay if I take off? I need to look out for Bells," I said.

"She's fine, Jake," he said. "No one picked up any trails today."

"But---" I started to argue.

"We're not done yet," he said, cutting me off.

There wasn't really any reason for me to stay. So what if we had a new pack member? I already knew the drill. Anything Sam had to say I could pick from his mind later. He was just flexing his muscle, and I wasn't in the mood for it. I let my irritation show, but Sam didn't care.

"We need to make arrangements for Rachel," Sam said.

"Send her to Paul's," I replied. It's not like I cared where she went.

"Already tried that," Paul grumbled. "Billy's not going for it."

To everyone's shock, Leah suggested Rachel stay with her. Sue would probably be thrilled. She didn't know what we all were yet, but she was sure there was something wrong with her daughter spending all her time with us. She'd probably think a girl staying over was a positive sign. I wondered what she would think when she took her place on the tribal council and learned the truth.

"You'll have to keep Bella away when Collin's there," Sam told me.

"I know," I said, rolling my eyes. That wasn't news to me either.

"Aw, don't look so disappointed, Jake," Paul sneered. "It's not like she's putting out."

All eyes were on me as I turned toward Paul, snarling and dangerously close to phasing.

"What?" he asked, acting like he hadn't just crossed a line.

"That's none of your business," I growled.

"Oh, like it's a secret you can't get her to spread---"

I was phased before he could finish. Sam was nearly as quick, and just in time to get between us, but Paul was already phasing, and as soon as Paul snarled, Sam stepped aside.

'_What's the problem, Jake? She still in love with the leech?' _Paul taunted.

And that would be why no one got along with Paul for very long. He was an arrogant jackass, and on the rare occasion that he could control his own temper, he was just provoking everyone else. I couldn't even think clearly. My thoughts were nothing but rage. No words, no intentions, just rage. We collided in mid-air, slamming against each other as he twisted, trying to avoid my teeth. I was going to kill him.

He threw himself backward, pushing off my body, but I was ready, pitching forward and ready to attack again. The second I touched down I sprung at him, clawing into his chest and sinking my teeth into his shoulder. Paul's thoughts went from arrogant laughter to fear and pain, and I tasted blood.

'_ENOUGH!'_

I hadn't even realized Sam was still with us, and his command dropped us to the ground. I phased back instantly, glaring as Paul clumsily rushed to keep up with me. He'd never be as fast as I was.

"Go see Emily," Sam told Paul. "And _you_," he said sharply, turning to me.

I was shaking, my hands clenched in fists. I didn't care what he said. Nothing could convince me Paul hadn't asked for it. I simply raised an eyebrow.

"Go."

I hesitated. He wasn't going to tell me how wrong I'd been, how I shouldn't attack my brother, how Paul had just been kidding?

Sam stepped forward. "Go check on Bella," he sighed.

* * *

I doubted there was any point, but I checked my house first. Sure enough, Bella's truck was gone. I just hoped she wasn't mad at me for disappearing like that. We hadn't exactly had the best day.

It only took me a few minutes to get to her house, and that wasn't nearly long enough to improve my mood. I still wanted to kill Paul. What business was it of his whether or not Bella and I were sleeping together? Just because my sister gave it up the first night didn't mean Bella was like that. Sure, it got a little painful at times, but nothing I couldn't handle. As long as she was happy, as long as she was with me, I really didn't care how slow she wanted to take things. Hell, I'd wait until our wedding night if that's what she wanted. Okay, maybe I wouldn't be telling her _that_anytime soon. Planning a honeymoon was definitely rushing things.

The night was perfectly still and cloudy enough that there was almost no moonlight. It was so dark that I phased right in the middle of her backyard. Even if someone had been looking out the window, they wouldn't have seen me. I tried the door, but of course Charlie had locked it. It looked like I was stuck going through her window again.

I made quick work of climbing the tree and stretched out on a branch to knock on her window when I was stopped short at the sight of her. Her dark hair fanned out across her pillow and one arm was flung out, hanging off the side of the mattress. The covers had been kicked down and twisted around her legs. One tiny foot peeked out at the bottom. Even in sweatpants she was beautiful.

The next thing I knew I was sprawled out on the ground, a broken branch pinned beneath me. I looked around quickly, stupidly worrying that someone might have seen. But there wasn't anyone else lurking in her yard, and the lights in the house remained off.

I brushed myself off and climbed back up. Bella had turned on her side, facing away from me, and covered herself back up. I leaned out more carefully this time and knocked on the window. She sat straight up and looked around, her gaze quickly turning to me. I waved at her to let me in, but she just kept staring. I knocked again and was surprised to see her eyes grow wide and her lips part. She drew her hand to her chest. She looked terrified.

"Bella!" I called more loudly than I wanted to.

"Jake?" I heard her whisper.

Bella padded over and tried to open the window, but it was stuck. She managed to pull it up a little, but then she just shrugged. I reached out, yanked it up, and jumped through.

For a second, I was disappointed. Even though I already knew what she was wearing, in my mind I'd pictured her in the shirt I'd given her. It was my favorite mental image…until now.

How did she make the most innocent things look so damn sexy? Her plain gray sweatpants hung low on her hips, her soft stomach peeking out below the thin white wifebeater tank. Too thin. Thin enough that I could see the pink blush of her nipples through it. Damn. Now I had another perfect detail to add to my fantasies, probably the last thing I needed.

"Are you planning on making this a habit?" she asked.

Oh, that's right. I'd said something about oiling the window. "Definitely," I said, trying not to stare.

It wasn't working, so I just pulled her into a hug. That didn't help any either. Cold air swirled in through the open window, and what I couldn't see, I could now feel. I needed to pull away, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I held her close, feeling her breath against my skin and wishing I didn't feel like such a perv.

"Okay, sleepy, let's get you into bed," I said when she yawned.

"Are you leaving?" she asked.

As if I could. "Not a chance."

It took me a minute to convince her that Charlie wasn't a problem, but in the end she really didn't put up much of an argument. Besides, I had the feeling Charlie knew more than he let on. Sure, I'd be staring down the end of his gun if he _knew _I was here, but he wasn't stupid either. I mean, the man let his daughter spend the night at my house. Either he _really _trusted us, or he just didn't want to know.

"So what are you doing here?" she asked. "And where were you tonight?"

"I just... needed to be with you," I said, not knowing exactly how to explain it. I wasn't obsessed or anything. I just hated being away from her. I worried about her. I _needed_ her. She was…she was my whole world. "And sorry about earlier," I said. "Sam called us together, and I didn't know it was going to take so long."

"Did something happen?"

Yeah, something had definitely happened. "You could say that," I admitted.

I really didn't want to tell her about Paul. It would probably just upset her, and it's not like knowing would do anything about the fact that he was an asshole. I turned off the lamp, and reached over to pull the sheet up over her shoulder before she could catch me staring at her chest.

"You cold?" I asked, trying to explain my sudden need to cover her up.

"No. What happened?"

I couldn't tell her our lack of a sex life was tonight's entertainment, but I could at least tell her about Collin and Brady. Only the more I talked, the more I realized how much it bothered me.

None of us had asked for this. We'd sat around for years listening to the stories and legends, always thinking it was so cool and even playing like we were wolves when we were little. But none of us really wanted it to come true. It had messed up Sam's life, driven Leah pretty much crazy, and even killed Harry. That wasn't a detail I wanted to share with Bella, either. She didn't need to know his heart attack happened because his daughter phased.

And now it was happening to kids. How the hell was a thirteen year old supposed to handle the responsibility of being in the pack? If it kept happening, we wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. Half the rez was whispering about how big we'd all gotten. And Forks was beginning to notice, too.

No, it wasn't cool at all. It was like we were all cursed, and I just wondered what good thing it was going to tear apart next.

"I…I don't know what I'm supposed to say," she whispered when I stopped.

"Sorry. You shouldn't have to deal with all this."

"Jake---"

"No, Bells. You shouldn't have to worry about bloodsuckers stalking you and kids turning into wolves and stupid legends actually being true and all this…shit."

"It's okay, Jake," she said. She was always so damned understanding.

"No it's not. You deserve better than this. Better than _me_."

"Why would you…? No! You're _good_ for me, Jacob. You're just…everything."

And that was the problem. Bella was smart. She could go place, do things, have everything that life had to offer. She'd be going to college soon, and no matter where that was, it wouldn't be close enough to the rez. Me…I was going to be in La Push forever.

"Don't you see? I can't _be_ everything for you, Bells. There's a whole world out there for you. I'm just…stuck here, stuck being this…this _thing."_

I saw it rather than felt it. Her hand came flying at my face. One second we were lying there, and the next, we were both sitting up. She was staring at me, horrified.

"Oh my God. I…Jacob, I'm sorry," she whispered shakily.

I grabbed her and pulled her against me, half lifting her into my lap. _What the hell just happened?_

She made a noise, like she was trying to say something, but she just sounded like a wounded animal, and then her whole body melted against me as she cried. I had no idea what to do, so I just held her. Whatever was going on, it was more than just Bella getting mad about something. She wasn't the kind of person that just hit someone, and yet she'd just slapped me. Granted, I didn't even feel it, but still…

"I'm so sorry," she finally said.

"I'm not," I told her.

"But---"

"Shhhh. It's okay, honey," I chuckled. "I think I needed that." And I did need that. I couldn't afford to get all emo about the one thing that let me protect her. Yeah, I didn't relish being a werewolf, but she needed me to be. Even if it didn't fit into some normal kind of life plan, this was what I was, and I couldn't change that. "I was getting way too down on myself," I told her.

"But…did I hurt you?" she asked.

I really shouldn't have laughed. The look on her face was just plain tortured, but the question was too funny. Bella could have slapped me a hundred times, and I wouldn't have felt a thing. "No. I didn't even feel it," I said. "You might wanna use a baseball bat next time, though. _That_ might sting a little."

A little of the pain faded from her eyes, and it suddenly dawned on me. Just because I was practically unbreakable didn't mean she wasn't. I picked up her hand, turning it over and looking for damage. Her palm was bright red, but other than that it seemed fine. "Did you hurt yourself?" I asked.

"It's not bad," she said.

Liar. Even if nothing was broken or bleeding, I could tell it stung. And worse was the look of shame still on her face. So I kissed her hand, brushing my lips over her palm, across her wrist, up her arm. I kissed a trail from her hand to her shoulder, hearing her soft sigh, feeling her relax again.

"Better?" I asked when I reached her neck.

She nodded weakly.

"Do you wanna sleep now?" I asked.

"We can talk some more," she said, trying to sound happier. "Why were you gone so long tonight?"

I leaned back against the pillow and waited for her to join me. She curled one arm against her side and stretched the other across my chest. Her head rested against my shoulder and she slung one leg over mine. She fit perfectly.

"We had to decide what to do with Collin," I told her. "Even if his mom would let him, he can't go home."

"Where will he stay?"

Bella had a million questions, and I realized she didn't actually know that much about how the pack worked. Sure, she knew what we were and _why_ we were. But other than what we did to protect her, she didn't know much of anything. And she cared.

She cared about what would happen to Collin and Brady, where Rachel would go, how safe Dad would be. She cared about all the little day-to-day details that I'd never thought to share with her before. And I loved her even more for that. In fact, I deserved to be slapped, probably a thousand more times, just for not realizing how accepting she was of everything…of _me_. If Bella could handle all the craziness that I came with, there was no reason I couldn't. But I did want to know what that slap was for. Something had struck a nerve that I didn't know existed.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you get mad?"

"Ah…I just…" she trailed off. I felt her tense up, and she tucked her face in toward me, like she was hiding or something.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," I told her, trying to sound reassuring. In reality, I was just bracing myself for the worst. It had to be something _really _bad to have brought her to violence.

'It's just…" she trailed off again. I felt her tense, and tried desperately to keep my own body relaxed as she drew in a deep breath. "Edward used to say things like that," she said.

Okay, that wasn't so bad. The bloodsucker probably said all kinds of things, but in the end he'd left her lost and broken in the woods. As long as she didn't think I would do the same thing, we were good.

"He was always telling me he wasn't good for me, he was dangerous, I should want something…some_one_ human. But he didn't mean it. He didn't mean any of it. He just left and forgot about me."

Dammit. She was afraid of that. The childish part of me was pissed. How could she even think I was like him? We'd been over this before. I loved her. I needed her. I wasn't capable of leaving her. "I'm not him," I said.

"I know that. It just---"

"Look at me," I said. I needed to see her eyes. I needed to see if she really doubted me or if she was just scared. Scared I could handle. And scared is what I saw in her eyes.

"I _don't_ deserve you," I said. "You _do_ deserve better. And I hope you never realize that because I'm not letting you go. I love you too much."

If she didn't believe that, there was nothing more I could say to convince her. But then she smiled and said she loved me. And as long as we were talking about serious things…

"I'm sorry about last night," I said. I knew I'd already apologized when it happened, but I just needed her to know, _really know,_ that we could talk about anything, that I'd do better, too.

"Last night?"

"I should have just talked to you," I said.

"Will you stop apologizing? We're fine, Jake."

"I know, but I still…I just need you to know…I know I handled it all wrong," I said. I still felt bad about it, shutting her out like that. I could only imagine how she must have felt, lying all alone in my room and wondering why I wouldn't even look at her.

"Well…I guess I make it hard for you. I know I get...uncomfortable about certain things."

"You mean sex," I said. I couldn't help that I found it funny that she wouldn't even say the word.

"Ah...yeah...like I was saying," she laughed. "But that doesn't mean we can't talk about...whatever."

"When you stop calling it 'whatever' maybe we'll do that," I teased.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. But...you _really _thought that's what I was mad about?" I guess I was still stuck on that.

"Well, no...Okay, maybe a little," she admitted.

I drew in a big breath, like I couldn't believe she was saying that, as I tried not to laugh.

"I didn't _want_ to think that! I just...didn't know what to think. I mean...you're not...you know, ready for that, are you?"

What kind of trick question was that? Of course I was ready for sex. I'd been ready for it since that summer when I was twelve and Naomi Whistler 'forgot' to wear a bra, giving Quil, Embry, and I a new purpose in life. It was the only reason I'd even talked to girls before I got to know Bella. I was a guy. When _wasn't_ I ready?

"Not until you are," I said. And surprisingly, it was the truth. There was no one else but Bella now, and for the first time in my life, I was in no hurry.

"Okay then. Can we change the subject now?" she laughed nervously.

She filled me in on how Jessica used to be obsessed with Newton, and I told her all about Embry's day from hell. After all the seriousness, it was good to laugh about something. It sounded like Embry was going to the Forks High prom whether he liked it or not. Bella, on the other hand, begged off, pleading adorable clumsiness. I have to admit I was relieved about that. She would have looked beautiful all dressed up, but she was always beautiful to me.

"Are you saying you can't be romantic unless there's cheap streamers and bad music?"

She just _had _to ask. "I don't know...what do you think?" I asked, rolling over to kiss her.

Why did she have to smell so damn good? Everything about her…the way she looked, the way she smelled, the way she felt… It was all too much to resist. Before I realized what I was doing, I was pinning her down, my knee pressing between her legs.

Her lips parted the second I touched them, and a tiny moan vibrated from her throat. I couldn't stop touching her. Her face, her neck, her arm, her side, her---no, I couldn't touch that. Every breath she took pressed her against me, and I was more aware than ever how thin that little shirt was as it rode up her stomach and offered more of her smooth skin to mine. She was the perfect torture.

I ran my hand down her exposed stomach to her hip, my fingers tracing her hipbone, and she gasped. Those noises…those gasps and moans and whimpers against my lips were going to be my undoing. Her body was exactly the way it was in my dreams. I knew each scar, each curve, each sensitive spot, and I just wanted to know more.

Her body was moving beneath me, rocking gently, forcing her thigh up between my legs. I should have backed away, but I couldn't. My weight was resting less on my arm, and more on her, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. She was kissing me harder now, pushing off the mattress and closer to me, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I slipped my hand behind her back, silently begging her to need me as badly before sliding my hand downward and under her ass. She tensed just a little, but she didn't pull away.

"Is this okay?" I asked.

She had stiffened, not even breathing.

"Bells?" I asked, so afraid I'd gone too far. I lifted up to look at her, probably the stupidest thing I could have done.

There it was again. That look. Heavy eyelids, parted lips, flushed cheeks…lust.

"It's…fine…good," she whispered shakily.

I stared at her for a second. Was I supposed to take her word for it? Was this some kind of test? Was I going to fail? Before I could figure it out, she pulled me down to kiss her, and her teeth pressed into my lip, and I was gone.

I tightened my grip on her, pressing my fingers into her soft skin and lifting her up. She wanted this. I could smell it. I could feel it, hot and needful, crushed against my leg. She made a funny little noise as I pushed myself against her, but she didn't push me away. In fact, she pulled me closer.

Good. I was sick of playing it safe, sick of hiding how much I wanted her, sick of worrying that I was too close, that it was too obvious. And it was obvious now. She was grinding against me and running her hands all over me and breathing all heavy. I thought I was gonna loose it when her fingers inched down my stomach, and I was tempted to lift up just a little, just in case she wanted to…

_Shit! What am I doing? Two weeks ago she freaked out when I touched her boob, and now she's rubbing against me, making me crazy, making want to just rip all her clothes off and---_

She wasn't ready for this. She was just acting on instinct, doing what felt good, not what felt right. Yeah, I wanted her, and it was pretty damned clear she wanted me, but this wasn't right. If we didn't stop, there were only two possibilities. One, we'd go too far and then she'd regret it. Or two, she'd pick the worst possible moment to stop, and I would have the first fatal case of blue balls in medical history.

"Bells…" I kind of grunted, rolling away from her while I still could.

Pain. I was definitely in pain. Lots and lots of pain.

"Sorry," she said quietly.

I had to laugh. Of _course_ she would apologize for the best few minutes of my life. "Don't ever apologize for that."

* * *

**I almost forgot! I wanted to thank everyone who found me & donated. There were a handful of people I wasn't able to reach by email for some reason, so if you didn't hear from me, just know that I'm incredibly grateful.**


	57. Discovered: Bella's POV

**And once again, a companion story was posted a few days ago, this time from Rachel's POV. It's called _Envy_, and you can find it in my profile. If you've been wondering what's up with her, it's all there. **

**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: DISCOVERED  
(Bella's POV)**

The second I opened my eyes, I squeezed them shut again. It seemed the sun had finally decided to peek out from behind the clouds, and it was focusing all its energy on blinding me. At some point in the night I must have gotten too warm because I was now curled up on my side, facing away from Jacob, his body curved around me like we were two pieces of a puzzle, and I snuggled back against him. His arm around me tightened, and my eyes flew right back open as I realized just what position I was in.

_What do I do now?_ First, I reached up and tugged at his wrist, hoping to move the large hand that had wrapped itself around my breast as he slept...at least I _hoped_ it was as he slept. But my movement only caused him to pull me closer and latch on tighter. Not only that, but now I was sure that thing poking at me from behind was not just my imagination. I couldn't even move one of my legs, pinned as it was beneath Jacob's. I lay there for a few minutes and realized I had three options. One, I could pretend to be asleep until after he woke up and removed his hand and…the rest of him. Two, I could pretty much jerk myself away from him, waking him up in the process, probably tumbling off the bed myself, and hoping I was quick enough that he wouldn't realize what he'd been doing. Or three, I could just wake him and deal with the embarrassment. I was seriously considering option number two when I heard a creaking noise from the hallway.

"Breakfast is ready," Charlie said, rapping lightly on the door.

Before I could even think about what was happening, it all happened at once. Apparently it was just enough noise to wrench Jacob out of his sleep. He groaned and let go of me. I took my chance and scooted away quickly, slipping off the end of the bed just as Jacob rolled over and went tumbling off the side. I jumped to my feet, my eyes darting first to the door, then to a very confused Jacob who was sitting on the floor rubbing his eyes, and then back to the door again. All Charlie had to do was turn the knob, and I could look forward to spending the rest of my life in a convent.

"You okay in there?" Charlie asked through the door.

"Yeah," I answered, my voice a little too high. "Just clumsy, Dad. You know me."

"You dressed?" he asked.

"Ah…" I hesitated, looking over at Jacob. He wasn't laughing yet, but he was clearly enjoying this. I shot him a glare before answering. "Yeah, but gimme a second, okay?"

Thank God for Charlie's unnatural fear of panties. He never walked into my room unannounced, and there were plenty of times that he knocked, I told him to come in, and I _still_ had to go open the door for him. He was so afraid of walking in on me changing that even though it was _his_ house, this was very clearly _my_ room. He even avoided the laundry room whenever my clothes were in the wash, and the one time a pair of my underwear had fallen from the laundry basket I was carrying, he'd just stood there, rooted to the floor and averting his eyes until I picked them up. It was a good thing I was living with Renee when I went through puberty. I was pretty sure Charlie never would have survived the feminine products aisle.

"Ok," he said, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Well, I made some breakfast, so why don't you come downstairs?"

"Want me to wait?" Jacob whispered as soon as we heard Charlie stomping back down the stairs.

"Do you mind?" I asked.

I'd hoped Charlie would already be at work when we woke up so Jake could just use the door. I really didn't want to chance anyone seeing a giant Quileute boy climbing out my bedroom window first thing in the morning.

"Nope," Jake said with a grin. "I can just go through all your stuff while you're gone."

* * *

I was sure I'd find something resembling charcoal on a plate when I came downstairs, but it looked like Charlie had the good sense to stick to toast and eggs. I made a plate, sat down across the table from him, and we both began eating in our usual silence. For the first time since I'd moved here, I really wished for conversation. It's not that I wanted to talk about anything in particular. I was just afraid that the smallest movement from Jacob upstairs was going to be magnified into some giant echoing noise down here, and I did not want to spend my morning trying to convince my father not to shoot my boyfriend.

"How's the investigation going?" I asked, trying to act as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

Charlie sighed heavily and then began uncharacteristically rambling. "It doesn't make any sense. No _one_ person could benefit from all those insurance claims. And who would want revenge on a church, school, Newton's, and a bunch of restaurants? Well, maybe that café…it was pretty bad," he laughed. "I just know we're missing something."

Yeah, he was missing the constant presence of mythical creatures, but I certainly couldn't tell him that. "Good luck?" I said questioningly, not really sure what else to say.

"Thanks, kiddo," he said.

He looked a little nervous, and the more he pushed his eggs around his plate, the more I began to wonder if he knew more than he was letting on.

He opened his mouth to speak a few times and then abruptly closed it again, his brows furrowing in frustration. He finally looked directly at me with a determined look in his eye and a weak smile on his lips. My heart raced.

"You're a smart girl, Bells. And I know you're…well, you're pretty much grown now. So I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I'm still gonna worry."

"There's really nothing to worry about, Dad," I assured him.

"Uh-huh," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm your dad, I'm gonna worry. You give any more thought to college?"

This wasn't a good sign. His abrupt change in subject probably meant he was just working up to what he really wanted to say. And since last night he'd said we needed to talk about Jake, I could only wonder how bad this was going to be. Was he going to ground me? Tell me I couldn't see Jake anymore? Give me the most embarrassing and awkward sex talk in the history of father daughter relationships? He was staring at me strangely, still waiting for me to answer.

"Yeah, but I haven't decided for sure," I said.

"Still thinking about Florida?" he asked.

"No, I wanna stay here. I mean, not _here _here, but in Washington. Rachel was talking about Peninsula."

I don't think the relieved look on his face was my imagination, and if I'd had any doubt about staying in Washington, it was gone now. As odd as Charlie and I were together, I didn't think I could just pick up and leave him. He'd probably never say it, but I could tell he felt the same way.

"Billy said she was going to transfer there?" he asked, and I nodded. "They have a good nursing program. That what you wanna do?"

"No, I don't think I could handle all that blood," I said, shuddering a little at the thought. "It's close enough I could live at home, but I think UDub might be better."

"We could drive over and check it out if you want. See what the dorms are like," he said. "You decided what you want to do?"

"I think teaching," I said. "Maybe English?"

I really hadn't given as much thought to it as I should have. I liked reading, but that was recreation for me. I enjoyed writing, but it wasn't something I wanted to do on a schedule. There were just so many courses of study to choose from, and so many that sounded like fun to learn, but not so fun to do for a living.

He didn't just smile. He practically beamed. "You'd be good at it."

The silence set in again, though this time a little lighter. I should have known better.

"I know Jake means a lot to you, Bells but don't base your future on him. If you wanna go to Florida, go. You're young, and you don't need to be holding yourself back for a boy."

For a second I was angry. Did he really think I was that stupid? Yeah, I loved Jake, but I was as aware as anyone that high school relationships don't usually last forever. If I was being honest, though, I was kind of banking on being the exception. At that thought, my anger just faded. I supposed he had a right to be concerned.

"I know dad. I just…I like it here," I tried to explain. "Yeah, Jake's here, but so are you."

I swear my father actually blushed. He looked shocked, flattered, and just plain scared all at once as he awkwardly cleared his throat.

"About last night…" he said, looking almost as uncomfortable as I suddenly felt. "Look, Bells, it's a small town, and people talk."

"I know, Dad. Sorry," I said. "It really wasn't like Mrs. Newton said, though. I'm not…I mean…we haven't…" God, were we really skirting around this subject _again_? "Jake respects me, Dad," I finally said, hoping that was both vague and clear enough for Charlie.

"I know, Bells," he said. "If I thought different, you'd be on a plane to Renee's right now." He paused and looked at me pointedly.

I was suddenly a lot more nervous about the boyfriend hiding in my room.

"That woman's just a crazy old gossip," he continued. "All the same, I'd rather not hear any gossip about you. Just be careful and…" he cleared his throat again, "be safe."

I was blushing like crazy, but I was also very relieved. Charlie knew that I was behaving myself with Jake…mostly.

"And not in my house, okay?"

Okay, _now_ I was blushing. "Dad!" I exclaimed. I didn't even know what I was supposed to say. I just knew that was the last thing I expected from him.

"I believe you, Bells," he said. "I'm just saying…"

"Okay," I mumbled, silently praying he'd just leave for work soon. For once, fate smiled upon me.

"Now I gotta go in to work. See if I can figure out this fire thing," he said, grabbing his keys off the counter.

And with that, the guilt was back. Charlie and his men were working around the clock to solve a crime I knew everything about.

"Oh, and tell Jake to take care of that branch before he leaves," he said.

I heard the door close and the cruiser start up, and I just sat there. I must have sat there for a good five minutes, mouth hanging wide open, after Charlie left. He knew. He knew Jacob spent the night, and he…did _nothing_? Vampires and werewolves I could believe. But this? This simply wasn't possible in any universe.

* * *

**NEW FIC!  
I've posted a new AH/AU fic called _Broken_. Please head over to my profile, check it out and let me know what you think. **

**And thank you to everyone who voted in the Razzle Dazzle Awards. _Breathe Again_ beat out some great fics to be named Best During the Series!  
**


	58. Discovered: Jacob's POV

_**Finally! This whole Fanfiction FAIL thing was driving me nuts!**_

* * *

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: DISCOVERED  
(Jacob's POV)**

_Everything was this odd shade of pink. It reminded me of something, but I couldn't quite put it together. My house was pink. The forest was pink. Even Embry was pink. And then Bella walked in. Suddenly everything turned to gray. Everything, that is, except her lips and…God, two small pink circles peeked through that thin little tank top. _

_She smirked at me and started to raise her shirt. I reached out to stop her, looking around for Embry, but he'd just disappeared. Good thing, too, because there was no way I was letting him see this. Suddenly we were lying in her bed, except it was a lot bigger, and the room was completely dark. I couldn't make out a thing, not even the faint shape of her next to me, but I could feel her, soft and small and perfectly made for my hands. I leaned in to kiss her, and the door opened._

_She was breathing softly, deeply, as if she was…had she already fallen asleep? I lay perfectly still as Charlie stepped into the room, as if that would prevent him from shooting me. He muttered something, stood there for a few seconds, and then left. Bella rolled over, and I slid my hand up from her waist --- _

"Breakfast is ready!"

I rubbed my eyes. What the hell was I doing on the floor?

"You okay in there?" Charlie was asking.

"Yeah, just clumsy, Dad," Bella replied nervously. "You know me." She was standing at the end of the bed and not doing a very good job of concealing her panic.

"You dressed?" he asked.

She looked over at me. Sure, she was dressed, but not in anything Charlie needed to see. In fact, as far as I was concerned, no man should ever see her like that. It wasn't necessarily the clothes. It was just…Bella. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were wide and her hair was a mess. She really was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

Charlie asked her to come down to breakfast, and I watched with some relief as she pulled a t-shirt from her dresser drawer and pulled it on over her tank. Only that made me wonder if she knew how revealing it had been…and if she was _trying_ to tempt me. I got up and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Want me to wait?"I asked.

"Do you mind?"

"Nope. I can just go through all your stuff while you're gone."

She rolled her eyes and gave me a quick kiss, and then she headed downstairs.

* * *

I stayed where I was for a few minutes, waiting to make sure Charlie wasn't headed back up. I wouldn't have put it past him to lure Bella out of the room just so he could storm back in with guns blazing. But apparently that wasn't in his plan. And Bella's powers of deception must have suddenly become…well, actually capable of deceiving because the window for Charlie to figure out she was hiding something seemed to pass.

I listened as he and Bella made small talk about the fire investigation and her plans for college as I snooped around. I wasn't going to read her diary or anything, but I was curious. I'd only been in her room a couple of times, none of which allowed me the opportunity to simply look around. Of course, everything was just as I expected it to be. Fairly neat, lots of books, the first computer ever sold to the public. Well, maybe it wasn't that old, but it was pretty close. She had a decent stereo, but it was unplugged and had a bunch of stuff stacked on top of it. Clearly she wasn't over the music thing yet.

I nosed around a little more, checking out some papers sitting on her desk—all homework—and then I walked over to her dresser. There were a couple of pictures of her with her mom and some guy I assumed was her stepdad, but that was about it.

"_No, I wanna stay here. I mean, not_ here_ here, but in Washington. Rachel was talking about Peninsula," _Bella was saying.

If she went to Peninsula, she could live at home. Or with me. Or probably just at home because Dad wasn't quite that cool about things, and I _knew_ Charlie wasn't. Maybe I'd win the lottery and we could get our own place. Too bad I wasn't old enough to buy a ticket. This age thing was starting to suck.

"_It's close enough I could live at home, but I think UDub might be better."_

What?! That was hours away! Granted, I could probably run there faster than she could drive, but Sam would never go for that, at least not as much as I'd want to be gone.

"_I know Jake means a lot to you, Bells but don't base your future on him. If you wanna go to Florida, go. You're young, and you don't need to be holding yourself back for a boy."_

He thought I was holding her back? What the hell? Hadn't he seen how happy she was with me? How _alive_ she was again? Yeah, I knew she could do better than me. She could probably find someone smarter, someone with money, someone who didn't have actual paws. But that didn't mean I wanted her to. If I wasn't good enough for Bella, I'd _make_ myself good enough for her. Hell, she was the whole reason I was gonna do that online school thing.

The subject changed again. Now they were talking about Newton's mom. I listened in for a second, but it was nothing to worry about, and my attention went back to Bella's room. The top drawer of her dresser was open a crack, and I started to push it closed…but I stopped. I knew I shouldn't actually open it. Looking around at things that were out in the open was one thing, but digging through drawers was another. Only I couldn't help it. I pulled it out slowly, making sure it was quiet, and there they were. Little pieces of cotton and lace.

"_Dad!" _Bella yelled, yanking me out of about a million fantasies at once.

Yeah, I needed to close the drawer before I turned into that creepy guy with the underwear obsession. I pushed it shut and stepped back, my heel catching on a loose floorboard. It didn't trip me up, but I knew it would probably send Bella flying, so I knelt down to take a closer look. The nails appeared to be in place, only they weren't as snugly connected to the joists as the rest of the floor was. And the tiny cracks around the board weren't as filled with years of dust and wax. Without a second thought, I popped it out.

Pictures, a CD, an envelope. Why was Bella hiding stuff in her floor? More importantly, why did she have pictures of the leech? I should have put them back, left them alone, forgotten they were there. But I couldn't.

The pictures were old. At least I hoped they were old. Bella smiling and laughing, standing there with her bloodsucker. I felt sick to my stomach. I tossed them on the bed and opened the envelope. Plane tickets? To Florida? Was that where he was now?

I heard the jingle of keys and the creak of a door opening downstairs.

"_Oh, and tell Jake to take care of that branch before he leaves."_

I had more important things to worry about.

* * *

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	59. Panic: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY: PANIC  
(Bella's POV)  
**  
How did Charlie know? And what exactly did he know? Obviously he didn't know _everything _or he would have come crashing into my room last night. I mean, we weren't really doing anything…kind of…but it would have been enough to send Charlie into a fit. And what did a branch have to do with anything? My mind was going around in circles as I piled our dishes in the sink. I almost failed to notice that there was still enough food left for five more people...or Jake. Wow. Charlie _knew_.

"Bells?"

I jumped, startled by Jacob's sudden presence behind me, and I nearly dropped a plate.

"He knows," I sighed, not even turning around. "Charlie knows you're here."

"I heard," he replied, his voice tight and strained.

Was he just as freaked out by this as I was? I busied myself with making him a plate of food. "I'm not grounded, and you're not in a body bag, so I guess… He said something about a branch?"

"Yeah, your tree kind of broke," Jake laughed.

Why did his laugh sound forced? Did he think I was mad at him? If I was going to be mad at anyone, it would be myself. It was my own fault for letting him in and not wanting him to leave. I was the one who'd broken Charlie's trust. "Broke?" I asked, turning around.

"Don't worry," he said, taking the plate from my hands. "I'll take care of it."

He sat down at the table, eating quietly and barely acknowledging my presence. I would have thought he'd get a good laugh out of the whole situation. To be honest, if it happened to anyone else, I would have laughed, too. Instead, I did a few dishes and watched him eat, but I just felt weird in that strange silence.

"Ummm...," I started. Jake didn't even look up. "I'm just gonna go take a shower. Will you wait?" I asked. I didn't know if he had to patrol, or if Billy would start wondering where he was, but I didn't want him to just leave without saying goodbye.

"Sure," he mumbled through a mouthful of eggs.

I tried to shake off the uneasy feeling that something more was wrong and headed upstairs to the bathroom. I turned the water on, waiting for it to warm up, and checked to make sure my robe was hanging from the hook behind the door. Why couldn't we just communicate like normal people? _Because we're not normal,_ I thought. And what was with Charlie? Obviously he trusted me, and yet I'd sat there, basically hiding Jake from him. Not only was I embarrassed, but I felt really, really stupid. Maybe I just needed to focus on the positive side.

Charlie trusted me. He believed me, and he didn't send a SWAT team in after Jake. That was positive, right? And Jake... When I was missing him terribly, he'd shown up at my window. He'd stopped us before things went too far. And then he'd stayed there, holding me while we slept. I didn't know a lot about relationships, but I knew one thing. It couldn't possibly get any better than what I had with Jake. Of course, his holding me had included a stray hand, but I really couldn't complain about that. He'd been asleep. He probably didn't even realize what he was doing. _God, how embarrassing_,I thought. It was just my luck that second base happened when we were both unconscious.

With Edward I'd always felt a bit rejected. And let's face it, being eclipsed by his insanely gorgeous family didn't exactly do anything for my self esteem either. But all those times he pushed me back, pulled away from me, stopped us from doing anything more than simple kissing...yeah, it got to me. But waking up with Jake, knowing that even in his sleep he wanted me, trusting him not to push me too far…he was healing me without even trying.

I dried off quickly and pulled on my robe, and I dashed back downstairs to see him. The shock of Charlie knowing had worn off, and my mood had improved a little. Maybe his would have too. But he wasn't there. The dishes were done, and everything was put away. He must have gone back upstairs.

I stepped into my room, only to find it empty. Empty, that is, except for something he'd left on my bed. For a fraction of a second, I thought it was some kind of letter or gift, that he'd had to leave suddenly, and he'd left something behind for me. And then my eyes registered what I was seeing, and I froze.

The CD. The CD Edward had given me on my birthday. And the pictures I'd taken. And the plane tickets. They were here, in my room, on my bed. He was back.

"Jake?" I tried to call out, managing only a choked whisper.

Had Jake seen him? They were natural enemies. Jake hated Edward, and Edward probably hated him right back. Were they off somewhere trying to kill each other right now?

No sooner than the thoughts crossed my mind was I running back down the stairs, stumbling in my haste and falling down the last few steps. I picked myself up, not even bothering to check for the scrapes and bruises I would surely be suffering.

"Jake!" I screamed, launching myself out the door and looking frantically around the empty yard. "Jacob, _please!_" I yelled, not even knowing what I was asking for. I just wanted him to be...I wanted them _both_ to be okay.

There was no answer, no sound at all, and the tears flowed as panic rose in my throat, threatening to choke me. "Jacob," I cried, falling down to my knees in the damp grass. I could see it all in my head, like a terrible nightmare come to life. Jacob eating breakfast, Edward coming through my window, Jacob phasing, attacking...

"Bella?"

My head whipped up so fast that the earth swayed a bit before me, and I felt a second of relief as I caught a glimpse of copper skin, black hair, cut off sweats. But it wasn't Jake.

"Are you okay?" Seth asked, looking anywhere but directly at me.

I looked down at myself, only to realize I was standing in my backyard in a short bathrobe. Thankfully, the loosely knotted belt hadn't come undone, but that was really the least of my concerns. I jumped up, nearly falling again in my rush, and I ran to Seth, crashing against him.

"Where's Jacob?" I demanded as he grabbed my arms and pushed me back a comfortable distance.

"With Embry," he shrugged, like it was nothing. His boyish features were marred with confusion. "Why are you bleeding?"

"Huh?" I looked down to see that my knees were indeed scraped up, and I winced as I tried to brush the grass off. My palms were scraped up, too. It didn't matter. I looked back up at Seth. "I need him," I said.

Need. It was such a simple word, and yet it held everything. I needed Jacob to be okay. I needed him to come back. I needed him to not kill Edward and to not be killed _by_ Edward. I needed him to get me through whatever was happening, the way he helped me through everything else.

"Okay," he said, obviously just placating me. "Why don't you go...um...get dressed, and I'll go get him for you, okay?"

He was looking at me like I was crazy, talking to me like I was a child.

"No!" I said stubbornly. "You get him _now!" _I poked him in the chest for good measure, trying uselessly not to cry.

"Okay, but just...go wait inside, okay?" he asked, his eyes pleading with me.

I nodded my head and watched him lope into the woods, but I wasn't going anywhere.

Why now? And why like this? Why would Edward take everything from me and then bring it back? It's not like I needed to be reminded. He haunted me every day, in every little thing I did. He was the reason I barely functioned for months. He was the reason I'd held back so long with Jacob. I knew Edward was cold and cruel, but I never thought he was too cowardly to face me.

I could only hope what Seth said was true, that Jacob was with Embry. Maybe they didn't even know Edward had been here. Maybe they'd just gone for a run or to some pack thing. Maybe I could just hide everything until I knew what it all meant. But before I could take a step, I saw movement behind the trees.

Seth appeared first, looking at me with pity, although I had to admit I probably looked pretty pitiful. And then Embry was there, his own expression mirroring Seth's. It was strange to see him look so serious. Maybe they _had_ seen Edward.

Oh God, what if there _had_ been a fight? What if…? And then Jake stepped forward, his expression a whole myriad of emotions. He was angry and sad and confused and...scared? Had Edward hurt him? Had _he_ hurt Edward?

"Jacob," I breathed, relieved just to see him.

He whispered something to Seth and Embry that I couldn't hear, and they disappeared back into the trees. Jacob crossed the yard to stand in front of me, looking at me strangely.

"What happened to you?" he asked. It wasn't him. It wasn't _my_ Jacob. It was Sam's Jacob. This was bad.

"I...pictures...Edward was...the stairs." My mouth couldn't keep up with my thoughts, and my thoughts couldn't keep up with my hammering heart. I felt dizzy, and I tried to step toward him, to close the unnecessary distance between us, only to feel my traitorous legs give way.

Jacob caught me easily, and the next thing I knew he was carrying me inside. He carried me straight up to the bathroom and planted me on the counter, lifting my leg up to take a closer look at my knee as I ran my hands over his skin, trying to see if he had any scratches or…whatever vampire wounds looked like on werewolves.

"What happened?" he asked again, pushing my hands away.

He wouldn't look me in the eye, and that's how I knew. Something terrible had happened.

"Did you hurt him?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Who?"

"Edward."

He dropped my leg and stepped back, looking at me strangely.

"He was here and---," I started to explain, but no sooner had the words left my mouth than Jacob was gone.

I hopped off the counter, flinching as a stinging pain shot through my knees, and ran after him. When I stepped into my room, I found Jacob standing in the center and…_sniffing_? He glanced at the bed, anger overtaking his expression before he turned to me, and then something in his eyes turned desperate. Before I could say a word I was crushed almost painfully against his chest, his arms wrapping around me like vises.

"Air," I gasped with what little oxygen I had left, only to panic as his grip on me actually tightened. I pushed and struggled against him, finally clawing my nails into his side as I began to feel lightheaded. Without warning he let go, and I stumbled backward, blinking and trying to focus as I frantically tried to re-inflate my lungs.

I must have looked like a fish, my eyes round and my mouth opening and closing repeatedly, unable to process anything that was happening as I gulped in several deep breaths. But all of that was nothing compared to what I was seeing. Jacob's broad shoulders were slumped in defeat, and no inkling of his boyish character remained. He looked tired and broken. The spark in his eyes was replaced by something glistening, something red rimmed and devastating.

"I found them," he said. "I didn't mean to, but the floorboard was loose, and I thought you might trip, so I just wanted to look at it. I didn't mean to. I…"

"Found what?" I asked.

"The stuff under your floor," he said. "Tickets to Florida." He was looking at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

Time seemed to stop as everything began crashing into place. Jacob finding the tickets…his detached manner when he came downstairs… Had they been there all along? Was this just another way Edward had deceived me?

"I thought…I thought he was here and you saw him and…tried to hurt him," I stammered, still turning over the pieces in my head.

I knew immediately I'd chosen the wrong words. Jacob's eyes flashed fire at what probably sounded like single-minded concern for Edward. His body stiffened and recoiled at my words. His expression grew hard, his eyes cold.

Another piece clicked into place. "Tell me that's not why you left," I said, shaking my head as if my own denial would somehow change the answer I knew was coming.

The flash of guilt was quickly hidden behind a blank mask. "I just needed to talk to Embry," he said.

"Without saying a word to me?"

"What was I supposed to think, Bells?" he asked, literally throwing his hands up in the air. "I found a stash of pictures of _him_," he spat, "some CD or something, and plane tickets! I thought you were going to…be with him."

And then I saw it, that insecure, unsure part of Jacob that was usually hidden behind the cockiness and bravado. The part of him that knew I still loved Edward and wondered if he would be, _could _be enough. And I didn't know what to tell him. I needed to sit down, just to think for a minute, but I didn't want to face what was scattered on my bed. Instead I walked across the hall to the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and I sunk down onto the faded rug.

What would I have done if Edward had actually come back? My first instinct was to run after Jacob, but had I done that because I was afraid someone would get hurt or because I truly wanted Jacob? I hugged my knees up to my chest and was immediately sickened by the sight of dried blood.

"Bella?" Jacob called, knocking lightly on the bathroom door.

I didn't answer. I hadn't figured out the answer yet.

"Honey, please open the door. You're hurt. I just want to see if you're okay," he pleaded.

He had a point. As much as I wanted to shut down, I needed to at least clean up, and I probably couldn't stomach it by myself.

"I'll leave, okay? I'll leave once I know you're okay. Just please open the door."

I reached over and turned the lock but didn't get up. I just pulled my robe tightly around my body and stared at his feet.

He knelt beside me, curving one arm beneath my legs and the other around my back, and lifted me back onto the counter. I felt his lips brush across my forehead, and I looked away as he ran some water over a washcloth and started dabbing at the blood on my knees.

"What happened?" he asked once more.

"Stairs."

He didn't ask anything else, and I didn't say any more. I kept my gaze focused on the brown flecks in the countertop as he washed my legs and inspected my palms. The water stung, but he was quick about it and as gentle as he could be. He rinsed the cloth out and draped it over the side of the tub, and then he reached into the cabinet, quickly finding the huge assortment of bandages that were a permanent fixture in my life.

He thought I was leaving him. Maybe he thought I was cheating on him, making arrangement for Edward…or _with _Edward behind his back. I wanted to be angry, but it was impossible. I could only be angry with myself. _ I_ did this. I did this to both of us by getting into a relationship with him when I wasn't over Edward. But _could _I get over Edward? Did it even matter? Edward left me. For some reason he'd left the mementos behind, but I didn't even want to start thinking about that. They were just pieces of something that had broken. He was still gone, and Jacob was here. Jacob was _here_, worrying about me, taking care of me, loving me even when I didn't deserve his devotion. And I _did _love Jacob.

Whatever he had thought, wherever he had gone, he'd come back because I told Seth I needed him. And even when he expected the worst, he'd carried me inside and tried to tend to my wounds. Even when I walked away and shut him out, he didn't leave. Jacob never left me.

He reached over me again, probably putting the box of bandages back in the cabinet, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, touching my cheek to his chest. He froze for a second, and then he dropped the box and pushed my legs to one side before he pulled me close. His breath was warm in my hair, and he sighed heavily before lifting me to stand.

I took one step toward him, and he sunk to his knees, his arms wrapping loosely around my waist to pull me closer, his forehead resting lightly against my chest as he stared at the floor. I couldn't help but run my fingers through his messy hair, and he raised his face to look at me.

I let my legs relax, my body sliding slowly through his arms until my face was even with his. He leaned back on his heels, keeping me pressed to his chest as my knees bent to rest on either side of him, and I settled into his lap, burying my face against his neck.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, apologizing for so much more than I could explain.

* * *

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And to the six million of you who were wondering where I disappeared to...well, my chemically imbalanced brain doesn't always cooperate, and I ended up writing and rewriting this chapter about a dozen times. Now that I'm back on track, we should be back to our regular schedule.

* * *


	60. Panic: Jacob's POV

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY: PANIC  
(Jacob's POV)  
**

Maybe she'd just squirreled everything away so she wouldn't have to look at it. That made sense, right? Rachel had a box of crap from old boyfriends still shoved under her bed. Girls kept all kinds of stuff like that…didn't they? So this was just Bella's version. But there wasn't anything about me in there. We hadn't been together that long, but surely she would have kept _something_. And then there were the tickets.

Florida.

As far away from me as she could get without leaving the country.

Her mom lived in Florida. Maybe she was just going to visit her. But then why did she have _two_ tickets? And why were they hidden under her floor with pictures of the leech? And what was the damned CD about? A bunch of sappy love songs he burned for her?

I just needed to ask her. Then again, I probably didn't want to know. No matter what explanation she had, it was going to cut right through me. I didn't really need to know why she was hiding stuff, or when she was leaving, or why she said she loved me when she was really planning on going back to him the whole time. Knowing why wouldn't change the fact that it was going to kill me.

My stomach was churning, and I felt like I was going to be sick. Maybe I just needed to get rid of it all. No tickets meant she wouldn't be able to leave, right? Rich bastard would probably just buy another pair. Or worse, a private plane. I could put it all back and pretend I didn't know. Then I could just keep her for however long she let me, and let the world end later…after she'd walked away.

It was silent downstairs. I knew I couldn't keep it from her. There was no way I could smile and laugh and just _be_. I couldn't see her and fake like everything was normal. One way or another, it was all going to come crashing down around me. I dropped what was left in my hands on the bed with the pictures and made my way downstairs slowly, every step shoving the knife in deeper. It felt like I was walking to my own execution, and there was no way to avoid it.

She was standing at the sink wiping a dish cloth in slow circles over a perfectly clean plate. Her hair was still a mess, and her feet were bare. I stood there for a moment, watching her, wishing time would just stop. I don't think she even knew I was there.

"Bells?"

She jumped, the plate slipping a little in her hands, but she didn't turn around.

"He knows. Charlie knows you're here," she said quietly.

Like that mattered anymore.

"I heard."

"I'm not grounded, and you're not in a body bag, so I guess… He said something about a branch?"

"Yeah, your tree kind of broke," I said, trying to sound normal. I was second guessing myself, trying to find an excuse to run back upstairs and shove everything back under that floorboard.

"Broke?" she asked, turning to hand me a plate full of food.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

For the first time in…well…_ever_…I didn't have an appetite. I was sure the food was good, but I couldn't taste it. I just swallowed reflexively, half-hoping I'd forget to chew and simply choke to death. Bella watched me for a few minutes while I tried like hell to act normal, and then she went back upstairs to take a shower. I waited, knowing she would see everything still sitting on her bed, knowing she'd probably freak out and yell at me. But what did that really matter now?

Then I heard the water running. What the…? She didn't even care? Didn't she have _anything_ to say to me? Was I just supposed to accept this?

I got up too fast, knocking my chair over, and I shoved the rest of my breakfast down the disposal. I wanted to run upstairs, yank her out of the shower and confront her. I wanted her to tell me it was all a mistake and she wanted me. I wanted her to love me the way I had fooled myself into believing she did.

Bella and I had enough problems, didn't we? When something on the outside wasn't trying to come between us, something on the inside usually was. Only this was the one thing that we wouldn't survive. It completely went against logic, against nature, but I had seen how much she loved him, how much it had beaten her down when he left her. I was an idiot for even thinking I could compare.

I couldn't take it anymore, and I couldn't think straight. Even though I'd told her I would wait, I needed to get out of there.

* * *

I ran. I ran from everything I didn't want to know and everything I wished I could have. Seth had been on patrol nearby, and as soon as he sensed me, he took over standing guard at Bella's. I wanted to tell him not to bother, that she obviously didn't need our help, but I knew that wasn't true. And as badly as I wanted to just get away, I probably wouldn't have gone far if she'd been unprotected. At least with Seth there I could run in peace.

Ha. Peace. That was something we never had together. Sure, an hour or two here or there, but never for long enough to get truly comfortable. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I didn't notice a thing until something slammed into my side. I was knocked off my feet, flying sideways into a tree. The large trunk split right in two on impact, and I let myself collapse next to it.

'_What's with you, man?'_

'_Go away.'_

'_No.'_

'_Dammit, Embry, just leave me alone!'_

'_You have to go back.'_

'_Why? So I can help her pack? So I can give her my blessing and just watch her leave?'_

I didn't have to explain it to him. He could see it all in my head…the way she'd looked last night when she opened the window, the way she'd kissed me like she couldn't get enough, the way she'd panicked when Charlie knocked on her door this morning. I was too upset to put any of it out of my mind. I couldn't block a single thing from him, and his mind was working overtime in response.

A thousand scenarios flitted across my thoughts, all the different ways Embry thought this could go. He pictured her calm, angry, surprised, even laughing. But the one that stood out was Bella crying. His image of her wasn't quite right, not catching the glint of clouded sunlight on her chestnut hair, or the way she wrapped her arms around her middle when she was truly hurting, but he got her eyes right…big and warm and reddened by tears.

'_You didn't even ask her,' _he said.

'_Stay out of my head.'_

'_I wish I could,'_ he replied. _'Just go back, man. What if you're wrong?'_

'_How can I possibly be wrong? I don't even know what the hell it all means!'_

'_Exactly. You don't know shit, and you're running away.'_

'_You're one to talk,' _I said.

'_At least I kn__ew what I was running from, and it's not like I wanted her. You _want_ Bella. You're just running from a bunch of crap that might not mean a damned thing, and you know it.'_

I wanted to tell him to shut up, to mind his own business and leave me the hell alone, but suddenly Seth's mind was with worry, and Bella was screaming for me. Without a second thought, Embry spun and rushed back toward Forks, as I leapt up to match him step for step.

Bella was standing in her yard, and Seth phased back before I could see anything else. I hoped that meant she wasn't in any danger, but I wasn't going to feel any better about it until I saw her for myself. God, I was such an idiot. If Bella was hurt because I was too chicken to face her…

'_Jake!'_

Seth had phased to join us again, and for a second I panicked, worried that he was having to protect Bella on his own. But then I saw her in his thoughts. Bella sobbing and screaming for me, Bella slumping down to the ground, Bella barely dressed and bleeding. What the hell was going on?

'_Something's wrong with her, Jake. I don't know. She's all crazy,'_ Seth said.

'_We're almost there,' _Embry replied.

We were only a mile away when Seth came crashing toward us through the brush.

'_You left her?!' _I was furious.

'_She's…I just didn't know what to do,'_Seth replied.

'_You're _supposed_ to protect her!'_

'_From what? There's nothing there!'_

He played it all again in his mind, hearing her scream and sob, watching her fall, seeing her eyes, wild when she spotted him. She'd run right into him and said she needed me. She _needed _me.

We phased just inside the trees. I could already see Bella standing in her yard, her bare feet probably cold in the damp grass. Her knees were bruised and bleeding, and her shoulders were slumped as she stared at the woods. She was clutching a thin robe around her body and shaking. I started toward her, and Embry grabbed me roughly, yanking me backward. I was ready to hit him when I realized he was holding my pants. I didn't say anything. I just grabbed them and threw them on, took a deep breath, and followed the guys into Bella's yard.

"Jacob," she breathed quietly.

"Give us a minute?" I asked Embry.

"Sure. We'll stay close," he replied. "Talk to her," he added as he disappeared into the forest.

But what was I supposed to say? I walked over to Bella, every step that brought me closer to her only magnifying how broken she looked.

"What happened to you?" I asked, trying to resist the urge to just grab her and never let go. I felt stupid enough still wanting her. I didn't need to show it.

"I...pictures...Edward was...the stairs," she stammered. Her face was too pale, her breathing too shallow. She leaned toward me and then swayed, her bloodied knees buckling beneath her.

Catching her had become a reflex, and I swept her away from the ground and carried her inside.

She hadn't fainted, but she was mumbling and clinging to me. For a moment, I focused only on the feel of her hands around my neck, her body pressed against mine, her face turned into my chest. But then she said his name…_its_ name…and I was drowning in the pain again.

I kicked the bathroom door open, the sweet, fruity scent of Bella still thick in the humid air. I wanted to fill my lungs with it, to hold it inside me forever, but it was torture. I held my breath. I set her down on the counter beside the sink, ignoring everything that tipped over and rolled onto the floor, and I lifted her leg with one hand while holding the bottom of her robe closed with the other.

She ran her hands up my chest, over my shoulders, and down my arms, making it almost impossible for me to keep my distance. I let go of her robe, praying it would just stay closed, and I pushed her hands away. Hopefully it just looked like I was too busy trying to patch her up.

"What happened?" I asked. I couldn't look her in the eye. If I did, I'd just end up on my knees, clinging to her and begging her to stay.

"Did you hurt him?" she whispered shakily.

What was she talking about? "Who?" I asked.

"Edward."

I dropped her leg and took a step back. Did I hurt the leech? A better question would have been just how badly did I _want_ to hurt him. In any case, it told me what I already knew. She knew I discovered her secret, and she was only worried about him.

"He was here and---," she started to say.

I was in her room before she could finish. I knew he hadn't been downstairs. I would have smelled him there. Come to think of it, I hadn't smelled him outside, either. And I couldn't smell him here.

She was standing in the doorway looking at me like I'd lost my mind. I suppose I had because right then and there I went from refusing to beg to wanting to fight for her, even if I knew it was a losing battle. The only thing I was certain of was that I couldn't just let her go.

I didn't know what else to do. I just wrapped my arms around her, lifting her up and holding her against me. She was soft and small and perfect, and I didn't know how I was ever going to let her go. When she was here, touching me, nothing else in the world mattered. But if I let even an inch of space between us, it was going to rip me apart. She said something, I think, but I couldn't listen. Everything I had was wrapped up in the small comfort of holding her close for just one more second.

In my haze I barely felt the pinching pressure against my arms, and it took me a second to realize it was Bella. The tips of her fingers were turning white as she pressed them into my arm, and her nails were denting into my skin. I loosened my hold and heard her gasp, shocking me into letting go completely. She stumbled backward, her eyes wide with fear and confusion, gasping for air, and each breath she took tore into my chest as I realized I'd almost hurt her.

I wanted to go back, back to this morning when I was dreaming of her and holding her while we slept. Back to last night when…was she thinking about him then? Was she wishing it was him she was kissing? It was really over, and I just needed to face it.

"I found them," I told her. "I didn't mean to, but the floorboard was loose, and I thought you might trip, so I just wanted to look at it. I didn't mean to. I…"

"Found what?" she asked.

"The stuff under your floor, tickets to Florida." I couldn't breathe as I waited for her to respond.

"I thought…I thought he was here and you saw him and…tried to hurt him," she said.

That was it. She didn't care that she was killing me. She was only worried about him.

"Tell me that's not why you left," she said.

She stood there, in that thin robe, knees scabbing over and face streaked with tears, and all I could see was the image of her desperate and falling apart in her yard. But I didn't want to feel guilty. I couldn't feel guilty. I couldn't feel anything but the loss. "I just needed to talk to Embry," I said.

"Without saying a word to me?" she asked, accusation in her voice.

Really? _ I_ was the one who'd done something wrong? "What was I supposed to think, Bells? I found a stash of pictures of _him_, some CD or something, and plane tickets. I thought you were going to…be with him."

She quickly looked away, looking at anything but me, and then she turned and walked quickly to the bathroom. I cringed at the sound of the lock turning, but I couldn't stop myself from trying.

I knew better, but I knocked anyway. "Bella?"

Silence.

"Honey, please open the door. You're hurt. I just want to see if you're okay."

And more silence. I could have just pulled the door right off its hinges, and a big part of me wanted to, but I knew that in spite of everything, this had to be on her terms.

"I'll leave, okay? I'll leave once I know you're okay. Just please open the door."

Finally, the locked clicked open, and I pushed in the door to see her huddled up, almost in a ball on the floor. I picked her up carefully, ignoring my need to just take her and run somewhere that that _thing_ could never find us, and I set her on the counter, kissing her once on the forehead more for my own comfort than hers.

The scrapes on her knees weren't too bad once I'd washed the blood away, but I could see bruises starting to form. I still didn't know what happened, but when I asked, she only said "Stairs," and didn't take her eyes off whatever invisible spot she was focused on. If she'd really taken a tumble down the stairs, she was definitely going to be sore. I'd need to remember to get her some aspirin before I left.

She kept her head down while I worked, resting her limp hand in mine as I checked for more cuts. Her knees had taken the worst of it, her hands were a little scratched, and she had a nasty bruise on her shin, but that seemed to be the extent of it. I rinsed out the washcloth and tossed it over the side of the tub, then covered the couple of uglier cuts with some bandages I found in the cabinet.

It looked like I was done, and I needed to leave as I'd promised, but that was really the last thing I wanted to do. I reached to put the bandages away, thinking I could buy a little more time if I picked up the stuff I'd knocked over. And then she leaned into me.

Her arms circled around me and her fingers dug into my back as she pressed her face into my chest. Everything stood still. The box in my hand dropped. And hope flared.

I wanted to pull her closer, but she was wearing that little robe, and as much as I really didn't care what she had on beneath it, I knew I needed to be careful. So I pushed her legs to one side and moved closer to hold her, hoping this wouldn't be the last time. But if it was?

I picked her up and made sure she was steady on her feet, watching for any sign of pain, and stepped back, silently begging God and fate and anything else that could save me to just give me some kind of sign that this wasn't over.

She took a step toward me, and my knees hit the floor. Hope and relief and the worst kind of fear coursed through me all at once, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I had no strength left, so I just held weakly to her, all my hope resting on that one step she'd taken. Her fingers pushed through my hair, and I held my breath as I looked up to read her eyes.

Sorrow. Guilt. Love.

She slid down against me, her eyes never leaving mine until we were face to face, and then she wrapped herself around me and pressed her face into my neck.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her warm breath fanning over my skin.

I hadn't lost her.

* * *


	61. Confessions: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: CONFESSIONS  
(Bella's POV)  
**  
His breathing was steady now, but his heart was still thundering, echoing into the ear I had pressed against his shoulder. It made me even more anxious, but I knew we had to talk. Or at least _I _did.

I sat back just enough to look at him, and it broke my heart all over again. It was all there in his expression: pain, fear, love, hope. The last two, I could deal with, but I needed to do something about the others. But before I could find the right words, he spoke up.

"I need to know everything," he said softly, his eyes pleading with me.

I nodded and lay my head back on his shoulder, taking a deep breath and telling myself that I just needed to say it all as carefully yet honestly as possible, and get it over with. I'd too often made the mistake of thinking all the drama was over when something else was lurking around the corner, just waiting to take us out. So I wasn't going to assume laying out all the facts would do anything to resolve everything, but I had to have faith in Jacob. I had to have faith he would really try to understand. And then we could both try not to overreact this time.

"Carlisle and Esme gave me the tickets for my birthday. It was so Edward and I could go visit my mom." He tensed up the second I said Edward's name, and I pressed my lips to his neck, kissing softly until he relaxed again. "I got a camera, too," I said, "and that CD, and a stereo for my truck"

I paused, not sure if I should tell him what the CD really was, and I knew he could figure out the stereo part. After all, he'd seen its mangled remains. But if secrets I didn't even know about, things that had been hidden away under my floor could cause this kind of pain, I knew I shouldn't purposely keep anything from him. "Edward wrote me a song, and he recorded it on the CD, but then he left and took everything with him," I said in a rush. "At least I thought he did."

Jacob was still silent, still listening, although his grip on me had tightened just a bit. I didn't really know what else to say, so I just started thinking out loud. "It doesn't make any sense, really. Why would he give me a gift like that and then just leave me? And what was the point of hiding it? If he didn't want me to have it, he should have just taken it with him or thrown it away or _something. _Obviously I wasn't supposed to know everything was there. And it's not like I'll ever get the chance to ask him. He made it pretty clear that he could go on just fine without me."

As the words tumbled out, the bitterness seeped in. After all this time, after everything I'd been through with Jacob, after werewolves and Laurent and Victoria and...everything, I was _angry_. I expected the hole in my chest to rip open, raw and throbbing with pain. But it was gone, replaced by sadness wrapped in a slow rage.

"So you haven't talked to him at all?" Jacob asked.

"No. When he left, he _disappeared_. They all did. Edward acted like I would just forget about him, like it should be easy."

"You still love him," Jacob said quietly, It wasn't a question.

I sat back to look at him again, not saying anything for several long seconds. I didn't want to say the wrong thing, and I didn't want to lie. I reached out, running my fingers over his jaw before placing my hands on either side of his face and looking him squarely in the eyes. "I love _you,_" I said.

"And him?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "Maybe? I suppose I'll always love who I _thought_ he was."

Jacob's hold on me loosened, and his eyes closed again. No, I wasn't going to let him shut down now. I leaned in quickly and kissed him. He held himself stiffly, and he barely responded. Not good enough. So I wound my hands around his neck and tried uselessly to pull him to me. When that didn't work, I just pressed into him harder, refusing to give up until he kissed me back or pushed me away. And just as I started to wonder if too much damage had been done, his lips moved, parting just enough that his warm breath washed over my face.

"I love you," I whispered, never removing my lips from his.

And finally he kissed me back. It wasn't sweet or gentle. There was nothing careful about it. But it was everything he was feeling, and I wasn't going to deny him that. His tongue pushed past my lips as his hand wove into my hair, holding me in place as his mouth pressed almost painfully against mine. I ran my hands over his chest, up his neck and to his face again, just holding and touching and waiting for him to know, to _feel_ that everything was going to be okay. And when I offered no resistance, even threw myself into the kiss, I began to feel the desperation slip away from him. His touch grew softer and his body relaxed, and his lips began making their way down my neck. I tried lifting myself up for him, but the pressure on my bandaged knees was too painful, so I just leaned, letting my head fall back. He moved one hand from my hip to my back, tugging at the back of my robe until it slipped just enough to expose my shoulder, and his lips never left my skin. I noticed too late that his other hand was at the front of my robe, but before I could react his fingers curled around the fabric, clutching it together and pressing it securely against me. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips.

"Something funny?" he asked, skimming his mouth back up my neck to a spot below my ear that sent a shiver through my entire body.

"No," I gasped.

"You sure?"

"I..." His tongue flicked out and his teeth grazed my ear, and I completely forgot how to speak.

"I love you," he whispered.

The small noise that escaped my throat was my only response.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you wearing anything under this robe?"

My eyes flew open and I automatically lurched backward. He slipped his hand behind my head just as I would have surely banged it into the cabinet.

"Maybe you should get dressed?" he said with a smirk.

"Maybe she should."

We both jerked our gazes in the direction of Charlie's voice. He was standing in the doorway, his face only slightly less red than mine at the moment, only whereas my reason was utter mortification and maybe a little fear, his was looked to be pure fury.

"Ah...Char-I mean, Dad...I was just...I..." My complete loss for words couldn't have been helping the situation.

"Looks like you fell," he said, his eyes flickering over my bandaged knee.

"Yeah," I nodded weakly.

"And Jake got you all fixed up?"

"Uh-huh."

"Get dressed," he said. "And you," he said, turning his focus to Jake. "Downstairs. Now."

Charlie walked away before I say another word.

"Guess I'm off to face the firing squad," Jake laughed.

I half-heartedly slapped his chest. "Not funny, Jacob." For all we knew, Charlie was downstairs loading a gun at that very moment.

I shifted, reaching awkwardly up behind myself to grab onto the counter and pull myself up, but nearly fell over as a sharp twinge shot up my shoulder. _Guess that particular muscle wasn't meant for that position._

Jake laughed, of course, and slid his hands up my sides under my arms, lifting me easily to my feet. He hurriedly looked away, and whatever dignity I had left died the second I realized why. My robe had shifted and opened just enough that my underwear was showing...and it had stupid little smiley faces all over it. I pulled yanked my robe closed and stepped over him, heading straight to my room. He could face Charlie alone. I would be wallowing in the mortifying realization that I dressed like a five year old.

The first thing I did was change underwear. Plain gray would do just fine. Then I slipped on some jeans and a loose peasant top, and stepped into the hallway. I could hear Charlie pacing, but it didn't sound like either one of them was talking---if Jake was even still here.

I stood at the top of the stairs for several long seconds, not sure if I should wait or join them, when I finally heard Charlie's voice. Unfortunately he was speaking so low that I could only make out a few words, and they didn't string together to make much sense. Well, that could be solved easily enough.

I crept down the stairs as quietly as I could, thinking I'd just eavesdrop a little before deciding whether or not to make my presence known. I was careful to avoid the steps that creaked, and I managed not to lose my footing on the one that wobbled a little. But just as I neared the bottom, Charlie stepped around the corner, glaring at me.

"Back upstairs," he said, pointing over my head.

Like a scolded child, I tucked my head and did exactly what he said.

* * *

"Well?" I asked Jake.

His talk with Charlie had lasted at least three years, and I was pretty sure the stress had taken several more off my life. Their conversation was punctuated by the sound of the front door solidly closing, but I'd been afraid it was Jake who had left, and I was too chicken to go down and see for myself. It was with a mixture of anxiety and relief that I looked up to see him walk into my room.

He shrugged, sitting down on the edge of my bed, avoiding the head of the bed where the Edward memorabilia lay. He had a strange look on his face, though, and I couldn't help the little bit of panic that set in. Was he here to say goodbye because Charlie had forbidden him from seeing me anymore?

"You were down there for a long time," I said, hoping to coax a little more information from him.

"Not really," he replied. "Your dad spent most of it pacing and giving me the evil eye."

I got up from my seat at my desk and went to sit beside him on the bed. I breathed a small sigh of relief when he lay back, legs still dangling off the side, and pulled me back with him. We both stared at the ceiling for a while until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Spill," I said.

"He came in here this morning...we were sleeping," he said. "And he doesn't want me coming in the window anymore."

Well, I _knew_ that. "So...what now?"

"I have to use the door," he said. "And wear a shirt. And your door stays open."

"Great. He's probably gonna peek in a dozen times a night, just to see if you're in here."

"No, Bells," he laughed. "He means _when_ I spend the night."

"What?!" I asked a little too loudly, sitting straight up and turning to look at him. "You mean...?"

"Yep," he said, popping the 'p' and smirking.

"That's..." I trailed off, shaking my head as I tried to make sense of it. "Why?" I finally asked.

"He trusts you," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And he thinks you'll do something stupid if he acts like a hardass," he said. "Maybe run away again."

"I never ran...oh." Charlie still thought I ran off to Phoenix because of Edward. Well, in a sense he was right, but it wasn't like _that_. And the situation was reversed, too. He thought I ran off to get away from Edward, and now he thought I might run away to be with Jacob. Then again, I had been willing to run away with Edward...at least when I thought he wanted me to.

I glanced over at Jake, expecting the smirk to still be there. Instead, his eyes were closed, and his lips curved down just enough to be considered a frown.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He wasn't acting like the carefree Jacob I knew so well, and I was afraid Charlie might have said something else. What, I didn't know, but something was bothering him.

"Are _we_ okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes," I said, dropping back onto the bed and pulling myself over to look down at him. His eyes were still sad, and I didn't know what I was supposed to say to fix that. So I just kissed him.

I started with his forehead, and then his temple, and then over his jaw before I stopped just over his mouth. "I love you," I said. "I need us to be okay." I dropped a quick kiss on his lips and looked at him again. "This morning was...messed up," I said. "But it doesn't change anything. Well, maybe we need to stop being stupid and start talking things out more. But it doesn't change _us_...at least not for me."

He stared at me for a couple of seconds, looking again like he was searching for something, and then he smiled. My smile.

* * *

We lay there for the next couple of hours just talking, mostly about nothing in particular. A few somewhat important things came up, but we both managed to stay level-headed and not fly off the handle again. I asked him about that girl from the bonfire, Maria, and he admitted that most of the pack had been following her around for years. Of course, they were younger than she, so she paid them little attention until after they'd first phased. Only now they had girlfriends, were too busy, or were too full of themselves to take her seriously. Jared had apparently taken her out a few times, but now he was head over heels for a girl in his class.

I told him a little more about Edward leaving. Jake got pretty angry when I told him what Edward had said to me, but he mostly just muttered under his breath and held me a little tighter. The closest we got to yet another fight was when I admitted to him why I wanted to ride the motorcycle and go cliff diving. Jacob immediately threatened to rip both the bikes apart, and even when I explained that wasn't the case anymore, he refused to ever go riding with me again. Lately we hadn't really had time, but it wasn't something I wanted to completely give up. I knew better than to push him now, though. Maybe after graduation, when we had more time to spend together I'd be able to coax him into a ride.

Jake took the UDub news better than I expected, asking questions instead of just reacting, and once I assured him that I wouldn't simply be moving away, he actually seemed a little excited about me going to college. So now it was up to me to find a way to make it work.

When we finally decided to get up and get our day started, my legs practically screamed at me not to move, but I turned down Jake's offer to carry me everywhere and popped a few aspirin instead. I was about to suggest watching a movie, a small part of me afraid that Charlie would come home for lunch or something and react badly to both of us lying on my bed. But just as I opened my mouth, I was cut off by a howl.

"Victoria?" I asked. It would only make sense, now that we were in a good place, to face another vampire attack.

"No," he shook his head. "It's important, but nothing to be afraid of. I should go, though."

I was reluctant to let him leave, but I didn't have much of a choice. At least he didn't seem too happy about it either.

"I'll see you later," he said with a wink. "Leave your door open." He ducked down to kiss me, and then he was gone.

* * *

_A/N Yeah, it's been a while. You know how when you're down, life just likes to run over and kick you a few times & then run away laughing? That's what happened. I got back on schedule, only to be faced with a lot of time in a hospital waiting room, followed by a very uncomfortable wedding. Those of you who stalk me on Twitter know what I'm talking about. So I would say I'm back, but that would just be tempting fate. So let's just say I'm writing as much as I can as fast as I can, and I'll post again as soon as I can. _

_Now for the cool stuff...  
(1) I won Best Author in the Moonlight Awards. Yay!  
(2) The Support Stacie Author Auction is going on until 7pm CDT Mon 9/14 (I guess technically that's today). If you don't know the story, Stacie is a fanfiction author who was diagnosed with cancer just before her insurance at her new job kicked in. So she's faced with a mountain of medical bills while she tries to beat the disease. Some truly phenomenal authors are auctioning themselves off, writing fics for the highest bidder, and every penny goes to Stacie. Go to http://majiksfanfic(dot)com/phpbb/viewforum(dot)php?f=115 and bid on SorceressCirce because she's made of awesome.  
(3)Then go to www(dot)wolfpackawards(dot)webs(dot)com and vote for Mombailey. Her fic is up for Favorite Jacob and Best All-Human, and she deserves something cool like that because she keeps me just on this side of sanity.__  
(4)The Sort of Beautiful Challenge: www[dot]fanfiction[dot]net/u/2046940 ...I'm a judge. Do it.  
(5)And finally, if you're a Twitter person, follow me (ysar), and the really cool site I sort of took over (TwilightAwards).  
_

_Yep, that should do it. Oh, and keep an eye out for Charlie's new POV. You wanna know what he said to Jake, right? Well, it'll be posted soon!_

* * *


	62. Confessions: Jacob's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: CONFESSIONS  
(****Jacob's POV****)**

This. If we could just stay like this everything would be okay. If I never had to let go of her, if we never had to get up off this floor and go back out into a world that seemed determined to make everything hell for us…but that would never happen. Bella started to lean back, and while everything in me just wanted to clamp down and keep her as close as possible, I let her.

Her eyes were wide and searching, and I knew we probably both needed answers. I needed to know what the hell was going on, and she needed to know…I don't know…something. So I said it.

"I need to know everything." I only hoped the answers wouldn't do me in.

A war went on behind her eyes, and I wondered just what I'd asked for. But she just nodded and leaned back into me where I couldn't see her face. At least there was some solace in her getting closer to me again.

"Carlisle and Esme gave me the tickets for my birthday. It was so Edward and I could go visit my mom."

I hated when she said his name. She was all soft and quiet about it, and I couldn't tell if it was because it still hurt her or if it was so it wouldn't hurt me. And there were so many questions I wanted to ask, but none of it made any sense yet, especially since she said the tickets were for her birthday. Were they just left behind when he took off? Were they still planning on going? Where did I fit in? Her lips touched against my neck, and I knew she could feel how torn I was. So I tried to rein in my panic and just hear her out.

"I got a camera, too, and that CD, and a stereo for my truck."

The stereo gave me some hope. That thing was ripped apart, wires cut and sticking out everywhere, and cracked plastic across the face. She'd killed it, a lot like I wanted to do to that leech.

"Edward wrote me a song, and he recorded it on the CD, but then he left and took everything with him. At least I thought he did. It doesn't make any sense, really. Why would he give me a gift like that and then just leave me? And what was the point of hiding it? If he didn't want me to have it, he should have just taken it with him or thrown it away or _something. _Obviously I wasn't supposed to know everything was there. And it's not like I'll ever get the chance to ask him. He made it pretty clear that he could go on just fine without me."

She sounded kind of mad now, and her words were rushed, like she was spitting them out, so I took a chance. "So you haven't talked to him at all?" I asked.

"No," she said, shaking her head against my neck. "When he left, he _disappeared_. They all did. Edward acted like I would just forget about him, like it should be easy."

I knew too well just how wrong he was. I'd watched her wallow in it, the pain he left her with. I'd watched her try to rise from it. And I'd watched as she found her footing again. But that didn't mean she was over everything.

"You still love him," I whispered. She leaned back and gave me a strange look, like I'd surprised her. The truth was that I'd surprised myself. The words had just slipped out before I could stop them. I already knew the answer, and I didn't want her to confirm it. I certainly didn't mean to say it out loud. Shit.

And then she surprised me. She got a determined look in her eye and her hands came to rest on my cheeks. "I love _you,_" she said.

It should have been enough. I should have just taken those words and wrapped myself up in them because, when it came down to it, all I really needed was Bella's love. But my heart was on a suicide mission. "And him?"

"I don't know," she said, almost apologetically. "Maybe? I suppose I'll always love who I _thought_ he was."

I loved her more than anything, more than I thought was possible, more than one little word like that could hold. But I was still in the damn leech's shadow, and even though I hated that, as long as she loved me and wanted me, I'd be there for her. But it still hurt like hell. I closed my eyes and just tried to breathe evenly. She was being honest with me. I shouldn't have been mad about it. I needed to just…accept it and keep loving her. She'd come around…right?

She kissed me then, and I just sort of let her. I wanted to kiss her back, but a part of me was asking if she'd rather be kissing that bloodsucker, and the rest of me just started to shut down. I wasn't made for so much stress all in one morning.

But she didn't give up on me, even when I felt like I was giving up on myself. Her kiss grew more persistent, even a little rough, and her whole body pressed against me. And then she said she loved me.

I could almost hear the snapping in my mind as every thought just turned itself off and became something else…something that could only feel. I was kissing her before I even realized what I was doing, dying to taste her on my tongue, needing to know that she was still mine. I pulled her as close as I could without crushing her, my fingers trying to sink too roughly into her skin. She responded, kissing me hard and furiously, and it wasn't until I heard her sharp gasp that I realized it was too much, that I needed to be gentler.

Her hands were on my neck, my chest, my shoulders, and around to my back, and I was _so _tempted to do the same, but I stopped myself. After the morning from hell, the last thing I needed to do was push her. I loosened my hold on her and tried to calm myself down a little, kissing down her neck only to be met with the worn material of her robe. I tugged it out of the way, off her shoulder, only to feel the fabric slide in front, and I grabbed it, holding it closed before I got myself in trouble. If it was going to fall open, it would be because Bella wanted it to. And I really, really, really wanted her to want it to.

Instead, she kind of giggled. Not exactly the reaction I was going for.

"Something funny?" I asked, smirking against her skin as I worked my way almost up to her ear. There was something about that spot that got to her, and I didn't understand it, but I could certainly use it to my advantage.

"You sure?" I asked in response to the "no" I barely heard.

_This _was more like it, the morning I had hoped for. One where I could hold her and kiss her and feel her heart speed up and her breathing changed. Even if we never really did anything more than kiss, I loved that I could do _this_ to her.

"I love you," I breathed.

She made the cutest little whimpering sound and the hand holding her robe closed fought like hell against my better judgment.

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you wearing anything under this robe?"

She jumped back like she'd been burned, and I almost laughed at her, but she looked so shocked and embarrassed that I couldn't. "Maybe you should get dressed?" I suggested, knowing I wanted anything but that.

"Maybe she should."

Shit.

Bella stuttered and stammered, probably making things look even worse than they were while Charlie was probably thinking up all kinds of new ways to kill me. I didn't really care if he saw us kissing, but Bella's robe trying to fall off and her straddling me was probably a little much for him.

"Get dressed," he told her. "And _you_," he said angrily as he turned to me. "Downstairs. Now."

Bella struggled to pull herself off my lap, the combination of her probably sore legs and her constant clumsiness working against her. Her little struggle was working out too well for me, especially when she plopped right back down, and that was the last thing I needed before trying to reason with her gun-wielding dad. I ended up having to lift her, thinking that would solve the problem, but instead I got an eyeful of what she _was_ wearing under the robe. What should have been innocent, silly looking panties was anything but, and I had to look away before I did something really stupid. I was never going to look at a smiley face the same way again. In fact, I was pretty sure I was going to develop some weird fetish for them now.

* * *

Charlie didn't exactly look happy when he finally left, but at least he hadn't gone completely nuts like I expected him to. I actually felt a little sorry for him. I mean, he was a good guy, and a good dad to Bella, and I wasn't exactly making his job easier on him. At least now I knew the worst he would do was talk to my dad, and while I knew I'd probably get another condom lecture because of it, it was nothing I couldn't handle.

"Well?" Bella asked as soon as I walked into the room.

I didn't really want to tell her everything Charlie had said. I mean, I didn't want to keep it from her, but he'd just seemed so … sad or whatever, and I kind of felt like maybe he wouldn't want me reciting the whole conversation. After all, I was the one he'd wanted to talk to, not Bella, which I had to admit was a little backwards. Then again, he was okay with me spending the night in his daughter's room, so maybe backwards was just his way. Whatever the case, I kind of felt like I was being trusted with a lot more than just Bella, and the last thing I wanted to do was betray that trust. So instead of saying anything, I just shrugged and sat down on the end of the bed, as far away from the leech crap that was still sitting there.

"You were down there for a long time," she said.

"Not really," I told her. I looked over at the clock—it had only been a few minutes. "Your dad spent most of it pacing and giving me the evil eye."

She walked over and sat down beside me, so I leaned back, falling hard against the mattress, and pulled her back with me. I couldn't help but smile to myself, knowing I'd get to lie here a lot more if she'd let me.

"Spill," she demanded.

I told her about Charlie walking in while we were sleeping, and I listed off his little rules, laughing when she assumed he'd be watching her like a hawk from now on. And the look on her face, as well as the little screech that came out when I told her I was basically allowed to sleep with her was priceless. What sucked was when I had to tell her why

"He trusts you, and he thinks you'll do something stupid if he acts like a hard-ass," he said. "Maybe run away again."

"I never ran..._oh_."

It was obvious the second she figured out what I was talking about. And I hated it. I hated that she'd ever run off like that, and I especially hated that the leeches were the reason. Even more, I hated that the one they'd killed had tried to kill her first. But that was in the past, and I just needed to stop thinking about it. It was all her past. I wanted to be her future.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Are _we_ okay?" I asked right back.

The kissing on her bathroom floor had been amazing, but I didn't want to think that fixed everything. I'd been a complete dumbass, and she'd been a little crazy, too. Kissing, as good as it might have been, wasn't a cure-all.

"Yes," she said, surprising me a little with the quickness of her answer. She lay down with me again and kissed all over my face. It was probably the sweetest thing she'd ever done.

"I love you," she said. "I need us to be okay. This morning was...messed up, but it doesn't change anything. Well, maybe we need to stop being stupid and start talking things out more. But it doesn't change _us_...at least not for me."

I looked up at her, into those big brown eyes, and if I hadn't already been flat on my back, the love in her eyes would have knocked me over.

* * *

**_It's probably going to be a while until the next update, and I doubt I'll have the opportunity to sit down and respond to questions or reviews this time...again. The family member I was so worried about was released from the hospital, but a couple of days later, another one was life-flighted to a trauma center with bleeding on the brain. It looks like she's in the clear now, but I have driving/sitting/cleaning/cooking/general-servant duty until one of them gets better or I collapse from exhaustion. My money is on exhaustion._**


	63. Separation: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: SEPARATION  
(Bella's POV)**

I did some research online, checking out UDub's courses and schedules, and was pleased to find that not only could I take some classes online, but I could also condense the courses I'd be taking on campus into just a couple of days. I'd still have to live in Seattle, at least technically, but I'd be able to spend more than just weekends back at home. Of course, those weekends would most likely be filled with studying, but at least I would be closer to Jake for that. It was like I was getting everything I wanted, going away to college and yet not really leaving at all. I'd been sitting on my acceptance letter for a couple of weeks, so now all I had to do was get all my registration stuff in order.

As good as that news was, I just couldn't seem to keep my mind on it. One pressing issue was settled. I'd figured out college. But at the moment, my very unaware father was meeting with the fire marshal and trying to solve a case involving arson, vampires, werewolves, and his own daughter. A small part of me wondered how he could be so tuned into to everything else---like knowing that Jacob had spent the night---and yet not see that something entirely strange and very supernatural was happening in Forks. Then again, there was nothing I could do to help him, short of spilling everyone else's secrets, and I was pretty sure Charlie's ability to accept the unexpected had been tested thoroughly enough for one day. All I could really do was satisfy my own curiosity. I wanted to see Forks in the light of day.

I doubted Charlie would beat me home, but I left a note for him anyway, and then got in my truck and headed toward Newton's. When I pulled into the parking lot, I could see that I wasn't the only one with that idea. Parked by the requisite yellow tape was a large sedan with dark tinted windows, obviously some kind of official's car. Next to it were Mike's suburban and Mrs. Newton's Cadillac. Across the lot were several other vehicles and a bunch of people, mostly students from what I could see, standing around watching as if something exciting was about to happen. I could understand their curiosity. What I didn't understand was what they thought they would learn from a few hundred feet away.

I was trying to decide where I should park, by the Newtons or with the gawking crowd, when Mike noticed me and waved. Not only was I glad he'd solved my parking dilemma, but he didn't seem to hold the other night's events against me, and for that I was relieved.

"Hey, Bella," he said a little nervously as I climbed out of my truck.

"Hey," I said. "I thought I'd come by and see…well, how you guys are doing." That, and I wanted to know if I still had a job.

"Mom's a little frazzled, but that's not unusual, right?" he laughed.

"How bad is the damage?" I asked, truly feeling a bit sympathetic. It looked pretty bad. The front windows had a thin coating of soot, making it difficult to see what was inside, but I could make out a couple of tipped over racks.

"It's not as bad as it looks," he replied. Most of it was on that side," he said, gesturing toward one end of the partially blackened façade. "But the storeroom wasn't damaged at all, and there's only water damage on the sales floor. They won't let us go in, but I got a look when they had the doors open earlier. It could have been a lot worse," he said with a shrug.

If only he knew. "Yeah, I guess," I said.

"Mikey! This is no time to stand around gossiping," Mrs. Newton chastised him loudly, narrowing her eyes at me.

"C'mon, Mom! There's nothing else I can do right now," he complained. She shook her head and turned back to the uniformed man she'd been talking to. "Sorry about that," Mike said. "She's…well, you know how she is."

"Yeah," I nodded. "But I should probably get out of here. I don't think she likes me very much right now."

"She doesn't like _anyone_ right now," he laughed. "She's convinced whoever did this was out to get her. Like she's that important or something. Don't let her run you off."

I felt a little sorry for him. He really was a good guy, and it certainly wasn't his fault his mom was nuts. His being so nice just served to make me feel even worse about the last time I'd seen him.

"Ah…about the other night---" I started.

"Sorry about my mom," Mike interrupted. "Hope she didn't get you in too much trouble."

He was apologizing to me? "It really wasn't what…well, what she said," I replied, on the one hand feeling like I needed to defend my reputation---well, what there was of one--- and on the other wondering why it was anyone's business.

"I know, Bella. I tried to tell her, but she's kind of crazy sometimes," he chuckled. "Hey, I know you're with that guy and all, but we can still hang out, right?"

I probably stared at him a little too long, trying to see if he was being genuine or if he was really just that dense. But the hopeful look in his eye really didn't look inappropriately hopeful, and so I replied "Of course," crossing my fingers that I wasn't making a huge mistake.

He grinned broadly and looked a little amused, almost like he knew what I was thinking. "Cool," he said. "A bunch of us are going to La Push next weekend, you should come. Invite him if you want. I mean, it's his backyard, right?"

"Won't the store be open by then?" I asked.

"Maybe, but I can make sure we get part of the day off. It's gonna be closed for at least a few days while they get everything cleaned up. Lucky we'll be in school, right?"

"Yeah."

Mike and I talked for a few more minutes. Apparently some of the inventory had been damaged by smoke and water, so they were going to be doing a sidewalk sale soon, but most of it came out unscathed. Mrs. Newton was already talking to a contractor about putting up a temporary wall so they could use the good side of the building to keep the business open. That was certainly good news to me, even if I didn't like the idea of returning to work. The fact was that I was going to need the money, if not for gas, then for college.

* * *

With the fire and the rest of the weekend behind us, going back to school was a lot like returning from vacation. A really strange vacation. Jake and I had spent a little more time together, but it seemed that the pack had picked up the scent of more vampires in the direction of Port Angeles, so they were stepping up patrols again. Fortunately, whatever they smelled, it wasn't Victoria, and it wasn't in Forks or La Push, so no one was terribly worried. They were simply guarding the perimeters and hoping that whoever this new visitor was simply passed by.

Unfortunately, the longer patrols meant no sleepovers, something I had been looking forward to even though I was dreading the part where Charlie was involved. I mean, how exactly was this supposed to work? 'Hey, Dad. Mind tucking us both in?' I had to give him credit for being so understanding. I really couldn't imagine any other parent being so…cool. Even Renee probably would have had a fit if she'd found a boy in my bed---followed by an embarrassing trip to the pharmacy, of course. The worst part was that I really wanted to ask Charlie why. Why was he okay with Jake sleeping over? Sure, it was pretty innocent and all, but that didn't explain why my father, the cop, was suddenly okay with coed sleeping arrangements. To pique my curiosity even further, Jacob had been pretty tight-lipped about his talk with Charlie, answering most of my questions with a shrug, a yes, or a no, and never volunteering any details. So Jake was no help, and bringing up the subject with Charlie probably would have been a lot like pulling my nails out with pliers. So there I was, completely confused and in the dark.

One good thing Victoria's little attack had done was render the school gym unusable. I almost laughed out loud when I heard the announcement, picturing the look on her face if she knew that she'd done something to make my life better. But then it dawned on me that I was imagining the face of my would-be killer, and while beautiful, it was definitely terrifying. No, there was just nothing funny about that.

So with no gym, our class met in the library instead. Coach Clapp instructed us all to write an essay about the famous sports figure of our choice, and while the rest of the class groaned in disapproval, I was not-so-secretly thrilled. My writing was much less uncoordinated than my attempts at semi-graceful movement. No matter what class I was in, though, there was no escaping talk of the fires. It had apparently been the most exciting thing to happen in Forks since…ever, and everyone had a story to tell.

At lunch, the chatter was much the same. The one noticeable difference, though, was that Lauren walked right past our table and sat instead at the end of a table filled with freshmen. Her hair was combed down almost over her face, and her makeup looked like it had been layered on, but it did nothing to hide the dark purplish bruise of her black eye. I would have been happy with that if she hadn't spent the entire time glaring at me instead.

Jessica, of course, talked non-stop about Embry. I flinched a little at her description of the reservation, calling it poor and acting like she was some kind of goodwill ambassador for even going out there. Sure, a couple of the houses were small. Sam and Emily were young and couldn't afford much. And Billy was a disabled widower living on disability. But most of the homes there were just as nice as the ones in Forks, and a few were simply stunning in both size and design. I had to wonder if Jessica had watched one too many documentaries on poverty stricken reservations in the southwest and was now applying that image to all of La Push.

Mike sat down next to me and, strangely enough, managed to behave himself. I wasn't getting any of the same lapdog or creepy stalker vibes he usually gave off, and I allowed myself to think that maybe we had reached a point where we really could be friends. Before I could give that much thought, though, Jessica said something that forced my soda to go down wrong.

"We'll probably get an apartment together. I mean, Embry doesn't want to leave his poor mother, but he knows how important it is for me to get out of Forks," she said.

"Wh—what?" I choked out, the burning of carbonation in my windpipe making it hard to process what I was hearing.

"For college, Bella," she said in that same way one explains something to a toddler. "I mean, he loves me, and he wants what's best for me."

Okay, it was now official. Jessica was insane.

* * *

By the time school was out, I never wanted to hear the word "fire" again. I was even considering replacing Charlie's stash of emergency candles with glow sticks just so I would never have to _see _another fire. But at least the day was over and I could now call Jacob. With any luck, Sam would give him tonight off, and maybe I'd be able to fall asleep with him by my side again.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Billy. Is Jacob there?"

"_No, I'm pretty sure he's at Sam's."_

"Oh." I couldn't hide my disappointment. I'd assumed Jake would be just as anxious to see me, but instead he'd gone straight to Sam's after school…if he'd even gone to school at all. I told myself it was probably some kind of pack thing he had to be there for, but it still hurt a little. I wondered if it would be okay to call him at Sam's.

"_You should probably get over there."_

That didn't sound good. Billy gave me the number and got off the phone quickly. I debated about calling for all of five seconds, and then I was dialing again.

"_Hello?" _ It was Emily.

"Hi, Emily. It's Bella. Ah…Billy told me I should call Jacob?" I said a little uncertainly.

"_Oh, of course,"_ she said pleasantly. I heard a muffled, _"Jake! It's Bella!" _through the phone.

"_Hey, Bells._" He didn't sound happy.

"Jake, is everything okay?"

"_Yeah, it's fine. But you should come over._"

"To Sam's?"

"_Yes. Can you come right now?_"

He didn't have to ask twice. The part of me that was dying to see him was in complete agreement with the part of me that was now very worried about what was going on.

* * *

I managed to get my truck up to fifty-seven miles per hour, and even though it groaned and shook, I didn't care. Jacob was waiting out front when I pulled up. The second I was out of the truck, Jacob's arms were wrapped too tightly around me.

"Can't---breathe---" I gasped.

His grip on me loosened just enough that I was able to take in one breath, but the next second he took that breath away with a ravenous kiss. I clung helplessly to him as my legs instantly collapsed, and I swear my eyes rolled into the back of my head when his tongue slipped past my lips. For a few passionate seconds I completely forgot my worry and was lost in his kiss. When he let me go, I was gasping for air again, but now for a completely different reason.

"Hmmm, maybe I should do that more often," he chuckled as I swayed unsteadily, trying to get my land legs back.

"No argument here," I replied, a little embarrassed. Then, remembering my purpose, I asked, "So are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing for you to look _that_ worried about, Bells. Come on inside," he said, my hand disappearing in his large grip as he pulled me toward the house.

Once inside I could see that the whole pack was gathered, as well as a few faces I wasn't familiar with. Two of them looked really young, and they were standing off to the side, kind of behind Sam, like he was blocking them from everyone else. I wondered if these were the boys Jacob had told me about.

"Tie up any loose ends and meet here in thirty minutes," Sam was telling them. "Leah and Seth, Emily will make an excuse for your absence after we're gone. And Seth, no heroics, okay? You are to do exactly as I tell you, or as Leah tells you if I'm…distracted."

I turned and looked up at Jake with a shocked expression. He just shook his head as if to say "Not now," and continued listening to Sam. I retreated back into the chaos of my thoughts so deeply that I didn't even realize Sam had quieted and the pack was dispersing.

"Where are you going?" I asked, turning to Jacob.

"Seth was snooping around in town and picked up Victoria's trail near Spartan. We'll start there," he said.

"Spartan _Avenue_?" I asked. That was right in front of the school.

"Yeah, the trail was fresh, so if we leave soon, we may be able to corner her," he replied, either not catching or ignoring the connection.

"Fresh?" I asked, a tremor I couldn't stop making its way up my spine. She'd been near my school, on the street I drove home on, so close this time.

"Shit," he mumbled, taking in my fearful expression. "She wasn't at the school, okay?" He waited for me to nod. "She was over at the utility office again."

"So…the fire there? And the power outage?"

"I don't know, Bells. But if so, I'll have to thank her before I kill her," he said with a laugh. "If not for her, I wouldn't have seen you in my shirt, and---"

"It's not funny, Jake," I insisted. Why wasn't he being so nonchalant? "If she was in Forks, then she got too close." My stomach was starting to do anxious little flips. If I hadn't come to La Push to see Jacob, I would have been in Forks the night of the power outage.

"No, she didn't. You were safe, I promise," he said, pulling me into a hug.

"But how---?" I started to ask, taking a step back so I could look at him. I'd spent all day at school, stupidly feeling safe when she had been just a couple of blocks away. I had seen vampires run. I knew a couple of blocks for her was nothing.

We're always there, Bells," he said sheepishly. "I mean, we've been staying close, one or two of us at a time, just in case."

"Will you be back tonight?" I asked.

"I'm not sure when we'll be back. It could take a couple of days---she moves fast," he explained.

I didn't like the look on his face. He was way too excited and not nearly worried enough. He was strong, and she wouldn't be the first vampire he'd faced down, but something told me Victoria was a bigger threat than Laurent ever was. And if she was anything like James…I shuddered.

"Hey, it's nothing to worry about," he said, seeing the concern on my face. "She's outnumbered, and this is what I'm made for, remember?"

"Promise me you'll be careful?" I asked, stepping so close to him it actually hurt my neck to look all the way up at his face.

He laughed and hugged me again. "Nothing to worry about, Bells," he repeated.

"Jacob, _please,_" I pleaded, clinging to him. "I would die if…" I couldn't say it. I didn't even want to think it.

His fingers slid under my chin and pulled my face up to look at him. I tried to make out the emotions in his eyes. Excitement, nervousness, sadness…love. It was that last one I chose to focus on.

"I promise I'll be careful. You just promise to be here when I get back," he whispered.

He leaned down to kiss me, softly, then his lips became more urgent, one hand tangling in my hair while the other pressed hard against the small of my back, crushing me to him. I was gasping for air when we parted, not sure if I'd simply forgotten to breathe or my fear of his not returning had taken the wind out of me.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he breathed, and then he was gone.

"It's hard, isn't it?" Emily asked quietly, breaking me out of my trance.

I just nodded. Emily was probably the one person who truly understood.

We were suddenly alone in the house. It had seemed so big and full of life just minutes ago. Now it was just a tiny shell, an empty memory, even more lifeless than I thought possible. I didn't really want to go home, but I didn't think I could stand it there, staring at the evidence that so many people had gone to risk their lives…over me. And Emily was my only link to them. It was like she could read my mind.

"You can call me, you know. Any time," she said.

* * *

The drive back to Forks was long and slow, my old truck complaining noisily the entire way. I watched the trees streak by, wondering if Jake was somewhere behind all that green or if he was far away by now.

"Where have you been?" asked Charlie as I walked in the door.

"La Push" I said.

"Oh," he said smiling. But then he must have seen it was nothing to smile about. "Is everything okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, though I knew he could tell I wasn't.

* * *

**Hmmmm...what else? Oh yeah, I changed the rating to M, not because things are going to get lemony but because this fic was really walking a fine line between T & M, so I thought I'd play it safe. Plus, I like to cuss. A lot. And I may want to do that sometime, so I'm thinkin' ahead. As always, lemons are reserved for the sequel. This one is still essentially teen-safe and that's not gonna change. A little unresolved sexual tension never killed anyone, right? Maybe?**

**And finally, while you're waiting for the next update here, go read Heart in a Headlock (http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5305283/1/) ****& Once Upon a Moon (http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5265597/1/) ****by bloodofbeckie. She is 43 kinds of awesome & I puffy heart her. Go read. Now. Jake's waiting and he's _hawt_!**


	64. Separation: Jacob's POV

My time with Bella was cut short by the pack. It's not like I thought I'd get to spend all day with her, and honestly, I was pretty damn grateful just for having the night, but I was still disappointed when I heard the call.

I guessed it was Seth, since I knew he was probably the closest, and I could tell by the tone that it wasn't anything threatening. Sam was probably just calling a meeting, or---if I was lucky---he had some news about the leech that was after my Bella.

Bella's eyes had grown wide as saucers, and her voice shook a little when she heard Seth's call. I assured her it was nothing to worry about, but in my heart I hoped there was more to it. Seeing the fear in her eyes, and knowing her panic this morning, I really just wanted it to be over with. Sure, we would come across more bloodsuckers someday, but knowing there was one out there who had some kind of vendetta against my girl was almost too much to deal with. I needed to do what I was made for. I needed to protect her. I kissed her goodbye and headed for the trees to phase.

'_What's up?' _I asked the second our minds were connected.

'_Going to Sam's' _Embry replied.

'_What about Bella?'_ I asked, not wanting to leave her unprotected.

'_I got her,'_ Leah answered.

Why Leah got to stick around was beyond me, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was because Sam didn't want to be around her. I couldn't really blame him for that.

'_Everything cool?'_ Embry asked as we ran

'_Yeah, I guess,'_ I said, remembering some of our conversation.

I could practically feel Embry's mind whirring as he read through the details of my thoughts. Hearing Bella's explanation, feeling my fear and guilt over it, understanding my reaction, even if he did have to talk some sense into me. The rest of the pack stayed mostly silent as Embry and I "discussed" the morning's events. Paul was amused by the whole thing, which didn't surprise me one bit, and Leah felt a little sorry for Bella, which surprised the hell out of me. Her thoughts immediately drifted back to her break-up with Sam, and it took everyone chiming in to get her to knock it off. I guess I could understand where she was coming from, but I really didn't need that replayed for me all over again. I'd seen it enough for one lifetime.

'_Told you she'd be jealous'_ Embry said, when I recalled Bella's questions about Maria.

It was no use denying it. I wanted to insist Bella wasn't jealous, but I knew she was, and I guess maybe she had a little reason to be. Not that I gave a second thought to Maria anymore, but I had been obsessed with her for a while when I was younger. Hell, we all were. And I knew I'd be jealous of anyone that Bella had been that way about, so it only made sense. I still didn't really know where I stood with her when compared to Cullen.

'_Dude, knock it off!'_ Embry said. _'It's that kind of thinking that had you all screwed up this morning, and you saw what it did to Bella.'_

He was right. The sheer panic and wild desperation in her eyes when I'd returned was not something I ever wanted to see again, and I especially didn't want to be the cause of it. She'd looked so broken when I was trying to clean her up, small and frail in that ugly old robe. It was different from how she'd looked when Sam found her in the woods that time. In some ways it was worse. Of course, I hadn't minded the way she kissed me afterward.

'_Now that's what I'm talking about!'_ Quil interrupted.

I quickly shifted my thoughts to kicking his ass, and he quieted down, at least pretending to leave Embry and me in a private conversation. Embry's thoughts were harder to avoid, though. By the time we neared the rez, I was almost sick to my stomach of his constant replay of Bella in her yard. I knew he thought I was an idiot for how I'd acted, and he was really just sticking it to me for putting her through it, but I didn't need to be reminded of it. When the hell had he become Bella's champion anyway?

One by one, the minds of the rest of the pack left us, each one arriving at Sam's house and phasing back to human form. Relieved to be rid of several eavesdroppers, I stupidly let down my guard, my mind flashing for one brief second to the image of Bella, standing in front of me with her robe slipping open. Embry's reaction was an irritating mix of lust and amusement, and before he could complete a coherent thought, I slammed my shoulder into his, knocking him off his feet and kicking up a cloud of dirt and leaves.

He regained his footing quickly and sprinted ahead, silently laughing and taunting me with thoughts of giant yellow happy faces. I knew I was in trouble, too. There was no way he was going to be able to keep that thought to himself.

* * *

The meeting was quick, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't irritated. It seemed stupid to have to leave Bella's, especially when we were finally talking about important stuff, just to hear Sam's ideas about stepping up patrols.

We'd covered all the expected topics, everything from who would be posted where to how our newest "recruits" were doing. I'd snorted aloud at that one. Recruits my ass. Like any of us had any choice in what we were.

Rachel was still staying at Leah's, and Collin and Brady were doing as well as could be expected. Collin's mother was still pretty freaked out, but the elders had stepped in, and it looked like she might come around eventually. I was a little surprised to hear that Collin had accidentally phased in my living room, apparently busting out some of the sheetrock when he did. Sam insisted that it was to be expected, and a couple of the guys chimed in with their own stories to make him feel a little better. Sam shot me a look, though, probably wondering why I hadn't been around to do something about it. I actually did feel a little bad about that. I mean, Dad was in on our secret and all, and I knew he was probably better prepared to calm a newly phased wolf than I was, but he couldn't have done anything if Collin had really gotten out of control. As much as I wanted to take advantage of the free pass Charlie had given me, I had the feeling I was going to be stuck at home for a while.

The good news, though, was that Sue Clearwater was all set to take her husband's place on the tribal council. Seth's face lit up the second Sam started talking about it, and I couldn't help but be happy for the kid. Finally Sue would understand that her children were anything but delinquents. And if we were really lucky, Leah's bitchy attitude would improve a little. She'd probably never stop hating Sam or missing her dad, but at least she'd have her mom back.

* * *

"Charlie called," Dad said as soon as I walked in the door.

How he could just casually announce something like that without even taking his eyes off the TV was beyond me. I had a feeling he was enjoying this. Hell, he'd probably just been sitting there, waiting all morning for this moment, just so he could torture me. And while I was sure I knew exactly why Charlie had called, I had no idea what he'd actually said, or how much Dad intended to make me sweat. How was I supposed to respond to that?

"Says you and Bella are getting pretty serious," he added.

"Yeah," I shrugged, not really wanting to explain last night to him. I knew he wouldn't give me any real grief, but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell him nothing happened, or if I was supposed to let him think what he wanted. I really didn't want him assuming the worst, just because Bella deserved better than that. But it wasn't any of his business, either.

"Charlie's okay with it?" he asked, even though I was sure he already knew.

"Guess so," I said, trying to sound unaffected. "I mean…he says to leave the door open and all…" I added, trailing off as I wondered just what he was getting at.

"Should make watching her easier," he said.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Bring me a beer, would you?" he replied.

Well, I guess that conversation was over.

* * *

I missed her. I saw her every day, but not nearly as much as I wanted to, and it sucked. We were finding trails everywhere, picking up scents of leeches that we didn't recognize, and we could only hope they were just passing through. All that tracking was taking me farther away from the one place I wanted to be: Bella's bed. And not like _that. _I really just wanted to be near her. Why was it that the second Charlie said it was okay for me to just fall asleep with her, everything else had to get in the way? It was like some cruel joke and fate or karma or whatever was sitting back somewhere laughing at me.

Bella and I ended up talking on the phone more than anything else, mostly because Sam never seemed to schedule me anywhere near Bella's house when she was actually home. Rachel was cool enough to lend me her cell phone, which surprised me. It probably didn't hurt that Sam had paired me up with Paul, and he was using it to call her, too. I suspected this was Sam's way of trying to force Paul and me to get along, but if that was the case, he was keeping those thoughts locked up in his mind. Even when I specifically asked him about it, something that would usually cause another wolf to slip just enough to get something useful from their thoughts, all I got from Sam was his rigid patrol routes and schedules At least Paul was missing Rachel enough that he didn't give me a hard time about Bella.

But keeping track of that phone while phased was no fun at all. At first, we decided to leave it at the edge of the woods and come back for it, but a couple of minutes after we started patrolling, it started raining. We weren't as afraid of Rachel's wrath as we were of not being able to call at all, so we finally settled on one of us phasing first and the other one securing the phone before phasing. It was a pain, but it was worth it.

Unfortunately, hearing Bella's voice over a cell signal did little to ease the distance, and chasing quickly fading scent trails left by unfamiliar leeches did little to ease my worry. I was a mess, and it was showing.

I got some measure of relief when the school finally reopened and Bella went back to class. I didn't like the idea of her being in the same building with Newton all day, but at least I knew no leeches would be stupid enough to attack with a couple hundred people around. They'd have to get a lot more creative than setting fires if they wanted to get at a student in broad daylight…well, as broad as the daylight ever got around here. But apparently that didn't stop them from trying.

Paul and I were both getting antsy, bored out of our minds, and starting to grate on each others' nerves. I didn't care that his thoughts were concentrated on my sister, but when he took those thoughts to a place I never wanted to know about, I'd had enough. I phased back to human form and absolutely refused to change again. I was ready to just walk home, Sam's schedule be damned when I heard the call, and this time, it was nothing to shrug off.

Paul took off straight for the rez, no doubt more concerned about Rachel than anything else, and I was just a couple of steps behind him, but I had a detour to make. The second I phased I was bombarded with the alarmed thoughts of the pack. It seemed that Seth had been wandering around, off his scheduled beat, of course, and just happened upon the red-haired leech's scent. Only it was too close to the school and fresher than it should have been. How she got past our stepped up patrols wasn't something I cared about. I just needed to make sure Bella was safe.

Within a couple of minutes, I was crouched behind the cars at the far end of the parking lot, not far enough out of sight for Sam, I was sure, but with the best view of the school I could get without waltzing right in. Everything looked normal, though. Just a couple of kids walking around, probably cutting class or taking advantage of a hall pass, but that was it. No cop cars, no frantic crowds, and no reason to think anything was wrong. Just to be on the safe side, I did a full perimeter check, but I picked up nothing.

"I need to call Bella," I said, as soon as we got inside. I'd waited all day to talk to her. I didn't care what Sam had to say to us; I needed to call her.

"She won't be home yet, and there's no time," said Sam. "The leech is running, and we can catch her."

"Bella has a right to know," I insisted. It was a good excuse…and the only one I could think of that he might listen to.

"Do you want to protect her or not?"

Of course I wanted to protect her, but I also wanted to hear her voice. And she did have a right to know.

As soon as Embry showed up, Sam filled us in, even though we'd all gotten a pretty good idea already just by picking each others' brains while we were phased. For someone who was worried about time, Sam was sure wasting it. But the more time he spent going over things we already knew, the better chance I had of talking to Bella before we took off. And from the sound of it, that's exactly what we were doing.

"We're leaving the rez?" Leah asked, not bothering to hide her shock and disapproval.

"Don't have much choice," Sam said. "We can sit here and wait for their next move or we can do something about it."

"And we're just gonna leave our families unprotected?" she challenged.

"We're following the threat, Leah," he replied tersely. "If you wanna stay, then stay. I'm sure Seth will be fine on his own."

Leah's mouth popped open like she wanted to say something, but I think she knew she'd been cornered. As much as she might disagree with Sam's plan, there was no way she was letting her little brother go after a bloodsucker alone. The fact that the rest of the pack would be with him didn't matter to her one bit.

"Jake!" Emily called from the kitchen. "It's Bella!"

Sam did this weird eye roll glare combination and jerked his head toward Emily, silently telling me to get the phone. I tried not to, but I couldn't help a little bit of a smirk. Served him right for thinking he could just call the shots when it came to her.

"Hey, Bells," I answered, not quite pulling off the casual tone I was going for.

"_Jake, is everything okay?" _ she asked, picking up on that detail instantly.

I didn't want to tell her over the phone. I knew she'd just worry, and I really wanted to see her. Besides, it was the perfect opportunity to get her to come to me since I knew Sam would probably use an injunction to make me stay put. "Yeah, it's fine. But you should come over."

"_To Sam's?"_

"Yes. Can you come right now?" I wasn't sure how much longer we would be, but I hoped it was just long enough for her to get there.

Sam called a break a few minutes later, and I went outside to pace and wait for Bella. I was tempted to phase and just run to meet her, but I knew I wouldn't get far if Sam caught on. He was taking his Alpha role a little too seriously for my liking, stepping outside the pack business and messing with my personal life. Sure, we needed to meet and we needed to get going if we wanted any chance of tracking and trapping the leech, but there was no reason to just ignore everything else that was important to the rest of us. Paul was itching to talk to Rachel, and he'd made a crazy lunge for the phone as soon as everyone dispersed. Sam had gone straight for Emily, which just pissed me off. Why did his relationship matter any more than mine? Imprinting? I didn't give a damn about that.

I heard the truck before I saw it, and I barely waited for her to cut the engine off before I was pulling her out of the seat.

"Can't---breathe---" she gasped, so I loosened my hold just enough to kiss her.

God, I'd missed her. Between Sam keeping me everywhere but near her, and Charlie watching me like a hawk when I did get a few minutes with her, it felt like our relationship had actually taken a few steps back. But kissing her proved otherwise.

"Hmmm, maybe I should do that more often," I laughed.

She looked completely dazed and absolutely beautiful. "No argument here," she said with a shy smile. But then she seemed to catch herself and her brow furrowed with worry. "So are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Nothing for you to look _that_ worried about, Bells. Come on inside."

Sam didn't look too please with me, but I didn't really care. If he could hold pack meetings inside his house with Emily, I could bring Bella. And just as I thought, he didn't say a word about it. He just kept talking about who needed to do what, and I kept my hold on Bella.

Her eyes were wide as she scanned the room, her gaze lingering on Brady and Collin for a moment. She was tense, and she was probably a little confused, so I just pulled her closer to me and waited for Sam to finish.

"Tie up any loose ends and meet here in thirty minutes," Sam was telling them. "Leah and Seth, Emily will make an excuse for your absence after we're gone. And Seth, no heroics, okay? You are to do exactly as I tell you, or as Leah tells you if I'm…distracted."

Bella was kind of an emotional mess by the time Sam finished. It probably hadn't helped that he'd gone into way too much detail when he'd covered what he wanted us to do if anyone was hurt. I knew---or at least I assumed---that she'd seen a bloodsuckers fighting. But even though she'd seen us phased, she'd never actually witnessed us take down a leech. And I knew nothing I could say would convince her that I'd be just fine.

"Will you be back tonight?" she asked.

"I'm not sure when we'll be back," I answered, hating the scared and disappointed look on her face. "It could take a couple of days---she moves fast." She looked like she was at a complete loss. "Hey, it's nothing to worry about," I told her. "She's outnumbered, and this is what I'm made for, remember?"

"Promise me you'll be careful?" she begged.

"Nothing to worry about, Bells," I replied, trying to keep my tone light.

"Jacob, _please,_ I would die if…"

"I promise I'll be careful. You just promise to be here when I get back," I said, leaning down to kiss her again.

I didn't want to leave her, and I especially didn't want to leave her so unprotected. I knew someone would be around to watch over her, but I'd have felt better if it was me doing the watching. What if the leech had another big plan? What if she was just trying to lure us away and Sam was falling for it. What if the second we were gone some new group of wild bloodsuckers showed up?

There was nothing I could do, though. I had my orders, and unless I decided to split from the pack permanently, I was stuck following through. And it's not like telling Bella all that was going to make her feel any better. The best I could do was hurry back.

I kissed her, trying to pour all I had into just that one act, and then, against every instinct I had, I loosened my hold on her and backed away.

"I'll be back as soon as I can."

* * *

**Sorry this one didn't go up anytime near when I'd planned. My stupid internet went out, and my back-up connection is spotty at best. So anyway, thank you all for sticking with me. **

**Oh, and a HUGE thank you to those of you who registered at MyVampFiction(dot)com and reviewed me over there. Your love for the story took this one straight to the top of their most reviewed fics.  
Speaking of the site...**

**If you're not familiar with MyVampFiction(dot)com, check it out. They feature fics from all kinds of vampy fandoms, and it's also a great place for crossovers. One of the admins told me they'd also love to see some more stories featuring our favorite wolves, so now would be the time to start posting. Like Twilighted, they validate chapters before posting BUT they are incredibly helpful when it comes to getting your fic up to par if you've got a couple of mistakes. I know of some incredibly good fics that got their start with the help of the people on staff there, so it's definitely worth a shot whether you're a seasoned writer or you're just starting out. If you do submit your fic there, look up my profile on the site and be sure to email me the link to it. Fanfiction(dot)net likes to jack with web addresses, so sending me a link through MVF is much more reliable.  
**

**And while you're there, check out "Finding Forever" by SusanAshlea. There aren't many good fics out there that focus on members of the Volturi, but this one stands out. It's at http://myvampfiction(dot)com/dungeon./viewstory(dot)php?sid=5.**


	65. Unexpected: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: UNEXPECTED  
(Bella's POV)**

The next couple of days were excruciating. I reprised a bit of my zombie role to get through my classes, unable to pay attention when I knew Jacob was out there somewhere, probably doing something incredibly stupid, possibly getting himself hurt or…worse.

I just couldn't stand it. Walking through the halls, sitting in class, acting like everything was okay. I loved Jacob too much to be envious of the other students, so I just hated them for having normal, uncomplicated lives. Every time I overheard giggling and gossiping, I just wanted to hit someone. Mike started to come up to me once between classes, a big grin on his face, but he immediately changed course when I made eye contact with him. I should have felt guilty for silently pushing him away after saying we would be friends, but I was too distracted to feel much of anything. Even Angela gave me a wide berth, although I could feel her gaze following me as I turned to go to the library instead of eating lunch with everyone else. I just couldn't stomach the inane chatter and simple conversations when someone I loved was putting himself in danger.

A part of me had wanted to tell him not to go, to stay with me and keep going about our everyday lives. But we didn't have everyday lives anymore. The pack was always out, always searching and watching. The constant threat of Victoria had made things hard for everyone, whether they knew the reason behind the difficulties or not. Charlie was working overtime, the Newtons were trying to rebuild their store, and the pack was busy trying to guard and protect not only their tribe, but also everyone in Forks. In some ways, I had it the easiest. I hadn't been able to see Jake much lately, but I could still go to school, go home, cook dinner, and basically go through the motions without interruption. So while I hated what was going on, I couldn't deny that something had to be done, if not to protect me then certainly so that everyone else's lives could go back to normal.

When school finally let out each day, I wasted no time, quickly throwing the truck in gear and racing out of the parking lot. Every day I wanted to drive straight to La Push, but I was too afraid I'd get there only to find that Jacob was still gone.

I spent evenings dusting and straightening and vacuuming---basically anything to keep myself busy while I prayed that the phone would ring. Of course, it didn't. It was too soon. Jacob said they might be gone a few days. I did break down every afternoon and call Emily, though. And just as I expected, she hadn't heard anything yet, either.

It was Thursday when I finally got some news, even though it wasn't the news I'd been waiting for. Charlie came home I had dinner ready, and we sat down to what I hoped would be a quiet meal, but he knew something was wrong each day, the second he walked in to a spotless house.

"What's going on, Bells?" he asked.

"Nothing much," I said, hoping he'd let me get away with playing dumb. I should have known better.

"No. I mean, _what's_ going on? Something's bothering you. Did you and Jake have another fight?"

It was completely out of character for Charlie to be asking me questions like that. Sure, he spoke up when he was _really_ concerned about something. But to ask about the general status of my love life? I must have been a lot more obvious about my feelings than I thought.

I couldn't very well tell him that Jacob was out hunting a monster that was trying to kill me. "No," I sighed. "I'm just in a weird mood, I guess."

Thankfully, Charlie didn't press the issue, and I didn't volunteer anything more. The rest of the meal passed in welcomed silence, and in no time, he carried his plate to the sink and then parked himself in front of the TV while I cleaned up.

I was in the middle of washing dishes when I heard a knock at the door.

"You expecting someone, Bella?" asked Charlie as he got up to answer.

Maybe it was Jacob. Maybe he'd come back early. Or maybe it was Emily. With Sam. With bad news. I quickly pushed the thought from my head and began scrubbing furiously. "No," I said, afraid to get my hopes up.

"Hey, Chief Swan. Ah, is Bella here?"

The plate I was holding slipped and clattered against the sink, and I stood there, frozen. It couldn't be. I had to be hallucinating. Could it even be called hallucinating if I was only hearing things and not seeing them?

"You okay, Bells?" Charlie asked, probably alarmed by the sound of shattering dishware more than the unexpected visitor.

"Yeah," I said quietly, not sure if I should look up and confirm that I'd truly lost my mind.

"Bella?"

There it was again. That voice. I'd know it anywhere.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk," Charlie mumbled.

I stood there for what felt like an eternity, afraid to turn around and confirm the truth. Or maybe I was afraid he wasn't really there after all, and it was all just some strange dream. But I couldn't stand at the kitchen sink all night, and sooner or later I was going to have to look, so I slowly dried my hands on a dishtowel, took a couple of what were supposed to be calming breaths, and turned around. Emmett Cullen was standing in my kitchen.

"What…why…something…" I stammered, shaking my head. My words wouldn't form around the wild tangle of thoughts. Why was Emmett here? Why now? Had something happened to Edward? Was Emmett sent to tell me? Or to finally take me with them?

"You're okay," he said, almost like he didn't believe the words he was speaking.

"Okay?" I asked. I wasn't okay. I hadn't been okay since the moment Edward left, and without Jacob, who knows what shape I would have been in? Even so, I was most certainly not okay now. I was completely lost, confused, shocked.

"Alice saw… Well, I just wanted to make sure you're okay," he said, suddenly looking very uncomfortable.

"I'm…fine, I guess," I replied, not knowing how I was really supposed to respond.

"Okay, good then," he said. "I should probably get going."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe he was standing there, and I certainly didn't know what to think of his wanting to leave after only a minute.

"Take care of yourself, Bella," he said as he stepped toward me. But then he stopped, as if he was afraid to come closer, and quickly looked down at the floor as he turned and rushed toward the door.

"Wait!" I practically shouted, hurrying after him.

He stopped for a second, but he didn't turn around, and my heart broke a little more as his hand closed around the doorknob.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't just show up unannounced and unexplained after all this time and then leave. He was my only link to the family I'd considered my own, and I didn't think I could hold it together if he walked out now. I had so many questions, so much that I needed explained, and I didn't know if I'd ever have another chance.

The door flew open then, but instead of watching Emmett walk through it, I watched as he took a couple of steps backward. I let out a relieved breath, thankful that maybe I wasn't going to left wondering any longer, and that's when I saw another pair of golden eyes peering around his massive form, immediately locking with mine.

* * *

Yes, I did. I left it there. And the next chapter, which is about 80% finished, will resolve this little cliffhanger. Your job is to leave a review.

**But more importantly, the Eddies & Bellies are accepting nominations, and for the first time, they have a category specifically for wolfpack fics. If you're not familiar with these awards, they're kind of like the Oscars of fanfiction. Only the biggest and best fics win, and they're finally extending that opportunity to our little niche of the fandom. So go now and nominate your three favorite wolfpack fics. Only the fics with the most nominations will make it into the final round, and I'm gonna be pissed if it ends up being a bunch of stories about how Jake got left behind---which is pretty much a guarantee if all you Jacob lovers don't speak up. There are a lot of great Jake fics out there, so PLEASE nominate a few!  
**

**http://www(dot)thecatt(dot)net/tw/Nomination(dot)aspx (there's also a clickable link on my profile)**


	66. Unexpected: Jacob's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: UNEXPECTED  
(Jacob's POV)**

The red-haired leech was moving faster than we expected, but at least we managed to drive her inland and away from open water. That was the one place she could outrun us. Seth had had been quick about reporting her scent to Sam. Even with the lead she had and the time we wasted standing around in Sam's living room, we caught up with her pretty quickly.

But of course the second we got close she knew it, and she took off faster than I ever would have expected. We fanned out a little, keeping her moving in the direction we wanted and away from populated areas. Unfortunately, she never stopped to take a break, and she never got tired. We, on the other hand, were wearing out.

Jared had stayed behind, not on the rez, but in Forks, keeping an eye on Bella in case it was a trap. But the leech didn't seem quite so organized this time. She was alone, and her constantly changing direction made it look like she didn't have any kind of plan, not even for her escape.

One by one, we dropped off and napped, but never for long. I had thought a couple hours of sleep would do me some good, but sprinting like a madman to catch back up when I woke nearly killed me. The only thing that worked in our favor was the false trails she kept trying to leave. Every so often her scent would lead different directions, and we'd have to split up to check them all. But it also meant she'd wasted time doubling back, and we needed that advantage.

I was determined to catch her this time. She'd been dancing around Forks for too long, getting too close, and while I told Bella it was nothing to worry about, I had to admit I was worried. I knew the pack could protect her. I knew _I_ could protect her. But I remembered how terrified she looked when she realized Victoria was hunting her, and I would have done anything to eliminate that fear.

Of course, there were other people to think about too, even if Bella was the most important one in my mind. We'd been lucky those leeches that were there the night of the fires hadn't actually attacked anyone, but that luck wouldn't last long if we all just sat at home and waited for them to strike again.

My time on the hunt was repetitive: sleep, run, track, sleep, run, track. By Thursday we were all so worn out we hardly 'spoke,' and every of us was thinking of home. If it weren't for Sam's constant urging, not to mention an injunction, the others would have probably left us and gone back after just a day or two. But Sam was determined to do what he was made for, and I was determined to protect Bella.

Jared checked in with us regularly. Even though we could hear his thoughts, and even see what he was seeing if we wanted to, we were so concentrated on the hunt that he was just background noise…until his thoughts were suddenly screaming at us.

'_Vampire!'_

I froze in my tracks, zeroing in on Jared's mind. So did the rest of the pack. For one heart-stopping second, I thought Victoria had deceived us, somehow leading us hundreds of miles from Forks, just so she could get to Bella while we were gone.

The rage that filled me would have been enough to phase into two wolves, if that had been possible. I instantly spun around and shot off toward Forks, racing ahead of the rest of the pack, who wasted no time following. I knew I would be too late. I knew there was nothing I could do to protect her from whatever was about to happen. But getting to her was my only thought. The fact that Jared was there and would fight for Bella hardly registered. I doubted he could easily take on two leeches anyhow, especially when one of them was so big. And then I saw what he was seeing.

A small black haired leech was standing in Bella's doorway, _talking_ to Charlie, and a bigger one stood off to the side nearby. There wasn't even time for Jared to react before---

'_Is it…hugging…Bella?'_

The pack's initial panic quickly morphed into confusion while my own mind struggled to process what was happening. It had been one of my worst fears, and it was taking place right now, when I was too far away to do anything._  
_

"_Jake, what's she doing?'_

'_Is that a Cullen?'_

'_Are they back?'_

'_What about the red-haired one?'_

'_No, we're going back," _said Sam. _"She's made her choice.'_

I had no answers for them. Their questions echoed my own. The Cullens were back, the pack had to stick to the treaty lines, and Bella had made her choice. I had nothing to go home to.

* * *

I got to Forks in the middle of the night and even though I knew it would probably make me miserable, I went straight to Bella's. Sam and the rest of the pack headed home, all except Seth, who was stubbornly insisting that he was not going to miss out on the chance to take down a vampire. I was exhausted, but I was too numb to care. Everything I'd dreamed of had been mine, and now she was gone.

The shades were drawn back from her window, so I was both blessed and tortured with a perfect view. The little one was sitting on Bella's bed, and they were whispering and laughing like the best of friends. I heard Bella call her "Alice." This was the one who could see the future. The other one was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

I didn't talk to anyone when I got home. Dad gave me a sympathetic look, and I didn't even have it in me to be mad at Paul for telling him. At least Paul had saved me the pain of having to say the words aloud. What was I supposed to tell people anyway? That the girl I loved was happier with my enemy? I could barely admit it to myself.

I wanted to call her. I wanted an explanation, an excuse, something…but what would have been the point? Bella had spent all those months wasting away after the damned leeches left, and now they were back. They weren't allowed on our land, and we weren't allowed on theirs. And it was pretty clear to me whose land Bella would be on most of the time.

Here I had been trying to protect her, chasing down a monster that was trying to kill her, and they just had to pick that moment to come back. I tried not to jump to conclusions. I tried to believe that she would have chosen me over him, and I almost convinced myself. In my mind I replayed every second I'd spent with her over the last few weeks, and by the time I snapped out of it, I was halfway to her house.

But I knew better than to put myself through whatever apologetic reasoning she would give me. And to be honest, I was afraid that if the leeches were still there, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from killing one of them. So I turned back, covering the miles home quickly, and flopped down on my bed just seconds after walking in the door.

This was it. I didn't need a "gift" to see my future. My future was empty without Bella.

* * *

Yeah, I know it's short, and I probably could have spent another day pouring over it and adding stuff that doesn't really matter, but I figured you'd rather just have the update since I tortured you with that last chapter. Speaking of which, I should probably thank you all for being such cooperative guinea pigs. Yes, the cliffhanger was kind of a test. You see, I was chatting with some other writers, and one of them pointed out that whenever her reviews lag, she just tosses in a cliffhanger, and people who normally have nothing to say suddenly attack the review button. Now, I'm actually doing okay when it comes to reviews, but I couldn't not test her method. That would be like sitting me in a room and telling me "Don't press that giant flashing red button." Yeah, I would totally push the button. So that's what I did. I pushed the red button, and you all pushed the green one. In fact, in just a couple of days, it became the second highest reviewed chapter with 150 reviews so far. Don't ask me what happened to the other 1050 people who have the story on alert. My guess is that they all died.

Anyhoooooo…I'm way too lazy to plan something out like that again, and the remaining chapters are already mapped out, so don't worry about me putting my newfound knowledge to use. I'm not saying there won't be any more cliffhangers, but I'm not going to just throw an extra one in for the hell of it.

Now review or Jake dies ;)


	67. Closure: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: CLOSURE  
(Bella's POV)**

"Everything okay?" Charlie asked, poking his head around the corner. His brow furrowed more deeply as he took in what I could only imagine was my shocked expression, and he quickly moved to step between Emmett and me. Any other time it would have been funny, Charlie thinking he could protect me from some of the most powerful creatures in existence, but at that moment the humor of the situation was lost.

"Charlie!" Alice exclaimed happily, moving just a little too fast to get around Emmett. Fortunately, Charlie seemed too surprised at seeing her to notice her unnatural speed.

"Alice?" he asked, sounding just as confused as I was. "What are you doing here?" His eyes darted quickly to Emmett, and then narrowed upon recognition before he looked back over at Alice. "I mean…I didn't realize you…"

"I know what you mean, Charlie," she laughed, her perfect musical voice making the moment all the more surreal. "Emmett and I just finished a campus tour in Seattle, and we couldn't be so close and _not_ stop by."

"Oh. Well…ah…you guys hungry? We always have leftovers," he offered, showing his rarely seen hospitable side.

"Oh, no, thank you," she replied sweetly. "We stopped and got a bite on the way."

"Speaking of being on the way…" Emmett said, backing toward the door. "We still have a long drive ahead of us. We should probably hit the road." As if to prove his point, he stepped back outside and waited, looking expectantly back in at Alice.

"Nonsense!" Alice exclaimed. "We have so much catching up to do. How have you been, Charlie?"

I had to hand it to her. She was good. Engaging Charlie in conversation while ignoring Emmett was surely the best way to ensure no one protested. And a part of me wanted to. Catching up? How about explaining? They'd all abandoned me, and yet here they were, standing in my house, acting as if everything was normal. I watched as she laughed and talked to Charlie for a few minutes, not actually hearing a word of it. I was too busy trying to wrap my head around it.

"Bella?" she asked softly, the sound of my name breaking me from my thoughts. I shook myself out of my trance and found Alice and Charlie were both staring at me as if waiting for something.

"Ah…what?" I asked stupidly.

"You girls want to have a slumber party?" Charlie asked.

Slumber party? What was I? Nine? "Ah…sure," I said a bit uncertainly. I had no idea what the night would bring, but I knew it would be my chance to get some answers.

Alice rushed forward to hug me, and for a second I was taken back, back to when I thought I'd have her forever, back when I'd believed that we would be family someday.

"Ok then," Charlie said. "You mind taking the sofa?" he asked Emmett. "I know it's small, but…"

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Chief Swan," Emmett replied stepping back inside and closing the door behind him.

Ten minutes later, the "bed" Emmett wouldn't be using was all set up and Charlie headed off to his own room.

The three of us stood in awkward silence for a few seconds before I just shook my head and walked into the living room. Since I knew Emmett wouldn't be making much use of the sofa, I took a seat on the well worn quilt thrown over it and waited.

"I suppose we owe you an explanation," Alice said apologetically as she seated herself next to me.

Emmett said nothing as he sat down in Charlie's recliner, and though they both appeared to be waiting for me to say something, all I could do was nod.

"I couldn't see you," Alice said, sounding almost guilty.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I just…couldn't see you. I wasn't supposed to be looking, but sometimes I just couldn't help myself, and---"

"You weren't _supposed_ to?" I asked before she could explain further. I had the feeling I knew exactly what she meant, but some masochistic part of me needed confirmation that Edward really wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

"He...I mean, it would just complicate things," she said.

"I see." And I _did_ see. Edward thought so little of me now that he couldn't even be bothered with Alice's visions.

"And you were just gone," she continued. "Look, Bella, I know you're upset, and I'm sorry I can't explain everything---"

"Can't? Or won't?" Emmett interrupted.

Her eyes narrowed menacingly and I instinctively leaned away as she turned to glare at him. "This is all your fault, you know," she spat accusingly.

"My fault?" he laughed hollowly. "I think we both know who's fault this is," he said.

"I'm not the one who decided to be so obvious about it," she argued.

"And I'm not the one who decided not to tell anyone," he countered.

"So you just asked yourself in?"

"What was I supposed to do?" he asked. "I had to be sure."

I had no idea what they were talking about now, but it was pretty clear neither of them planned on elaborating for me. They were too caught up in their vague little heated discussion, and the fact that I was still sitting there didn't seem to register with either of them until Alice slipped.

"Well, now you've upset her," Alice complained.

"Now?" I asked, suddenly very angry. "_Now_ you've upset me? _Now_?" I repeated, my voice rising with every syllable. "Then just what the hell do you call what happened when you left?"

"Bella, please," Alice begged, her eyes wide and pleading. "I never wanted this. You know that. You know me."

"I _thought _I knew all of you," I said angrily. "But then you just disappeared. One minute we were practically family and the next you were gone. Like you never even existed," I added, taking advantage of the words Edward had stunned me with. "I mean, I know his mind was made up, but couldn't you at least have said goodbye? You were supposed to be my best friend," I said, choking through my tears as I struggled to get out those last words.

Alice hugged me again, and this time I couldn't help but cling to her. I was so mad at her, at all of them, but I'd missed them so much.

"Get a room," Emmett suddenly laughed, lightening the mood just enough to slow my crying, and I couldn't help but laugh right along when I looked over at him.

The mischievous twinkle was back in his eyes, and though it was clouded by what may have been guilt or pity, it was the Emmett I'd come to miss so much. He stood up then, an enormous grin taking over his face, and held his arms out to me. I jumped up, knocking my shin painfully against the coffee table, and eliciting another one of his boisterous laughs as I practically threw myself at him. I was nearly crushed, but I didn't care. I didn't know why they were here or if they'd be staying, and I wasn't going to miss my one chance to hold on to two of the most important people in my life.

After what felt like not nearly long enough, I pulled back enough to strain my neck and look up at him. "So…" I hesitated. "The others?"

"They miss the hell out of you, little human," he said.

"Even Rosalie?"

"Even Rose," he replied.

I raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Okay, no, she doesn't," he shrugged. "I tried."

He had me laughing again as a mixture of sadness and joy combined into more tears. "I miss them, too," I whispered, knowing they had no trouble hearing me. "So much."

The silence that settled in this time wasn't awkward or tension-filled, and I knew it was because we were all simply remembering, maybe wishing a little that everything hadn't turned out do badly.

After a few moments, Emmett once again spoke up.

"Okay, ladies, I'm outta here."

"But Charlie---" I protested, worried what Charlie might think if he came downstairs and found Emmett's makeshift bed empty.

"Charlie's snoring," Emmett replied. "He's kind of loud, you know. Besides, I'll be back before you know it," he said with a wink.

It was then that I noticed his eyes weren't as light as Alice's, and he probably just needed to hunt. If not for being in a house that probably reeked of humans, he most likely could have gone a few more days. It must have been a slow torture for him.

* * *

Once Emmett was gone, Alice and I went up to my room, and I changed into my sweats and t-shirt, even though I doubted I'd be getting any sleep. When I came back out of the bathroom she was perched on the edge of my bed, still as a statue, and I wondered briefly if they'd been spending their time away from humans. It seemed strange that she would act so…un-human. But since my window for questions was probably smaller than I would hope, I didn't waste my time trying to satisfy idle curiosity.

"Explain," I said, slipping beneath the covers and pulling my pillow up to recline against the headboard. "What do you mean you can't see me?"

"Well, it's not all the time," she said. Sometimes I get little flashes. You know, like a little glimpse of you when you're at school or cooking dinner, but… It's just not like my other visions. It's like I can't find you sometimes, even when I'm looking for you."

"I don't understand," I said. Alice had never had any trouble seeing me before.

"I don't either," she agreed. "You're right here, but it's like…it's almost like something's blocking me, kind of the way your mind always blocked…," she trailed off before mentioning him, even though it was already obvious what she was going to say.

"Could it be the distance?" I asked. "Or maybe just…since we don't see each other anymore?"

"That's never been a problem before," she said, shaking her head. "And it's getting worse."

"That's bad, isn't it?" I asked, worried that her lack of vision could mean that soon there wouldn't be anything of my future to see.

"It's frustrating," she said, "but what I do see isn't bad."

"So why now?" I finally asked. "I thought you'd all forgotten about me," I admitted.

"Bella!" she gasped, seemingly shocked that I would think that. "You know that's not true."

I wasn't so sure. I mean, I wanted to believe her. But how does someone stay away for so long, without so much as a goodbye, if they really care about you? So I said nothing.

"It's been a couple of weeks since I could see you," she explained. "The last clear vision I had of you was at a party or something…the beach… but then it got all fuzzy and just faded away. I kept thinking I wasn't looking hard enough, and that I'd have another vision any day, but it just didn't happen." She suddenly looked over at the window, cocking her head to the side as if she heard something. Then a sad smile graced her lips and she turned back to me. "I got scared," she said. "I kept telling myself you were fine, but I was afraid…something had happened to you, and I didn't know what to do."

"So you came to check on me," I mumbled, a little disappointed. Why couldn't she have said it was because she missed me?

"No, _I_ came to check on you," Emmett announced, swinging rather gracefully through my open window and landing on his feet without a sound. "She just tagged along," he told me.

"I did not!" Alice insisted. "I was _trying_ to sneak away," she said, giving Emmett a pointed look. "But _someone_ had to get in my way."

"Not my fault you're so obvious," he laughed.

I remained silent, observing their light banter and picking up a few more details. It seemed Alice had tried to sneak off while everyone was hunting, but Emmett just happened to catch her. When she'd finally admitted to him what she was up to, he simply took off without her. I could tell from his expression that he'd been really worried about me, and I wondered if the rest of them would have been so concerned. Actually, I could probably name one who wouldn't have cared at all.

"You're not staying, are you?" I asked, allowing my melancholy train of thought lead to the final question that weighed heavily on me.

"No, I'm sorry. But we can stay tonight," Alice said sadly.

I sighed, accepting it because I had no choice. What I did have, though, were several more hours before they'd have to go.

"So where are you…ah…?" I stammered, not really sure what they'd be okay with my knowing. "So you like where you live now?" I finally asked.

We sat up talking most of the night. Once, around midnight, Charlie apparently decided to check in on us, but before he could even open his bedroom door, Emmett was out the window, back in through the front door, and feigning sleep on the sofa. Charlie gave me a look that told me he thought I was staying up too late, but he chose not to say anything and soon went back to bed. Emmett was back in my room within seconds, and Alice was happily demanding to know everything that was going on in my life.

I really didn't have much to tell them, though. I skipped over the first few months after they left, not wanting to make them feel any guiltier than they already did, and also not wanting to admit what a basket case I'd been. Emmett nearly rocked right out of my rocking chair when I told them about Mike's attempts to trick me into dating him, and Alice looked like she might be having a seizure, she was laughing so hard. I mentioned Angela, and Emmett immediately asked about Ben, which seemed a little strange, but he just smiled and looked oddly proud when I told him they were still together.

The hard part was leaving out Jacob. I wasn't sure how either of them would take it if I said I was seeing someone else, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was _what_ he was. I knew the existence of the pack was a secret, and just like I'd kept the Cullens' secrets, I had to keep theirs. So much of my relationship with Jacob was interwoven with his supernatural side, everything from his killing Laurent to protecting me from Victoria, and once I omitted all those details, I didn't have much left to say.

It's not that our relationship hinged on those things. It's just that so much of _what_ he was was so closely tied with _who_ he was. And I was afraid I'd slip up or, more likely, make it obvious that I was hiding something. So rather than chance exposing the pack, I simply talked about anything else but them.

Leaving the pack out also meant leaving Victoria out, but that was probably a good thing. I knew that there would be no way to explain how I even knew she was after me, much less still being alive in spite of her efforts without spilling every detail. And I owed it to Jacob, and the rest of the pack for protecting me, to keep my mouth shut.

Alice told me all about Carlisle and Esme, describing their new house in astounding detail while somehow leaving out the key things that might have hinted at their location. Emmett told me about travelling through Europe for a while with Rosalie, how she'd taken advantage of the Autobahnen and how he'd finally had to drag her home. The entire family had visited Denali a couple of times, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was one of the "distractions" Edward had been referring to. Alice implied that he was still travelling, but she never directly brought him up, and any time the conversation seemed to be steering toward him, Emmett interrupted with something completely off topic.

Apparently none of the other Cullens had any idea that Alice and Emmett were in Forks, and that's why they had been in such a hurry to get back. Alice had left a note to assure them she and Emmett were fine, but Jasper and Rosalie would be worried nonetheless, not to mention Esme and Carlisle.

"I don't think _them_ worrying is what we should be afraid of," Emmett laughed wryly.

I knew he was talking about Edward. Not that I cared. He'd left me and taken away the family I thought I had. He'd taken Alice away from me, my best friend, and left me all alone to grieve. The fact that he would be mad at them for coming to see me only made me resent him more.

"Why didn't you say goodbye to me?" I asked, feeling my eyelids beginning to grow heavy.

If her face could have paled, I'm sure it would have. She looked so guilty for a moment that I almost regretted opening my mouth.

"He wouldn't let us," she said quietly.

It all made sense now…Alice's guilt…Emmett's anger. Edward wouldn't _let_ them say goodbye to me. Aside from his leaving me, the most hurtful thing he could do was not allow me any closure with the rest of the family. I knew I couldn't have convinced him to stay, and since he didn't love me anymore, it would have been stupid to try to do so, but why would he make it that much more hurtful by denying me the chance to say goodbye to…my family?

"I think he thought it was for the best," Emmett explained.

"For the best? He thought it was _for the best_? Is he stupid?!" I asked angrily, shaking off the sleepiness that was trying to pull me under.

"Yes. Yes, he's stupid," Alice sighed, not at all offended by my outburst.

It was a strange reply, and oddly enough, it made me laugh. Not a gut-busting laugh, but enough to break the tension. Alice took it as an opportunity to abruptly change the subject, and I have to say I was relieved. The last thing I wanted to talk about was how Edward had hurt me.

We spent a little longer pondering the vision thing, why she couldn't see me most of the time, and why she couldn't see me clearly when she did get a glimpse. But we finally decided it was just a fluke, probably caused by our abrupt separation or something, and since there was obviously nothing wrong with me, it wasn't something we should dwell on. Maybe we were just too disconnected now. As far as I was concerned, that was Edward's fault too. As much as I wanted to be mad at all of them, as much as they'd all hurt me when they'd left, I couldn't really blame them for standing by Edward, even if he was in the wrong. It still hurt, but I had to forgive them. And the truth was, this was as close to closure as I was going to get.

* * *

I awoke to Emmett shaking me gently. My alarm was going off, but I'd been too deep in sleep to notice.

"Come on, Bella. You're going to be late to school. Don't want to keep Mike waiting," Emmett laughed.

I groaned.

"And we really should be going," Alice added.

"Can't you stay longer?" I pleaded.

"No, I'm sorry. But I promise I'll call. No one ever has to know," she said.

"That's not true. Edward will know," I replied, seeing her wince at the mention of his name.

"Well, he won't have to know for a while," Emmett said, "Not until he's done traveling."

I sighed heavily, and she wrapped me in a hug. Emmett did the same, and I swear it felt like he kissed the top of my head.

"Please come visit again…if you can," I said hopefully, heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"We'll see," Alice said softly.

And when I came out of the bathroom, they were gone.

* * *

**So either my little cliffhanger experiment was a bust, or threatening to kill off Jacob is just more effective. Either way, you crazy Jacob obsessed fiends left me over 200 reviews for the last chapter. _Two hundred_. That's just amazing. And it kind of guilted me into getting this one finished as fast as possible when I should have been paying bills, doing laundry, and all kinds of other miserable real life stuff. So see? Reviewing pays off for readers, too!**


	68. Closure: Jacob's POV

**Okay, I know you all got together after the last couple of chapters, had a big discussion, and decided to all send me the exact same questions. Don't even try to deny it. I've got the reviews to prove it. But since I have the typing skills of a five year old on crack, I decided to skip replying with the same answer a hundred times and just post it here. Look at it this way: less time replying = more time to write = faster update. Win/win, right?**

1. _Bella should have told Alice & Emmett about Jake._ Ummmm…no. I thought you wanted her to be loyal to Jake…? Then she can't go around spilling his secrets. As far as Bella knows, the Cullens have no idea that these new wolves exist, and if you'll remember her conversation with Alice in New Moon, you know that's exactly the case. Plus, if she _had_ told them, they'd all move back to meddle with/protect her, the Jake/Edward showdown would happen in the next chapter, and then I wouldn't need to write a sequel. And you _do_ want another story, right?

2. _Why didn't they smell Jake? _ Step away from the fanfiction. Seriously. You're getting it mixed up with what really happened in the books. In New Moon, Alice didn't immediately wrinkle up her nose and demand to know what that wet dog smell was. In fact, she didn't do any noticeable sniffing until Bella actually told her about the wolves, and that was _after_ Bella had morphed into a barnacle and attached herself to Alice, not only trying to hug her into a second death, but then sitting in her lap while they talked. And to think that Bella had just been all snuggled up with Jake in her truck! If Alice didn't immediately notice the scent of wolf when it was fresh, why would she notice it in a room that Jake hadn't been in for a while? Remember, not only has Jake been gone for several days, but he also didn't get any sleepover time with Bella for a good while before he left.

3. _I don't understand why Charlie was so cool about Alice & Emmett being there. _My guess would be the same reason he was cool with Alice being there in New Moon. He didn't have any kind of bad reaction to Alice. He just wanted to make sure they weren't _all_ back, and once he confirmed that, life was good. In fact, the next morning he made a point of telling Alice that he didn't blame her or her family, just Edward. In _my_ story, Charlie has just been told that Emmett and Alice were doing some lame campus tour, and Emmett's itching to hit the road. So it's pretty obvious to him that the family, namely Edward, is firmly planted somewhere else. Yes, I do use the books for a LOT of fact checking.

4. _You forgot/didn't explain/ignored…whatever._ I'm not going to pretend I have never forgotten anything, and I've been getting reviews and PMs along these lines since around the beginning of the fic. I can't even remember what some of the first comments were, but more recently I've had readers tell me I forgot that that Sue became part of the tribal council and should therefore know what her kids are, that Paul should have smelled the Cullens before they were in the house & vice versa, and of course that Alice and Emmett should have smelled Jake in Bella's house. Here's the thing: You're welcome to send me a message if you think I've overlooked some important detail. I'd rather someone catch it than let it slip by. But please don't just assume that because I haven't mentioned it, I've made a huge mistake. As I'm sure most of you have figured out by now, I don't explain things immediately after they happen. I would much rather them fall into place within the natural story flow than disrupt a chapter by tossing in extra info before I've planned to. In fact, there's still a detail from the very beginning of the story (chapter 2 or 3 if I remember correctly) that has yet to be explained---that won't happen until the sequel.

5. This is where I get to ask a question. In New Moon, Alice told Charlie that Edward wasn't living with them, that he was off "somewhere in South America." Huh? Isn't Edward a senior in high school? Isn't he supposed to be finishing the semester so he can graduate? Isn't he a little young to be travelling alone in a foreign country? And why the hell doesn't his family know his exact whereabouts? Charlie's a dad and a cop. Shouldn't he find this the least bit odd? Am I the only one who's bothered about this?

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: CLOSURE**  
**(Jacob's POV)**

I don't know how I did it, but I slept. No tossing and turning, no dreams, no…anything. But I suppose that's because the part of me that was capable of dreaming wasn't capable at anything at all that night. Waking up wasn't so uneventful, though.

The second the sunlight slipped through my barely opened eyes, the sights and sounds of the night before slammed into me with a force even I wasn't strong enough to withstand. My head spun and my stomach churned, and jumped from bed, running toward the bathroom and shoving Rachel out of my way to get there. I heaved the contents of my stomach, all the while wishing it was as easy to purge the pain in my heart.

Paul nearly ripped the door off its hinges to get to me, and I could hear the crumbling as the ineffective spring in the baseboard buckled and the doorknob embedded itself into sheetrock. I didn't even look up, expecting he was there to kick my ass for pushing Rachel, and in a way I welcomed that. Anything would have been better than what I was feeling right now. But after a moment I only heard him sigh, and a second later his footsteps carried back down the hall away from me.

I needed to get it together. I needed to think straight and figure this out.

What if I was wrong? What if the leeches were at Bella's for some other reason? No, I didn't have a clue what other reason there could possibly be, but anything would be better than losing her. I just couldn't lose her.

There was a knock on the already open door, but I didn't bother looking up. I just slumped back against the side of the tub and tried to get a grip on myself. I was completely freaking out to the point of being sick, and I really didn't know anything yet.

"Jake?"

"Not now, Dad," I said, slumping back against the side of the tub.

"Well, make it soon," he said. "Sam wants to see you."

* * *

"You okay?" Emily asked as soon as I walked in.

I shook my head instead of actually answering and plunked down in a chair across from Sam. He was finishing the last of his breakfast, and he didn't even look up when I sat down. Emily set a cup of coffee and a plate with a couple of biscuits in front of me, and I tried to smile my thanks, but I knew it fell short. She just patted me on the shoulder and went into the living room, where she flipped on the TV and started watching some soap opera crap.

"Have you talked to her?" Sam finally asked, still chewing his last bite.

"Not yet," I told him.

"You plan to?" he asked.

Of course I planned to. I _had_ to. I was just dreading it. "Yeah."

"You know we can't protect her," he said. "The treaty---"

"I know about the damned treaty," I snapped.

Is if one problem wasn't enough for me, the treaty restricted us from guarding outside La Push. Not only did my girlfriend have leeches in her house, but now some stupid treaty that was probably a hundred years old stood in the way of my protecting her. The Cullens had their territory, and we had ours. Except Bella was standing in theirs.

"That gonna be a problem for you?" Sam asked.

Was he serious? What part of it _wasn't _a problem for me? Any other guy would have been able to walk into his girlfriend's house, kick the ex-boyfriend's ass, and be done with it. But not me. No, _I_ had to worry about losing control with Bella's vampire houseguests and accidentally hurting her. _I_ had to worry about breaking some old treaty that I never even got a say in making. _ I_ had to worry that she might choose them, that they would turn her into one of them.

"No," I sighed, not really wanting to spill my guts to Sam.

He gave me a weird look, kind of like he didn't believe me, but he didn't say anything. After a couple of seconds, he got up and took his plate to the sink. I sat there like an idiot while he grabbed his keys and kissed Emily goodbye. Apparently he had places to go or something, and leaving me at his kitchen table was just fine with him. I didn't care where I was anyway. Everything inside me was still all jumbled up and hurting.

"Jake?" Emily called softly.

I turned and saw her patting the sofa cushion beside her, so I dragged myself on in there.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked.

I just shook my head. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to figure it out and _do _something about it. The Cullens were back, Bella was happy with them, and I was…I didn't know what I was, but it wasn't good.

"Okay, then," she said. "You can listen."

I let my head drop against the back of the sofa and closed my eyes. I really just wanted to go to sleep and forget that whatever was going on ever happened.

"She calls every day, you know," Emily started. "As soon as she gets home from school, she calls to see if you're back. I'm actually kind of surprised," she laughed. "The way she looks at you when you're together…the way she sounds when I tell her you're still gone…I half expected her to be camping out at your house by now."

She stopped talking for a minute and flipped through some channels, and I didn't say a word. I knew how Bella looked at me. I saw how much she loved me, and that's what was making this so hard. I couldn't believe she'd leave me, but then I saw them, those _things, _and everything I was afraid of came to the surface. What if it wasn't enough? What if the time we'd spent together and the way she was around me wasn't enough. What if _I_ wasn't enough?

"Sam says you can't protect her," she finally continued. "But he's wrong. Just because you can't hunt vampires in her backyard doesn't mean you can't look out for her. I know you haven't talked to her yet, but you're only kidding yourself if you think it's better this way."

"I don't," I sort of mumbled. "It hurts like hell."

"Why? Because you don't know what's going on?" she asked. "Because that's your own doing. You could have called her. Hell, you could've gone to see her, but instead you're moping around here."

I shook my head. "I wanted to go over there…you know? I just wanted to see her. But I was so pissed off, and I couldn't…what if I lost it? What if I ended up hurting her like…?" Shit. I knew better than to finish the question, but it was too late. Emily knew exactly what I meant.

"Then you did the right thing," she replied, and I immediately felt guilty for even bringing it up.

I knew Emily was sensitive about what had happened. I mean, who wouldn't be? Sam hurt her---_bad_---and it probably just made it worse that we all knew about it. He spent so much time hating himself, and she spent so much time forgiving him, and here I was bringing it all up again.

"But what if she's already gone? What if I'm too late? I shouldn't have come home. I shouldn't have gone to sleep. I was sleeping and she was probably packing." My words were rushed and sounded just as scattered and panicked as I felt.

"Do really think that?" she asked.

"No," I sighed. And it was the truth. I was just so scared that I might be wrong.

"Wanna know what I think?" Emily asked.

"No." She was just going to tell me I was being stupid, which I already knew.

"I think Bella's at school right now, and she's going to call today just like she's done every day. You can either hide here on the rez you can clean yourself up and go see her. She's been waiting for you, Jacob. She missed you and worried about you and waited for you."

"I know, but---"

"No buts. You either love her enough to face her, or you don't. Maybe you find out she's leaving, and you get some closure. Or maybe you find out you're an idiot, and she's just crazy enough to hang onto you. But either way, you find out something, and you're not stuck here wondering about it. It's that simple."

"I can't…I…what if I say the wrong thing?" I asked. "What if I screw this up?"

"Bella loves you," she said, as if that solved everything.

I only hoped we were both right about that.

* * *

I was halfway to Forks when Sam happened to phase and caught me. He probably wasn't thrilled about where I was going, but what he really had a problem with was the fact that I was running around in wolf form. The second I felt his mind imposing on mine, I phased back. Running as a human was easy enough anyway, even if it wasn't nearly as invigorating

I didn't see what the big deal was anyhow. Yeah, I knew we weren't supposed to patrol Forks if the Cullens were back. But why did that have to mean I couldn't phase? It's not like I was planning on stopping off at their house or cave or whatever they lived in. The truth was that I didn't want to see them at all.

I circled by her house first, praying that her truck wouldn't be there. Sure enough, the driveway was empty, and even though I kept telling myself that was a good sign, that it must mean she was in school, I couldn't just wait around to find out. I jogged over to the high school after that, slowing my pace to something a little more "normal" since I was in the main part of town in the middle of the day, and I just about fell to my knees when I saw that rusted up hunk of metal parked all crooked at the edge of the lot.

She was still here. I could still breathe. For now.

* * *

**Now, if you skipped my encyclopedia-length author's note, go back and read it. It took me fourteen years to type it all out for you, and I don't plan on doing it again.**

**And review! Your sudden affinity for leaving reviews is the #1 reason I'm updating so often. Well, that and I really want to get started on the sequel.**


	69. Honesty: Bella's POV

As if I didn't already have enough trouble concentrating in class, the surprise visit from Alice and Emmett had me completely distracted. Between old feelings and completely unexpected new ones, I didn't know what to feel.

I honestly never thought I would see them again. They were too thorough to leave behind any clues, and staying under the radar was something they were simply too good at. They could have been anywhere in the world, living under newly assumed names, reinventing themselves as just about anything. I had thought I knew them so well, but once they were gone I realized I didn't know nearly enough to stand a chance at finding them.

I'd often imagined accidentally running into one of them somewhere. Maybe I'd go away to college and a roommate would drag me to a mall where we'd stumble upon Alice. Maybe I'd be on vacation and end up in the ER, only to find myself face to face with Carlisle. Or maybe twenty years from now I end up teaching in some small town where they were once again posing as high school students. Whatever the case, I'd never imagined that it would happen like it did…or that I would lash out at them like I did.

To be honest, I felt a little bad about it. It wasn't their fault Edward insisted on leaving. Sure, the way it played out was terrible, but they were a family. I couldn't expect them to just let him leave without them, and I certainly didn't want to be the reason their family fell apart. But as hurt as I still was, and as angry as I'd become, I still missed them all so much that I was grateful for even the few hours Alice and Emmett had spent with me.

I had missed Emmett's booming laughter and Esme's kind, motherly ways. I missed Carlisle calm compassion and Alice's infectious happiness. I missed Jasper's quiet understanding and Rosalie's fierce but loyal disposition. And even though he hurt me, and even though I had a million questions for him, I still missed Edward.

* * *

I pulled into the driveway and rushed inside, leaving all my things in the truck in my hurry to get to the phone. I stood there for a second, staring at the numbers on the handset, and closed my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I told myself that today would be the day. Today I would call Emily and she would tell me Jacob was on his way home.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Emily, it's Bella," I said, knowing there was no reason to explain my call.

"_Is everything okay?_" she asked.

"Ah…yeah," I replied. Why would she ask me that? "I just wanted to see if…maybe you've heard from them?"

"_Oh…ah…well…_" she stammered. "_They're not here._"

"Okay," I sighed. "Thanks anyway."

I normally felt a little guilty after I called her. Even though she was probably one of the nicest people I knew, it's not like we talked a lot or hung out or anything. But she was my only connection to Jacob right now, and we both knew that he was the only reason I was calling. It seemed a little selfish of me, but I hoped she understood. After all, Sam was out there, too, and for all that she appeared to simply accept things the way they were, I couldn't imagine she wasn't consumed by the same kind of worry I was dealing with.

Today was different, though. Today she actually seemed a little surprised to hear from me---which was odd because I'd been calling her every day since Jake left. And then it was like she didn't know how to answer me. Every other time I'd called she'd apologetically told me no and then assured me they would be fine and would be home soon. Her hesitation today had me worried, but short of calling her back and bothering her some more, there was really nothing I could do.

I dragged myself back outside to retrieve by bag and books from the truck and settled myself in the living room, spreading my homework across the top of the coffee table. But the books and blank sheets of paper just sat untouched while my mind wandered again.

I wished I could have told them about Jacob. I had enough secrets to keep, and having a boyfriend shouldn't have been one of them. I knew it would be a little weird to talk to the Cullens about him, and maybe they would have been a little sad that I'd had to move on, but it's not like they would have been upset with me. After all, God only knew what Edward had been up to these past several months. Emmett probably would have teased me, and Alice would have wanted to know everything about him. And that was the problem.

As much as I loved the Cullens, I loved Jacob, too. It was only because he already knew what they were that I was able to talk to him about them. I hated that he thought of them as soulless monsters, but at least I didn't have to hide things from him. Unfortunately, the Cullens had never even hinted at the existence of werewolves, and while I knew they had a treaty with the Quileutes, I had no idea if they knew that there were wolves living here _now. _And it's not like I needed to warn them or anything. They abided by the rules of the treaty, staying away from La Push without any interference from me, and that meant none of the wolves could touch them. Maybe if Alice kept her word and stayed in touch with me I could think of a way to ask her about it without really divulging anything I shouldn't.

I sighed and tried again to focus on my homework. I hadn't heard a word in class, and studying now was the only way I was going to absorb any of it, but it was pointless. After a few more minutes, I just gave up, leaving all my stuff where it was and going upstairs.

My room felt strangely empty after having had company the night before. The empty rocking chair and my unmade bed bore no sign of last night's visit, and I almost had trouble convincing myself it was real. Had it not been for my almost yelling at the two of them, I would have thought my memory of Alice and Emmett's visit was nothing more than another daydream.

A soft breeze blew the room, the curtains fluttering in its wake, reminding me that my window had been left wide open all day. I was normally pretty good about closing it, and even when Edward used to sneak in at night, I'd always kept it only a few inches open to keep out the constant rain. I guess I was lucky that today had been one of those rare overcast but clear days. I certainly didn't need to push my luck, though, and I walked over to push it shut, only to be stopped short by the sight of Jacob. He was standing just at the edge of the yard, back near the trees, watching me.

I don't remember closing the window or running down the stairs. I'm not even sure if I made it across the yard without falling. The only thing that registered was the comforting warmth and earthy scent of his skin as I pressed my face into his chest. He was home and in one piece, and I was in heaven.

"I missed you," I tried to say, my words muffled against him.

He didn't say anything, but he really didn't have to. Just having his arms wrapped so tightly around me, pulling me up so that my toes barely brushed the ground…it was enough. We stayed like that forever, his lips pressing into my hair every so often, both of us just breathing each other in. Finally, after what felt like forever and not nearly long enough, he loosened his hold enough for me to slip back to the ground and look up at him.

He looked…sad. There I was, thrilled beyond words that he was finally back, and though I knew he was just as happy to see me, something in his eyes was just off.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Maybe we can take a walk, though?"

He nodded his head toward the trees and tugged at my hand, and I took a step forward before every instinct I had shrieked in protest. I'd been here before, made this same walk before, faced the end of everything that mattered before.

"Bella?" he prodded, his eyes now filled with concern.

I just shook my head and dug my heels in. I felt that tension, that atmosphere that screamed that something wasn't right. I remembered those words, those cold eyes, running and falling and losing myself among the thick walls of trees. No. No way was he leading me into the woods, under the guise of talking, just to leave me.

"Come on," he said. "There's nothing out there that I can't protect you from, and there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Can't we just go inside?" I asked, my words coming out shaky and soft.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," he said. "Come on," he urged, "We won't go far."

But I just couldn't. "No," I said. "I don't…I can't go there."

"What?" he asked, sounding genuinely surprised. "Why would you think…_oh_."

I was glad he understood because I really didn't have an explanation that would make much sense. Just because one boyfriend had dumped me in the woods didn't mean it was now an official break-up spot. It just wasn't a memory I wanted to revisit. "Can't we just go inside?" I asked again.

He tensed and gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher, but then he nodded and we walked toward the house, his grip on my hand tightening with every step.

The second we were inside, his gaze darted around anxiously, almost like he expected someone to suddenly jump out at us. He pulled me closer and stayed right behind me as we walked upstairs, his body almost curled defensively over me. I supposed it had something to do with Victoria, and since he hadn't come home grinning from ear to ear and wanting to celebrate, I feared maybe she had slipped past the pack and was already planning her next attack on me. But talking about her would have to wait.

I walked over to the bed to sit, scooting up to lean against the headboard and moving over as far as I could so he could join me. But he didn't. Instead, he started pacing, staring too intently at everything his gaze landed upon, and finally walking over to the window and yanking it wide open.

"There's something I need to tell you," he said, his voice sounding defeated and resigned.

I knew it had to do with Victoria's probable escape, and I honestly didn't care about that. I just wanted to get the Cullens' visit out in the open. For one, someone in the pack was bound to pick up on their scent sooner or later, and I didn't want any of them worrying more than they had to. Not to mention the fact that I didn't want to keep it from Jacob. He probably wouldn't be happy that they'd been by, but he still needed to know.

"Okay," I said, "But can I go first? I just…I don't care about Victoria right now. Something happened while you were gone."

He was still facing the window and staring outside, and I couldn't see his expression. But his posture didn't change, so I took that as a good sign and let the words rush out.

"Alice and Emmett Cullen were here, just to check on me because they were worried because Alice's visions aren't working, and they're gone now, but Alice might call me sometime, and I just don't want you guys to notice their scent or whatever and think there're more vampires around because there aren't." There. That wasn't so hard after all. "Oh, and I didn't tell them anything about the pack because I know that's a secret," I added. "Um…Alice might call me, though. At least she said she would."

"What about him?" Jacob asked, still not turning around. Maybe he was more upset than I thought.

"I don't think so," I said. "I mean, Emmett and I get along just fine, but I was always closer to Alice. I guess he _could_ call," I conceded, "But he doesn't seem like someone who likes to gossip on the phone, you know?"

His shoulders fell then, but before I could just ask him what his problem was he asked the one question I should have expected.

"What about Edward?" he asked, finally turning toward me, his words little more than a whisper.

"I…I don't really know anything about him," I replied. "He's on another continent, if that means anything. And apparently it's his fault that everyone left without telling me goodbye." I really didn't know what else to tell him.

He walked over to the bed and sat down next to me, let out a huge sigh, and then dragged me into his lap. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" I asked, trying to pull back and look at him. But he held me too tightly for me to move.

"I'm so stupid," he mumbled. "I shouldn't…I…"

"Jake, what's going on?" I asked. "If this is about Victoria, I don't care. I'm safe with you," I said, hoping to ease his worry.

"I got home last night," he admitted quietly.

This time he let me go when I pulled back, and had he not quickly grabbed my shoulder, I would have tumbled right off the bed.

"You what?" I asked, hoping I'd heard him wrong. He just nodded sheepishly. "You were back and you didn't…didn't come see me or call me or anything?" I asked, my voice rising with each word. Last night. Last night when I needed to know he was safe, when I wanted to know what I could tell Alice and Emmett, when I missed him so much it hurt. He was home last night, and he stayed away.

"I swear there's a good reason," he pleaded, "And a really stupid one, too," he added quietly.

I just looked at him, waiting for him to explain.

"You know Jared stayed behind to watch you, right?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I mean, I assumed someone would stay, but I didn't know who."

"Well, it was Jared," he said. "And he did a shitty job of it. He was supposed to be here, but instead he snuck off to meet Kim, and when he came back, they were here." He paused for a minute, a flash of something that looked a lot like pain overtaking his expression until he took a deep breath and continued. "I saw them, Bella. I saw them in his mind, and I thought maybe…I thought _he _was back for you."

"And?"

"And I know we talked about things before, but I couldn't help it," he said pleadingly. "I just …I can't lose you, and seeing them just made it seem…it made it seem like it was happening. And I was so far away that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't tell you I love you or beg you to stay…." He trailed off, swiping his hand across his eyes quickly, and though I didn't see any tears, I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was just barely holding them back.

"I know it was dumb," he continued. "I know you wouldn't just leave like that, but it still scared me, you know?" He waited for me to nod before he went on. "I came straight here, and I saw you. You were talking to the little one---"

"Alice," I interjected.

"You were talking to Alice, and you were so happy. And it just made me so mad because they hurt you. They hurt you and they left you alone with that crazy leech after you."

"They didn't know that," I said, as if saying it out loud would somehow make it make sense.

"But that's what happened. And here I was trying to protect you from all the trouble _they _caused, and they just come back, and you're all happy to see them. I wanted to kill them, Bella," he admitted. "I wanted to destroy them for what they did to you."

"But you left," I said, needing him to explain more.

"I didn't have a choice," he sighed. "I was freaking out, and I was too mad. If I'd...I could have hurt you. I could have lost it, and I just couldn't take that chance."

His entire posture just drooped down, his chin nearly touching his chest as he hung his head in apparent shame. I wanted to reach out to him, reassure him that he wouldn't hurt me. But at the same time, his explanation didn't change the fact that he'd left me to worry about him when I just needed to know he was okay.

"They were only here to check on me," I said instead. "And you could have called. I would have…I don't know exactly what I would have done, but I wouldn't have gone another day not seeing you. "

He looked up, visibly ashamed and a little more hopeful. "Did you tell them about me?" he asked.

The second the word "No" left my mouth, I could almost see something in his eyes die, and I immediately realized how that must have sounded. "I didn't know what I _could_ tell them," I explained. "I wanted to, Jake. I _really_ did, but I was afraid I was going to give something away that I shouldn't. You know me," I said. "I'm an awful liar."

"Yeah, but you could have left out the pack stuff," he replied.

"But that's what you_ are_, Jake. How am I supposed to explain _us_ without _that?" _I asked. "You saved me from Laurent. And you _keep _saving me from Victoria. And what if they wanted to meet you? How was I supposed to explain where you were? Alice would have seen right through me."

"I know," he admitted, sounding disappointed.

"I don't know how to explain it, Jacob." Just trying to find the words with him was frustrating enough. I could only imagine how difficult it might have been explaining it to someone who wasn't supposed to know certain details. "I wanted to tell them, but I didn't want to cause any more problems. And you're my best friend," I said. "I'm happy around you. I can be myself around you, and when I'm with you, I don't have to keep all these crazy secrets. You're my…you're my everything," I finally said.

He reached for my hand and pulled me back into his lap, and I didn't resist, curling up and resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm an idiot," he said, his hand moving in circles over my back. "I keep screwing everything up."

I leaned back just enough to look at him and put my hands on either side of his face, looking into those sad eyes again. "I think this is normal, Jake," I said. "We're normal, but everything around us isn't. We should be worrying about….I don't know…prom and stuff like that, and instead we're stuck with secrets and treaties and things right out of a horror movie."

"So you're not mad at me?" he asked.

"Of course I'm mad at you," I said. "But I'll get over it. And I love you."

He nodded, and I dropped my hands from his face, not really sure what to say next. He leaned forward slowly and kissed me, then rested his forehead against mine. We both jumped a little when we heard a door shut, followed shortly by Charlie's voice.

"Bells?"

"He has the worst timing," Jake whispered.

"Upstairs, Dad!" I yelled over my shoulder.

"Thought you had to work?" Charlie called from below.

"Crap!"

I scrambled off Jake's lap too quickly, this time succeeding in falling off the bad. If I hadn't been so happy to see him smiling again, I would have been mad at him for laughing at me. He just folded his hands behind his head and grinned, watching me as I grabbed a change of clothes and ran to the bathroom to get ready. I collided with Charlie in the hallway and only managed to remain upright because he grabbed my shoulders.

"Whoa there, Bells. Slow down before you hurt yourself."

"Sorry," I mumbled, stepping around him. "Running late!" I called as I shut the bathroom door.

I changed as quickly as I could and took a look in the mirror. Big mistake. My hair was a disaster, frizzed and tangled, so I pulled it back into a messy ponytail and hoped that would do. I grabbed my shoes and ran back to my room to kiss Jacob goodbye. Only he wasn't there. Instead, there was a note on my pillow, his messy writing scrawled across a torn sheet of notebook paper.

_ Bells,  
Sorry I'm an idiot. Glad you love me anyway.  
I'll make it up to you—promise. See you tonight.  
Love,  
Jake_

* * *

ABOUT THE SEQUEL: Since so many of you have asked…

I'm not sure what the name will be---I keep changing my mind.

I don't know how many more chapters there will be of Breathe Again. I only know what still has to happen before the end, and it's not much.

There's only one sure way to know when I post the sequel: put me on author alert. If you don't have an FFn account, now would be the time to get one. And if you don't want to do that, then bookmark my profile and keep checking it.

Oh, and the POV thing. The sequel won't be in dual-POV like this story is. Yes, there will be different POVs, but I'm not going to restrict myself to going back and forth. I'm just going to write from whichever POV I want to tell the scene in, and while there will almost certainly be some overlap, there's not going to be a rigid format.


	70. Honesty: Jacob's POV

It seems that a lot of you haven't had a chance to read the last chapter I posted, as many of you who are good about reviewing every chapter haven't spoken up yet. But that just means you'll have more to read now when you get back from all your holiday fun, right? So Merry Christmakwanzakah....here's Jake:

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: HONESTY  
(Jacob's POV)  
**

I was tempted to wait right there at the school for her, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that we didn't need an audience. She was probably going to be pissed once I told her I'd gotten home the night before, and when I told her the reason I'd stayed away from her for almost a whole extra day…well, I guess I was pretty screwed.

Yeah, I was still a bit scared she'd pick Cullen over me. I mean, who wouldn't be? Sure, he was dead and all, but that never seemed to matter to her. And she was beautiful and smart and just…well,she was kind of perfect. In my head, I knew I was better for her than he was. I was breathing, I could protect her from his kind, and I would never leave her. But in my heart, there was always a nagging worry that she wouldn't think that was enough, and I wondered if love was this terrifying for everyone or if it was just me.

I had no excuse. I should have had more faith in her, more faith in _us._ Of course, now I'd gone and messed things up so badly that I'd be lucky if she still even wanted to talk to me. I was pretty sure that once I explained why I'd freaked out so bad, she wouldn't be too mad at me. As long as I made sure she knew that it wasn't a matter of trust, that it was just me being…I don't know…insecure? As long as I made sure she knew that, she'd probably forgive me. But staying away like I did was going to get me into some real trouble with her.

God, I was such an idiot! When that annoying Lauren girl lied to Bella about me, Bella had come to me immediately. She asked me about it, she listened, and she didn't run away. But I did. I ran away twice---once when I found those stupid tickets, and then again when I saw the leeches.

I knew I'd done the right thing by not confronting her the second I got home. I was way too unstable to be around her right then, not really mad at her, but just mad in general. And she was in enough danger without me losing control and phasing right next to her. I couldn't chance that. But I could have called her. It's not like I would have put her in any danger if I'd phased while we were on the phone, right?

Emily was right. I needed to talk to her, and I needed to do it as soon as possible. The problem now was where to do it. I couldn't very well walk into her school and pull her out of class. And I didn't want to do it in the parking lot with a bunch of people staring at us. What I really wanted to do was go to her house and wait in her room, but the leeches might still be there. After all, they'd been there all night from what I'd seen. And it probably wouldn't look good if we started a vampire-werewolf war in her living room. But what was I supposed to do? Go all the way back home and do it over the phone?

No, I needed to do this face to face and as soon as possible. I might not be able to wait in her room, but I could wait nearby. She'd go straight home after school, and I could catch her before she went in. Plus, if the wind cooperated, the leeches might not even know I was there until Bella and I had everything worked out. And we _would _work everything out. We had to.

* * *

I heard her truck before I saw it. It was kind of impossible not to. But then I chickened out. I hid like a coward in the trees instead of running up to her like I should have. Telling myself I needed to talk to her was a whole lot different than actually doing it. Doing it meant really admitting that I had done something stupid, and as much as I hoped it would all be okay in the end, it still scared the hell out of me. I just needed a couple of seconds to pull myself together, and then I'd go up to the house, knock, and keep my fingers crossed that I wouldn't screw things up.

She cut the engine off before the truck had even stopped rolling, and the door slammed loudly as she jumped out and almost ran into the house. I wasn't sure if she was running to them or running to the phone, but I knew which one I was hoping for. And then nothing.

Outside and in the woods wasn't the best place for eavesdropping, not that I really should have been doing that anyway. But still, from where I stood, the house seemed empty. The downstairs shades were closed, blocking my only real way of knowing what she was doing. Well, I guess I could have just gone in, but that was too big of a risk, thanks to the leeches.

I could smell them. There were two distinct scents, faint but lingering around the house. I imagined it was only worse inside. And one of them had obviously come back here in the woods at some point, as there was a clear trail leading away from the house. But the fact that I could only detect two was definitely a good sign. I'd only seen two through Jared's mind, and I'd only seen one of them with my own eyes. And neither was the one I had been so worried about. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I was starting to think he hadn't been here.

It was like time just stopped. I knew I needed to go talk to her, but I couldn't force my feet in that direction. For forty five minutes I waited without a sign. I strained to hear voices, but there was only silence. Suddenly I caught a flicker of movement from the corner of my eye, and I stepped forward out of the woods, sure I'd seen something through the open shades of her bedroom window. Sure enough, she walked right up to it then, and she looked…sad. It didn't look like anyone was with her---at least she wasn't talking to anyone. I watched as she started to push the window shut, and then she froze, her eyes locking on mine.

In the next second she was gone, and I could make out the faint sound of her footsteps crashing down the stairs. She burst through the door, leaving it wide open behind her, and surprisingly enough, she didn't even stumble as she rushed right at me. In an instant she was wrapped around me, her breath warm against my skin.

"I missed you," I heard her say, and my heart swelled at her words.

I gripped her as tightly as I dared, picking her right up off the ground, wanting to never let go. I was almost too lost in the feeling of having her in my arms again to notice that she smelled just like Bella, no trace of vampire at all. My heart lifted a little at that realization, but then guilt for what I'd thought immediately weighed it back down. I finally let her go, making sure her feet were firmly on the ground again before stepping back just a little.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," I told her. It wasn't completely a lie. I was okay, but I'd be a lot better once I got everything off my chest. "Maybe we can take a walk, though?"

The last thing I needed to do was go into a house filled with leeches. Okay, maybe "filled" was an exaggeration, but two of them, one of me, and one very breakable Bella was not a good combination. And since I didn't want them hearing every word I said, I wanted to get a little further away from the house. I motioned toward the woods and took her hand, but after only one step, she froze. The look on her face was something I don't think I'd ever seen before. It was fear, but it was worse.

"Bella?"

She shook her head and her fingers dug into my hand. Did she think Victoria was out there or something?

"Come on. There's nothing out there that I can't protect you from," I told her, "and there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Can't we just go inside?" she asked.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," I said. "Come on, we won't go far."

"No," she said. "I don't…I can't go there."

"What? Why would you think…_oh_." The woods. The place where that damn leech left her, where she got lost, and where Sam found her. I just couldn't do anything right.

"Can't we just go inside?" she repeated.

I _really _didn't want to. I almost asked if we could just drive somewhere or walk down the street. But it dawned on me that this might actually be good. So far I was handling myself just fine, right? And as much as I didn't trust them, Bella felt safe around those bloodsuckers. And this way they would _know_ she was mine, that I wasn't giving her up. So I nodded, steeled myself for what was ahead, and started toward the house.

The stench wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it got worse as we walked up the stairs, and I could feel my body instinctively reacting. Every nerve twitched with the need to phase, the need to protect Bella from the danger. And it was Bella who kept me from doing so. I focused on her instead, holding my breath as I watched her hair sway with each step and feeling her palm rub against mine as she walked ahead of me. And they weren't there. They'd been there recently, but they were gone---at least for now.

Bella sat down on the bed, but I couldn't stay still. I was still too tense and the smell wasn't helping. When I couldn't stand it anymore, I yanked the window open, grateful for the clean breeze that instantly blew in. "There's something I need to tell you," I said, praying I could find the right words to make her understand.

"Okay, but can I go first?" she asked.

She wasn't leaving me. I knew that much. And whatever she had to say couldn't be worse than what I'd imagined, so I just waited.

"Alice and Emmett Cullen were here, just to check on me because they were worried because Alice's visions aren't working, and they're gone now, but Alice might call me sometime, and I just don't want you guys to notice their scent or whatever and think there're more vampires around because there aren't. Oh, and I didn't tell them anything about the pack because I know that's a secret. Um…Alice might call me, though. At least she said she would." She spewed her words like she was anxious to get rid of them, and she sounded nervous, like she was afraid _I'd_ be mad at _her_. Little did she know that I'd already gone through all my anger. Now I was just feeling desperate.

"What about him?" I asked, trying my hardest to keep my voice neutral. I didn't want her reacting to my overreacting if I could help it, at least not before I'd had a chance to explain.

"I don't think so," she said. "I mean, Emmett and I get along just fine, but I was always closer to Alice. I guess he _could_ call, but he doesn't seem like someone who likes to gossip on the phone, you know?"

I didn't actually know who Emmett was, but I was guessing he was the big one I'd seen. And while part of me was happy that she didn't immediately think of _him,_ I was disappointed that I would have to actually ask about him by name.

"What about Edward?" I asked, finally turning around to look at her.

"I…I don't really know anything about him," she said. "He's on another continent, if that means anything. And apparently it's his fault that everyone left without telling me goodbye."

The leech smell was fading some, even though it still burned a little every time I inhaled. But I felt more in control now, not so ready to snap. I walked over to her and sat down. It was go time, and I was dreading her reaction. I pulled her into my lap and said the one thing that really covered it all. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" she asked.

"I'm so stupid. I shouldn't…I…" I knew what I needed to say, but I just didn't know how.

"Jake, what's going on?" she asked. "If this is about Victoria, I don't care. I'm safe with you.

That just made me feel worse. She trusted me so much, and it felt like I just didn't deserve it. "I got home last night," I practically whispered.

And there it was, the reaction I was dreading. She lurched away from me, losing her balance, and if I hadn't moved quickly, she would have fallen to the floor. She stared at me with disbelief, as well as a bit of that anger I was hoping to avoid.

"You what?" she asked.

I nodded, knowing she'd heard me the first time. She just didn't want to believe it.

"You were back and you didn't…didn't come see me or call me or anything?" She was close to yelling, and I deserved it.

"I swear there's a good reason," I told her, hoping that she'd give me a chance to explain. "And a really stupid one, too," I said…because that was the truth. She didn't say anything, so I went on. I told her how Jared had stayed behind to guard her, how he'd left her unprotected, how we'd all seen through his mind and knew the second he did that the leeches were at her house. I admitted how bad my initial reaction was and how I was so scared of losing her. I was still scared of that, especially now that she knew just how foolish I could be, but I kept explaining.

I told her how I'd come running back and seen them, how her happiness with that little one, Alice apparently, made me so mad, how I was scared I'd freak out and phase and hurt her. I could tell with every word I spoke that it didn't take phasing to hurt her, and that just about killed me. I'd promised myself I would never hurt her, and what had I done? I'd left her, just like he did. Maybe I didn't leave her lost in the woods, but I left her lost at home, waiting for me when she shouldn't have had to.

"They were only here to check on me," she explained. "And you could have called. I would have…I don't know exactly what I would have done, but I wouldn't have gone another day not seeing you. "

The fact that she was still focused on missing time with me was a good sign, I hoped. "Did you tell them about me?" I asked her.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I didn't know what I _could_ tell them. I wanted to, Jake. I _really_ did, but I was afraid I was going to give something away that I shouldn't. You know me," she said with a weak attempt at a smile. "I'm an awful liar."

"Yeah, but you could have left out the pack stuff," I said, hurt that she hadn't even mentioned me.

"But that's what you_ are_, Jake. How am I supposed to explain _us_ without _that?" _she asked. "You saved me from Laurent. And you _keep _saving me from Victoria. And what if they wanted to meet you? How was I supposed to explain where you were? Alice would have seen right through me."

"I know." She was right. I felt like a caveman trying to stake my claim on her, but as much as I wanted them to know she was mine, that they couldn't have her, it probably would have been a disaster if she'd started talking. As far as I knew, they didn't know about us, the new pack. They knew about our ancestors, but they didn't know that we, the wolves, were back.

"I don't know how to explain it, Jacob," she said. "I wanted to tell them, but I didn't want to cause any more problems. And you're my best friend. I'm happy around you. I can be myself around you, and when I'm with you, I don't have to keep all these crazy secrets. You're my…you're my everything."

I grabbed her hand and tugged her back into my lap. She shouldn't have had to explain herself. I was the one who'd done everything wrong here. But here she was, trying to make me feel better. If it was possible, I loved her even more for it.

"I'm an idiot," I said. "I keep screwing everything up."

She pulled back a little, placing her hands on my face and making me look her in the eye. What I saw there was nothing that I'd expected.

"I think this is normal, Jake," she said. "We're normal, but everything around us isn't. We should be worrying about….I don't know…prom and stuff like that, and instead we're stuck with secrets and treaties and things right out of a horror movie."

"So you're not mad at me?" I asked.

"Of course I'm mad at you," she said with a little smile. "But I'll get over it. And I love you."

I felt like I'd dodged a bullet. Sure, I was the one that pulled the trigger, but getting out of this pretty much unscathed was not what I'd expected. I should have, though. Bella was good and forgiving, and I knew she loved me. Now I really understood just how much. I leaned forward and kissed her, unwilling to pull away again even after the kiss was over.

"Bells?" Charlie yelled up the stairs.

"He has the worst timing," I said.

"Upstairs, Dad!" she yelled back.

"Thought you had to work?" he asked.

"Crap!"

She jumped up, and this time I wasn't fast enough to catch her. I could have been, and I should have been, but I was too caught up in everything that had just happened to react like I normally would have. She tumbled off the bed and looked back up to glare at me when I couldn't hold in a chuckle. But her expression smoothed quickly, and I leaned back, resting my head on my hands as I watched her scramble around trying to get ready.

She grabbed some clothes and ran out into the hallway, apparently running right into her dad. I heard her say something about running late, and almost went downstairs to wait for her. But I had something else that needed to be taken care of first, something for her, and it couldn't wait.

So I grabbed a half-written-on sheet of paper off her desk, tore off a piece of it, and scribbled a quick note before hopping out the window and bolting back to La Push.

* * *

**Here's what I want to know: How did you end up reading Breathe Again? Did you just happen to stumble across it on the site? Was there a certain forum that pointed you to it? Did someone threaten to kill you if you didn't read at least one Jake-fic? It's picking up a lot of new readers lately, and I'm really curious about what brought everyone to this particular story.**


	71. Normalcy: Bella's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX: NORMALCY  
(Bella's POV)**

Of all the nights to have to work, this was probably the worst. Mrs. Newton was bound and determined to keep the business open, and I suspected she was just as determined to make me miserable.

Heavy plastic sheeting cordoned off the section of the store that was more heavily damaged, and everything that was still in good condition had been crowded into one half of the building. I'd never considered myself to be someone who thrived on order and organization, but the haphazard new layout made it just about impossible to find anything. I honestly didn't know what half of the stuff was to begin with, but when it was all piled up on top of itself, I was lost.

I was actually surprised that we had customers, though I probably shouldn't have been considering the fact that an enormous yellow banner hung outside, screaming to the whole world that Newton's was still open for business. Most of the people who came in went right for the fire-sale section, though, picking through the camping gear that smelled heavily of smoke and looking for a deal. Several customers asked for discounts on things that hadn't have any damage at all, and Mike and I watched through the evening as his mother's expression tightened and tensed by the minute.

"How long do you think it will be before she explodes?" he chuckled.

"Glad you think it's funny," I grumbled. "You know she's just going to take it out on me."

Mrs. Newton had never exactly been friendly to me. She wasn't rude, but there was always a tone of condescension when she spoke, and now that she knew I was dating Jacob, she made no effort to hide her distaste. It made me feel sorry for whatever poor girl ended up marrying Mike someday. Mrs. Newton was going to be the worst mother in law in history.

"She's not that bad," he said. "At least she's not making you mop."

"Not yet. Don't give her any ideas," I said, rolling my eyes.

My shift only lasted a few hours, but already I'd cleaned the windows, scrubbed down all the shelves in our makeshift stockroom, and hauled heavy displays around just so Mrs. Newton could purse her lips, pretend to give it some thought, and then say, "No, I think it looked better where it was. Go ahead and put it back." I wouldn't have minded the work if it had actually needed to be done, but wiping down glass that was already spotless was hardly necessary, and the whole display thing was like a twisted game I was stuck in. Mike was lucky, assigned with greeting the customers and helping them find things. That wasn't something I necessarily enjoyed, but I would have gladly switched places with him tonight.

"Oh, Isabella!" she sang in an unconvincingly sweet sing-song voice. That's right. I was Isabella to her now.

"Wish me luck," I whispered to Mike. "Yes, Mrs. Newton?"

"_Someone's_ been tracking soot all over these floors. I'm going to need you to mop before you leave."

It was clear that by "someone," she meant me, and I made a mental note to look for another job as I headed to the back to scrounge up a mop.

"Oh, come on, Mom," Mike said. "We leave in like two minutes."

I paused for a second, hoping against hope that she would decide mopping could wait.

"Now, Mikey, you know I can't open the store tomorrow with filthy floors," she replied.

I gave him a grateful smile anyhow and hurried to the back. The sooner I could get this over with, the sooner I could see Jacob.

I found the bucket easily enough, and it was filled with grimy black water, so I tugged it over to the back door and dumped it out in the unused drive behind the store. Once it was refilled, I went in search of the mop, which I finally found lying behind a bunch of damaged bins. It was almost black with dirt, too, but before I could go back out to rinse it, Mike walked into the room.

"Come on," he said. "We're leaving."

"Thanks," I said. "But I can't get away with that like you can."

"I'm serious, Bella," he said. "She said she'll have Dave take care of it in the morning. So we're free to go."

He didn't have to tell me twice. I left everything by the back door grabbed my bag. Mike waited until I had my keys in hand and then walked ahead of me onto the sales floor.

"Oh," he said, pausing before we rounded the corner where his mother had been all night. "If she says anything about dinner, just go with it, okay?"

I gave him a skeptical look, but I wasn't about to blow my chances of getting out of there on time, so I nodded my agreement.

"Have fun, kids!" Mrs. Newton called cheerily just as we reached the front door.

"We will. Thanks, Mom!" Mike yelled over his shoulder, grabbing my hand and holding it tightly as we walked through the store and outside.

As soon as we were away from the brightly lit storefront, I yanked my hand back. "What was that?" I asked, a little mad that he'd gone back on his 'just friends' promise so soon.

"That was me getting you out of there," he laughed. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Mike. I thought---" I started to say.

"No, Bella, I have moved on," he said dramatically as he moved his arm in an exaggerated sweeping gesture. "I know you want another chance, but it's just not gonna happen. Mike Newton is unavailable to you."

He could barely keep in his laughter, and I couldn't help but chuckle. Mike was actually turning out to be a pretty decent friend after all.

* * *

Jacob was waiting in the driveway when I pulled in. He grabbed my bag as I got out of the truck and hugged me tightly before following me inside.

Charlie barely glanced away from the TV when we walked in, but then he did a double-take upon seeing Jake. "'Bout time you came around," he said. "She's been a mess without you."

I shook my head, trying to will away the blush I felt flaming up, and Jake chuckled.

"You kids hungry?" Charlie asked. "There's a couple of pizzas on the counter."

I was starving, and Jake was a bottomless pit, so we headed straight for the food. Jake wouldn't go anywhere near the half of one that had pineapple, but he made quick work of the rest. I rinsed off our plates while he took the empty boxes out to the trashcan, and when I turned around, he was standing there watching me, a strange look on his face.

"So…" he said, looking uncomfortable. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," I nodded, wishing he didn't have to leave so soon. "Do you have to patrol tonight?"

"No."

"Oh," I said, disappointed. "But you can't stay?"

"Yeah, I just didn't think…I mean, I didn't want to assume…" he trailed off, staring at his feet.

"Stay," I said. "You owe me for last night."

Hi face lit up with a grin just as Charlie walked in to grab another beer. Charlie paused and looked from Jacob to me and then back at Jake again.

"Door stays open," he said gruffly before heading back to his recliner.

* * *

The second we were in my room, Jacob pulled me over and kissed me.

"I should have done that earlier," he said.

"Yes," I said, unable to hide my smile. "You should have."

I extricated myself from his arms quickly though, feeling sweaty and none too attractive after my evening of manual labor. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out some sweats and a tank top, and then I tossed Jake the shirt he'd given me after that night at Emily's.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"My dad says you have to wear a shirt, remember? Besides, it doesn't really smell like you anymore, so…"

He smirked and slipped his arms into the sleeves then walked over to the bed. "Hey, Bells?"

"What?" I asked, my back to him as I tried to slip a change of underwear into the bundle of clothes I was holding.

"Can we change the sheets?"

"I just changed them the other day," I said.

"Yeah, but um…they smell kind of like…your friends," he said hesitantly.

"Oh." I was a little surprised. I knew he tracked Victoria by her scent, but it never occurred to me that he thought vampires smelled _bad_. I guess it made sense, though. Werewolves were supposed to kill vampires, not eat them for dinner, so they probably weren't supposed to smell delicious. "Okay," I shrugged. "I'm going to take a shower, though. Toss those in the washer, and get another set from the hall closet."

* * *

Washing away all the soot and grime from Newton's felt better than I would have imagined, and as much as I wanted to linger under the warm spray, I didn't want to waste any of my night with Jake. I was exhausted from work, full from dinner, and relaxed from my shower. All I wanted was to curl up next to him and sleep. He'd only been gone a few days, but it felt like forever, and I was looking forward to resting beside him without any worries.

I towel dried my hair and tossed my dirty clothes in the hamper, and then walked back into my room. Jacob was sprawled out on the bed, his eyes closed and his breathing soft and steady. Even though I'd missed being with him, I didn't want to wake him. He'd been chasing Victoria for days, and I was willing to bet that his worry about the Cullens visiting had made any sleep he'd had since coming home restless.

I stood there for a while just watching him sleep. The bed was a mess but the new change of sheets was on, so I guess he'd done his job before passing out. He looked happy and peaceful and every bit the Jacob I'd fallen in love with. Gone was the worry I'd seen in his eyes during our recent time together, and though I knew it would be back as long as Victoria was still a threat, it was nice to see him completely relaxed.

He was wearing his shirt, but just barely. The sleeves were pushed up above his elbows, and he hadn't fastened a single button. I remembered the first time I'd seen him without his shirt. Well, it probably wasn't the _first_ time, considering how often Charlie had taken me to La Push when I was little. But it was the first time that counted. I'd told him he was sort of beautiful, and standing in my doorway watching him tonight, I wondered what was wrong with me to say that. There was nothing sort of about it. He was another version of perfect.

"You gonna stand there all night?" he asked, the corner of his mouth turning up while his eyes remained closed.

"I thought you were asleep," I said, glad he wasn't looking as I blushed at being caught. I flipped the light switch off and hurried over to the bed before he could see.

"It's okay. You can ogle me," he chuckled.

"I was not 'ogling' you," I argued as I crawled under the covers and curled up as close to him as I could.

"Sure you weren't, Bells," he teased.

"You're awfully confident for someone who's still in trouble," I said.

He laughed and stretched his arm out, wrapping it around my shoulders to pull me closer, and I rested my leg over his. I closed my eyes, not because I was tired, but because I just wanted to savor the moment when everything was finally back to being as it should.

"You forgot to button up," I said, giving the shirt a tug before sliding my hand up his chest. Yes, he was definitely perfect.

"Charlie didn't say anything about a buttoned shirt," he said. "All he said was I had to wear one. And that's what I'm doing."

"True," I agreed, not really wanting to give up the feel of his skin under my hand anyhow.

"And as I recall, you didn't think it needed to be buttoned before," he added.

I nuzzled my face against his neck and tried to ignore that comment.

"So that's it?" he asked. "No kiss?"

I raised my head, hoping my blush had faded enough that he couldn't see it in what little moonlight streamed in, and lowered my lips to his. One of his hands immediately cupped the back of my head, his fingers weaving into my hair as he held me in the kiss. His other hand snaked around my waist, grabbing at my hip and dragging me fully on top of him, my legs between his. The smell and taste and feel of him combined to shut down my brain, and every conscious thought I had was wrapped up in him, in that kiss, in us. And then we were jolted apart by the creak of a loose board in the stairway.

"I really hate your dad right now," he groaned as I scrambled to get into a more appropriate position.

"Feeling's mutual, son," Charlie answered.

* * *

Just wanted to say thanks for all the reviews lately. Breathe Again cracked 5000 reviews as of Christmas Eve, which is nothing short of amazing.  
Thank you all for making my first attempt at fanfiction so much fun.

(and Bex, you had me at "grammer.")


	72. Normalcy: Jacob's POV

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX: NORMALCY  
(Jacob's POV)**

Getting back to La Push took longer than it should have thanks to Sam's stupid rule about phasing. The treaty said we weren't responsible for Forks, and it restricted us from stepping foot on the Cullens' territory, but Sam had decided to take it a step further this time and forbid us from even phasing if we were off the rez. He said it was because he didn't want anyone running into them and starting a war or something because we couldn't control ourselves. I suspected it had more to do with Sam wanting to be in complete control…and probably a little to do with being pissed at Bella.

As soon as I set foot on the reservation, I phased and took off through the woods toward Sam's house. That was probably a huge mistake, though, because I was stuck listening to Jared's whining the whole way. Sam had gotten a little creative with his punishment for him, issuing an alpha command that Jared was to _stay_ phased for two weeks. So not only did Jared have to stay hidden most of the time, but he also couldn't see Kim. Well, I guess he could have, but movie night on the sofa with a giant wolf was probably not something she felt like explaining to her parents.

If you'd asked me, though, Jared got off easy. He'd deserted his post guarding Bella, and we were all lucky that it was just the Cullen leeches who'd slipped in while he was gone. If I'd had any say in his punishment, he'd be a lot worse off than just hanging out in the woods, suffering the werewolf version of being grounded.

* * *

I didn't worry with knocking when I got to Sam's. None of us really did anymore since it was kind of like our unofficial headquarters. Emily glanced up from whatever she was doing in the kitchen and gave me a questioning look.

"We're good," I said, knowing she was wondering how things went with Bella.

She smiled brightly and nodded toward the back door. "He's outside."

I stepped out the backdoor to find Sam, his head buried under the hood of the truck and cursing under his breath.

"Need some help?" I offered.

"Nah…think I've got it," he replied. He rose up and wiped the grease from his hands onto his jeans, then turned to face me. "What's up?" he asked.

Sam was the straightforward type, so I decided to speak his language and just get right to the point. "We can't leave Bella unprotected," I told him.

"Jake, you know we can't interfere," he said, obviously irritated that I would even bring her up. "If the Cullens are back---"

"They're not," I interrupted. "They just came to…I don't know…visit or something. And they're gone now."

"And you're okay with this?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"She hangs out with the bloodsuckers while we're out there trying to keep her safe, and that's not a problem for you?" His voice was laced with judgment.

"You _know_ it's a problem for me," I replied, not wanting to take his bait and get stuck justifying it. I didn't need him telling me how messed up it was, and it really wasn't any of his business. "But I didn't make the damned treaty."

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked, taking a step toward me, like he was daring me to challenge him or something.

"The treaty _let_ them live here. It _let_ them pull her into their mess. And it stops us from doing anything about it. What _doesn't_ it have to do with anything?"

"I think we need to stick to the rez," he said, almost like he was handing down some kind of final decision. "Bella knew what they were, and she---"

"Really?" I asked, refusing to let him finish that stupid line of thought. "_That's_ your argument? She knows what we are, too, Sam."

"I'm not arguing about this, Jake. We have responsibilities here." He turned around, like he was just going to go back to working on the truck, and anything I said didn't matter.

"So we're just gonna what?" I asked angrily. "Let the bloodsuckers take over Forks?"

"No!" he yelled, spinning back around to glare at me. "But we can't concentrate everything on Bella. She _chose_ this."

"She didn't _choose_ anything! None of us did. It just happened!"

"And we can't be responsible for her. End of discussion."

"Fine. If that's how it has to be, then fine," I said yanking open the backdoor to go inside and get away from him. But just as quickly I turned back around. "But as long as you're running everyone's life, find another place for Collin to stay."

"Why?" he asked, eying me skeptically.

"Because Bella's staying with me. On the rez. Where she'll be safe," I told him.

"Dammit, Jake! You can't just put some girl above the pack!"

He might have been my Alpha, but he wasn't Bella's. I just raised an eyebrow. "Watch me."

I didn't wait to hear his argument, stepping inside and letting the door slam loudly behind me. But it didn't drown out Sam.

"Jake!" he yelled.

"What?" I yelled back through the door.

"Get out here!"

Instead of walking back out into the yard, though, I just opened the door enough to look at him. And I waited. He wasn't going to change my mind, and I'd said what I needed to say. Sam's fists were clenched, and his arms were beginning to twitch like he wanted to phase. I stayed silent and motionless as he got himself under control, even though a small part of me was hoping he'd lose it, and we could just fight it out in his backyard. Finally, though, he exhaled slowly and brought his gaze up to meet mine.

"We'll protect Bella," he said coldly.

I just nodded and let the door swing shut again.

"Everything okay?" Emily asked, her worried face peeking around the wall from the kitchen. There was no way she'd missed all the yelling.

"Now it is," I said, still a bit mad at Sam for forcing my hand. Not that I would have had a problem with Bella staying with me….

Emily looked toward the door and opened her mouth like she was going to say something else, but then she shook her head. "How'd it go with Bella?" she asked instead.

"Better than I expected," I told her, rounding the corner into the kitchen. "Better than I deserved, really."

I leaned against the counter as she went back to mixing some globby brown mess in a giant bowl.

"What about the Cullens?" she asked.

"They're gone," I shrugged. "For now at least. She says they were just visiting, like to check on her or something."

"What are you going to do if they come back?" she asked, zeroing in on the one thought I was trying not to think.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Deal with it, I guess?"

"Good," she said.

She didn't say anything, and I just stood there for a while, watching as she spooned what was apparently batter into a muffin pan.

"Was there something else?" she finally asked.

"Yeah…um…I need to do something. You know, for her," I said.

"Something?" she asked.

"Something nice, like romantic or whatever," I replied, not really sure how to explain it without sounding like a girl.

She laughed and shook her head. "Spoken like a true romantic."

" Very funny."

"What are you planning?" she asked.

"That's the problem," I said. "What I _should_ do is take her out to a fancy restaurant or something, but that's not exactly in my budget." Money wasn't something I'd really ever mentioned around Bella, and she'd never brought it up. I knew she was happy to just spend time together, but I felt like I owed her more than that.

"What is your budget?" Emily asked.

"About thirty bucks?" I asked rather than said. It was all the money I had, actually.

"Okay," she nodded, looking thoughtful for a second. "We can work with that. What do you guys normally do on dates?"

"Umm…we haven't exactly gone…on a real date."

"Never?" she asked, obviously surprised.

I shook my head. "I mean, we just hang out, you know?"

"Jacob" she said, practically scolding me.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" I complained. "I can't exactly get a job. I can't even go to school with all this patrolling."

"Bella's not a fancy kind of girl, Jacob," she said. "I don't think she'd keep you around if money was the issue. What do you two normally do when you 'hang out?'?"

"Watch a movie, maybe," I said. "She cooks a lot, so there's usually dinner… or Charlie orders pizza when she works late." I paused and thought about it for a minute and realized I could count on one hand the number of times we'd actually _done _something since we got together. "I guess we mostly just sleep," I finally said. "We don't get a whole lot of time together with school and her job and my …job, I guess."

"So take her to a movie," Emily suggested like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Really?" I asked. "That's the best you've got for me? Can I accidently touch her hand when we both go for the popcorn? Maybe I can do that fake yawn move," I teased.

"Make fun all you want, Jake. I don't hear you coming up with any ideas."

"Fine," I conceded. She was right, but even I could have come up with the movie thing.

"Okay, let's start simple," she said. "What would you do if money wasn't an issue?"

"Take her out to a nice dinner," I replied. "Get her flowers, I guess." Okay, maybe my ideas were as unoriginal as Emily's.

"Okay, so dinner," she repeated. "Thirty bucks pays for a sit-down restaurant, nothing too fancy, but definitely better than pizza. Or…" she trailed off.

"Or what?" I asked.

"Or you could _make_ dinner for her," she suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "I love her, Emily. I'm not trying to kill her."

Emily just laughed it off, but I wasn't entirely joking. Dad and I had been living off frozen dinners and grilled fish for years. Cooking just wasn't an option.

"You're telling me you wouldn't even try?" she asked. "For Bella? Oh, don't give me that look. There's no reason you can't make her dinner. She does it all the time for everyone else, and I bet she'd like a break."

"I take it you're volunteering to help?" I asked. Because honestly, that was the only way this was going to happen.

"If that's what it takes, yeah," she said, smiling. Damn it.

She knew she'd won.

"Ok, so I just need to buy a bunch of stuff I don't know what to do with, try to keep it edible, and spend whatever's left on flowers," I said, hoping she'd see how this was probably destined for failure. It wasn't that I didn't think Bella would like it. I just didn't think I could pull it off. And she deserved a hell of a lot more than having her house burned down because I could barely work a stove.

"You know, you could probably do better by just taking some from my garden."

"I am not giving her stolen yard flowers," I said.

"They're not stolen if I tell you to take them, Jake. And my "yard flowers" are a lot nicer than you're gonna be able to buy."

"Great. I'm the cheapest boyfriend ever," I sighed.

"Or maybe just the most thoughtful. It's the effort that counts Jake, not the money."

Once I gave Emily the okay, she started doing that girl thing, making plans and worrying about details. The problem was that she left all the decisions up to me, and I had no idea what I was doing. She said she'd put the flowers together where they looked good, but she made me pick them out. All I knew was that girls were supposed to get red roses, and Emily didn't have those. After standing there staring at all the plants for a good ten minutes, Emily finally just told me to pick out whatever reminded me of Bella.

After that came the "menu," as Emily insisted on calling it. I really thought she'd be more help, but instead she just set a cookbook in front of me and told me to pick. I knew fish was out, or at least I hoped it was. Bella could have fish any day of the week if she wanted. Steaks were good, but I wasn't sure if Charlie would let me use his grill and…well, at this point I didn't even know if he'd let me use his kitchen. I couldn't exactly take Bella to my house with Collin staying there, and it's not like I could send him off somewhere for the night. This date stuff was turning out to be a lot harder than I thought.

After a couple of hours, though, we had a pretty good plan in mind, and we'd settled on tomorrow night since Bella didn't have to work. But first I'd need to talk to Charlie and make sure he was cool with it. Then I'd need to get Bella away for a while so she wasn't stuck watching me destroy her kitchen. Emily said she'd come over and help…well, supervise, I guess, since I was going to be doing all the work. I had no idea what to do about Bella, though.

* * *

By the time I finally left Emily's, Bella was already getting out of work. I wasn't sure I'd be able to catch her at Newton's, so I just went straight to her house, and within seconds, she pulled up. I carried her bag inside and prayed she'd ask me to stay. I knew we were okay, but I didn't know just how okay we were.

Charlie was watching TV, as usual, and he looked surprised to see me. "'Bout time you came around," he said. "She's been a mess without you."

I tried to ignore the instant guilt brought on from knowing I'd only made things harder on her by staying gone an extra night, and I just focused on the fact that she'd missed me so much that even Charlie noticed.

"You kids hungry?" he asked. "There's a couple of pizzas on the counter."

Twenty minutes later, she was washing dishes, and I was throwing out the pizza boxes. I walked back into the kitchen and watched her for a few seconds, not really knowing what I was supposed to do next. It was late, and I assumed she was going to just go to bed. The big question was whether or not I was invited.

"So…" I started once she'd finished and turned to face me. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she said as I tried to hide my disappointment. "Do you have to patrol tonight?"

Originally I was supposed to be back at the rez tonight, but there was no way Sam could expect me to leave her unprotected. Unless he'd scheduled someone since I left, he had to know I'd be staying in Forks. Unfortunately, it looked like I'd be staying outside. "No," I replied.

"Oh, but you can't stay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I just didn't think…" Crap. That made it sound like I didn't _want_ to. "I mean, I didn't want to assume…"

"Stay," she said. "You owe me for last night."

The heavy weight on my shoulders lifted and I grinned right back at her little smirk. She could tease me about it for the rest of my life, as long as she kept me around. Charlie walked in before I could say anything else, though, and I swear that man had a sixth sense. He took one look at us and told us to keep the bedroom door open.

Bella took my hand and led me up the stairs, and the moment we were in her room, I couldn't hold back anymore. I needed to kiss her. I pulled her over to me and just looked at her for a second. Her eyes were wide and trusting, and a small smile played on her lips. The smile disappeared as I got closer, though, and her eyes fluttered shut. And as soon as our lips were touching, her arms were around my neck as her whole body pressed against me. The open door made me a little nervous though, especially since we were standing right in front of it. I pulled back, knowing now that we'd have plenty of time for this later, once Charlie was asleep.

"I should have done that earlier," I said.

"Yes," she relied with another smirk. "You should have."

She dug some clothes out of a drawer and then threw something to me---my shirt, I realized as I caught it.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"My dad says you have to wear a shirt, remember? Besides, it doesn't really smell like you anymore, so…"

I pulled it on and then went to sit down on her bed, only to be hit with that leech smell again. I thought about opening the window, but when I looked over, it was already open. If it came down to it, I'd just deal with it. But I had to ask.

"Hey, Bells?"

"What?"

"Can we change the sheets?"

"I just changed them the other day," she replied.

God, I hoped this didn't upset her. "Yeah, but um…they smell kind of like…your friends."

"Oh," she said. Then she just shrugged. "Okay. I'm going to take a shower, though. Toss those in the washer, and get another set from the hall closet."

* * *

_I should have asked her to do this part_, I thought as I tugged at the smelly bedding, trying to touch it as little as possible. Their scent wasn't as strong anymore, but I knew if I got it on me it would drive me nuts all night. I couldn't very well expect Charlie to want me showering at his house, too. Finally I got everything off and balled up inside a blanket that hung off the end of the bed, and I carried it all downstairs.

I wasn't exactly unfamiliar with doing laundry, but I was still relieved to see just a box of detergent and a bottle of bleach on the shelf above the washer. Rachel had stocked our laundry room with all kinds of different stuff, and I still hadn't figured out what most of it was for. But detergent I could handle. I tossed the sheets into the machine and scooped out some soap, dumping it in and setting it all on cold. I at least knew enough to choose a temperature that wouldn't ruin anything. That's when I heard a chuckle behind me.

"So she's got you doing the laundry now, too?" Charlie laughed.

I wasn't sure how to answer that so I just shrugged and laughed. It's not like I could tell him I was worried about vampire cooties. Then I realized this was my opportunity.

"Hey, ah…I wanted to ask you about something," I said.

His laughter died immediately, and his eyes grew hard. I wasn't sure what he thought I was going to say, but whatever it was, I hoped I was never unlucky enough to say it.

"I wanted to do something nice for Bella, and Emily said I should cook her dinner."

"And just what are you hoping to get out of this dinner?" he asked.

"Ummmm…well, see…she's kind of mad at me right now," I explained. "I was supposed to be back from camping yesterday, and I didn't call her…" Man, I hoped he was buying this.

"And what does this have to do with me?" he asked, still looking a little suspicious.

"Well…is it okay if we do it…um, dinner…here?" I asked.

"What's wrong with your house?"

"There's just too many people there," I said. "I mean, my dad and my sister and her boyfriend and this kid that's staying with us while his mom's out of town…" Okay, so maybe it was really just my dad and a young werewolf, but that didn't seem like a safe answer. "We don't have to be alone or anything, but it's supposed to be for her, not for the whole family, you know?"

He stared at me for a second, and I was just waiting for him to say no.

"When?" he asked.

"Tomorrow night?"

"Did you ask Bella? It's kind of her kitchen," he said.

"It's a surprise," I told him. "I just…well, I haven't worked that part out yet. I still have to find a way to keep her away till I'm done."

"Bella doesn't like surprises," he said with a smirk. Yes, Charlie Swan actually smirked.

* * *

Charlie asked about a million more questions, but he finally agreed, and I hurried back upstairs. I grabbed a set of sheets out of the closet like she told me and did my best to make the bed, but it was kind of a disaster, probably because I hadn't made my own bed in years. But none of the mattress was sticking out, so it was good enough. I lay down and closed my eyes, trying to relax and not think about the naked girl across the hall.

A few minutes later I heard the water turn off and not long after, the bathroom door creaked open. I assumed she'd head straight for her room, but I only heard a couple of footsteps and then…nothing. But I did feel like I was being watched.

"You gonna stand there all night?"

I heard her gasp, and I tried not to laugh.

"I thought you were asleep," she mumbled before slipping into bed beside me.

"It's okay. You can ogle me," I teased.

"I was not 'ogling' you," she pouted.

"Sure you weren't, Bells."

"You're awfully confident for someone who's still in trouble," she said.

Fortunately, I could hear the smile in her voice, and I reached over to pull her closer to me.

"You forgot to button up," she said, pulling at the open front of the shirt.

"Charlie didn't say anything about a buttoned shirt," I replied. "All he said was I had to wear one. And that's what I'm doing." Of course, I knew good and well Charlie would revise his rules if he walked in.

"True," she said.

And since I couldn't let an opportunity like that pass…"And as I recall, you didn't think it needed to be buttoned before." The problem was that as soon as the words were out of my mouth, all I could do was picture her there, in Emily's guestroom, looking like something out of a dream in my unbuttoned shirt. "So that's it?" I asked, trying to focus on the here and now instead of the then and nearly naked. "No kiss?"

She pulled herself up and held herself over me as she brought her lips to mine. I knew Charlie could come upstairs any minute, but between the image in my mind and the way she felt, I couldn't be expected to think rationally. I reached over and pulled her further on top of me. She was so light and so soft and so…just perfect. And the way she kissed me was almost too much to process. And then Charlie ruined it.

She jumped at the sound of a creak in the stairs, and I seriously considered closing her door and locking it. But I knew Charlie would probably just respond with his shotgun.

"I really hate your dad right now," I groaned.

"Feeling's mutual, son," he answered as he passed Bella's room.

I should have known he'd hear that.

* * *

**Soooooo...what would y'all think of an imprint in the next chapter? Perhaps one that doesn't involve Bella?**

p.s. I didn't really give this chapter a good proofread because I'm lazy. Feel free to be my one-time beta & point out any annoying typos.**  
**


	73. Distractions: Bella's POV

**Things I am not sorry for:  
1. Eating all the Reese's peanut butter cups instead of letting the trick-or-treaters have them.  
2. Telling my 12th grade English teacher that her gold lamé Keds did not go well with her purple track suit.  
3. Saying there would be an imprint that didn't involve Bella and then laughing at everyone who just assumed it would involve Jake.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: DISTRACTIONS  
(Bella's POV)**

Falling asleep with Jacob was wonderful. Waking up? Not so much. Of course he was the first person I wanted to see when I opened my eyes, but I would have preferred to have been a bit less…well…_sweaty._ Fortunately he was still sound asleep, so I gently peeled myself away from him and pushed my damp hair back from my face. I shivered as a cool wind blew through the wide open window, reminding me that his heat had its advantages. The weather was finally getting warmer, but the nights were still far too chilly for my taste.

I tried not to wake Jacob as I carefully scooted to the edge of the bed, but just as I touched one foot to the floor I was dragged backward, and I completely lost what little balance I had. I flopped awkwardly back, landing roughly against a very solid chest. If someone had landed on me like that, I'd have had the wind knocked out of me. But not Jake. His heavy arms wrapped around me, practically dragging me so that I was lying down again, my back flush against him.

"Five more min…" he mumbled, his breath hot on my ear.

"Ummmm…I need to…" How could I put it delicately? Well, I really couldn't. "I'll be right back, okay?" When his grip held tight, I added, "Bathroom."

He groaned but let go, and I hurried across the hall to the bathroom. When I was finished, I took an extra couple of minutes to wash my face and then decided to go all out and brush my teeth as well. Sure, I was going right back to sleep, but that didn't mean I wanted to wake up a second time with morning breath.

Jake had dozed off again while I was gone, and a soft snore escaped his slightly open mouth. I stood there for a moment, watching him. Unlike last night, he truly was asleep this time, and he looked so…young. I hadn't realized how heavily all the responsibilities and hardships of being a wolf weighed him down. But here, while he slept, I could see the happy-go-lucky kid who'd fallen for my flirting and told me "ghost" stories. We had no idea then how much those ghosts would haunt us.

I shook my head, willing away those bittersweet thoughts. Neither of us had really known what would happen back then, and we couldn't have changed it if we had. What mattered now was _this_ moment, where we were now, that we were _us._

I slipped back under the covers and lay on my side, scooting back until I could feel him against me. He rolled toward me, mumbling something I couldn't make out, and I closed my eyes as I felt his arm wrap around me again.

* * *

I wasn't sweating when I awoke the second time, and I rolled over, reaching for Jacob only to feel cool sheets beneath my fingers. I squinted against the daylight as I looked around, not really sure where I expected him to be, but I didn't think he'd be gone. He hadn't left a note this time, either. I ran my hand over the indention in his pillow and sighed before pulling myself out of bed.

Not knowing where Jacob was or when he'd be back, I saw no reason to shed my sweats and get dressed for the day. Besides, it was Saturday, and I had no plans anyway. I made the bed and turned on the computer so I could check my email. It would take a while to boot up, and probably even longer to connect, so I decided to go downstairs and get some breakfast while I waited.

I was still wiping the sleep from my eyes when I stumbled my way into the kitchen, and I was stopped short by the sight before me. Charlie and Jacob were sitting at opposite sides of the table, parts of the newspaper scattered between them as they each perused a section. Had it not been for the inviting scent of breakfast, I would have thought I was still asleep and dreaming.

Jake peeked over what looked to be the classified ads and winked at me, and I just shook my head at him. I helped myself to a plate with a couple of pieces of toast and some eggs, and then I took my seat between my father and my boyfriend at the table. The both just kept reading. Charlie had the sports section, predictably, and Jake was in fact reading the classifieds.

"Well, this is weird," I finally said before taking a bite of my toast.

Charlie just kind of grunted and didn't look up from his paper. Jake, of course, laughed. The next several minutes were silent aside from the occasional rustle of paper as they turned pages and what I was beginning to think was my freakishly loud chewing. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when Charlie finally folded up his section and placed it back in the middle of the table. He stood up without a word and left the room, only to come back a few seconds later.

"Here," Charlie said, unceremoniously dropping a box in front of me. "Thought you should have one of these."

"A cell phone?" I asked, shocked to see the picture on the box. "Dad, I really don't need---"

"Well, I do," he said, cutting me off. "Got one for myself, too"

"I thought we were happy living in the Stone Age," I joked, not really sure how to react. It was a nice gesture, but I really didn't think I needed one. It's not like I spent a lot of time on the phone anyway, and I was usually with the only people I might have the need to call.

"We were," he said, "until the fires. Didn't like not knowing."

He didn't have to explain further. It was the not knowing that had been so hard that night. Not knowing if Charlie was okay, not knowing if Jake was okay, not knowing when or if we'd all be safe again. And while Charlie certainly didn't have the full story, it was pretty clear from the way he'd hugged me when he finally made it to La Push that nothing about that night was easy for him, either.

Still, cell phones weren't cheap, and while we weren't really struggling, it seemed like an unnecessary expense. "Thanks dad, but---" I tried protesting again.

"Nope," he said, cutting me off again. "No arguments. You're going off to college soon, and you'll need it."

It was clear that his mind was made up, so I picked up the box and turned it over, taking a closer look at the model. I was happy to see it wasn't one of the really expensive ones. It looked like just your basic flip phone, no extra bells or whistles.

"Thank you."

"Uh-huh," he mumbled before walking away.

Jake had apparently abandoned his reading to observe us, and when I looked up, still a bit surprised that Charlie would actually go out and buy me a cell phone, Jake smiled.

"I need to get back to the rez soon," he said. "Wanna come with?"

Being with Jake was a thousand times better than being on my own all day, so I readily agreed. "Just let me do these dishes first," I said, standing up.

Jake was up in a heartbeat, taking the plate from my hand. "I'll get them," he said. "You get dressed."

My day was getting weirder and weirder by the second.

I left Jake in the kitchen and went back upstairs. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt and quickly got dressed. My computer had finally booted up, so I checked my email and sent a short reply to Renee. I had started to head back downstairs again but was stopped when I heard a noise from Charlie's room. Not really thinking about it, I walked over and knocked on his partially open door.

"Come in," he said.

I pushed the door fully open to find him standing in the doorway of his closet, hanging up his clean uniforms.

"Hey, Dad," I said. "Ah…I just wanted to say thanks."

"No need," he replied without turning around. "It was free with the service, and I feel a lot better knowing I can reach you."

"Not just for the phone," I explained. "But for…you know…letting Jake stay over."

Charlie didn't respond, and I didn't know what else to say, but just as I was about to turn and leave, he spoke again.

"Got any plans today?" he asked.

"I'm going out to La Push with Jacob, but nothing big. I'll be home in time to make dinner, if not earlier."

"I'm sure I can take care of myself," he said with what looked suspiciously like a small smile. "You just enjoy your weekend."

* * *

Jake drove while I tried to figure out my new phone. I wasn't surprised to see four numbers already programmed in for me: home, Charlie's new cell number, Charlie's work number, and the main number to the police station. I was so concentrated on reading the fine print of the user guide as we bounced down La Push Road that I only noticed we'd slowed down when the truck came to a stop. But when I looked up, I realized we weren't there yet. Instead, we were pulled over, just off the side of the road, and Embry was standing at my window. I glanced over at Jake, who also appeared a bit confused by the situation, and then I rolled down the window.

"What are you doing?" Jake asked him.

"Dude, I had to crawl out the window 'cause that crazy girl won't leave me alone!"

"Jessica?" I asked, remembering how attached she'd suddenly become to him.

"Crazy girl," he insisted. "What's her deal?"

"Ummm…she likes you?" I ventured.

"Whatever," he said. "How do I get rid of her?"

"I don't think you do," Jake laughed.

Embry rolled his eyes and started to say something else, but he suddenly stopped, jerking his head around to look down the road.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, a look of complete terror on his face. In a flash he'd vaulted over the side of the truck and ducked down behind the cab. He pounded his fist against the thick metal bed and yelled, "Go!"

Jake started the engine and coaxed the truck forward, finally picking up a little speed just as a white car topped the hill and drove toward us. Jessica's car. Well, that explained why a werewolf was hiding in the back of my truck.

Jessica recognized us and waved as she drove past, but luckily for us, she didn't slow down. I watched from the side view mirror as her car disappeared around a curve and then turned around to see just the top of Embry's head as he peeked to see if the coast was clear. A few seconds later we pulled up in front of a neat two story house.

I got out as Embry jumped to the ground, and Jake came around to take my hand. The house looked familiar, but I couldn't place it, and I was about to ask Jacob where we were when I recognized the truck parked beside it. The old beat-up Ford had been Harry Clearwater's, and while I may have forgotten the house I hadn't been to since I was a kid, that truck had practically been a mainstay in our driveway for as long as I could remember.

I must have slowed down upon noticing the truck because I felt a tug on my hand and looked up to see that Jake had stopped. I smiled and took a step forward, and I was surprised to notice that his answering smile looked a little strained. He looked nervous, but I didn't have a chance to ask him what was going on before we were walking through the front door without even knocking first.

I wasn't exactly comfortable just letting myself in someone else's house, but I swallowed my objections and followed the guys' lead. An old recliner, well worn and empty, angled for the best view of the TV immediately caught my eye. It was positioned just like Charlie's was, and all I could think was how awful it would be to lose a parent. Leah wasn't the friendliest girl I'd ever met, but my heart broke for her.

Sue hopped up from the sofa, dropping what appeared to be needlepoint on the coffee table and came over to greet everyone, including me, with a hug. "You kids want something to drink?" she asked.

Of course the guys did, so I followed her into the kitchen to help.

"So, Bella," Sue said as she handed me some cups and pointed to the freezer, "How have you been?"

"Ummm...good," I replied. I popped the ice out of the trays and filled the cups while she pulled several bottles of soda from the pantry.

"I haven't seen you much lately," she said with a knowing smile. "Spending all your time with Jake?"

Actually, Sue had never seen much of me at all. I knew her, of course, but not as well as I'd known Harry. I really hadn't been around either of them much since I stopped spending summers in Washington, but Harry had stopped in at our house frequently after I moved here. Sue had rarely accompanied him, though, probably because she got enough of fishing and sports at home.

"Kind of, I guess," I said.

"I remember when I first met Harry. Spent every second I could with him…" She trailed off and stared out the small window over the sink.

I really didn't know what to say.

"Well," she said, smiling sadly, "Things don't always turn out the way you plan, but life has a way of working out for you anyway."

Now I _really_ didn't know what to say. Fortunately, Sue snapped out of it and started pouring soda. I grabbed the cups and carried them into the living room.

Embry was sprawled out on the sofa, his long legs propped up on the coffee table. Sue was right behind me, and she reached around me to swat his feet off the furniture. He laughed and took one of the drinks from me.

"Where's Jake?" I asked, a little annoyed that while I was playing waitress he'd just wandered off.

"Talking to Rachel," Embry shrugged.

He didn't seem too concerned, so I assumed it was no big deal. From what I could tell, everyone just made themselves at home here, much like they did at Emily's. I looked around and spotted a coaster, so I set Jake's drink down. Sue was back at her needlepoint, this time sitting in an armchair near Harry's old recliner. I was about to sit down myself when I heard laughter and looked over to see Seth coming down the hall.

His face lit up, and he rushed toward me, almost knocking me over in his enthusiasm as he caught me up in a tight hug. He let go quickly, though, and stepped back, almost appearing to blush a little.

"Glad you're here," he said, grinning at me.

"Um…thanks?" I almost asked him what he meant, but then I remembered. The pack shared practically everything, and in all likelihood he knew all about Jake's reaction to the Cullens' coming to visit. I hadn't really considered that before coming to La Push, and I could only hope that Seth's reaction was indicative of how the rest of the pack felt. Embry hadn't acted any differently toward me, but I could hardly base the pack's overall attitude on the reactions of the two most easy-going members.

Seth stepped aside and plopped down on the sofa next to Embry, knocking his feet off the table and punching him in the arm. Embry, of course, responded with an equal dose of playful violence, and I just moved a safe distance away in case they got too rowdy. Just then Jake came down the hall, followed by Leah and Rachel. He took what was left of available sofa space and patted his leg, gesturing for me to sit on his lap.

I glanced over at Sue, who was doing a terrible job of pretending to be interested in her sewing, and caught the smirk on her face. Well, maybe she just wasn't as strict as Charlie. Still, I wasn't sure how appropriate sitting on his lap would be. It was one thing in front of Sam and Emily, maybe even Billy, but in my mind Sue was in the same category as my dad, and I just wasn't sure. Even so, she wasn't objecting, and it was obvious she was paying attention, so I sort of perched myself on Jake's knee and tried not to get to comfortable.

"Nope," he said, grabbing my waist and pulling me completely into his lap.

Sue just laughed.

"What are we doing today?" Embry asked.

"I need to go by Sam's," Jake said.

"What for?" I asked.

"His truck's acting up. I'm gonna see if I can figure it out," Jake replied.

"Oh, well, I can just visit with Emily then," I offered.

I knew Jake and I couldn't spend every second together, but I really just wanted to be near him for a while, even if he was busy doing something else.

"No, you're coming shopping with us," Rachel called from the kitchen.

"Me?"

"Yes, you," she said. "You didn't think I was inviting Jake, did you?"

"Well, no. I just…I'm not much of a shopper," I said.

"Jake, I'm really worried about Bella," Embry said, suddenly sounding very serious.

"Why?" Jake and I asked at the same time.

He didn't even look at me. "Well, man, she runs with leeches _and _wolves, and she doesn't like shopping," he said. "I don't think she's a girl. She might not even be human!"

I just rolled my eyes while Embry cracked up at his own stupid joke.

"Come on, Bella," Rachel said, leaning over the counter to talk to me. "It'll be fun. I promise."

* * *

Apparently I was going with Rachel and Leah, neither of whom I was sure really liked me all that much, and they wanted to leave right away. But I wasn't happy about having my Saturday with Jake cut short, especially for something like shopping, so I insisted they wait while I drove Jake over to Sam's house. Sure, he probably could have just run there faster, but I wanted at least a few more minutes with him.

Embry ran ahead of us and was already inside laughing with Quil when we got there. Sam was nowhere to be seen, but Emily was sitting at the table making a grocery list. I would so much have rather gone grocery shopping than whatever Rachel and Leah had in mind.

I said hello to Emily, and we talked for a few minutes before Jake said he needed to get to work. It kind of felt like he was rushing me out of the house, and the only reason I could think of was Sam. Sam hadn't been as flaky with me as Rachel had, and he'd even come to my defense, so to speak, a couple of times, but now I worried that the Cullens' visit had done some damage to his opinion of me. Whatever the case, he wasn't around to ask, so I just had Jake walk me back out to my truck.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

"I just…miss you, I guess," I said.

"I'm right here," he said.

"Yeah, but you're staying here and I have to go do girl time or whatever," I complained. Yes, I knew I was whining, and yes, I knew he was trying not to laugh. But he'd been gone so long, and then there was that extra day, and I just really wanted some time with him---awake.

But before I could completely embarrass myself I heard a car pull up, and I turned to see none other than Jessica. Of course, that was the moment that Embry decided to step outside and tell Jake to hurry up. His expression was one of complete fear as Jessica launched herself at him.

"Aren't you going to help him?" I asked Jake.

"No," he laughed. "He brought this on himself."

Jessica was rambling about prom again and giving Embry very specific instructions about what kind of tux he should wear when a car I didn't recognize pulled up. A very pretty dark haired woman got out of the faded yellow hatchback and waved at us all, and then she walked around to the passenger side and opened the back door, apparently leaning in to get something.

"Who's that?" I asked Jacob.

"Allison," he said. "Emily's sister."

After several second the woman emerged again, this time holding a grinning toddler.

"Okay, Claire," she said as she set the little girl on her unsteady feet. "Go say hi."

Clair made a beeline for us and threw her chubby little arms around Jake's leg, beaming up at him. He laughed and ruffled her curly hair before picking her up and acting like he was going to throw her at Embry, who'd somehow managed to escape Jessica's death grip and walk over to us. Embry took her from Jake and started walking back toward Jessica while whispering something to Claire.

Suddenly Claire screamed, "Daddy!" and threw her arms around Embry's neck, and I'm sure it looked like my eyes were going to pop out of my head when he didn't correct her. He just laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

Embry had a kid? I turned to ask Jake but found his smile had faded and he just looked utterly confused. Jessica, on the other hand, looked livid.

She let out a weird screeching noise, and Embry wisely put Claire back down. Claire started toward the door, but apparently thought twice about getting any closer to Jessica and ran back to her mother instead.

Jessica started screaming at Embry, poking him in the chest. "You have a kid? And you didn't tell me? What is _wrong_ with you?"

Allison was standing just a few steps away from us now, and Claire was peeking out at the scene from behind her mother's legs.

"What is he doing?" Allison asked, looking from me to Jake.

"I have no idea," Jake said, shaking his head.

I was beginning to wish I'd just let Jake run instead of giving him a ride. Standing there in the yard while Embry's obsessed, self-proclaimed girlfriend yelled at him in front of his…ex-girlfriend? Well, whatever she was, I really wasn't comfortable with the situation.

"It's not a big deal," Embry insisted.

"Not a big deal?" Jessica yelled. "I'm not playing Mommy to your…your….We're through!"

She stalked over to her car, pausing only a second to glare in our direction and then got in. She took off so fast a spray of dirt and grass kicked up behind her tires, leaving two ruts at the edge of the yard.

As soon as she was out of sight, Embry doubled over. For a second, I mistook the tears for his being upset, but soon it was apparent that he was cracking up laughing.

"What the hell was that?" Jake asked.

"Hey, it got rid of her, didn't it?" Embry gasped, still clutching his stomach.

Emily came outside then, apparently having heard the commotion, and Seth and Quil were on her heels.

Claire ran straight to Seth, who picked up the little girl and swung her around as she giggled and shrieked. Quil, on the other hand, just stared at her, wide-eyed, almost like he'd never seen a child before. It was kind of creepy. One by one, everyone else quieted as they noticed Quil's strange expression.

"Oh, shit," I heard Jacob say under his breath.

* * *

**Next up: Jake's POV, of course! And after that, we get to go shopping with Rachel and Leah. Does that sound like fun or what?**

**SOME NEW RULES & STUFF:**

1. If you ask when the next chapter will be posted, I will no longer give my standard "I don't know…as soon as I'm done writing it…I don't have a set schedule" answer (you know, the one that's posted on my profile). Going forward, the answer is: September 22nd, 2013. That's a Sunday.

2. If you don't have an account or don't feel like signing in when you leave your review, that's not a problem. Just know that whatever questions you ask will be considered rhetorical since I can't message you back. If you _really_ need an answer and can't/won't log in to ask, find me here: http://www(dot)formspring(dot)me/ysar

3. If in your review you mention a mistake/typo/grammatical error, but you don't tell me what exactly it is, I'm going to assume you're just making it up to get attention. And then I will foil your plan by not giving you the desired attention. And then you will be sad.

4. I disabled PMs. You can still reach me through the email link on my profile page, but FFn sucks at letting me know when I get a PM, so I finally just turned that option off. Soooooo... if I reply to your review, and you have something else to say, head on over to my profile to contact me. It's a pain, I know, but it's better than having me finally get your message two months from now.

5. I re-worked my favorites list. Most of you probably don't care, but if you are looking for something else to read while I write Jake's chapter, check out some of the people on my Favorite Authors list. Good stuff there.


	74. Distractions: Jacob's POV

I knew she was there before I even opened my eyes. It wasn't a matter of feeling her there against me, but more like I just felt something inside that told me she was there. I vaguely remembered her getting up at some point, but whatever it was hadn't kept her away long. Now we were both lying on our sides, facing each other, and her head was tucked under my chin, her hair tickling my nose when I leaned in to kiss the top of her head.

The events of the last several days---even the talk we'd had yesterday---had been hell. Chasing after leeches was nothing compared to the emotional storm we'd somehow made it through, and mentally I was drained and exhausted. But it wasn't over yet.

I really didn't want to get out of bed so soon, but I wasn't sure how much longer Charlie was going to let me just lie there. I could hear him moving around downstairs in the kitchen, and as cool as he was to let me stay over like this, I knew better than to push my luck.

I quietly moved away from Bella, trying not to wake her, so I could creep out of bed. The second we weren't touching anymore, the hand that had been resting against my stomach just seconds before reached out for me, and her body rolled forward. Her forehead wrinkled up and her lip turned down in a sleepy pout. I moved back over quickly, coaxing her into a better position, and leaned in to kiss her, laughing to myself as her lips pursed in return. Even in her sleep she knew it was me.

I tucked the covers in more closely around her and stood, buttoning up the stupid shirt I had to wear, and just stopping short of trying to flatten out the wrinkles. It looked like crap, but at least it would be obvious to Charlie that I had in fact worn it to sleep.

* * *

I stepped into the kitchen to find Charlie standing over the stove, and I stopped. I kind of wanted to make Bella breakfast or something, but it looked like he'd beat me to it. Not that I could have done any better than the toast, bacon, and eggs he had piled up on some plates.

"What?" he asked when he turned and saw me standing there. "I gotta feed you too?"

"No, I...well, I was gonna get something for Bella, but...'

"No need. I can take care of my daughter just fine," he said gruffly.

Oh, so we were back to _that_ again. I could understand why he was protective of her. I mean, I was protective of her, so it only made sense that her own dad would be. But surely he didn't think I was some sort of threat to his...relationship with her or whatever you'd call it. Charlie just didn't strike me as that type of guy. Besides, he'd known me my whole life. He'd met me just minutes after my own father had, having been out fishing with him when Mom went into labor with me. I'd heard that story a few too many times now. So why, when it was clear he liked me a hell of a lot better than the bloodsucker, was he so hot and cold now?

"Okay, then" I said shrugging.

"S'pose there's enough for one more," he mumbled, motioning with the spatula.

One more my ass. There was enough for half the pack, and I had to bite my tongue not to call him on it. It seemed Charlie wasn't too slick when it came to hiding his softer side. Of course, who was I to complain? He let me spend the night, made me breakfast...yeah, I pretty much had it made.

I got a plate for myself and grabbed a little of everything, and then sat down across from him at the table. We ate in silence, which was fine with me, and just as we were finishing, I heard Bella moving around upstairs. By the time she came down, though, Charlie and I had already cleaned up a little and we were both pretending to read the paper while we waited. At least that's what I was doing. Sure, there were a few ads for parts that were interesting, but nothing I could afford, and certainly nothing that would distract me from what I knew was coming.

Bella stopped and stared at us when she came down stairs, no doubt shocked at the scene. I just winked at her and kept pretending to read the paper. Really I was freaking out inside about the perfect date I had to plan.

Once she'd finished eating and Charlie had given her a cell phone---yeah, that came out of nowhere---I did the dishes while she got ready, and we headed out to La Push. Fortunately she was too distracted trying to figure out her new phone to notice I was off in another world too.

As usual, I hadn't really planned things too well. I'd jumped at Emily's offer to help me plan tonight, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do with Bella until then. I couldn't very well take her with me, and I couldn't let her go home. Dropping her off at Emily's was out of the question since Emily was in on the plan. Unless maybe Bella wanted to hang out with Sam all day. Nope, not an option.

That left me with only one choice: Leah's house. My house still had a young wolf in it, although it sounded like he would finally be going home soon. And while Leah certainly wouldn't have been my first choice, I thought maybe if she knew I was trying to do right by Bella, she might be willing to help me out. Plus, Rachel was there, and she seemed to like Bella...sometimes. Crap. I really should have asked Emily to help me with this part too.

I was still lost in thought, blindly driving down the road I knew like the back of my hand when I saw someone strolling along side up ahead. Embry? I pulled over next to him and cut off the engine.

Bella looked as surprised as I was, but when I nodded, she rolled down the window.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Dude, I had to crawl out the window 'cause that crazy girl won't leave me alone!"

"Jessica?" Bella guessed.

"Crazy girl," he said shaking his head. "What's her deal?"

"Ummm…she likes you?" Bella said with a little smirk.

"Whatever. How do I get rid of her?"

"I don't think you do," I chuckled. He should have known better than to get involved with her in the first place. That girl had "clingy" written all over her.

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but then his head jerked up, his eyes zeroing in on something in the distance as he cocked his head to the side like he was trying to figure something out.

"Shit!" he yelled before bounding over the side of the truck and landing with a smack in the bed. His fist pounded against the old metal as he yelled, "Go!"

Only one thing would have Embry cowering in the back of a rusty old pickup truck. Jessica. I started up the engine and tried to contain my laughter as I urged the truck forward. I could hear the sound of an approaching car, and seconds later, there it was. Jessica passed with a smile and a wave, and I resisted the urge to point toward the back of the truck and see what she'd do. Embry definitely owed me one.

Panic set in as I cut the engine and walked around the truck to meet Bella. We were at Leah's now, and somehow I had to pull this off. How I was going to convince Rachel to help me out without completely giving away the whole surprise, I didn't know, and I was beginning to question my decision to even make it a surprise. What I should have done was just tell Bella I wanted to do something special for her for dinner, ask her to avoid her house for the day, and then make everything perfect. Instead, I'd decided to go the extra romantic mile, and it was probably all going to blow up in my face. I could just see Rachel having one of her tantrums and screeching about it, Bella feeling like she was putting me out, Charlie just laughing at me, and the whole dinner turning into another pizza and movie night.

Bella's walk slowed, and I noticed she was staring at Harry's truck. I pulled at her hand a little, and she turned and smiled at me. I smiled back, hoping my nerves weren't completely showing through, and led her into the house.

"Boys!" Sue exclaimed, jumping up to greet us. "And Bella," she added, "So nice to see you."

At least I could count on Sue to be welcoming. She hugged us all and asked if we wanted something to drink. Luckily for me, Bella followed her into the kitchen, and I saw that as my chance.

I could hear the girls in Leah's room, and I tried knocking quietly, hoping I could get in, get out, and get back before Bella got suspicious. The door wasn't closed all the way, though, so it swung open wide as soon as my hand connected with it.

Leah was sprawled out on her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows and glaring at Rachel. Rach was standing in front of a long mirror hanging from the closet door and smearing something on her face.

"What do you want?" Rachel griped, not even turning to see who it was.

"I need a favor," I said, hoping she was feeling more generous than she sounded.

Rachel just rolled her eyes and kept on rubbing that stuff into her skin. "What?" she asked.

"Um...I need you to…like entertain Bella or something."

"What?" she asked again, this time turning toward me, her expression all wrinkled up and disbelieving.

"I have some stuff to take care of, and I need someone to keep her busy all day," I explained

"Just make up an excuse and take her home," Rachel shrugged, turning back to inspect her face in the mirror.

"She can't go home."

"Why?"

"Look, I'm trying to do something for her, and I have to go set it up at her house."

"A party?" Leah asked.

"No."

"Bella doesn't like parties," Rachel said.

"How would you know?" I asked her. And really, what did that have to do with anything?

"Don't you remember?" Rachel asked. "That birthday party?" She turned and stared at me, like looking was going to make me suddenly remember something that never happened.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"She was like…five or six…I don't know. But she had on the poufy dress and wouldn't stop crying."

Was she serious?

"She wanted to play or something, but her mom…" Rachel trailed off, still looking at me like I was the one who wasn't making any sense. "You seriously don't remember?"

"He would have been three, Rach," Leah interjected.

"Whatever," Rachel said dismissively. "She just hates parties. There was that one where she---"

"Can we walk down memory lane later?" I interrupted. "I don't want her to get suspicious."

"And I don't want to babysit your girlfriend all day," Rachel replied.

"What do you have to do?" Leah asked.

Thank God. I turned away from Rachel, realizing she was a lost cause, and focused on trying to get Leah on my side. "Emily's gonna help me make dinner for her, all nice like."

And that was all it took. Within seconds, Leah was overruling Rachel, promising not to give Bella a hard time, and agreeing to help me out. Now if only we could get Bella to go along with it.

When I walked back into the living room, Seth and Embry were acting like idiots, but that wasn't unusual. I grabbed an empty spot on the sofa and patted my leg for Bella to sit down with me. Well, on me, I guess. Same thing.

She looked over at Sue and back at me, hesitating like she thought we'd get in trouble or something, and then she kind of balanced herself on my knee, like she didn't want to get too close. I wasn't having any of that.

"Nope," I said, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her fully into my lap.

Sue laughed and kept sewing.

"What are we doing today?" Embry asked.

"I need to go by Sam's," I replied, trying to figure out how to tell Bella I'd offered her up to the she-wolf and the sister from hell.

"What for?" she asked me.

"His truck's acting up. I'm gonna see if I can figure it out," I said. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it certainly wasn't the whole truth, and I actually felt a little guilty about it.

"Oh, well, I can just visit with Emily then," Bella said.

"No, you're coming shopping with us," Rachel yelled from the kitchen, saving me the trouble of telling her.

"Me?" Bella asked, shocked.

"Yes, you," Rachel replied. "You didn't think I was inviting Jake, did you?"

"Well, no. I just…I'm not much of a shopper," Bella told her.

Crap. I hadn't thought about that. Rachel and Leah were typical girls, into makeup and clothes and all kinds of stupid stuff. Bella was just…Bella. Perfect, and nothing like them.

"Jake, I'm really worried about Bella," Embry said, interrupting my panic, but then causing me to panic even more.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, man, she runs with leeches _and _wolves," he said, a serious expression on his face. "And she doesn't like shopping. I don't think she's a girl. She might not even be human!"

Dumbass.

After a little convincing from Rachel, and even some completely out of character friendliness from Leah, Bella agreed to join them in shopping, and I was free to get everything ready for our dinner date. Rather than waste any more time, we made our excuses and started to head over to Sam's. Only the girls weren't ready to leave just yet, and Bella wanted to go with me. Embry, who was starting to look at me like he knew something was up, ran ahead of us.

When we got to Emily's, she gave me a sly wink and kept working on her grocery list. I knew it was for dinner tonight, and I was feeling a little better that everything seemed to be falling into place. Bella chatted with Emily for a little while before I hinted that I had to get to work on Sam's truck, and luckily Bella didn't miss my meaning. But as I walked her back outside, I could tell something was upsetting her.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked, hoping I hadn't done anything to upset her again.

"I just…miss you, I guess," she said softly.

"I'm right here," I told her.

"Yeah, but you're staying here, and I have to go do girl time or whatever," she grumbled.

I almost laughed. She was adorable when she was clingy. Well, I guess clingy wasn't the right word. She just wanted to stay with me, and I knew exactly how she felt. Clingy, on the other hand, was headed straight for us.

Jessica's car pulled up just as Embry decided to come outside. That was it. The show was on.

"Aren't you going to help him?" Bella asked as we watched the girl throw herself at Embry.

"No," I said, enjoying his pain. "He brought this on himself."

She started talking his ear off while he looked like he couldn't decide whether he should kill her or himself, but her rambling was cut short when another car pulled in just seconds later. Emily's sister was here, and it looked like she'd brought her little girl along.

"Who's that?" Bella asked.

"Allison. Emily's sister."

We watched as she unbuckled Claire and set her loose, the little girl immediately spotting me. She ran straight at me, colliding with my leg, and I grabbed her up, tossing her around a bit to make her laugh. Embry walked over and picked her up, whispering in her ear, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Surely he didn't expect a toddler to understand his scheming well enough to pull it off.

"Daddy!" she screamed, hugging him tightly, and proving me wrong. I could almost feel Bella's confusion, and I knew she was looking at me for an explanation, but this was too good to turn away from.

Jessica started screaming, Embry set Claire loose again, and I suddenly had a really bad feeling. That girl was just crazy enough to say or do something really stupid, and I wasn't so sure this was going to be entertaining after all.

"What is he doing?" Allison asked us.

"I have no idea," I said, leaving the explaining for Embry to do. No way was he getting me caught up in this, especially if Allison got pissed.

"It's not a big deal," Embry said, trying to look innocent even though it was obvious he was about to crack up.

"Not a big deal?" Jessica screeched. "I'm not playing Mommy to your…your….We're through!"

She glared at us as she stormed to her car, but she didn't look back as she pulled away. I had to hand it to Embry. He had accomplished the impossible when he managed to run her off.

"What the hell was that?" I asked him.

"Hey, it got rid of her, didn't it?" he laughed.

The door opened behind him, and Emily stepped out, probably to find out what the hell was going on. Seth and Quil were right behind her, although I could tell by their expressions they knew what Embry had done. Hell, they'd probably been laughing their asses off inside, eavesdropping and making Emily even more curious. Claire giggled and ran to Seth who swung her around, making her shriek with laughter. And then I saw Quil.

I'd never witnessed an actual imprint before, but I knew it when I saw it. Quil was staring at Claire like there was nothing else in the universe, and there was no doubt in my mind what was happening.

"Oh, shit."

* * *

**_I know. Being gone for so long sucked. Between the computer virus and the new job, everything just sort of went wrong at once. The job thing is still a big obstacle at the moment, but I'm trying to fit some writing in where I can. And I'm sorry for not being able to respond to the reviews and PMs this last time._**

**_Thank you to everyone who voted for me in the Bellies. No idea how that will turn out, but just seeing my fic on the list is amazing enough, and I think it's finally starting to sink in just how big all of you have made this story._**

**_Oh, and if you commented on that note I left about the evil virus, you won't be able to comment on this chapter. If you're determined, though, just go back to another chapter you haven't reviewed before, and leave it there. I'll still get it ;)  
_**


	75. Diversion: Bella's POV

**Sorry for the ridiculously long wait. I've been working 12-14 hour days, I came down with the flu, I had to put my dog to sleep, and my friend was murdered. So yeah… that's what's been going on.**

* * *

_Previously: Bella and Jake fell in super cheesy love, their miscommunication became the stuff of legends, there was a serious lack of lemons, some vampires showed up, some wolves killed a bunch of them, a rabid dinosaur attacked (or something like that) and now Jake's off trying to be all romantic and cook dinner for Bella while she's stuck in Port Angeles shopping with Leah & Rachel-because that's sooo not awkward for Bella at all. Now on with the story…_

This was not how I expected my day to go. Sure, my life was filled with unexpected things, but for all the oddities like werewolves and vampires, there were a thousand little normal things like homework, grocery lists, and reruns on TV. I supposed this fit in the latter category, though. A group of girls going shopping was normal, right?

"Finally!" Leah huffed, throwing off her seatbelt and slinging the door open before Rachel could even get the car into park.

She'd been staring out the window through most of the trip while Rachel sang along with the radio and filled the commercial breaks with chatter about Paul. It wasn't altogether uncomfortable, but I honestly wondered if they'd forgotten I was in the car until Rachel cut the engine and told me to hurry up.

Exiting the car, I stood and took a look around. I didn't know Port Angeles very well, having only really been a couple of times, but I was sure I'd never been to this part of the city before before. We were parked in front of a rundown strip mall, complete with several vacant windows and some faded signs advertising the few remaining occupants. We were one of only four cars in the oversized parking lot, and I suspected the other cars belonged to people who were working in one of the limited selection of shops. Our choices were a Laundromat, chiropractor, shoe repair shop, and thrift store. It was pretty clear which one we'd come for.

Rachel made a run for the door while Leah strolled along behind.

"They've got a lot of junk," Leah explained, "but there's always some good stuff for cheap. You have to dig for it, but it beats the hell out of the mall."

"What are we looking for?" I asked as we stepped inside.

The old woman behind the counter didn't even look up from her magazine when the cowbell on the door clanked and rattled loudly against the glass. Well, at least we weren't going to be followed around by chatty, overly helpful salespeople.

"Just whatever," she shrugged. "You'll know it when you see it."

I wandered my way through the store, not really stopping to look at anything in particular, while the other two picked their way through racks and bins. I didn't have much money with me, not having expected an impromptu shopping excursion when I'd left the house this morning, and my closet was already full enough as it was. Unfortunately, Leah did not agree.

"Try this," she said, popping up from behind a rack and shoving a wad of fabric at me.

"Oh, I'm not really looking to buy anything," I said, trying to push it back.

"Just try it, Bella," she insisted. "It's only two dollars if you like it."

I opened my mouth to argue but promptly shut it when Leah cocked an eyebrow at me, as if daring me to argue. Angry Leah had been replaced by semi-civil Leah, and I wasn't about to risk whatever was in store if I ruined her mood. Sighing in defeat and wondering why I'd even agreed to this trip, I turned and made my way over to the dressing room.

I wasn't a neat freak or anything, but putting on some stranger's clothes in a dimly lit closet with nothing but a musty old curtain for a door was not my idea of fun. However, I had to hand it to Leah. The blouse she'd scrounged up was right in line with my taste in clothing. Ironically, it reminded me of the old shirt Renee would wear when she got into one of her rare cleaning moods. It wasn't too dressy, and it was comfortable. Between that and the fact that it was only two dollars, I didn't see the harm in buying it.

Leah and Rachel were apparently a lot more decisive than I was, and by the time we got out of there, they had about twenty new purchases to my one. Leah wasted no time in stripping off her shirt as we were driving away, and I'm pretty sure my cheeks flamed in embarrassment for her as she quickly changed into a new top she'd bought.

"Shouldn't you wash that first?" I asked.

"Nope. That's the coolest thing about it, other than the price. The lady who runs the place owns the Laundromat, and she washes everything before she puts it up for sale. See?" she said, holding her sleeved arm toward me. "April fresh."

After pending way too long in the thrift store, I was disappointed to see that we were headed further into Port Angeles instead of back toward home. Leah and Rachel seemed to have too much time to kill, and as nice as they were being, it still didn't hold a candle to being with Jacob. I wondered what he was doing and if he had Sam's truck fixed yet. I wondered if he'd have to patrol tonight or if he might get to stay over again. I wondered if Charlie had finally lost his mind when he agreed to that.

But first, Rachel insisted on stopping at a weird little shop filled with crystals, incense, and wood carvings that vaguely resembled animal heads. The crystals were pretty enough, but I didn't buy one word the sales guy said about their "special healing powers" and "vibrations." It was kind of funny, actually. I believed in supernatural creatures, but I didn't believe in the power of crystals. Fortunately, Leah appeared to agree with me, and as Rachel hung on the strange man's every word, Leah stood back and made faces, mimicking his expressions and flailing her hands around in exaggerated gestures as he spoke. He and Rachel were oblivious, but I was so close to erupting in laughter that I finally had to go outside. I was definitely seeing a whole different side of Leah, and I wondered if it was as simple as getting away from the pack for a while.

When we were finished there, we ended up at yet another out of the way shop, this one hawking used CDs and collectible vinyl records. And after that, it was a ridiculously expensive clothing store, where Leah and Rachel tried on silk dresses and six hundred dollar shoes, only to leave empty handed. Apparently briefly wearing clothes they could never afford was their idea of fun, but I doubted the poor salesgirl counting on the commission agreed.

"You hungry?" Rachel asked as we left the salesgirl to clean up the mess they'd made.

Now that she mentioned it, I was starving. I looked at the time on my new cell phone, trying not to give in to the urge to call Jacob, and realized we'd been shopping for several hours. "Sure," I said. I didn't want to eat too much since I'd probably be cooking dinner just a few hours later, but I could definitely get a snack. A big snack.

Instead of taking the car again, we walked the block and a half to a little café that Rachel swore served just about everything. Two of the waitresses and a cook smiled and waved as we walked in, evidently familiar with my companions, and I tagged along as they walked straight past the "please wait to be seated" sign and headed to the counter.

A guy who looked to be just a few years older than us came out, smiling broadly, and Rachel began shamelessly flirting. He paid just enough attention to Leah and me to get our orders, and we left Rachel, still flirting, to claim the corner booth. Leah quickly filled me in, telling me that Rachel flirted with him every time, and every time she left him hanging. Sure enough, when he slipped her a piece of paper, she acted offended and hurried over to join us.

"Jeez, Rach. Give the guy a break," Leah said.

"He knows I've got Paul," Rachel said indignantly. "I don't know why he even tries."

"Probably because you're always shoving your boobs in his face," Leah retorted.

I cringed and felt myself blushing, and I swear they must have smelled the blood. Both Leah and Rachel turned to me instantly, wearing identical sly smiles.

"So, Bella," Rachel began, drawing out my name. "Tell us."

"What?" I asked. They looked like they were up to something, and I had the feeling it was going to be uncomfortable, embarrassing, or both. And I was right.

"How's Jake?" she asked.

"Um, good, I guess," I replied. "I mean, we're good."

"How good?" Leah chimed in.

"Huh?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "In _bed_," she said casually, as if she was asking something as simple as what my favorite color was.

"It's not like…" I began, searching for a way to deflect her question without completely humiliating myself. "I mean, we don't…um…" Humiliation guaranteed.

"Whatever" she said, looking for all the world like she didn't believe me.

"We haven't been together that long," I insisted.

"Well, me and Paul…" Rachel said, finishing her sentence with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

"Yes, we know all about you and Paul," Leah practically snapped at her. "And why aren't you gagging or something. This is your brother we're talking about."

"Excuse me," Rachel said sarcastically, turning on Leah, "But _I'm_ not the one who gets to do the mind sharing thing. You and Jake get to know pretty much everything about my love life, whether I want you to or not."

"Because you won't shut up about it," Leah huffed.

"No, because you share brains when you're all…" Rachel paused and looked around the diner for a second. "When you're all…_you know_," she whispered. "I just want some dirt on Jake. He probably has no idea what he's doing." And that's when she remembered I was there. "He's really bad, isn't he?" she asked.

"No," I said, realizing my mistake as soon as her eyes widened. "I mean…we've never…done _that_," I said, hoping I'd made myself clear this time.

"You're saving yourself for marriage?" Rachel asked. She and Leah were just gaping at me now.

"Not exactly," I answered vaguely. "It's just not the right time, I guess."

"Well, you _should_ wait," Leah said almost angrily. "Don't just give it up because you think you're in love. Guys are assholes."

"What she means is Sam's an asshole," Rachel added.

"All guys are assholes," Leah insisted. "At least Bella's getting fair warning."

I didn't consider myself a prude, but I wasn't sure how I felt about discussing the details of my relationship with Jake with two girls I really didn't know that well. Rachel was his sister, which just made the whole thing weird, and her ever-changing moods made me reluctant to trust her. And Leah…well, I kind of liked her -when she was being nice - but this was probably the first time she'd said more than five words to me. Besides, what Jake and I did or didn't do was our business, right?

"Can we talk about something else?" I asked.

"Oh, come on, Bella," Rachel urged. "It's just girl talk."

"Who had the Caesar?" the flirty guy from the counter interrupted.

None of us had noticed his approach, but his timing could not have been better as he handed us our plates and began trying to chat it up with Rachel again. Leah was wolfing down a cheeseburger (pun intended), and Rachel was stuck pretending to be too interested in her chicken to talk to the guy she'd shamelessly led on. Me? I was just picking at my salad and surreptitiously checking the time on my phone. If we left soon, we'd be home around dark, and even though I'd actually had a nice time today, I was dying to get home to Jacob.

"Um...I have to go to the bathroom," I said.

Leah, didn't even set down her burger, but she slid out of the booth to let me out. I hurried over to the bathroom, pulling out my phone the second I had the door locked behind me. Three rings later, Paul answered.

"Is Jake there?" I asked.

_"Nope. He left right after you did. You want me to ask Sam where he went?"_ he offered.

"Oh," I said, disappointed. "So the truck's fixed?"

_"The truck?"_ he asked.

"Yeah, Jake said he had to work on it for Sam or something."

_"I don't think so,"_ Paul replied. _"Emily's out in it now. I think she had to take Jake somewhere."_

"Oh, okay. Well, I guess I'll just find him when I get back."

I stood there for a minute or two after we hung up. My disappointment in not being able to talk to Jake was now outweighed by my curiosity.

* * *

**Next up: Jake in a frilly apron. Okay, maybe not frilly, but he's got a romantic dinner to prepare, you know. And a day spent with Emily doesn't come without a healthy dose of advice. Think he can pull it off?  
**

**The Underdog Awards is accepting nominations for Jake/Bella fics at http:/bit(dot)ly/ciE49B. There are a lot of categories, so you can nominate a ton of your favorite J/B fics & authors. Plus, the community itself kinda rocks.**

**Breathe Again has been nominated in a couple of categories in the Bring Me to Life Awards: http:/bit(dot)ly/btYGom. Whether you're into voting for that sort of thing or not, check out the nominees. Some of my favorite fics in the fandom are up there.**

**To those who have been asking when I'm going to post the sequel...let's not put the cart in front of the horse. I've got something like three more pieces to post for Breathe Again before we head off to the University of Citrusy Possibilities (aka the sequel).  
**

**p.s. Tyler, thanks for checking in on me. I might just have to send you an early chapter, you know.**


	76. Diversion: Jacob's POV

Getting Bella to leave after Quil's little show was no easy feat. Really, the last thing I wanted to do was run her off, but after all the trouble I'd gone to, it would have been stupid to blow it now. And so I hugged her tight and kissed her so long that she was bright red and embarrassed by the time I let her go, and then I stood and watched until her truck disappeared around a bend in the road.

"You missed a little," Embry chuckled. "She still had some face left, I think."

"Shut it," I said, knocking into his shoulder as I walked past him to find Emily.

Things had been strangely quiet after the whole imprinting thing. Claire was clueless, of course, but everyone else? Not as clueless as we would have liked. Even Bella had looked at me like she was expecting some kind of explanation, but how the hell was I supposed to explain what had just happened? _Oh, no big deal. That werewolf over there? Yeah, he just imprinted on a baby. They're gonna have a Spongebob themed wedding now. _Aside from the obvious imprinting, I had no idea what was going on. This was just…creepy.

Emily was back at the kitchen table when I walked in. Only this time, Allison was sitting across from her, clutching a cup of coffee like her life depended on it. The conversation looked serious, and I knew immediately what it was about, so of course I walked right past them and out the back door. I didn't have to guess that the rest of the guys were out there, but what I didn't expect was the entire pack. Even Collin and Brady were there, looking as about uncomfortable as two newly turned wolves possibly could.

"She's gonna think I'm a freak," Quil was complaining.

Collin and Brady were standing back, probably not sure what to do with themselves, but everyone else was kind of huddled around Quil, who looked like he was just about ready to crawl out of his skin. I couldn't blame him for that.

"You've gotta calm down, man," Jared said. "This is natural."

"_Natural?_ What the hell is _natural_ about this? She's a baby, for Christ's sake!" Quil yelled.

Sam stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder, no doubt worried that Quil was going to phase right then and there. Because, you know, the imprinting wasn't freaky enough for Allison and Claire.

"Just let Emily talk to her," Sam said calmly. "She can make her understand."

"Really, Sam? And what happens when Allison figures out those scars weren't caused by a bear?" Quil replied, panic raising his voice. "What then?"

Sam visibly bristled as the rest of us held our breaths. Provoking the Alpha certainly wasn't the way to sell the situation to Allison, either.

"Go," Sam growled quietly, threateningly. "Go run, go cliff dive, go _something_. And don't come back until you've got your shit together."

Quil's eyes darted to the backdoor and then to me.

"Come on," I sighed. "Let's run."

* * *

I guess I didn't really understand imprinting after all. I mean, I'd seen it through the minds of Jared and Sam and…ugh, Paul, but I'd never actually witnessed it firsthand. And I always assumed it would happen with someone a bit more age appropriate. But a glimpse inside Quil's head told me that age had nothing to do with it, and his thoughts weren't anything like I had expected. With the other guys there had been a sense of devotion and lust, but with Quil, it was just protective and…innocent?

_What the hell, Jake?_

_Sorry, man, I just didn't know it worked that way._

_Yeah, well that makes two of us._

I knew my thoughts were annoying him, maybe even offending him a little, but I couldn't help it. I supposed he couldn't help it either, though. Wow, that must suck. I couldn't imagine imprinting on a little kid and then having to wait…for what? Were they going to be like Sam and Emily one day? All inseparable and in love?

I tried to control my thoughts, my questions, but it was no use. Even if I didn't think about it right now, I'd think about it later, and the next time we phased, the whole pack would "hear." Besides, Quil wasn't paying any attention to me anyway. He was too busy wondering what Claire was doing, if Allison was going to get a restraining order or something, if Emily would be able to explain what was going on without making him sound like a creep.

* * *

By the time we got back to Emily's, Quil's head was a little clearer, but only for a moment. Allison and Claire were gone. He just about had a panic attack, even though Emily assured him that everything was smoothed over. It sounded like Allison wasn't thrilled about it, she wasn't completely freaked out. And that was more than anyone could say for the rest of us.

Unfortunately, our little run had lasted nearly four hours, and that meant I was way behind schedule in getting together dinner for Bella. She'd be home in a couple of hours at the most, but there was still so much to do. On the up side, Emily had cut the flowers that I picked out for Bella and even arranged them so that they looked like they'd been bought instead of stolen from her yard. Even if Emily had insisted they weren't _actually_ stolen.

* * *

"Will you just hurry up and pick one?" Emily asked, clearly irritated with me. "It's just chicken, Jake."

"But which one?" I asked, holding two packages up, like I somehow knew what I was comparing.

"This one," Emily said, suddenly grabbing for the one in my right hand.

Out of instinct or stupidity—I'm not sure which—I automatically raised it up out of her reach, immediately regretting it as I felt slimy chicken…juice, or whatever it was, running down my arm.

She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently and giving me a look I thought only moms were allowed to give. "Well, if you plan on feeding her raw chicken, then we have all the time in the world. I'll just come back later to pick you up."

Shit. She was right, and I was being an idiot…again. And to make matters worse, I was pretty sure she could see the second that realization washed across my face. "Fine," I huffed, dropping the package into the cart. It was just chicken, and it probably all looked the same when it was cooked anyway, so I wasn't sure why I was freaking out about it in the first place. I heard her muttering under her breath as she walked away, so I grabbed the cart and pushed it after her.

Paying attention to each passing minute now, I stopped worrying so much about every little detail as I followed Emily through the store. She insisted what we…well, _I_ was cooking would be easy, but it didn't look like it based on all the little jars and stuff that were covering the bottom of the shopping cart. I was almost ready to panic again, which would have just been stupid considering it was panicking that had gotten me into trouble in the first place. Besides, Emily wouldn't let me screw this up. Right?

We'd just grabbed the last thing on the list and were getting in line at one of the registers when Emily's step faltered and she suddenly dropped her gaze to the old linoleum tile. Her shoulders seemed to curl in around her body, as if she was trying to make herself disappear, but before I had the chance to ask her what was wrong, I saw them. They were staring.

Two kids who looked to be about Seth's age were looking right at us and whispering, and a little girl sitting in a cart while her mom loaded groceries onto the conveyor belt was outright gaping. Everyone else appeared to be looking at anything except us, but as I noticed them sneaking sideways glances here and there. Only they weren't really looking at us. They were looking at Emily.

I glanced back down at Emily, and she seemed to be shrinking even further away, her hair falling across her scarred face as she tried to disappear from sight. Without thinking I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me, curling my other arm protectively around her as I glared over her head at anyone foolish enough to meet my gaze. After a few seconds, she raised her head again, looking up at me with a curious expression. I just smiled and kissed the top of her head, feeling her instantly relax a bit.

"You know you're beautiful, right?" I asked.

Her eyes were still filled with a dark sadness, but she offered a small smile, and I couldn't help but grin back.

* * *

"You just gonna sit there?" I asked.

"Yep," Emily said, leaning back with a smirk. "This is all you, Jake."

She'd parked her ass at the kitchen table about five seconds after we walked into Bella's house, and the only time she got up was to get herself something to drink or lean over the stove and tell me I was doing something wrong.

"Well, what am I supposed to do with all this?" I asked, gesturing at the aftermath that used to be Bella's kitchen.

"Clean it?" Emily giggled. That's right. Giggled. Like a five year old.

There was…stuff…everywhere. Dishes were piled high in the sink, there was a thin layer of flour on the floor, and I was sure that burnt, caked on mess was not on the stove when I started. Sure, the food was all in the oven, but that was about all I'd done right. I sighed and picked up a dishtowel, knocking over a bottle of wine. At least it was corked. The last thing I needed to do was spill alcohol all over the kitchen. Charlie would never believe it was just for cooking.

"Fine," Emily said, rolling her eyes at me. "You set the table, and I'll see what I can do in here." She brushed past me and immediately set to work on the dishes. "Candles are in there," she said, nodding toward a big canvas bag sitting by the door.

Candles. Flowers. Setting the table. Not burning the food. So far, so good. Bella would probably be home any minute now, and it looked like I was actually going to be able to pull this off.

* * *

Okay, next up is the "date!" It will be the last official chapter of Breathe Again, but of course, the larger story won't stop there. I have already written a piece that covers their summer, and after that's posted, I'll begin posting the sequel that picks up when Bella's in college. And yes, I've already written several key scenes for the sequel, including a few little details you have all been waiting for.  
Think fruit. The yellow kind.


End file.
